31 May

When Time Stands Still

Time flies when you’re having fun it’s true!  Though when have you experienced time standing still?

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For me time stands still when I remember:

My first kiss…

The feeling of connection with someone special even in silence…

The joy in my heart for having loved…

Treasured snapshots of time captured in my mind, body and spirit…

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When you look back through the scrapbook of your mind when does time stand still for you?

Who were you with?

Where were you?

What were your predominant feelings?

How has that experience benefited you?

What would you do or say if you had that time over again?

Last night I had the pleasure of connecting with someone from my past.  We’ve been in contact for nearly 20 years, seldom meeting though the thread of happy memories and times spent together have remained strong.

Time stood still for me last night  It’s as though I really was that person from 20 years ago.  It was an amazing experience to once more enjoy the connection and bond between two people and be transported back to that time and talk about so many happy memories.

I know that some of you may not have the opportunity to re-connect in the physical world with a loved one from your past though I want you to know that energetically the connections to those that you have loved never die. It is my belief that when you think of them that they will know this and send love to you in return.

I invite you to reflect on the times you have loved and to know that whatever the outcome as William Arthur Ward would say…..

”To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To hope is to risk pain.

To try is to risk failure.

But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing” 

Arthur’s poem reminds us that we are powerful creators in our lives and we still have time to take risks.

I for one am going to take all these risks….

Would you care to join me? 

From my heart to yours with love,

Wendy x

If you would like some support in understanding love relationships.  I work in person in Sutton, Surrey UK and also over Skype internationally www.wendyfry.com

Spend the next 60 seconds to watch this amazing video  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAID_2iKO5Y

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23 May

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Have you ever laid on your back looking at the clouds?

Perhaps you’ve noticed shapes, patterns or even words written across the sky or simply lost track of time as the clouds pass by.

I was reminded yesterday of the phrase ‘every cloud has a silver lining’.  Even when things don’t seem to be going well and we don’t like the situation we are in, some good may come from it, yet to be revealed.

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As well as being an author a bigger part of my work is supporting others as an Emotional Health Consultant.  That may include working with people with physical pain too.

Yesterday my client came to me in physical and emotional pain.

I asked the following questions:

  • What is the gift in this situation?
  • How might this physical pain and injury actually be benefiting you? 
  • Since having this complaint, what have you stopped doing that you never enjoyed anyway?
  • What has this injury moved you away from that you are happy about?
  • What is it moving you towards that you want more of?
  • What is this injury giving you time for?

I ask a lot of open question in my work, some of the questions are frustrating and clients do get angry. They might shout and say ‘why would there be a gift in this, I hate having XYZ’.

Emotional and physical pain can be a touchy subject though asking these questions does bring clarity.

Sometimes a client might not know the answer straight away so I ask them to ponder the questions and either email me with the answers or share their learnings in our next appointment. It’s interesting to find out what their silver lining is.

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This reminds me of another client I worked with some time ago who didn’t like the question ‘what is the gift in this situation’, she shouted at me and rightly so, she was in chronic pain and had been for years with bouts of pain so bad she was debilitated for days on end.

She then emailed me a couple of months later to say I now have the answers to the questions you asked me.

This is a snapshot of what she said:

I’m sorry I shouted at you.  As much as I hated the questions I can now see that my body and the pain I was holding is in fact a gift.

The gift in this situation is my pain has stopped me going to work.  I now know now that I need to leave my stressful job and move away from the people in my workplace not respecting me or my time.  

I realise that a 3 hour commute each day is adding to my stress.  I hate working in London!

 

This pain is benefiting me as it’s actually laid me up in bed and given me time to think about what I want from life.

I want to live by the cost, in a small cottage and get a dog.  I want to be able to go on long walks with my dog and have time to live life and enjoy it. 

Since having this pain I have not been able to drive to see the people I have toxic relationships with.  It’s given me time to realise that I need to create new boundaries with family.  They weren’t respecting me and I wasn’t respecting myself.

This physical pain has helped me understand the emotional pain I’ve been holding onto from past events and given me an opportunity to work with you and get the right kind of help.

I’m pleased to say that this particular  young lady made contact last year to say she had moved to the coast.  Sent a picture of her adorable puppy.  She now has a new job which is walking distance and is living with a partner in a happy and harmonious relationship.

She is fit, active and only on occasional days when she does too much do the symptoms of chronic pain come back.  Se now has all the skills and resources to manage her pain through our work together.

So my questions to you are:

  • What are your silver linings?
  • How is the relationship you are in benefiting you? Or indeed if you are single what is the benefit of that?
  • The job that you do.  What is it stopping you from doing that you might be afraid of?
  • The physical or emotional pain you may be in.  How has this shaped your life and what do you want instead?
  • If you were free from the things that you don’t want and don’t like what might you have to do that scares you?
  • Now you know every cloud has a silver lining what can you do today that will support you in moving past your physical or emotional pain?

I have hundreds and hundreds of insightful questions that will help to bring clarity to your own personal situation.

I can share with you tools and techniques that put you back in control of your life.

If you’d like to work with me check out www.bepositive.me.uk Helping you to help yourself to live your life with purpose!

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17 May

Under the Same Sky

It’s fair to say. Waking up at dawn on a Sunday morning at silly o’clock when most normal folk might be sleeping in has its benefits.

Mornings are when I’m most productive. When my brain is the most creative and when I have the most energy so I’ve taken to waking up with the dawn chorus.

Laying in bed looking out across apricot skies, with tinges of turquoise and florescent greens I marvel at the beauty of nature.

