29 Mar

Time…Make every second count

Today with the clocks going forward an hour it made me aware once more of just how quickly time goes by.  Before we know it another week, month and year has gone by.

There have been some synchronicities this week that have made me aware of the importance of time and making every second count.

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Last weekend I received sad news that my best friends sister had passed away at the tender age of 48, the same age as me.  To die this young seems so unfair to me when a person has reached less than half of their possible life span.  It bought home to me that sometimes we just go through the motions of life not really living.  Doing the same things day in and day out making little time for fun.

Hazel’s death was inevitable, her family were aware of the fragility of her life and in the last few months leading to her passing I know for sure that she enjoyed going spending time with her family and friends, going to the theatre, out for meals, drinking cocktails and going to see her favourite bands. Her life in the last few months wasn’t wholly comfortable though she knew that she was loved.

  • How many of us actually know we are loved by our families or that we love them?
  • How often do we make time for each other to share good times as well as the bad and ugly?
  • If we received shocking news that a loved one had died suddenly would they know that they were loved?
  • If you were to live your life every day as if it were your last who would you spend time with, what would you do, what would you say to your nearest and dearest? 

So again that question of time and the synchronicities of life….

On Friday I bumped into an old school friend that I hadn’t seen for 34 years!

TIME, boy oh boy does it fly by.  As a result of this meeting I am now reconnected with friends from Sutton West, my secondary school and with some of the people who bought much joy and laughter to my younger years.  You can see me here in the middle (with short hair) with this wonderful bunch of fabulous young women on the annual school mufti day…a day of personal freedom when you could wear what you wanted to and have the opportunity to express who you are.

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Getting back to the question of time!

  • How do you spend your time?
  • If you received news that you only had a few months to live how would you use that time?
  • Are there people you would like to make amends with?
  • Are there some people you may benefit from forgiving?
  • Do you need to forgive yourself? 
  • How do you waste time? Procrastinating, avoiding?
  • Are there things that you say you will do tomorrow and tomorrow never comes?
  • Today and every day is an opportunity to live your life on purpose! Are you?

For each and every one of you reading this you have the opportunity to make every second count.

We are the lucky ones who woke up today, the lucky ones who moved the hands of time forward on our clocks, the lucky ones who have an opportunity to spend time with our nearest and dearest or spend our time getting on and doing the things that we said we’ve always wanted to do.

So if you want to go sky diving, drink Singapore slings in Singapore, learn to play guitar, see the Northern Lights or simply want to arrange a get together with your mates, make that plan! I will be doing that and seeing my besties on Thursday to celebrate the birth of one of my gorgeous friends.

We are the lucky ones who still have the opportunity to live our lives on purpose.

Tomorrow isn’t promised…make every second count!

Today is the first day of the rest of your life and it’s up to you to make it a good one...

If you need some help and support coming to terms with living the life you have or overcoming the loss of someone that you’ve loved.  Please do make contact. I work in person in Sutton, Surrey and also across Skype internationally.

There are a range of free resources at www.wendyfry.com that will support you with love and relationships challenges and  www.bepositive.me.uk  for general emotional support.

From my heart to yours with love

x Wendy

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21 Mar

Endings and Beginnings

Yesterday March 20th 2015 marked the Spring Equinox a day of much hype as it was also a very special day marking a very rare solar eclipse and super moon.  There was a certain anticipation in the air and a stir of excitement.  The thing I love about the eclipse is it brings people together.  We all share the same planet and it was so great to see young and old together and different nationalities intermixed in the great outdoors, waiting with baited breath and camera posed for a shot of the eclipse.  Did you get a glimpse?

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New moons are times that are opportunities to manifest.  A time for new birth.  New beginnings and for me that marks the opportunity for endings too.

What would you benefit from ending in your life?  

