28 Dec

Creating Possibilities through Heart Centred Connection

If you ever wondered what heart centred connection is, I’m about to share with you some beautiful exercises to get you into your heart and out of your head.

Free Heart: The needs of the heart

It is always possible to be more loving towards ourselves, once we know what our needs are.  When we are able to meet those needs independently, we take control of our lives.

When we open our hearts and give love to ourselves, then and only then can we love and honour others and be open to receiving love.

When we are able to experience love from within without being dependent on another for love, we gain a new sense of strength and optimism.

One question I often ask myself is ‘what does my heart need right now?’ Just asking yourself this question on a regular basis tips the balance and brings head and heart into equal position.

Trust your own instincts, go inside, and follow your heart.  Right from the start.  Go ahead and stand up for what you believe in. As I’ve learned, that is the path to happiness – Lesley Ann Warren

Heart Centred Connection Exercise: What does my heart need?

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Ask yourself ‘’what does my heart need right now?’’ and notice how it answers.

Does your heart connect with you through feelings, words, pictures or a combination of these things?

Often there is an intuitive knowing of what the heart needs ‘you just know’ without necessarily being aware of how you know.

Being aware of your own needs and how you can meet them for yourself is a huge turning point in getting out of your head and into your heart.

Consider your unmet needs from childhood; it is never too late to meet those needs now as an adult.

Sometimes, we lose connection with our hearts.  We go into our heads looking outside of our hearts for love, instead of looking within.

This exercise will lead you back to heart centred connection.

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Copy out the picture of heart quadrant in a journal or on pieces of paper (or go to www.wendyfry.com to download a larger version)

Write or draw symbols or pictures inside your heart shaped flower petals of what your heart does in fact need.

Write inside as many of these heart shaped flowers as you can, all the choices, affirmations, loving statements and acknowledgements that make you feel loving and lovable.

For example: peace, love, acceptance, joy, laughter, growth, creativity, expression, love,  freedom.

Each and every one of us has different needs of the heart.  Record whatever comes up for you when you connect with your heart space.

Trust the answers that it gives you without judgement or analysis.

Completing this exercise daily on waking and sleeping as well as throughout the day if you are able to will have a dramatic effect on your sense of feeling grounded and connected with your heart and your highest truth.

Consider how you may be able to meet each of your hearts needs.  For example when I want to experience freedom I go for a walk.  When I want to experience joy I watch a funny movie.  For creative expression I write or draw.

There are so many ways each of us can meet our hearts needs independently.

A loving heart is the truest wisdom – Charles Dickens

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Practical Exercise: Creating possibilities through heart centred connection

Complete the following statements in a journal.

Speak these positive statements out loud, or inside your own head adding your own answers into the blend

  • I love seeing myself…

Example:   I love seeing myself confident and happy in any situation

 

  • I love feeling…

Example:   I love feeling of being connected to myself and others through my heart

 

  • I love hearing…

Example:  I love hearing the positive voice inside my heart

 

  • I love knowing…

Example: I love knowing that through heart centred connection my life will be rich and full

 

  • I am aware of…

Example: I am aware of my hearts needs and communicate those needs effectively

 

There is no instinct like that of the heart – Lord Byron

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Mantras of the Heart Exercise

Creating daily mantras and repeating them out loud as well via your internal dialogue will raise your love vibration and heart connection

Please use these as your mantras as your own, adapt or create alternatives which may be more personal to you.

  • I accept myself today
  • I love myself just as I am
  • I think and speak positively about myself from my heart
  • I deserve love
  • I open my heart to love
  • I attract love easily and effortlessly
  • I am willing to receive love
  • I give love with a good heart
  • I nurture myself and my needs
  • I choose to do something thoughtful and deserving for myself every day
  • I am surrounded by love
  • As I move throughout my day I choose to interact with others from the love that is within me
  • I seek for the opportunity to notice love in every experience
  • I am grateful for each loving experience
  • I choose love in my life every day
  • I am love

Your heart is full of fertile seeds, waiting to sprout – Morihei Ueshiba

 

 

Communicating the hearts needs in relationships

Hands, hearts sky

We can communicate our needs to others as part of a loving and equal relationship, though if our needs are not met by another, we still feel empowered by speaking up and being true to ourselves.

