26 May

All past relationships are in fact a success

I’m sure by now that at whatever point in your life you may be, you have had all kinds of relationships, some which have left a happy imprint in your heart and others hurtful.  My biggest learning that I wish to share with you is that if you are able to get into the mind-set that ‘all past relationships are in fact a success’ as they have helped you to grow into the person you are right now.  Had I not had my own relationship challenges, disappointments and heartbreaks along the way I know for sure I would not be doing the work I love and Find YOU, Find LOVE would not be in the process of being written and so I for one would not change my past relationships for anything.

Perhaps stop and reflect for a moment and consider how your past relationships may have benefitted you.  All relationships change over time.  All support you to grow in some way and when you are able to explore the learning’s, wisdom and knowledge you have gained about yourself by experiencing them, what may seem like something that was one unbearable may in fact be a gift in developing as the wonderful human being that you are.

There is a term used in NLP that ‘the map is not the territory’ which basically means whatever your experiences of love and relationships up to now there is always a different journey ahead waiting for you that’s totally different to the map that you have in your mind.  The map or the blueprint that you may have been holding onto will be made up of your past love and relationship experiences and may not be the best guide to your future.  It would be like covering old rocky ground with your inner Sat Nav telling you over and over again ‘turn around where possible’.

It’s time to tear up the map of what hasn’t worked, forget about the wrong paths you may have gone down, and the dead ends you found yourself up against because there is a whole new territory waiting out there for you.  It’s time to plan the journey based on a new destination, very much like creating a travel plan of places that you’d like to visit along the way to the ultimate journey’s end.  There is no point in using your old map.  The past is over and you have your whole life ahead of you.

I encourage you to reflect on the following points to make your journey ahead the best it can be:

In terms of your love and relationship goals, ask yourself:

  • What do I need to start doing?
  • What do I need to stop doing?
  • What do I need to do differently?
  • What do I need for my journey ahead?

Be aware of what thoughts, actions and behaviours will take you closer to your dreams and then go get them!

You can’t move on with the next chapter of your life if you keep re reading the last one – author unknown

18 May

What love and relationship beliefs are holding you back from the love you deserve?

My forthcoming book Find YOU, Find LOVE will guide you in exploring what love and relationship beliefs are holding you back from the love you deserve.

The truth is we become so comfortable with our love and relationship beliefs and the ‘stories’ that we tell about them, that until we awaken from the story we aren’t aware that there are alternative choices and beliefs available to us.  After years of telling our stories and believing them as the whole truth and nothing but the truth this may become all we talk and think about.  We may become accustomed to think about our past with blame,  regret, bitterness and disappointment and be blinkered in thinking that the future can be any better.  We go into a cycle – a loop of negative thoughts, feelings and emotions constantly reacting to ‘old stuff’ and old stories.

I will be honest here that the only person suffering is you.  The past only exists in our heads and it’s us who decides what we think about, no one else.  Harsh perhaps, but true and I share this point as I know from my own experience that spending time telling old stories and reliving them emotionally only limits you.

Find YOU, Find LOVE will give you the tools to master your emotions and steer the way ahead enabling you to close the book on your past once and for all.  You have a future full of possibilities ahead of you, it’s time to start a new book and a new journey and I will guide you every step of the way.

 

12 May

Repeat after me…

‘’I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other’’ – The Vow

Can you imagine how your life would change if you made a vow to love yourself today, tomorrow and all your days that follow?

Every night and every morning on waking and sleeping if were to repeat this vow to yourself, what do you think you would notice?  How will you be thinking differently?  How will you be feeling?  What will happen in your relationships with others when you give this unconditional love to yourself?

Accepting yourself, warts and all and acting in kind and loving ways to yourself first and foremost will add to your pot of love. Each and every day that you repeat this vow to yourself your pot of love fills up to overflowing. You have all the love inside of you will ever want and more.

Start with the vow today and tomorrow and the next day and just notice what changes within and around you.

Excerpts taken from my forthcoming book Find YOU, Find LOVE

04 May

Free to do what you want to do…

Think about all the reasons why letting go of the past and setting yourself free could benefit you.

Just like clearing out a wardrobe that has been full of outdated clothes, it’s possible for you to also throw out old, outdated thinking and make space for the new, fresh and vibrant choices that there may be no room for otherwise.

If you were to count every day how many of your negative thoughts relate to the past, I do believe you would surprise yourself.

• What have been the consequences of holding onto the past and how has this affected you negatively?

• How would moving on from the past benefit you?

• How would you be thinking differently?

• What opportunities might come your way if you are able to let go and move on completely?

• How would your life change if you were able to let go of the past and move on?

• What would letting go of the past give you an opportunity to do that you’re not already doing?

Making gradual change in your thinking and actions, making a commitment to yourself and taking full responsibility for the rest of your life being the best of your life can only serve you and bring you closer to the love and relationships that you desire.

My forthcoming book Find YOU, Find LOVE will support you to move on from the past and set you free to do what you want to do.