28 Sep

Fed Up With Waiting for Prince Charming?

How many times have you found yourself kissing frogs only to hope they will magically turn into Prince Charming?

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I don’t know about you, frogs are pretty cute though the idea of kissing one doesn’t really do it for me (prince or no prince)

As little girls we are often fed with the notion, love is dreamy and magical and handsome knights or Princes on white chargers are on their way to save us from towers, ginger bread houses, the back of the wardrobe, or better still to save us from ourselves….

Truth is, real life isn’t like this.

You’re more than likely to meet your ‘prince’ at the local bus stop, in a supermarket queue, servicing your car or if you’ve decided to take the ‘bull by the horns’ so to speak even on a dating site!

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Very much a creator of my own reality I encourage you to do the same!

Sleeping on twenty mattresses to check your worthiness, growing your hair long so someone can climb up it, asking the looking glass for help, really!, as lovely as those fairy stories are, we are women of the real world, with real needs, hopes, desires and dreams to fulfil.

So I dare you to take action in finding your prince!

Go to new places, let friends know the type of person you are looking to meet, join new groups, get yourself on a reputable dating site where the princes are looking for their Cinderella and will treat you like a princess.

So instead of waiting for the occasional stray frog, a fancy dress party in the hope of meeting a kindly knight, or wishing, wanting, hoping and dreaming your prince will magically find you, it’s time to strut your stuff and if the shoe fits, ever better!

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Need some help in getting yourself back out there in the world of dating?  

Not sure what to write to make your dating profile a success?

Want some help to regain confidence and self esteem before you take action? 

Step this way and bring your sparkly shoes with you http://www.wendyfry.com

Helping you to get to the heart of love and relationships minus the frogs!

 

21 Sep

Body Talk: Using the power of words to heal

Your body is amazing!

Right now without even having to think about it you are breathing, your blood is pumping round your body, your heart is beating, you may have blinked several times.

Perhaps you are sitting down as you read this, knees bent, back and bottom supported, eyes reading the words and your mind making sense of their meaning.

All without having the think about it!

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On Friday I went in for a minor knee op called an Arthroscopy to ‘trim up’ a damaged cartridge using keyhole surgery.

I’d heard good and bad stories from people about what to expect and with thanks for their input I decided to set my own intention for the op telling myself that I would recover well and be back on my feet in just a few days.

Despite my osteopath telling me I’d be on crutches for 2 weeks, others telling me I’d be in excruciating pain and all sorts of other horror stories about anaesthetic the whole process was smooth running.

While I waited for the op, there were several other woman all worried about having the same procedure, one close to tears and extremely anxious.

So in conversation before they went down for their procedures, I planted some healing word seeds.

  • ”You will be surprised at how quick your body will heal”
  • ”Every day, in every way, you will feel better and better”
  • ”Having this op will bring you so many benefits”
  • ”While you are resting your body repairs itself even while you’re sleeping”
  • ”In less than a few days you’ll be able to move about much more easily than expected”
  • ”Your body is amazing and will adapt well to the changes made”

I was the last one to go down and it was good to see these ladies going off looking and feeling brighter than they did before.

In hypnosis we call this type of pre framing, ‘post hypnotic response‘.  It’s possible using words like this even in a waking state to influence a positive outcome.

Words have power and your body hears everything you think!

Always one to walk my talk, yesterday just a day after the op, I got myself up and walking, gently and sensibly, I did my post surgery exercises, and took a natural supplement for pain relief and inflammation reduction (Turmeric) with lemon water, a natural antiseptic deciding not to go for the prescribed meds.

I’m not quite doing cartwheels at the moment though I know in no time at all I will be back to the level of fitness I was before if not more so.

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My mind is willing and I know my body will follow the post conditioned response.

”Every day in every way I will get better and better”

I’ve realised as I’m approaching that fifty age mark in the not too distant future,  I’ve been a little guilty for taking my body for granted.

So from now on, when I write my daily gratitude journal there will be some credits going in for my amazing body and it’s inner intelligence to heal.

Thank you for joining me over the coming days and weeks ahead in practising gratitude to give thanks to your own amazing body.

Take nothing for granted!

Your body is amazing, it hears every word you speak.  Send it some love, thanks and appreciation for all that it does for you Including the ability to read this blog!