If we are consistently honest with ourselves and others about our needs, we no longer feel dis-empowered.

There is no hidden neediness below the surface, you voice your thoughts and feelings assertively knowing that if those needs aren’t met by others you can are still loveable and whole.

Others are not responsible for our happiness, we are.

As we move closer to the new year, now is the time to reflect on the year gone by and ask yourself what your heart needs for 2016.

It is my wish for you that you experience your hearts needs today and every day.

From my heart to yours, with love,

X Wendy

P.S…My first book Find YOU Find LOVE  is available at a reduced price for January in kindle format.  Happy Reading!

21 Dec

Christmas Frazzle or Christmas Cheer ~ It’s up to you…

Dreading Christmas? 

What’s worse, the thought of endless cooking and washing up or spending time with your ‘Out Law’s

It’s all to easy at this time of year to become frazzled, overwhelmed with doing and little time for being.

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Running round like a headless chicken trying to get the best turkey, stressing out as you stand in queues to pay with feet aching, busting for the toilet and your arms feel like they’re hanging off, it definitely is a case of ‘bah humbug’ and the Christmas spirit far from cheerful.

Often you get what you expect….

If you are anticipating problems getting things done, expecting grief from your in laws, the turkey getting burnt, relatives arguing or worse still fighting, what is this based on?

Often we project the past into the future experting the same thing to happen again and this is what we get.  My previous post Thought Tracking will help with this and aid for a peaceful day.

I invite you to make some you time in amongst the wrapping of presents and trying not to open the sweets you bought for Aunty Joan to have a little mind holiday called…

‘My Ideal Day’christmas-993287_1280 (2)

‘My Ideal Day’ is a creative way to get you thinking in a more positive and optimistic way from the heart.

It will move you beyond the anticipated  stress of Christmas, to a place where all things are possible, encouraging you to enjoy your day coming from the heart instead of the head.

When you focus on what you want and act as if it is already yours, it is likely to show up much sooner than you think.

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye – H. Jackson, Jr.

On a brand new sheet of paper or in a journal, write a story about how you want your Christmas Day to be. If you don’t have a pen and paper to hand, just think it through as if you were creating an anticipated and very positive movie about how your Christmas day will shape up.

This will be no ordinary day (remember you are putting the past behind you) it will be the story of your ideal Christmas Day and how it will be when everything goes swimmingly- think specifically here about your current relationships and family dynamics and who you would like to get on better with and include that in the main content of your writing.

You will be writing this in the positive, present tense, as if what you want has already come to pass and you are enjoying your life and relationships.

  • What will your day look like?
  • What will be happening?
  • How will you be feeling?
  • What will you hear going on around you?
  • How will you be spending your time?
  • How will you be thinking differently?

Take time to go over your story, making sure it’s complete and then read your story every day in the lead up to Christmas.

By focusing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want and getting into the energy space of the heart and acting as if having the ideal Christmas day.

If you need some extra help in understanding how your beliefs shape your future or you want to get clearer on how you want Christmas day to be.  You can download for free ‘Beliefs’ chapter three, from my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE at www.wendyfry.com/book/resources along with ‘The Do Want/Don’t Want’ exercise.

There are also two free audio’s for you to download 21 Steps to LOVE  and Standing in the Spotlight of LOVE

Keep love in your heart.  A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead – Oscar Wilde

Here’s to plenty of Christmas cheer!

From my heart to your with love,

Wendy x 

14 Dec

Thought Tracking

Our thoughts are powerful creators….