  • Could it be dysfunctional or toxic relationships?
  • Perhaps ending a job that you’re not happy in and finding one that leaves you eager to start work each day?
  • Could it be something that impacts your health like over eating, drinking, drugs or smoking?
  • Could it be deciding to move on from the past and starting today as the first day of the rest of your life?
  • What’s the cost to you if you don’t make these changes?
  • What would creating these endings make space for and what would that give you?

I spent some time yesterday writing up my new moon wishes.  I thought about the area’s of my life where I perhaps needed to be more compassionate towards myself and others.  I explored forgiveness and who I needed to forgive, including myself.  I pondered how I want to use my creativity and develop it further to benefit others.  I got in touch with the part of me that still wants to learn and develop.  I gained greater clarity about my future, what I want and where I’m headed. I let go of the thoughts that cause me suffering.  I decided to take better care of myself and to be sure I put myself first and consider when I say yes to things when I really want to say no.

How would you benefit exploring the very same areas and writing up your new moon wishes around compassion, forgiveness, creativity, personal  or psychic development, clarity, suffering, self care?  

Take a little time to do this as soon as you can, the new moon is very potent and will support you with the changes you wish to make.

Spring for many is a time for coming out of hibernation, a time for Spring cleaning the home and starting afresh.  Have you ever thought about spring cleaning your mind?

 

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Spend some time over the weekend thinking about what physical possessions hold an energy of unhappy memories, how do these memories and emotions limit you?  How do they hold you back from achieving what you want?

  • Do you have clothes or possessions that are worn out, chipped, broken, damaged?  
  • What are you keeping hold of that you’re attached to gets in the way of you moving on?  

In Feng Shui we are advised to recycle, to throw away and clear the things  that are not useful, practical and beautiful.  These things create negative energy.

  • For example what do you have under your bed that you sleep on top of every night?
  • How might this be affecting you on an energetic/emotional level?
  • Move it, throw it, sort it and see what happens….

Since I made some changes in my own home my business and therefore income has increased and I no longer feel held back or ineffectual,  I have well and truly had a very good sort out and it was exhilarating to be free of physical possessions and the emotional attachment I had to them.

I know someone that had photo album, upon photo album of all her failed relationships under her bed along with the divorce papers and underwear that she had bought for special occasions for these different people.  It’s not great energy to be sleeping over all this old stuff that relates to relationship failure if you want to attract a new partner!

  • Is your mind in need of a spring clean too?
  • What stories and movies from the past do you keep replaying?
  • What emotions do you experience every day based on your thoughts about the past?  Sadness, regret, bitterness, anger?

I promise you the energy of this kind of thinking will leave you feeling less than positive and will be energetically holding you back from achieving what you want!

If you need to journal these old stories and get them out.  Burn them and bury them in the soil to transmute.

Use EFT (The Emotional Freedom Technique) to release blocked and stagnant energy from your body.  Throw out the things that hold you back in mind, body and spirit.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life….

Create Your Life On Purpose! 

Today is the first day of the rest of your life and it’s up to you to make it a good one...

If you need some help in letting go of ‘the poop from the past’  join me for a VIP Day http://wendyfry.com/vip-day/ to spring clean your mind and get you back on track to living your life on purpose! Contact me at info@wendyfry.com www.wendyfry.com 

This post was inspired by Laveta Piemme one of the most awesome ladies I have the pleasure of being connected with http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/laveta-piemme Thank you Laveta for your sharing of new moon phenomena and guiding us back home to ourselves x

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14 Mar

A Mother’s Love

As Mother’s day approaches I know that for many of you this will bring up mixed emotions.

For some there will be love and a feeling of closeness and connection and for others perhaps a sense of loss or disconnect depending on the status of your relationship with your mum.

Both a good friend of mine and my dad lost their mothers when they were children.  I can only imagine how devastating this must have been to have learned of the death at such an early age and a relationship taken away before it was fully able to develop fully into adulthood.

We grieve not only the loss of a person physically, we also we grieve the relationship we never had and would have liked to have had.

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We are all born into the world by a mother.  We may have been planned, unplanned, wanted, unwanted and in some instances as I have found in my work with women there have also been occasions where intimacy has not been consented to, this also resulting in pregnancy.

