30 Dec

End of Year Reflections

I invite you to use this end of year reflection exercise taking stock of your year so far. The lessons that you’ve learnt about yourself, other people and the world around you.

There may have been some painful parts to 2016, though with learning often the unpleasant situations are our greatest gifts and create positive change and new beginnings in our lives.

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You might like to copy out the questions in a journal and work through them one by one.

2016 Reflections 

• Reflecting back on 2016, what happened month by month?
• What did you really love about 2016?
• What were your magic and special moments?
• What made you smile?
• What made you cry?
• What happened in 2016 that you would rather not go through again?
• What experiences have you been through that you did not enjoy and what did you learn from those experiences?
• What do you need to change? What do you need to start doing, stop doing or do differently? (This can be related to how you spend your time, who you spend time with, your health, and your income, your sense of self, your relationships and any other aspect of your life)
• What important lessons did you learn about yourself; people in general, your body, your work, your family, your relationships, your sense of fulfilment and accomplishment?
• What do you want for 2017? (Answer in the positive tense-no don’t wants’ allowed!)
• What are you committed to achieving?
• What is the most important skill that you want to either further develop or master within yourself?
• What changes and actions are you committed to making in your life?
• What do you need to do in 2017 to get you to be where you want to be?
• If 2016 was a tough year for you so far, how can you use your learning to your best advantage to make next year even better?
• What are you committed to?
• What can you achieve in the next twelve months with focused attention?
• Who were you when you started 2016 and who are you now?
• Who are you becoming?
• What else is possible for you?
I hope that you enjoy completing your end of year reflections. After working through you might like to reread and write up separately your goals and action steps to make 2017 your best year yet!

Set your goals high and don’t stop till you get there! – Bo Jackson

26 Dec

You’ve got to have Faith

Different things inspire me and today in light of the sad news of George Michael passing away it made me think back to my favourite song of George’s, ‘Faith’

I see George as a man who followed his inspirations, his passion and his heart and it got me thinking and wondering about how many of us have faith in ourselves, what we do and what we strive for.

George in a round about way taught me about expressing emotions, singing, dancing and being a warm and loving presence. He was a man who could draw a crowd in a good way. Respected, admired and for many cherished.

Today I am going to ponder on the things I want for my future and the legacy I wish to leave behind.  I invite you to do the same by asking yourself the following questions:

If you knew you could not fail, what would you do that you’re not currently doing?

What is your mission statement when you think about keeping unfailing faith in your abilities to achieve what you want?

What gifts (skills, attributes, words of affirmation etc) can you share with others to help them on their own personal journey’s?

When it comes to the end of your life, how do you want people to remember you?

What is the greatest legacy you can leave behind?  (please be aware a legacy is not always a monetary gain or property)  

Thank you George for inspiring me today in writing this blog post and for being the difference who made a difference.

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”Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark” – Tagore

18 Dec

Staying Sane at Christmas

Christmas for many can be a happy occasion but for others it’s a stressful time of year.

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The classic saying ‘let bygones be bygones’ is often easier said than done.

If your thoughts are on all the things that could go wrong over the festive season guaranteed having the expectation will bring more of the same.

The thing is – you don’t have to do what you’ve always done, you don’t have to think how you’re always thought and you don’t have to act and behave in ways which aren’t helpful to you or anyone else.

It’s natural that we may want to protect ourselves from criticism, the judgement of others, expected arguments and the continuation of a family feud but in reality it can be so different.

Just one small change needs to be made and that change begins with you.

Instead of thinking about what you don’t want, focus on the most positive outcome possible then hold the vision and trust the process that this too will come to pass.

The Spotlight Process will help you to stay sane at Christmas enormously.

You might like to copy out and carry around these questions until they become familiar in your thought pattern.  Instead of responding in the old way, begin afresh by exploring the meaning and beliefs you are placing on an event, experience or in relation to the person you are in conflict with.