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It’s natural to have both positive and negative thoughts, it’s part of life and learning.  Though consider how much of your time and energy is taken up with negative thinking?

Power Exercise – Thought Tracking: Use daily as often as possible through the day

For the next few days, observe how many of your thoughts are critical and in judgemental.  Thoughts that come from the head, rather than the heart.

For every critical thought you have, replace it with an alternative thought until you can respond to yourself or other people and situations in more loving way.

When you are angry at someone it’s you that feels the anger in your body, not them.  When you are frustrated and stressed it’s you that suffers the symptoms of stress.  If there is hatred, this too is experienced physically by YOU, no one else suffers as a result of your thinking, only YOU.

Ask yourself ‘does this thought give me peace or does it give me stress?’

Be aware of the thoughts, always reach for a higher feeling thought to be sure YOU have a great day every day.

Use your thoughts to work for you, not against you and notice what changes when you use the power of your thoughts.

You might like to read though this excerpt from my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE, to identify where your thinking may be going into the negative:

Read through and record how many of the automatic negative thoughts you identify with.  In doing so you will become aware of how many of your thoughts are automatic negative thoughts and how these might be limiting the very think you want to achieve.

Automatic Negative Thought Meaning
Mind reading Assume that you know what people are thinking
Fortune telling Predicting the future in a negative way
Judging View yourself/others/events  in terms of good/bad
Labelling Giving global negative meanings about yourself and others
Ignoring the positives Positive things aren’t recognised or seem trivial
Blowing things out of scale Believe that what will happen will be unbearable
Personalising Assume self blame for negative events
Over generalising See a global pattern of negatives based on a single event
‘Should’s’ Seeing people and events as to how you think they ‘should’ be
Negative filtering Focus on the negative, ignoring the positive
Focusing on regrets Focus on the idea that you should have done better in the past
Emotional reasoning Allowing your feelings to guide your perception of reality
‘What if’ thinking Thinking about all the things that could go wrong
All or nothing thinking Black and white thinking/ only good or bad- no in between
Blaming Focusing on others as a source of your negative feelings
Unfair comparisons Focus on others who you perceive are doing better than you
Inability to disconfirm Reject any evidence that might contradict your negative thoughts

It’s time to change your thinking….

No one ‘thinks you’ that is the one thing that you do have control over.  

Use the following twelve steps to bring your thoughts back into balance every time you recognise yourself going into automatic negative thinking about love and relationships.  Copy out these statements and carry with you until the questioning becomes part of your natural thought process to bring yourself back each time you go into a story.

1 Am I confusing thought with fact?
2 Am I predicting the future negatively?
3 Am I jumping to conclusions?
4 Am I assuming I can do nothing to change my situation?
5 Am I overestimating the chance of disaster?
6 Am I thinking in all or nothing terms?
7 Am I only paying attention to the negative side of things?
8 Am I telling myself I’m not lovable because of things that have happened in my past?
9 Am I focusing on my weaknesses and forgetting my strengths?
10 What are the advantages and disadvantages of thinking this way?
11 Do my negative thoughts help or hinder me?
12 If I bring balance to my thinking, what would love do here?

Our thoughts can create many negative experiences, or many positive experiences; it’s all down to the meaning and the beliefs and perceptions we place on things.

If you need some help in leaving the past behind you, moving beyond limited thinking, working through anger, grief and despair or simply want to manage your emotions take a look at my support programmes and packages.

From my heart to yours with love,

x Wendy

06 Dec

Shaping Your Future with Love

Following on from last weeks blog Get out of your head and into your heart, this week we explore…

Shaping Your Future with Love

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I encourage you to reflect on the following points, to make your future the best it can be.

Ask yourself-

• What do I need to stop thinking about that holds me back from achieving my personal and business goals?

• What do I need to start doing to be more connected with my heart?

• What do I need to do differently to improve my mindset?

• What can I commit to right now that will move me forwards in the direction of my dreams?

