Category Archives: Being

12 Mar

The Precious Present

In the blink of an eye life can change and never go back to the same way or shape it was before.

Whether it’s our health, the longevity of others, our careers, relationships or ambitions nothing is certain and it’s easy to take so many things for granted.

Most of us spend time worrying about the future predicting all kinds of catastrophes and for others they are stuck in the past fearful that the past will repeat itself through not taking any action to prove their fears otherwise.  How many of us are actually present?

Just this week I have been reminded about the preciousness of life.  It is a gift given to us although how many of us savour it, enjoy it, appreciate it and respect it?

When was the last time you simply stopped to be? 

Do that now, just stop, sit back, sink into the surface you are laying or sitting on, take a deep breath in and out, roll your shoulders and neck, breathe in and out some more…really deeply this time.  Connect with your heart, go inside, feel the presence of yourself, inside of yourself….

This moment and the precious present is your only guarantee.  The moments before are gone, other moments may come through what of this one? 86,000 seconds in a day to enjoy, appreciate, acknowledge, savour and be grateful for.

Living life moment to moment is all we have ~ Let’s be grateful for the precious present, it is a gift to appreciate and enjoy.

 

 

13 Sep

Every Day An Anniversary

Every day is an anniversary of some other day.

Some say time is immeasurable and doesn’t exist though as you’re sitting there right now reading this, let’s celebrate the fact you are alive and very much present in this time and space.  Whether you’re reading this on your phone on the tube, from home on your PC or tablet, or if you’re following this page and reading in your email today is your day and the anniversary of you showing up day after day and wouldn’t you agree that’s worth a celebratory high five, bow, shimmy or even a glass of fizz.

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Just today it made me realise how quickly time passes.  My dad has been married to my stepmother for 30 years today also on this day 6 years ago my lovely neighbour Norma was laid to rest.  This time last year I was in hospital awaiting an operation, I was also launching my first book woo hoo!

September happens to be one of my favourite months as the leaves start to change colour and horse chestnuts (conkers) are getting themselves ready for picking and a conker fight or two.

So today and every day reflect on your past and ponder the happy anniversaries and also the anniversaries of hardships you have overcome, achievements made, projects completed, operations you’ve survived, hills you’ve climbed, risks taken, words spoken, commitments made and acknowledge although time stands still apparently for no man (or woman come to that) just take a moment to acknowledge every day is the anniversary of some other day.

If you find yourself remembering anniversaries with sadness, regret, anger or love, welcome all your emotions, it shows you, you are alive and that you’ve lived and loved.  Feel what you need to feel and know this day too will pass as will tomorrow and the next day too.

Every day may not be a good day but there will be something good in every day…look for it, seek it, find it!

Make every day a day to remember and make time to celebrate you!

Happy Anniversary – You are amazing!

 

18 Jan

PAUSE for Positive Change

We all have the same amount of hours in the day though I know many of you might wish you had more time to either get through your ‘In Tray’, deal with the hundreds of daily emails or simply want more time to connect with your family and friends.

I need to let you know, the secret of success is…Less is more!

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Working yourself into the ground, running on empty and worrying about everything creates stress.

Taking just a few minutes out of your day, brings you back into balance.  Getting you out of your head and into your heart.  By slowing down our thoughts, remembering to breathe and taking a moment to pause, will allow you to de-stress, do more and have time for fun stuff too.

Now is the perfect time to PAUSE and connect with your heart space Any time you find yourself going into your head, pause and use heart centred breathing.

Re-connecting with your heart space will support you in remembering your:

 
Passion

Ability

Uniqueness

Sense of Self

Energy of Love

 
Allow the pause to reach your heart space, breathe deeply and allow yourself to fully connect in love.  Feel that love and connection growing and expanding, filling up not only your physical body with beautiful energy.

Blast out that vibrant energy from your heart out into The Universe.

Create a positive ripple of heart connection across the planet.

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to believe that you do great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you will know when you’ve found it – Steve Jobs

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Heart Based Exercise: Making your future the best it can be

I encourage you to reflect on the following points, to make your future the best it can be. Ask yourself:

 
• What do I need to stop doing that holds me back from having a more heart centred connection with myself and others?
• What do I need to start doing to allow my heart to open fully?
• What can I commit to right now that will allow for a more heart centred approach to life and living?
Heart Based Exercise (apply daily as many of these heart centred self care choices as you possible)

I have listed below some activities that will aid you in being more loving to yourself and making time for you to be with you. What can you choose from these examples that will make you feel pampered, cherished and loved and what other ways can you find to love you?