Some of us may have been fortunate to grow up with mothers and experienced a sense of love, nurture and acceptance.  For others they may have been fostered, adopted or bought up in homes or orphanages.  For some of us, perhaps our grandparents or other family members bought us up and became the figure for a mother in our lives. We also need to consider step mothers too at whatever age they come into our lives as a ‘mother role’.

I’m not a mum so I speak from my own experience and those that my clients haves shared with me and I can only imagine how difficult motherhood can be at times and the range of emotions that go with it.

Many women have shared with me that they loose a ‘sense of self’, personal identity and ‘time to just be’ when they become a mum.  Others report not having the career they wanted or the life they wanted to live because of motherhood.  Many feel that their life is over rather than having a sense that life has just began as they bring new life into the world.

For me there have been times when I’ve turned to other’s for the love, support and acceptance I have needed growing up.  As a teenager I lived with my nan as things were fraught at home.

I feel like a big chunk of my life I have been chasing for a mother’s love that has not been available.  Can you relate to that at all?

There have been times when I’ve wanted to be held, comforted, soothed, listened to, encouraged, loved, cherished and told that I can achieve anything I want to because I am good enough, worthy, lovable, wanted.  For me this hasn’t been provided by the source I was seeking it from (my mother) and at the age of 48 I’ve gained the acceptance that this won’t change now.  Despite a child’s longing inside a grown woman for a love never truly given I’ve seen it for what it is and that’s the relationship we have in the shape that it is, however dysfunctional  that might be.

I now have an understanding that I wasn’t wanted, that my mother’s dreams of going into nursing were not fulfilled because of me, that my mother’s depression and lack of self belief all added to the melting pot of bringing a child into the world in a half hearted way. There is no blame here at all, it is what it is and I accept that children can make our lives better or worse. I do not regret knowing this, in fact it’s made me stronger and more determined in my life.  I am totally able to look after my own needs as an adult and you can too regardless of whether or not you have a mothers love.

Have you ever been told by your mum that she went along with having children as it was someone else’s idea? Have you been told that you weren’t wanted, an accident, a mistake?

How has having that knowledge shaped your life, your sense of self belief, your feeling of worth and love-ability?

Any emotions and feelings not acknowledged in childhood

I’ve worked with many people both male and female who have needed help understanding who they are, why they are here and how they can live their lives without their mothers love.  It’s such a delicate area to work in and it’s such a joy to see those that I support move on beyond feeling worthless and unwanted to gain a greater sense of self acceptance.

As animals we are adaptive creatures, we adapt to our environment and the people in it. I have learnt to adapt and seek nurture and love from different sources.  I have the most amazing friends who I know at the drop of a hat would be there for me in the middle of the night.  I have a love of nature that sooth’s and calms me.  I write a lot which gives me freedom of expression. I engage with others who are supportive of my goals and dreams.  Most of all I have learnt to love myself and to provide for myself the needs that I have.

What can you do for yourself that nurtures you?  Soothes you?  Comforts you? 

The little girl inside me has grown up, she looks through new eyes and knows that regardless of another person’s lack of love that they have their reasons why and that is their stuff, not mine.  That little girl now knows that who she is is lovable, worthy and whole just as she is.

You are that little girl or little boy and I promise you that whatever your past who you are is so worth loving.

Be sure to nurture and love the child inside you, she still exists

Where do you fit in when it comes to a mothers love?

  • Do you/did you have a happy and fulfilling relationship with your mum? 
  • What memories come to mind when you think of your mum.  Are they positive or negative memories?
  • Are you/were you able to be all of who you are with her?
  • Are you/were you loved, accepted and approved of?
  • Do you/did you feel heard, understood and respected in your relationship with her?
  • How often do you see or speak to your mum.  How do those conversations and meetings leave you feeling?
  • What would you change if you could  change anything in your relationship with you mum, past or present?
  • What have you been seeking that you have not found in your relationship with you mum?
  • Can you provide what you want/wanted from her for yourself and meet your own needs?
  • If you gave to yourself all of the love, approval and acceptance you have been seeking what would change?

