Category Archives: heart

12 Mar

The Precious Present

In the blink of an eye life can change and never go back to the same way or shape it was before.

Whether it’s our health, the longevity of others, our careers, relationships or ambitions nothing is certain and it’s easy to take so many things for granted.

Most of us spend time worrying about the future predicting all kinds of catastrophes and for others they are stuck in the past fearful that the past will repeat itself through not taking any action to prove their fears otherwise.  How many of us are actually present?

Just this week I have been reminded about the preciousness of life.  It is a gift given to us although how many of us savour it, enjoy it, appreciate it and respect it?

When was the last time you simply stopped to be? 

Do that now, just stop, sit back, sink into the surface you are laying or sitting on, take a deep breath in and out, roll your shoulders and neck, breathe in and out some more…really deeply this time.  Connect with your heart, go inside, feel the presence of yourself, inside of yourself….

This moment and the precious present is your only guarantee.  The moments before are gone, other moments may come through what of this one? 86,000 seconds in a day to enjoy, appreciate, acknowledge, savour and be grateful for.

Living life moment to moment is all we have ~ Let’s be grateful for the precious present, it is a gift to appreciate and enjoy.

 

 

29 Aug

The Best of Friends

When you think of the word friend or friendship who or what comes to mind?

I love using a Thesaurus and found the following meanings in terms of friendship and the components of what we might mutually bring to a relationship with friends.  Reading through how many of these statements resonate with you and the friendships you’re blessed with?

  • accord
  • affection
  • agreement
  • closeness
  • devotion
  • harmony
  • intimacy
  • love
  • rapport
  • understanding
  • affinity
  • amiability
  • company
  • consideration
  • empathy
  • fondness
  • friendliness
  • sodality

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I don’t know about you but I personally have the best of friends and have known many of them for over 35 years, oh boy, that makes me feel a little old though all things considered my friendships have lasted longer than my relationships.

Friends come in all shapes and sizes, nationalities, ages, sexes with common goals and aims or opposing opinions.  I can understand the term ‘friends for life’ as so many of us are blessed with life long friendships from the day we form the friendship until the day we die, so many wonderful experiences can be shared with friends.

I invite you to take a moment today to honour your friendships and acknowledge them in some way, whether it be a call,  meeting up, sending a greeting by social media or indeed sharing this blog post just to say ‘thank you for being my friend.’

It’s often our friends who are there for us in our darkest hours and who are the first to want to celebrate our successes.

So on that note to all my wonderful friends, I love you, thank you for being in my life, you are the best!

 

 

 

01 Feb

Crazy Little Thing Called Love!

As we step into February the month for love and with Valentine’s Day fast approaching.  Many of you might be wondering….Can any body find me somebody to love?

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Oh, yes! All things love, Saint Valentine deserves a mention. You can read more about the historical aspects of Saint Valentine and the significance of 14th February being a special day here though as nearly everyone gets on the band wagon buying roses, champagne and chocolates for their nearest and dearest supermarkets, florists, fragrance houses and chocolatiers cash in on The Day of Love.

Always one to be a little bit different and stepping away from the norm, I say ‘let every day be a day for love’.

If you’re with me on that, shout out ‘I’m in’!…now even louder…’I’m in’!

On the subject of love, my argument here, simply because I love a good old debate, is why wait for others to validate you in the love department and have to wait a whole year for the privilege.

Don’t get me wrong, It’s always lovely to receive love tokens, knights in shining armour delivering the finest milk chocolate,  bed strewn with red rose petals and a luxury bubble bath with a chilled bottle of Moet on the side, but what if Saint Valentine is still on his white charger trying to find you it’s a case of Love Don’t Live Here Any More 

Option 2

Be your own Saint Valentine every day!

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Essential ingredients for daily love (repeat daily 365 days a year)

  • Wake up, stretch, yawn, have a little wriggle and say ‘today’s the day for love’

 

  • Get up, put your favourite music on, (these can be your favourite love tracks) or any kind of music that makes you want to groove and shake your booty (we can start a love train)

 

  • While showering, imagine you’re standing under a beautiful rainbow which not only cleanses away yesterdays residue, imagine the rainbow water is also showering you with love (singing in the shower optional, if you decide to dance too, please use hand rails) Here’s one of my faves to get you in the mood. Singing tracks like this to yourself might feel a bit odd though once you get used to you will find yourself singing all kinds of wonderful things.