1. Where is my thinking right now? (Past, Present or Future?)

2. What proportion of my thinking is negative?

3. How does it affect me when I focus on the negative?

4. Where is the evidence that what I think will happen will happen?

5. What do I want instead of thinking or feeling this way?

6. Coming from my heart instead of my head what would love do here?

Ready to know more about The Spotlight Process and how embracing and applying this process in your life not just at Christmas will change your reality, simply follow this link which will take you to my first book ‘Find YOU, Find LOVE: Get to the heart of love and relationships using EFT.

Here’s to staying sane at Christmas,

From my heart to yours with love,

x Wendy

12 Dec

Say Yes to Life!

Did you know there are 86,400 seconds in a day?  If you didn’t you do now.

The trouble with life is, you can’t bank it, save it for a rainy day, trade it in or request a new one, it simply doesn’t work like that.

Before you know it Monday is soon Friday, it’s the weekend again and then back to work.

For many people life is a whirlwind of just getting through each day until the next one comes. Few make time to smell the roses or ponder how to make the most of the 86,400 seconds they have been granted and this is why I’m writing this blog to help you take stock of where you’ve been and where you’re heading.

Life and death is certain , it’s one thing we know for sure but how many of us are really living our lives ‘on purpose?’

Are you living the same day 365 days a year or do you want something different for yourself?

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End of year reflections 

Reflecting back on 2016, what happened month by month?

• What did you really love about 2016?
• What were the high points of the year?
• What were your magic and special moments?
• What made you smile?
• What made you cry?
• What happened in 2016 that you would rather not go through in 2017?
• What experiences have you been through that you did not enjoy in 2016 what did you learn from those experiences?
• What do you need to change?
• What do you need to start doing, stop doing or do differently? (This can be related to how you spend your time, who you spend time with, your health, and your income, your sense of self, your relationships and any other aspect of your life)
• What important lessons did you learn in 2016 about yourself; people in general, your body, your work, your family, your relationships, your sense of fulfilment and accomplishment?
• What do you want in 2017? (Answer in the positive tense-no don’t wants’ allowed!)
• What are you committed to achieving?
• What is the most important skill that you want to either further develop or master within yourself?
• What changes and actions are you committed to changing in your life?
• What do you need to do in 2017 to move on from 2016, even though 2016 may have been amazing, what do you need to leave behind in order to move on?
• If 2016 was a tough year for you, how can you use your learning to your best advantage to make 2017 your best year yet?
• What are you committed to?
• What can you achieve in the next 12 months with focused attention?
• Who were you when you started 2016 and who are you now?
• Who are you becoming?
• What else is possible for you?

I hope that you enjoy completing your end of year reflections, on reading through after completion you may like to take from it and write up separately your goals and action steps to make 2017 your best year yet!

If you need some help and support in living life to it’s fullest potential please do make contact.

One life, live it!

Wendy Fry | Emotional Health & Relationship Consultant | Helping you to help yourself

www.bepositive.me.uk | www.wendyfry.com | www.mothersanddaughters.solutions

04 Dec

Stretch and Grow

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

I don’t know about you but this passing year has been one where i’ve well and truly stretched myself out of my comfort zone doing both fun things and also taking risks even through my insides were shaking.  Have you been in that place too, part of you quaking in your boots and the other part excited, body rushing with adrenaline?

It’s all too easy to get set in our ways and say no to doing things because we’ve never done them before and our mind plays tricks on us showing us the worst possible outcome of how something will pan out.  The good news is, in my experience all the worse case scenarios I have projected into doing something new for the first time have never actually happened.

This year i’ve been invited to do many things I have never done before: Appear on Oxford TV (you can see me in action here being interviewed with the lovely Emma-Jane Taylor) I’ve been asked to speak in front of a large group of people (like 500 people which is yet to happen) Bring it on!  and asked to write some content for a friends forthcoming book.  I will admit building a new website and getting to grips with technology and recording meditations has been truly frustrating, confusing and downright annoying but I got there in the end even though I could have honestly given in more than once.