Love is a funny thing and as adults we still seek our unmet needs from childhood, operating from the younger part of ourselves searching until we find what it is we want, often outside of ourselves and projecting those unmet needs onto others to fulfil.

When you understand the dynamics you have in relationships, not just with your mothers but other people too, you gain an understanding that regardless of how other people treat you that this is about them and not about you.

When you are able to meet your own needs and provide to yourself everything you need, if a relationship ends or is not fulfilling you as you wish it to,  you are still whole and complete, nothing is taken away from you because you have inside everything you will ever need.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  An opportunity to nurture yourself with tender loving care.

Today is gift.  Look forward to the future and create a life for yourself worth living.  

Look inside yourself for what you desire externally and you might surprise yourself that you have everything inside yourself that you will ever need.

If you ever wondered whether there was a limit pg 177

If you would like to talk over your own experience of difficult love relationships then please do make contact.  I specialise in working with women and children, helping you to get to the heart of your love and relationship problems. I work in person and also over Skype.

Find YOU, Find LOVE workshops are available monthly in Sutton, Surrey.  For dates and content of the workshop to get you back on track to finding you and finding love go to http://www.eventbrite.co.uk/o/wendy-fry-7394420133

My first book Find YOU, Find LOVE: Get to the heart of love and relationships using EFT is available on amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1910202460 

Visit www.wendyfry.com to download some free resources from the book alongside two audio downloads 21 Steps to Love and Standing in the Spotlight of Love

From my heart to yours with love

x Wendy

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07 Mar

Putting the L back into LOVE

Spring is a season of new beginnings, new growth and change. 

I wonder how many times you may have approached spring with a sense of excitement about the future or perhaps with a feeling of disdain that it’s another season of possibility and you are still where you were at a year ago and feeling like life is passing you by.

Change begins within first and foremost.  Unless you change then things will stay the same.

  • What do you need to change to put the L back into LOVE?
  • Does your current relationship need a spring clean?
  • Would you like to meet a new partner and soul mate?
  • If so what are you doing about it?

We get into bad habits, waiting for love to drop from the sky like a lightning bolt or expecting prince charming to bounding in on his horse down our local high street but I think that you and I know the odds of this are pretty unlikely.  As much as we would like change to happen for us, sometimes we need to get off our laurels and make that change.

The same way many birds may start building and feathering their nests this season we need to do the same.  Perhaps your nest needs an overhaul, a slight adapt ion, a different tree with a different view.  Do you even have a nest?

My writings might seem harsh though I’ve learnt the hard way that sitting back waiting for love to gallop up on a white charger is worse than washing paint dry or counting sheep.

Instead of waiting for love to come to you as if by a miracle, take action in finding love.

I for one did not wait for love to find me; I took action and let friends know that I was single and looking to meet a long term life partner.  I attended different events in different areas.  I joined several dating sites and became clearer on the type of person I was hoping to meet.  It was a learning curve with some funny stories along the way and every no was one step closer to a yes.

  • Is what you are currently doing getting the results you want in the love and relationship arena?
  • Have things gone stale in an existing relationship?
  • What do you want for the future?
  • How are you communicating your needs?
  • What actions are you taking to get you closer to your dreams?

When it comes to love don't be chicken blog post

 Here are my top tips for paving the way to love:

Repeat after me:

  • I take full responsibility for what I want in life and I am prepared to take action to get it
  • I act as if success is already mine
  • I make the right choices for me and I remember that I can keep changing my choices as and when I wish
  • I trust my intuition and let it be my guide
  • I am willing to take action and risks to achieve what I want
  • I have a positive attitude about myself and life in general
  • I take the initiative and use my assertiveness to make sure I achieve my goals
  • I act from a place of truth and integrity
  • I say yes to me
  • I commit to taking action to transform my love relationships

When you take responsibility and the necessary action towards achieving your dreams you will be surprised how every day can seem like spring.  New opportunities fall into your lap, hope rears its head from hibernation and the missing L in love is firmly back in place and exactly where it needs to be.