 

  • After towelling dry, dress in your best, after all you’re spending the day with wonderful you.

 

  • Next…set your intention and affirm the day will bring you experiences to love and appreciate (even if those things are lessons, they will help you grow)

 

  • Think about how you love your insides and be sure to nurture your body with healthful foods which energise you and support your health and well-being

 

  • Choose how you spend your thinking time, turning your thoughts to love as often as possible (example)

 

 

  • At the end of your day do what makes you feel good whether it be a jog in the park, chilling with a good book, running your own sumptuous bubble bath and having the chocolates all to yourself or simply meditating, listening to music or if you really must show the world you can dance

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this newsletter and the dance tracks (you can take the girl out of the eighties but not the 80’s out of the girl)

Please feel free to let me know how you get on with the daily love…

And just for fun have a little boogie to ‘Crazy Little Thing Called Love’ 

PS…remember to download completely free 21 Steps to LOVE and Standing in the Spotlight of LOVE
It’s been my pleasure connecting with you as ever.

From my heart you yours, with love

Wendy x

Get your copy of Find YOU, Find LOVE here for UK customers and here, overseas, oh and please do leave a review, thank you

FYFL JACKET

 

www.bepositive.me.uk General Therapy

www.wendyfry.com  Love & Relationship Support

 

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11 Jan

Raising Your Love Vibration

We all need love and heart centred connection….

Since we were mere babies, to be loved, nurtured and connected with others is a natural human need inbuilt from our earliest years.

As adults, we no longer need to be reliant to find love and connection from the outside sources; we can meet our own needs independently by going into our hearts.

If you need a little more information about heart connection see my previous blog Get Out of Your Head and into Your Heart 

Heart Based Exercise: Raising Your Love Vibration- connecting with your heart space

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You can use this exercise in the written sense, writing down your answers or simply use as a visual exercise if you prefer.

Think about a dial with -10 being the lowest love score, 0 being neutral and +10 being at its highest rate of heart connection

How high is your heart connection dial right now?
• If your dial is anything less than a + 10 what do you need to start doing, stop doing or do differently to get it to a +10?
• How will your life change when you connecting with your heart space from a +10?
• What things do you love about life/yourself/others when you connect from the heart? (keep adding to that list so that you have a growing list of things to love and appreciate about yourself)
• What memories do you have of giving and receiving love?
• Remember how giving and receiving love felt, what you saw, heard and experienced, how was this achieved when you openly gave and received love through your heart?
• How can you be more loving towards yourself and others?
• What would happen if you accepted, allowed and welcomed more love into your life?
• How would your day change if you filtered for and looked for all the loving experiences you could find through heart centred awareness?
• How would your life change if you operated more from your heart and said yes to love for now and for always?

 

Reflect on your answers and notice where you might be falling a little short in the love vibration department.  If you need some extra help read my previous blog post Creating Possibilities through Heart Centred Connection 

The moment you surrender to love and allow it to lead you to exactly where your soul wants it to go, you will have no difficulty – Neal Donald Walsch

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Practical Exercise: Increasing Raising your love vibration

Use the following statements in addition to the prior exercise, either writing your answers  after the gaps, visualising the process or reading the statements aloud and ending in your own words.
Connecting with my heart I know….

Being more heart centred changes my life because….

I love how it feels when…..

I love knowing…..

It makes me feel so good that…..

I love seeing myself…..

I enjoy…..

I’m excited at the thought of…..

I love being…..

I’m delighted that….

I appreciate….

It feels so good to be….

I’m so happy that….

When you raise your love vibration through heart centred connection,  you feel differently about yourself and your future. When you can change your mind set about what is possible rather than what is impossible this changes your energetic vibration, try it and see.

Wherever you go, go with all your heart – Confucius

When you’re ready to work with me please do make contact at info@wendyfry.com to explore the range of tools and techniques I can share with you, Helping You to help Yourself!

Love and Relationship Support Programmes www.wendyfry.com

General Therapeutic Support www.bepositive.me.uk 

28 Dec

Creating Possibilities through Heart Centred Connection

If you ever wondered what heart centred connection is, I’m about to share with you some beautiful exercises to get you into your heart and out of your head.