Body Talk: Use the power of your own words to heal!

If you need some help in being more positive about future outcomes please do make contact: http://www.bepositive.me.uk

I look forward to teaching you new ways of thinking, sharing transformational techniques, to release the past and create a future full of renewed confidence, self belief and love!

 

 

 

 

 

14 Sep

Seeing is Believing!

Beliefs are nothing more than empowering or limiting thoughts.

The beliefs we choose to give our attention to, guide our actions, behaviours and circumstances.

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We store information through our senses (seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and tasting)

Our perceptions of events, people and the world at large form beliefs that may not even be true.

Our core beliefs were developed at a time when we were children, when we had minimal ability to reason and think rationally for ourselves. The beliefs that were handed down to us were formed by our parents, mentors, teachers, environment and culture.

Core beliefs form the picture we paint of ourselves, a portrait of our own abilities, our worth, flaws, strengths and our relationships with others and with the world. Our beliefs establish the limits of what we think we can, or can’t, achieve.

We behave in ways consistent with our beliefs and values. Our beliefs impact on much of what we do, the thoughts we think, our feelings and our physical symptoms. We delete, distort and generalise information by forming an intricate filter of opinions, emotions and memories and we only notice what we think supports the existing belief.

Our thoughts, assumptions and beliefs influence the way that we feel and what we choose to do.

A limiting belief is a thought, or series of thoughts, that stop us from moving forwards in life.

Limiting beliefs could be based on past personal experiences or through witnessing the experiences of others. Limiting beliefs also shape the form of our thought patterns, including irrational thinking.

We all, at some point, experience limiting beliefs. Until we examine what it is we believe and change any limiting beliefs to a more empowering belief, we are often stuck in the prison of our own thinking.

Beliefs have the potential to be changed by cultivating awareness; we can choose what it is we want to believe.

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Challenging a limiting belief with awareness, effective questioning and using The Spotlight Process and EFT, may seriously improve a person’s sense of self worth, reduce fear, improve confidence, improve communication (internal and external dialogues) and open up all sorts of new and exciting possibilities.

What are your limiting beliefs?

Measuring Limiting Beliefs using The VoC Scale (Validity of Cognition)

To measure the how true a limiting belief may be for you there is a scale called The Validity of Cognition (VoC) Scale which is an individualised measure of beliefs, developed by Francine Shapiro.

Use the VOC scale to check the percentage of your current self limiting beliefs rating them from a 0 when you have no belief at all and 100 when the belief feels completely true for you.

Read through the list below using the Voc Scale to identify which limiting beliefs are true for you. Fill in the blanks where appropriate and add your own limiting beliefs

• Fear of not being good enough
• Fear of not being loved
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of separation or loss 
• Fear of failure
• Fear of being controlled by another
• Fear of success
• I don’t deserve xyz…..
• I am not worthy of xyz…..
• I’m not lovable
• I’m too……..
• I’m not…..
• I won’t be able to…..
• It’s impossible
• I can’t…..
• Something bad will happen if I…..
• What if it doesn’t work out?
• What if I get hurt?
• What if I lose…..?

Part of the process of changing limiting beliefs is cultivating awareness, so that we can distinguish the difference between:

• What we’d like to believe
• What we think we should believe
• What we truly believe.

It is often our limited and negative thinking that holds us back from the things that we seek. Beliefs are often so unconscious that we seldom question them.

With effective self questioning, taking into account:

• When the belief was formed
• Whose belief it is
• If that belief limits us or allows us to grow
• If the beliefs we hold are still appropriate for us

In order to change a limiting belief we need to change the internal picture, meaning and representation that we have of ourselves, of others and about the world around us, so that over time, our creative subconscious mind recognises new pictures, new meanings and beliefs as a new reality and filters from a different perspective.

Instead of looking through dirty windows at the same dirt, we notice things we never saw or experienced before.

Changing our beliefs offers a renewed sense of freedom and there is a willingness to take new risks once we decide to look at the world through new windows.

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Joking aside, I would like to remind you of some old, outdated, beliefs that you may have moved on from already:

  • Father Christmas
  • The Tooth Fairy
  • Monsters under the bed
  • Fairy tales and other stories

If you’d like to understand your beliefs at a deeper level and how they may be negatively influencing your life Find YOU, Find LOVE offers you a range of tools and techniques to support you in working through the things that are holding you back from achieving what you want from life.