 
Affirmations – starting and ending the day with positive affirmations while connection from your heart will aid towards general well-being creating balance and positive energy flow.

 
Being out in nature – connecting to nature is very restorative and reduces mental fatigue. It is both healing and cleansing, being out in fresh air and green spaces restoring one’s emotional health and physical wellbeing on many different levels.

 
Complementary Therapies – there are some wonderful therapies that may make you feel relaxed and at peace with yourself – for example massage, Reiki, HeartMath Coherence and Reflexology, as well as EFT are all are treatments which aid in the release of built up emotions in the emotional and physical body whilst also easing the mind.

 
Eating well – choosing healthy foods that you enjoy and which are natural and energising are an important part of looking after you and maintaining a healthy heart. Prepare for yourself delicious meals and treats with love and care. Use beautiful china to eat and drink from. Make eating a beautiful ritual where you honour your body and your health.

 

Exercise – Any form of exercise, whether it’s walking, cycling, swimming, aerobics, dancing or using a trampoline will release endorphins (the ‘happy’ hormone) into your body. Laughter Yoga if you haven’t yet discovered it is perfect for a lasting happiness effect. Exercise can make you feel energised, positive and confident and is also great for toning and shaping as well as pumping blood around the heart. Be sure to have some form of exercise in your daily routine and to build up gradually listening to your body at all times.

 

Gratitude – Practising daily gratitude has so many benefits.  Read this wonderful article by Monica Cafferky, freelance journalist  ‘How Writing a Daily Gratitude Diary Changed Our Lives’  I’m pleased to have been interviewed for this article and share with you how the attitude of gratitude changed me life in the Daily Express.

 

Rest and relaxation – down time such as listening to music, reading, taking a nap or making sure you have plenty of sleep when you need it, is a very loving way to look after yourself and your heart.

 

Meditation – You may also find meditation helps you to relax after a busy day or, as part of a daily morning ritual. Check out  Five Minute Meditations by Caroline Maidment which I highly recommend. Meditation lowers the heart rate and boosts immunity feeding the body with nutrients and oxygen.

 

Self care – such as taking luxurious baths with scented oils, candles burning and using wonderful body moisturisers and having a pamper, generally all helps one’s body to feel loved and cared for. Body brushing increases lymphatic flow through the body towards the heart. Choosing carefully the outfit you will wear for the day ahead, how you style your hair and if you wear make-up, taking care to apply and wear the colours that love you are all an important part of you showing yourself love, attention and care.

 

When you are kind and loving towards yourself connecting from your heart you act from a place of self love, it’s possible to expand, connect, amplify, magnetise and bring balance to your life.  Your thought processes change and you may find yourself being more positive about life in general, as you operate more from heart focused awareness.

It is beautiful to express love and even more beautiful to feel it – Dejan Stoganovic

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When you’re ready to take the next step and make your future the best it can be contact me for love and relationship support at www.wendyfry.com or for general therapeutic support at www.bepositive.me.uk email: info@wendyfry.com.

I work over Skype and also in person from my practice in Surrey offering a range of personal support programmes, workshops and VIP Days.

Remember to PAUSE, you’d be surprised what you find in the gap! 

17 Jan

One True Thing

Nothing in my experience compares to the unique connection and bond we experience with our pets.

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An unspoken mutual agreement is made up of respect, caring and unconditional love.

Sensitive to each others needs and there for each other through all seasons our pets show us how to nurture in completeness, how to relax and how to enjoy simple pleasures.

Whether it be teaching us to take time out and sit in a sunny spot, enjoy the fresh air and freedom of walking or running in a park or to simply enjoy a cool drink of water we can learn so much from our furry friends.

Our pets allow us to be all of who we are, without judgement. I know many people who have conversations with their pets and would not dream of talking this way to others for fear of ridicule.

All creatures great and small put us in touch with the child like part of ourselves, where we can be lovely dovey,  soft and fluffy or airy fairy.

We find a place within ourselves, with their aid  where we roll about in glee or simply find stillness and peace within.  They teach us how to connect with our inner child, to laugh, to play or simply be.

Blessed are we who have the love of pets.

Whether your pet is sitting with you right now or is with you in spirit.  One true thing is your love for each other will live on in your hearts forever.