Free Heart: The needs of the heart

It is always possible to be more loving towards ourselves, once we know what our needs are.  When we are able to meet those needs independently, we take control of our lives.

When we open our hearts and give love to ourselves, then and only then can we love and honour others and be open to receiving love.

When we are able to experience love from within without being dependent on another for love, we gain a new sense of strength and optimism.

One question I often ask myself is ‘what does my heart need right now?’ Just asking yourself this question on a regular basis tips the balance and brings head and heart into equal position.

Trust your own instincts, go inside, and follow your heart.  Right from the start.  Go ahead and stand up for what you believe in. As I’ve learned, that is the path to happiness – Lesley Ann Warren

Heart Centred Connection Exercise: What does my heart need?

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Ask yourself ‘’what does my heart need right now?’’ and notice how it answers.

Does your heart connect with you through feelings, words, pictures or a combination of these things?

Often there is an intuitive knowing of what the heart needs ‘you just know’ without necessarily being aware of how you know.

Being aware of your own needs and how you can meet them for yourself is a huge turning point in getting out of your head and into your heart.

Consider your unmet needs from childhood; it is never too late to meet those needs now as an adult.

Sometimes, we lose connection with our hearts.  We go into our heads looking outside of our hearts for love, instead of looking within.

This exercise will lead you back to heart centred connection.

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Copy out the picture of heart quadrant in a journal or on pieces of paper (or go to www.wendyfry.com to download a larger version)

Write or draw symbols or pictures inside your heart shaped flower petals of what your heart does in fact need.

Write inside as many of these heart shaped flowers as you can, all the choices, affirmations, loving statements and acknowledgements that make you feel loving and lovable.

For example: peace, love, acceptance, joy, laughter, growth, creativity, expression, love,  freedom.

Each and every one of us has different needs of the heart.  Record whatever comes up for you when you connect with your heart space.

Trust the answers that it gives you without judgement or analysis.

Completing this exercise daily on waking and sleeping as well as throughout the day if you are able to will have a dramatic effect on your sense of feeling grounded and connected with your heart and your highest truth.

Consider how you may be able to meet each of your hearts needs.  For example when I want to experience freedom I go for a walk.  When I want to experience joy I watch a funny movie.  For creative expression I write or draw.

There are so many ways each of us can meet our hearts needs independently.

A loving heart is the truest wisdom – Charles Dickens

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Practical Exercise: Creating possibilities through heart centred connection

Complete the following statements in a journal.

Speak these positive statements out loud, or inside your own head adding your own answers into the blend

  • I love seeing myself…

Example:   I love seeing myself confident and happy in any situation

 

  • I love feeling…

Example:   I love feeling of being connected to myself and others through my heart

 

  • I love hearing…

Example:  I love hearing the positive voice inside my heart

 

  • I love knowing…

Example: I love knowing that through heart centred connection my life will be rich and full

 

  • I am aware of…

Example: I am aware of my hearts needs and communicate those needs effectively

 

There is no instinct like that of the heart – Lord Byron

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Mantras of the Heart Exercise

Creating daily mantras and repeating them out loud as well via your internal dialogue will raise your love vibration and heart connection

Please use these as your mantras as your own, adapt or create alternatives which may be more personal to you.

  • I accept myself today
  • I love myself just as I am
  • I think and speak positively about myself from my heart
  • I deserve love
  • I open my heart to love
  • I attract love easily and effortlessly
  • I am willing to receive love
  • I give love with a good heart
  • I nurture myself and my needs
  • I choose to do something thoughtful and deserving for myself every day
  • I am surrounded by love
  • As I move throughout my day I choose to interact with others from the love that is within me
  • I seek for the opportunity to notice love in every experience
  • I am grateful for each loving experience
  • I choose love in my life every day
  • I am love

Your heart is full of fertile seeds, waiting to sprout – Morihei Ueshiba

 

 

Communicating the hearts needs in relationships

Hands, hearts sky

We can communicate our needs to others as part of a loving and equal relationship, though if our needs are not met by another, we still feel empowered by speaking up and being true to ourselves.

If we are consistently honest with ourselves and others about our needs, we no longer feel dis-empowered.

There is no hidden neediness below the surface, you voice your thoughts and feelings assertively knowing that if those needs aren’t met by others you can are still loveable and whole.

Others are not responsible for our happiness, we are.

As we move closer to the new year, now is the time to reflect on the year gone by and ask yourself what your heart needs for 2016.