Be aware of the thoughts, actions and behaviours which will take you closer to your dreams and then go get ’em!

Communicating the Hearts Needs

Beauty Sexy Lips with Heart Shape paint. Love Concept. Kiss

The first step to understanding if you react and respond to life from your head or heart will be to monitor your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviours.

Thoughts create an energetic response in your body.

Noticing what you say to yourself and how his affects you physically as well as emotionally will offer insights into how powerful your thought process is.

Becoming an observer of your thoughts without attaching to them offers you an opportunity to move from head based thinking to heart based feeling.

This is not about criticising yourself for thinking from your head or to berate yourself.  The exercises in this section are designed for you to be very gentle and loving with yourself until you are able to master the art of heart based feeling.

Spend time noticing the content of the chatter in your mind and remind yourself ‘’I am not my thoughts’’.

Not judging yourself as having a thought being right or wrong, simply notice the content of the thought, acknowledging it in the same way you might notice clouds passing across a blue sky.

Catching your thinking and noticing how you are responding and reacting, without labelling yourself as ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

Over time, you will be able to reassure yourself that you are in fact just having thoughts.

Your thoughts are not always fact they are often imaginings of the mind.

Spending time thinking about your thoughts may not be something we normally do, though it will help to always ask yourself as you go about your day reacting and responding to people and events ‘Am I in my head or my heart?’

Recognising the early warning signs that you’re reacting from your head

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Your body is always your best advisor, it responds to your internal dialogue of thoughts and words created in the head.

Listen to your body and you will learn so much about yourself and how you react to different things.

By listening to your body, you will start to notice more and more how your body reacts energetically to internal thoughts and to external events, people and situations depending if you react and respond from head or heart.

You will either feel low negative energy or high energetic vibrations depending on what you are thinking about and reacting to.

Become aware of how your body reflects your thoughts and feelings and using that awareness to bring balance to your thinking which will, in turn, bring balance to your emotions and overall wellbeing when you can move from head to heart.

As you go throughout your day, notice the words you use inside your mind which brings you and your energy down.  These are often head based thoughts that you have attached a story or negative outcome to.

Here are some examples of head based thoughts that create low energy. 

When we tell yourself these things over and over you limit yourself and this creates a negative cycle and physical response that is far from motivating.

Heart based creating is very different feeling, it allows for a different kind of energy experience.

 

Head Based Thinking

 

Sleepy Tired
Apathetic Bored
Isolated Lonely
Inferior Depressed
Stupid Ashamed
Remorseful Guilty
Distant Hurt
Sarcastic Hostile
Frustrated Angry
Jealous Selfish
Irritated Hateful
Sceptical Critical
Bewildered Confused
Discouraged Rejected
Insignificant Helpless
Inadequate Submissive
Embarrassed Insecure
Overwhelmed Anxious
 

Heart Based Feeling

 

Relaxed Content
Responsive Intimate
Serene Loving
Secure Trusting
Thankful Nurturing
Confident Faithful
Valuable Appreciated
Worthwhile Respected
Successful Proud
Surprised Aware
Optimistic Hopeful
Playful Creative
Amused Cheerful
Stimulating Energetic
Fascinating Sensuous
Daring Excited

 

  • After reading through and getting a better understanding if you have been reacting from the head or heart which has been the most common way of responding for you up to now?
  • Which way of reacting to life do you prefer?
  • What difference do you notice physically when you alternate between head and heart?

Our thoughts influence our energetic vibration and being aware of this now, I feel sure that you will be more self aware in the future of when your thoughts limit you in some way.

The good news is it’s possible to bring our thoughts into check and re address the balance between head and heart.

Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but every morning I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying to myself ‘It’s going to be a good day’ – Lindsay Lohan

I hope you enjoy my weekly blog, on life, love and living.  Please share the love by sharing the blog post if you would like to, thank you.

From my heart to yours,

With Love,

x Wendy