This blog is in loving memory of my neighbours cat Mac, who had a fondness for rubbing his face on my plants, who always came to see me when I put rubbish out or worked in the garden.  I’ve spent the last six years watching Mac grow up from a fluffy, scrawny kitten into a magnificent and beautiful young man.

I know I will miss him though I thank him for showing me unconditional love.

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Pictures included are not of Mac though represent all our beautiful pets the world over.

 

 

 

23 Nov

How Do You Experience Love?

An open heart is an open mind – Dalai Lama

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How Do You Experience Love?

There are so many ways to experience love, it will be different for each and everyone reading this.

One way of experiencing love is to be ‘in the moment’. Fully alive and receptive with where you are in time and space. Using your senses to be in touch with the moment (seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting)

You are able to enjoy the feeling of love flowing through you with ease when you are fully present.

Neither being caught up with thinking about the past, or worrying about the future, simply accepting the present moment just as it is through heart centred awareness.

There are so many ways to connect in with your heart space and experience joy and love….

  • Self love/Self compassion
  • Simply ‘being’ in the absence of doing
  • Heart focused meditation
  • Love of another
  • Love of family
  • Love of a pet
  • Love of your work/vocation
  • Love of nature/gardening
  • Love of knowledge
  • Love of music
  • Love of people
  • Love of a hobby
  • Love of exercise
  • Love of reading/writing/journaling
  • Love of stillness/meditation
  • Love of life

 

How do you experience the flow of love in you?

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Flow is the feeling of wholeness, connection, contentment, just being in love with life and all that is regardless of external circumstances.

When you are in peak flow you are in your heart and there is no greater place to be.

Need some help in getting out of your head and into your heart?  I have a range of services and programmes to suit your needs www.bepositive.me.uk

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart Helen Keller

18 Oct

Why Crying is Good For You…

When was the last time you had a good cry?

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It never ceases to amaze me how someone crying might make others feel uncomfortable. They might rush in saying things like:

  • Don’t cry
  • Pull yourself together
  • Don’t let anyone see you crying
  • It’s weak to cry
  • Don’t get upset

As children we may have been told things like:

  • Don’t be a cry baby
  • Be a big a big boy/girl
  • Grow-up
  • Pansy and other inappropriate name calling
  • You’re pathetic
  • Stop snivelling

It’s not long before we internalise all these negative messages and beliefs about why we shouldn’t cry!

The truth is our bodies are designed to release stress and build up of toxins through the secretion of tears.  It’s actually healthy to cry.

Perhaps you have found a way to keep a ‘stiff upper lip’ on your feelings keeping everything in, or maybe you are like me when you are in shock or deeply saddened, you too might shed a bucket load of tears.

If we continually keep emotions in we might find ourselves ‘imploding’ and this continual build up of stress and unexpressed emotions might lead to depression, low mood, sleeplessness, anxiety and a whole host of symptoms where the body tries other ways to release the build up of emotions.

Feeling like we can’t express ourselves in the moment we might also find ourselves exploding in anger and rage at the most inappropriate time.

When you next cry and someone tells you not to, it might be interesting to ask them ”what is it about my tears, that makes you uncomfortable?”

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Your tears, upset and emotions may well evoke in someone else the unresolved emotions they have not released, triggering off their own sadness, loss, grief, anger and the full range of human emotions that we all experience.

There is a lovely scientific study right here if you’re interested in finding out more about the different types of tears and why it’s healthy to release emotional tears.

In my work as a therapist, I have seen grown men, women and children cry.  In our work together, they are given the space and freedom to cry , encouraged to express the emotions that have been held in and allowed to vent what they are feeling.  Often the unresolved emotions go as far back as childhood when they were fist told not to cry.

There are a range of techniques I offer to aid emotional release though right here in this moment, the first step to coming to tems with how you feel is to join me in saying aloud.

  • I give myself permission to feel what I’m feeling
  • It’s okay for me to have these emotions
  • I allow myself to work through what I’m feeling

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Whenever your emotions surface unexpectedly repeat these statements to see you through, grab yourself some soft tissues and allow yourself to cry.

If you need a safe space to work through what you’re feeling, a place where you will be heard and supported I welcome you to make contact.  I offer a range of support programmes to suit your individual needs.

If you need help in coming to terms with love and relationships contact me here 

For general therapeutic support you can find out more here 

Remember crying is good for you. 

As ever, from my heart to yours with love,

X Wendy