It is my wish for you that you experience your hearts needs today and every day.

From my heart to yours, with love,

X Wendy

P.S…My first book Find YOU Find LOVE  is available at a reduced price for January in kindle format.  Happy Reading!

21 Dec

Christmas Frazzle or Christmas Cheer ~ It’s up to you…

Dreading Christmas? 

What’s worse, the thought of endless cooking and washing up or spending time with your ‘Out Law’s

It’s all to easy at this time of year to become frazzled, overwhelmed with doing and little time for being.

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Running round like a headless chicken trying to get the best turkey, stressing out as you stand in queues to pay with feet aching, busting for the toilet and your arms feel like they’re hanging off, it definitely is a case of ‘bah humbug’ and the Christmas spirit far from cheerful.

Often you get what you expect….

If you are anticipating problems getting things done, expecting grief from your in laws, the turkey getting burnt, relatives arguing or worse still fighting, what is this based on?

Often we project the past into the future experting the same thing to happen again and this is what we get.  My previous post Thought Tracking will help with this and aid for a peaceful day.

I invite you to make some you time in amongst the wrapping of presents and trying not to open the sweets you bought for Aunty Joan to have a little mind holiday called…

‘My Ideal Day’christmas-993287_1280 (2)

‘My Ideal Day’ is a creative way to get you thinking in a more positive and optimistic way from the heart.

It will move you beyond the anticipated  stress of Christmas, to a place where all things are possible, encouraging you to enjoy your day coming from the heart instead of the head.

When you focus on what you want and act as if it is already yours, it is likely to show up much sooner than you think.

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye – H. Jackson, Jr.

On a brand new sheet of paper or in a journal, write a story about how you want your Christmas Day to be. If you don’t have a pen and paper to hand, just think it through as if you were creating an anticipated and very positive movie about how your Christmas day will shape up.

This will be no ordinary day (remember you are putting the past behind you) it will be the story of your ideal Christmas Day and how it will be when everything goes swimmingly- think specifically here about your current relationships and family dynamics and who you would like to get on better with and include that in the main content of your writing.

You will be writing this in the positive, present tense, as if what you want has already come to pass and you are enjoying your life and relationships.

  • What will your day look like?
  • What will be happening?
  • How will you be feeling?
  • What will you hear going on around you?
  • How will you be spending your time?
  • How will you be thinking differently?

Take time to go over your story, making sure it’s complete and then read your story every day in the lead up to Christmas.

By focusing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want and getting into the energy space of the heart and acting as if having the ideal Christmas day.

If you need some extra help in understanding how your beliefs shape your future or you want to get clearer on how you want Christmas day to be.  You can download for free ‘Beliefs’ chapter three, from my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE at www.wendyfry.com/book/resources along with ‘The Do Want/Don’t Want’ exercise.

There are also two free audio’s for you to download 21 Steps to LOVE  and Standing in the Spotlight of LOVE

Keep love in your heart.  A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead – Oscar Wilde

Here’s to plenty of Christmas cheer!

From my heart to your with love,

Wendy x 

06 Dec

Shaping Your Future with Love

Following on from last weeks blog Get out of your head and into your heart, this week we explore…

Shaping Your Future with Love

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I encourage you to reflect on the following points, to make your future the best it can be.

Ask yourself-

• What do I need to stop thinking about that holds me back from achieving my personal and business goals?

• What do I need to start doing to be more connected with my heart?

• What do I need to do differently to improve my mindset?

• What can I commit to right now that will move me forwards in the direction of my dreams?

Be aware of the thoughts, actions and behaviours which will take you closer to your dreams and then go get ’em!

Communicating the Hearts Needs

Beauty Sexy Lips with Heart Shape paint. Love Concept. Kiss

The first step to understanding if you react and respond to life from your head or heart will be to monitor your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviours.

Thoughts create an energetic response in your body.

Noticing what you say to yourself and how his affects you physically as well as emotionally will offer insights into how powerful your thought process is.

Becoming an observer of your thoughts without attaching to them offers you an opportunity to move from head based thinking to heart based feeling.

This is not about criticising yourself for thinking from your head or to berate yourself.  The exercises in this section are designed for you to be very gentle and loving with yourself until you are able to master the art of heart based feeling.