Shine your light on the things you want, focus on the things that lift you up, the things that bring you joy.  Focus on what you love.  You have ultimate control over your thoughts, guide them gently and get really clear about where you are heading, adjust your sails and let the light of your own faith in yourself never waiver, remember that you have everything inside you to weather any storm.

Take the first step in faith.  You don’t have to see the whole staircase.  Just take the first step – Martin Luther King Jr

Many of our relationships go wrong because we are living in the past, or have negative thoughts about the future of our relationships and we many never take the risk to love again. It’s relatively easy to work through this with the help of a skilled practitioner and if needed you can contact me if you would like some additional support info@wendyfry.com www.wendyfry.com

01 Mar

A Penny for Your Thoughts

There is an old fashioned saying ” A penny for your thoughts” Although no payment is received for giving your thoughts, they are listed to by the receiver asking you what’s up.  It’s just another way of asking what’s bothering a person or what they are thinking about.

Now imagine if your would, that each time you had a positive, loving and joyous thought pennies would be paid into your account or piggy bank.  There’s a school of thought that we think up to 70,000 thoughts in a day, imagine how rich you would be in just a short space of time if all those thoughts were kind, thoughtful, generous and loving.

We have 365 days in the year and on my calculator that’s £25,550,000 for starters.  Now some of you might be thinking about lack, and that you want a bigger investment sooner, well here’s the good news.

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Whether you believe it or not  ‘Universal Law’ has the biggest ears you’ve ever seen.  It hears every thought you think and every word you speak.  If you feel poor in love, in debt financially and down on your luck, Universal Law will keep on chucking at you more of the same and I think we both know what that feels like an it’s no fun at all.

If you want more than pennies deposited, make sure the thoughts you deposit out into the ether are as a rich as they possibly can be.

Change your thoughts to change your abundance.  This is The Law of Attraction.

  • Instead of thinking about lack think about and focus on abundance.
  • If you want more money notice the money you already have coming in and be grateful for it, respect it, appreciate it.  
  • If you want more love, notice the love that you already have in your life.  That could be the love from friends, family, pets, love of a hobby or being in nature.
  • If you want improved health be in gratitude for the parts of your body that are mobile, healthy, able.  
  • If you want more happiness do things that make you happy, live in the moment and notice what there is to appreciate from life. 

I feel better just typing this stuff because I know through experience that when you appreciate what you have and you are in gratitude for that, more of that lovely love, wealth and health will show up for you.

Change begins with a single thought!

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Just for fun….

Imagine that you had unlimited love, unlimited good health, unlimited financial abundance how would your life be different.  How would you be thinking, feeling and acting.   How would you spend your day, who with, what would be different about you and the people you mix with?

My belief is ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ and i have learnt over the years that your thinking can lift you up or keep you down.  Thoughts create feelings, feelings create actions or lack of actions, those actions create results, the results of your life right now.

So wherever you are at right now, consider just for a moment how rich in health, wealth, love and happiness you feel. If you want more than what you’ve got, you, yes YOU have the power to create those things for yourself.

Every day, think about the title of my blog and ”give me a penny for your thoughts” and catch yourself thinking.  Become an observer of your thoughts.  Do  your thoughts make you feel rich, vibrant, healthy, positive, joyous, loving?  If it’s a no, change the thought!.

Change your mindset and act as if you have unlimited health, wealth, love and happiness and keep thinking about those things until you feel the energy of those things moving through you. Empires are built with a single thought, I wonder what you can build today that your future self will thank you for?

Life is meant for living, laughing and loving.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  Make every penny count! 

If you need some help in reaching for the higher feeling thought and wish to increase your love, wealth, health and happiness account check out www.bepositive.me.uk I offer a range of tools and techniques to help you help yourself improve your thinking and improve your life.