When you are ready to work with me in person and experience a VIP Day please do make contact.  I look forward to hearing from you and helping you to help yourself.  Teaching you new ways of thinking, sharing transformational techniques, to release the past and create a future full of renewed confidence, self belief and love!

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07 Sep

The Hidden Meanings of Dreams

Did you know, your dreams can offer so much insight into resolving problems as well as achieving goals?

Recently I discovered the power of my own dreams and how to use dream time to it’s best advantage.

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Our minds are amazing, used wisely, spending a little time each day recording your dreams and beginning to understand your subconscious messages, no longer do we need to try and resolve a problem consciously, our dreams can do that for us.

~ How often do you have a reoccurring dream?

~ What percentage of your dreams are random and make no sense at all?

~ On waking and remembering a dream how often do you experience the left over feelings of the dream and feel like it’s actually happened?

~ When do you experience nightmares or bad dreams that seem so real you become anxious about sleep?

~ Do you have dreams that seem impossible to comprehend? 

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Fear not, dreams are a gateway to learning…. 

If you are experiencing nightmares, a regular dream theme or even random dreams, all can be understood using simple processes.

If you want to resolve a problem and work towards an outcome which is desirable for you, you can set a dream intention asking your Higher Mind (often known as Higher Conscious Mind) to send a message to you unconscious mind which encodes the message in words, pictures or symbols.  Your conscious mind can then interpret the meaning of the message.

You can easily begin to understand how dream time might offer you an understanding how to resolve a problem in your life right now, or indeed a left over problem from the past that might need clearing.

Dreams also guide you as to what the next steps in your life might be and the actions you can take to achieve your goals and purpose.

You may experience your dreams in visions, symbols, words, even smell and taste can be experienced in dreams.  I know many of mine have seemed very real, others seem to flit from my mind in seconds.

Dreams can help you achieve your physical dreams.  If there is something you want to achieve in the future, perhaps you have an event coming up that you will be speaking at, sitting an exam or a test, perhaps you want to know if a relationship is right for you or what to do next in your career.

Dream time and the dreams you dream will offer insights to you, helping you to take action away from a problem or towards achieving your goals. Dream time will also support you in answering questions you may have been trying to find solutions to at a conscious level.

Amazing isn’t it that we can work all these things out while sleeping by simply handing over the working outs to our higher minds.

If you’d like to understand your dreams, my best advice is to use a dream journal and become curious as to what you can learn from them.

Whether you wake in the middle of the night and remember a dream or if you find yourself waking and remembering dreams, begin to make simple notes of what you saw, heard, felt and experienced in your dream.

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I propose to offer some Analysing Your Dreams workshops later on this year and can also offer one to one dream interpretations, working with you and guiding you so YOU understand the meaning of YOUR dreams.

Using some great techniques which I will keep as a surprise for now you can speak directly with your subconscious mind, set dream intentions and became the expert in analysing your dreams!

Your dreams aren’t for me to analyse, I can teach you to do that for yourself and then you will have everything you need to find out the hidden meaning of your dreams. 

If you’d like to find out more please sign up and follow this blog for new posts about dream-time, workshops and future offerings or contact me direct at info@wendyfry.com

Dreams are today’s answers to tomorrows questions ~ Edgar Cayce

 

01 Sep

Why saying no might be the best thing you’ve ever done!

How often do you find yourself agreeing to things when inside you’re screaming NO!

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Who do you find yourself saying yes to, when you already know you’re going to feel resentful about doing what’s asked of you?

When do you put others needs ahead of your own only to suffer the consequences of stress, anger, self sacrifice or burnout? 

What stops you speaking your truth and stating, what’s asked of you isn’t possible?

Saying NO, those two little letters and one short word has so much stigma attached to it.

Rather than thinking about ‘The Power of Now’, which by the way is a great read, The Power of NO, really could be a best seller if we each got a little more used to speaking our truth and saying no instead of yes!

If you’ve been feeling put on, there is no need to go into fight mode with guns a blazing, or have an out and our war with someone who places unfair demands on you, saying no can be done diplomatically and with care.

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Perhaps many of you like myself were bought up to think of others first, not to be selfish, not to say what you mean and mean what you say but to be polite and be a yes person!