Spend time noticing the content of the chatter in your mind and remind yourself ‘’I am not my thoughts’’.

Not judging yourself as having a thought being right or wrong, simply notice the content of the thought, acknowledging it in the same way you might notice clouds passing across a blue sky.

Catching your thinking and noticing how you are responding and reacting, without labelling yourself as ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

Over time, you will be able to reassure yourself that you are in fact just having thoughts.

Your thoughts are not always fact they are often imaginings of the mind.

Spending time thinking about your thoughts may not be something we normally do, though it will help to always ask yourself as you go about your day reacting and responding to people and events ‘Am I in my head or my heart?’

Recognising the early warning signs that you’re reacting from your head

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Your body is always your best advisor, it responds to your internal dialogue of thoughts and words created in the head.

Listen to your body and you will learn so much about yourself and how you react to different things.

By listening to your body, you will start to notice more and more how your body reacts energetically to internal thoughts and to external events, people and situations depending if you react and respond from head or heart.

You will either feel low negative energy or high energetic vibrations depending on what you are thinking about and reacting to.

Become aware of how your body reflects your thoughts and feelings and using that awareness to bring balance to your thinking which will, in turn, bring balance to your emotions and overall wellbeing when you can move from head to heart.

As you go throughout your day, notice the words you use inside your mind which brings you and your energy down.  These are often head based thoughts that you have attached a story or negative outcome to.

Here are some examples of head based thoughts that create low energy. 

When we tell yourself these things over and over you limit yourself and this creates a negative cycle and physical response that is far from motivating.

Heart based creating is very different feeling, it allows for a different kind of energy experience.

 

Head Based Thinking

 

Sleepy Tired
Apathetic Bored
Isolated Lonely
Inferior Depressed
Stupid Ashamed
Remorseful Guilty
Distant Hurt
Sarcastic Hostile
Frustrated Angry
Jealous Selfish
Irritated Hateful
Sceptical Critical
Bewildered Confused
Discouraged Rejected
Insignificant Helpless
Inadequate Submissive
Embarrassed Insecure
Overwhelmed Anxious
 

Heart Based Feeling

 

Relaxed Content
Responsive Intimate
Serene Loving
Secure Trusting
Thankful Nurturing
Confident Faithful
Valuable Appreciated
Worthwhile Respected
Successful Proud
Surprised Aware
Optimistic Hopeful
Playful Creative
Amused Cheerful
Stimulating Energetic
Fascinating Sensuous
Daring Excited

 

  • After reading through and getting a better understanding if you have been reacting from the head or heart which has been the most common way of responding for you up to now?
  • Which way of reacting to life do you prefer?
  • What difference do you notice physically when you alternate between head and heart?

Our thoughts influence our energetic vibration and being aware of this now, I feel sure that you will be more self aware in the future of when your thoughts limit you in some way.

The good news is it’s possible to bring our thoughts into check and re address the balance between head and heart.

Everyone has highs and lows that they have to learn from, but every morning I start off with a good head on my shoulders, saying to myself ‘It’s going to be a good day’ – Lindsay Lohan

I hope you enjoy my weekly blog, on life, love and living.  Please share the love by sharing the blog post if you would like to, thank you.

From my heart to yours,

With Love,

x Wendy

30 Nov

Get out of Your Head and into Your Heart!

When was the last time you were in the dilemma where your heart said yes and your head said no?  

Two parts of you in disagreement, battling with each other for pole position…

How often have you found yourself unable to make decisions based on that inner conflict, not knowing which way to go?

A question I would like you to become familiar with and to apply every time you find yourself reacting to something or someone is to ask yourself:

‘Am I in my head or am I in my heart?’

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Often times we are so much in our heads our heads analysing, judging and constantly weighing up the pros and cons of a situation.

We are so far removed from being in our heart space and connecting in love, that we wouldn’t recognise it if it came up and stared us in the face.

Our heads it’s where our ‘voice of doom/destruction/negative thinking’ lives. It will continue to rear its ugly head until we rein it in.

If we’re not careful, we could let our heads rule our hearts and our future, never considering the heart’s needs or wants.

Wherever you go, go with all your heart – Confucius

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Opening your heart

An open heart is very powerful, it has the capacity to love and be loved.

• Your heart is wise

• If you listen to it you will find that it knows all the answers to all your questions

• Your heart provides you with valuable sources of information

• