I’m sure by now that at whatever point in your life you may be, you have had all kinds of relationships, some which have left a happy imprint in your heart and others hurtful. My biggest learning that I wish to share with you is that if you are able to get into the mind-set that ‘all past relationships are in fact a success’ as they have helped you to grow into the person you are right now. Had I not had my own relationship challenges, disappointments and heartbreaks along the way I know for sure I would not be doing the work I love and Find YOU, Find LOVE would not be in the process of being written and so I for one would not change my past relationships for anything.
Perhaps stop and reflect for a moment and consider how your past relationships may have benefitted you. All relationships change over time. All support you to grow in some way and when you are able to explore the learning’s, wisdom and knowledge you have gained about yourself by experiencing them, what may seem like something that was one unbearable may in fact be a gift in developing as the wonderful human being that you are.
There is a term used in NLP that ‘the map is not the territory’ which basically means whatever your experiences of love and relationships up to now there is always a different journey ahead waiting for you that’s totally different to the map that you have in your mind. The map or the blueprint that you may have been holding onto will be made up of your past love and relationship experiences and may not be the best guide to your future. It would be like covering old rocky ground with your inner Sat Nav telling you over and over again ‘turn around where possible’.
It’s time to tear up the map of what hasn’t worked, forget about the wrong paths you may have gone down, and the dead ends you found yourself up against because there is a whole new territory waiting out there for you. It’s time to plan the journey based on a new destination, very much like creating a travel plan of places that you’d like to visit along the way to the ultimate journey’s end. There is no point in using your old map. The past is over and you have your whole life ahead of you.
I encourage you to reflect on the following points to make your journey ahead the best it can be:
In terms of your love and relationship goals, ask yourself:
- What do I need to start doing?
- What do I need to stop doing?
- What do I need to do differently?
- What do I need for my journey ahead?
Be aware of what thoughts, actions and behaviours will take you closer to your dreams and then go get them!
You can’t move on with the next chapter of your life if you keep re reading the last one – author unknown