For me, being a yes person has felt like the equivalent of being a nodding dog (those cute little plastic dogs with heads that nod up and down as the car moves) There is only so much nodding you can do until overwhelm reaches peak and you take time to stop and smell the roses, realising that something has to change!

All change is good, it may not be evident at first as to what positive changes might come as a result of saying no, though at least you will be speaking your truth and being true to you!

It only takes one person to change a behaviour and saying no when you’d normally say yes will be the behaviour change that makes a difference to you!

Speaking honestly may take strength and courage if your behaviour and interactions have always been to give to others, though unless you change how you respond to other peoples demands, the situation won’t change.

There are many ways to make a change and this is best done when you’re feeling calm.

You might consider sitting and speaking with that person. scheduling in a call, or writing a letter that you sleep on before posting.

Shouting your head of in the heat of the moment seldom creates a positive benefit though speaking with clear communication about how you feel is always a good start.

  • Who would you really like to tell that what is being asked of you is too much?
  • What frustrations have you been keeping to yourself that you’d really like to air?
  • In what way do you personally suffer as a result of continually saying yes to a certain person?
  • How has this pattern of responding to others needs before your own shaped your life? 
  • When is the problem at it’s worst?
  • What changes do you want to make in order to improve your relationship with this person?
  • How can you communicate what you want to say in a way that’s non blaming (remember you have willingly or unwittingly been feeding a dual behaviour)
  • What do you hope to gain by having the conversation (be clear of the outcome)

For me saying no to others means saying yes to me! And that’s called ‘Self care’ not selfish! 

If someone is constantly asking you to give up your time when you have a million others things to do, simply say ‘it’s not possible for me to help you, perhaps there is someone else you can ask’

When you really don’t want to do something an easy answer might be ‘that’s not my thing, though I hope you enjoy it’

If others ask for free advice and information you can point them in the direction of the people you invested in to elevate your own success.

When family or friends call in the middle of supper or as your climbing into bed with a drama they want to share, let them know ‘now isn’t a good time’.

Set boundaries with those who you feel are taking advantage of you.  Let those who don’t respect you know you have your own life, your own goals to achieve and your own plans.

It might hurt them when you say no but that’s really about them not getting their own way and nothing to do with you.

Saying no doesn’t mean you’re being nasty, uncaring or selfish, it simply means you’re being real and letting others know what is and isn’t okay for you.

You no longer need to be weighed down or overwhelmed with demands being made on you.

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When you set boundaries, you have an opportunity to improve relationships, or perhaps the person will move on making demands on others if you’re not available.

Friendships might end and relationship dynamics might change though you will be able to see how you have only been in that person’s life to fulfil their needs.

The way forward……

  • Re-affirm with others the dates and times you might be free to help them out
  • Voice what is okay and not okay for you
  • Let the people who are close to you know you love them, though you have some projects on the go and won’t be so immediately available to them 
  • Communicate as far as possible with love and positive intention expressing the outcome you would like
  • If a parent is ageing and you’re not available to do odd jobs and help out, work towards finding a solution and hiring help so you spend quality time together
  • When you find yourself on constant baby sitting duty at weekends and you want to be out enjoying yourself, let those you love know you will be free the last weekend of the month not every weekend
  • If your workload is building up schedule some time to speak with your manager, ask for help in prioritising what’s urgent, non urgent or can be passed to someone else
  • Catch yourself when you are about to say yes.  Create some holding space and say ‘I’ll think about it’, or ‘I don’t feel I’m the right person for this’, ‘it’s not convenient right now’ etc

There will always be someone else who can help out, it doesn’t all have to fall on your shoulders, unless you want it to.

My advise is if you’re doing anything resentfully and without love, have that conversation.

Share your truth, how you feel and what resolution you would like to work towards.

You never know…by saying NO!  You may well improve your relationships tenfold. 

If you need some help in working through setting boundaries in love or platonic relationships check out my book Find YOU, Find LOVE: Get to the heart of love and relationships using EFT

You might like to work with me on a VIP Day where you will have the opportunity to discuss why saying No in your relationships will improve the relationship with yourself.  We will work together to make the rest of your life the very best of your life.

Remember The Power of NO!

Let your yes be yes and your no be no NOW!

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