31 Oct

Meeting Your Mentors

The first mentor I had in my life was my mother. Who she was and how I related to her and her mentoring and mothering have shaped my life. I’m ever grateful for my learnings and the wisdom I have gained through her teachings.

When I say the word ‘Mentor’ who comes to mind for you? Is it your mother or someone else entirely?


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There have been other mentors in my life such as my father, my brother, uncles, aunts, school teachers, neighbours, friends and as i’ve gone through life also mentors who I have esteemed to on a professional level. Pretty much everyone we interact with could be classed as a mentor as we are learning from them (good or bad)

Life is about learning, it’s an experience we can’t avoid until of course we are no longer on this earthly plane. What we take from life and the meanings we place on our experiences creates outcomes and further experiences depending on our beliefs about who we are and what we can achieve.

I’m coming up to the half a century mark (goodness knows where the time has gone) though it’s a great time to stop and reflect on my life and I invite you to do the same:

• Who has made the most positive impact in your life?
• What have you overcome with the help of others?
• Who are you eternally grateful to for the support, love and encouragement they have shown you?
• When in your life have you felt your best and who helped you to achieve this?
• What are the life experiences you have encountered which have made you the person you are today?
• Reflecting on your past who and what are you grateful for?
• Looking towards your future what would your current self say to your future self?
• Thinking about the rest of your life and knowing too, you are your own best mentor. What will you start doing, stop doing and do differently to make the rest of your life the best of your life?

 

We never know what path we will walk when we are born into this world and our experiences can make us or break us. The fact that you are reading this means you are made up of courage, determination, strength and love, oh and stardust! You have the ability to continue ever onwards living your life on purpose and mentoring yourself along the way to check you are on track.

The mentors in our lives help us, support us and encourage us and we too play a big hand in what we choose to do with their guidance. Decide today if you are to be your very own personal mentor what is the first thing you will say to yourself? and the next, and the next and the next? What is the first action you will take? and the next and the next and the next? When you commit to yourself to make your past work for you so much can be gained.

I am ever grateful for the mentors in my life and I have listed them in my next book Mothers and Daughters: The guide to understanding and transforming the relationship with your mother

With loving thanks to my mother Jeanette and father Paul who gave me the gift of life and my brother Colin who taught me how to shape some funky dance moves when the going gets tough.  Massive hugs to my wonderful friends especially ‘THE HOGS’ (Girlfriends with Hearts of Gold) Gill Shaw, Ann Whittaker, Deborah Marshall, Joanna Emmerson, Maaike Vlamm, Lucy Moreton, Lisa Rackham and Caroline Maidment, you are the best!

Special thanks goes to Olive Webb who was like a second mum to me; Olive picked me up many times when I fell down and always with love.  Heartfelt gratitude goes out to Margaret Biggs, Helen Stanbridge, Jane Taylor, Curly Martin, Lexie Bebbington, Anne Jirsch, Sasha Allenby, Monica Cafferky and Sharon King.  To all the people who have caused me pain and discomfort in my life, without the challenges and experiences I had with you, I may never have found the path leading me to do the work I love – so I thank you.

I’ve come a long way because of the people I met and have been blessed by many to receive their help and support as well as their love, encouragement and guidance.  It’s been a gift to have found them, or maybe they found me…

Not always one to blow my own trumpet there’s no time like the present to also recognise I’ve got to where I am through my own determination and I invite you to do the same.

Take a bow, salute yourself and do the happy dance in acknowledgement of just how far you’ve come.  Here’s looking forward to the next half a century and the wonderful mentors and experiences we have yet to discover.

04 Jan

Communication is the key

Happy New Year to you!

This is my first blog of 2016 and what a joy it is to share with you.

Communication is the key

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Communication is important.  Not only is communication about how we communicate internally, inside our own mind it also covers how we communicate outwardly to others.

If you’d like to learn more about Finding You and how to communicate without fear my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE will aid with this, it’s on special offer at the moment via Kindle.

Outward communication, voicing our thoughts and needs, may leave us feeling vulnerable, though it’s important to stay true to who you are within any relationship, personally or professionally.  This includes voicing your needs from the heart, calmly and constructively, using diplomacy and also considering the others person’s needs, opinion and feelings.

If we are unable to be honest and speak from the heart in our relationships and interactions, we are like actors pretending, behaving as we think the other person wants us to behave and we lose all sense of self.

When we speak up and voice the needs of our heart, no matter how difficult we may anticipate the outcome to be and the more you set free the voice of the heart, the easier it gets.

The hearts needs comes from a space of love, wanting connection, wholeness and peace, operating from this place is liberating as its intention is always for a positive and loving outcome. More about the hearts needs here and a lovely free exercise for you.

By learning to voice your thoughts and needs, it gives you strength. It becomes okay for you to speak up and communicate in a way that states your wholeness.

If you want more heart connection with others and more understanding, start with yourself first.

Relationships are based on how we relate to ourselves first and foremost, that includes how we connect in with our own hearts.

Relationships require clear communication and once you know what your inner most ‘heart needs’ are you have the ability to clearly communicate those needs assertively and with love.

Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first.  Ask questions then feel the answer.  Learn to trust your heart – Anon

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Heart Based Exercise: Living a life of love (how we communicate to ourselves and others) 

Experiencing life through love every day is a wonderful exercise to practice. Not only are you changing your own internal dialogue and how you communicate with yourself, it also influences how you communicate outwardly to others.

The statements below can be completed by either writing them out or speaking them aloud.

They will set you up for the day ahead and put you in a positive frame of mind, guiding your thoughts to those which are kind and loving.

  • When I look through the eyes of love, how do I choose to see myself physically today?
  • When I feel from the heart of love, how can I be more loving to myself and others today?
  • When I use my heart connection, what thoughts can I choose to think about myself and others that are more loving?
  • When I see the love and beauty all around me I start to notice…..
  • When I focus on all that is possible for me I…..
  • Today, I realise that when I choose heart connection I…..
  • Today, tomorrow and the next day I commit to…..
  • Now and for always I…..
  • I believe that…..

You might also like to check out my previous blog post about heart connection

Sometimes the heart knows what the mind can never explain – Ranjeet Singh

As we step into 2016, consider what may need to change in your communication style.

Communicate your hearts needs and be the creator of your dreams, take action and amaze yourself at all you can be, do and have! 

From my heart to yours, with love, 

x Wendy

If you’d like to work with me to improve your communication style or talk about any other matter I have some special offers this month, simply email me at info@wendyfry.com to find out more.