Now so as to get that all important work life balance I put myself and four friends forward to attend learning to play a Djembe drum along with African singing and dancing, it sure was a lot of fun even though we sang the wrong words out of tune and hit the drum drum when everyone else was silent.  We stretched ourselves as a group and the challenge was easier.  We simply laughed at our mistakes and had fun trying.

All of these new opportunities and invitations filled me with fear or concern that i’d get things right but then I thought ‘what the heck’, I may have never done these things before but if I do them for the first time, I can learn from from the experience and from the point of learning, next time I have to do the same things or something similar I will have more knowledge and wisdom as to how best have a positive outcome.

So yes, I felt the fear and did it anyway and I want you to know i’m no different to you, I still have fears though recognise fear get’s in the way of achieving the things which are important to me.   So on that note…will you join me in a stretch or three?

If you could do anything knowing you could not fail, what would you do? 

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What’s the cost if you do nothing to stretch and are you willing to pay that price?

Because I don’t believe in New Years Resolutions instead choosing to believe in stretching myself at every opportunity, I invite you to do the same.

Let’s begin with the power of two:

List two things you would like to do but have been avoiding, then break down these two goals into realistic and achievable steps and from this point (today) begin by making a commitment to yourself to take action until you too stretch and grow.  You will be glad you did.  In fact the future you is already saying c’mon, get your rear in gear, we are going on an adventure.

Feel the fear and do it anyway…it sure feels good!

Let me know how you get on with your journey and if you need a stretch buddy or someone to hold you accountable just make contact at www.wendyfry.com and we will work out a plan…

So  let’s reach two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…..and breathe….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our comfort zone operates as a self protection mechanism and although we say that we want positive change we still stay in this zone, although it might be comfort-
able it can be compared to being trapped inside a cage too frightened to move out of it even if the cage door is open.

Consequently, the love that we search for is often slower to obtain, or there is no
change at all if we stay stuck where we are. It’s as though this invisible comfort zone

 

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is made up of a million voices telling us why we shouldn’t, mustn’t, ought not to, daren’t, don’t want to do whatever it is we say we really want to do.

ARE YOU STAYING IN YOUR COMFORT ZONE?

 

 

Insightful Questions

 

 

  • Has life been consistently knocking you down that as soon as you get

up, you feel as if you’re being pulled back down again?

  • Has it been too scary for you to take risks that could lead you to the

love you have been searching for?

  • Have you been using your past to motivate you or limit you?
  • How long have you been staying in the safety of your comfort zone?

Anything outside of this zone can appear scary, risky or downright dangerous and our survival instincts kick in. Fear and excitement are so similar in the way we expe-
rience the feelings, that we may be uncertain which one we are feeling and so talk ourselves out of doing certain things.   It’s natural to feel apprehensive when trying new things, but unless we take action, nothing will change.

Mistakes, or rather the fear of making mistakes and not getting things 100% right, create a comfort zone.

A comfort zone consists of mental conditioning that may not always be based on
fact and has been made up of our perceptions and the meanings we have placed
on things and people.   If we feel we have taken risks before and those risks have
not worked in our favour, we may be hesitant to take risks again in case it all goes
wrong.

CREATING OUR OWN PRISONS

The truth is, if we stay within the boundaries of the self-imposed walls we build up around ourselves, change won’t happen – we’ll be doing what we always did and getting the same results, feeling stuck, uncertain and unafraid.

By thinking and doing the same things, we get the same results. I don’t really need to tell you that as I know you are already fed up with getting the same results.

 

 

110      Find YOU Find LOVE

 

 

MOVING ON FROM THE PAST AND CREATING THE FUTURE OF OUR DREAMS

So, it’s time to join me and the hundreds of women I have worked with and form a united army moving on from the past and creating the future of our dreams.  Focus on all that could go right and take those first steps towards achievement.