I also wondered who might be coming in from a night out seeing the exact same sky or who may have been woken by a hungry baby or snoring husband, bleary eyed and in need of sleep.

It got me thinking that we all live under the same sky.

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The sky doesn’t belong to anyone, the moon or the sun come to that and at some point maybe you and I have looked at the same stars in wonder, shared the same sunset or indeed the same dawn chorus.

As you go about your day today, tomorrow, next week and all the months and years ahead take some time each day or night to look up at the sky and wonder who else might be doing the exact same thing.

Feel the connection that we share….

You are never alone…

Somewhere…

Someone…

Living under the same sky…

Is thinking of you

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I like it that you and I live under the same sky…

Knowing we are connected through time and space…

Two people with different parents…

Perhaps different nationalities…

Different values and beliefs…

Different hopes and fears…

Different goals and dreams…

We are not separated by these things.  We are connected together through something far greater than ourselves. 

May to September it’s curtains open for me and I naturally wake with the dawn.

Whether you are still sleeping or just waking up to the day….this is for you.

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Under the same sky, you and I.

From my heart you yours with love  x

Wendy

Wendy Fry author of Find YOU, Find LOVE: Get to the heart of love and relationships, available on amazon.

My website www.wendyfry.com offers a range of free love and relationship resources and audio downloads for you to enjoy.  Please do make contact if you would like to work with me in person I have a range of support programmes helping you to live your life with purpose!

09 May

Word Power

Words can harm and words can heal.  In fact words can and do influence our lives.

What we believe to be true because of something someone said may actually be stopping us moving forwards.

Other peoples words become our own internal dialogue that we confuse for our own.

That negative inner voice may criticise you, judge you, compare you and tell you you’re not good enough, worthy enough, capable enough or strong enough.  Worse than that, it may even call you names or swear at you.

Your voice made up of all the things you’ve ever heard is with you morning, noon and night, it can turn on the charm or pull the rug out from under your feet until you have a word with it and rein it in!

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Here are some words that I would like to ban that others frequently tell us that may have a negative connotation.

You can’t…

You don’t…

You should/shouldn’t…

You must/mustn’t…

You won’t…

You’ll never…

You ought to…

You need to…

You might like to copy out these statements and finish the sentences with the things that you have been told about yourself or what you want to achieve by ‘well meaning’ others.

Once completed rip it up into little pieces, stamp on it, burn it or make a paper air plane and send it off as far away from you as possible.

Change the limiting words you once heard into powerful, motivating and empowering statements instead!

YOU ARE A POWERFUL CREATOR!

I invite you to create powerful statements of your own finishing off the following statements:

I can…

I choose to…

I am…

I have…

I will…

I look forward to…

I love…

I create…

I know…

I enjoy…

I am a winner because…

 

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Take back your power! 

You are a winner!  

You can do anything you sent your mind to! 

Once you start to listen to your voice of encouragement you have the potential to transform your life.

You will be looking through new eyes, filtering for opportunity with a sense of hope and optimism of the future.

You will move to a place where anything is possible .

We can never quantify everything, sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith, find our wings and fly.

Allow the essence of who you are to flow through in your communications, listen to the internal voice of recognition, praise, support, acceptance, it’s there to guide you towards happiness.

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”Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another”Napoleon Hill

Want to know more about how to make your internal dialogue work for you using Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique and NLP?  Go to www.bepositive.me.uk and read about how others have changed their lives through the power of words!

 

 

03 May

Being or Doing?

Do you class yourself as a doer?

Someone who rarely sits still, always getting on with the next project, idea, theory.

Yep, me too, I can be like that ‘most of the time’

I’ve been practising ‘being’ instead of ‘doing’ today and I have to say…I’m loving it.

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As a self employed therapist and author I’m the boss, the cleaner, the admin assistant, the blogger, the post opener, the banker, the errand runner and the tea maker…the list of what I do on most days, including the weekends is pretty endless but I do it all with a loving heart purely because I love what I do and want to make a difference in the world in which we live.

I often set my clients ‘Home Play‘, which is really ‘Homework’ (don’t tell!)

I encourage them to ‘BE’ Instead of ‘DO’.

So today I practised what I preach. I took the day off from doing and just let myself be totally in the moment.

Sitting in sunlight, reading and listening to some relaxing music I simply let go of the doing, the striving the  achieving and allowed myself to submerge into stillness.

Having some valuable time out from thinking, ticking off lists, planning and ‘doing’ there is no greater medicine than this!

By being, I noticed so much more.

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The feeling of sunlight on my face…

The stir of a passing breeze in my hair…

The joy of living in this beautiful world…

The eloquent tunes of birdsong…

Blossom petals floating from a nearby tree…

Insects going about their work…

The world was alive with doing though I was simply being…

It’s as though time stood still…

It’s hard to describe what contentment means though for me this is as close as I can get…

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So are you a ‘doer’?  Nothing wrong with that.

I invite you to..simply be……

Tomorrow is a bank holiday in the UK.  It’s a whole beautiful day to BE!

86,000 seconds where you have the opportunity to simply live in the moment….

Please do let me know what you noticed by being, rather than doing.

There is so much to hear, see and feel when we stop doing and start being. 

For me ‘being’ today has fuelled my passion for life, living and loving.

Tomorrow isn’t promised.

Today…just ‘BE’ ….

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You’ll be glad you did. 

X From My heart to yours with love

Wendy

www.bepositive.me.uk

Helping you to help yourself live the rest of your life with purpose!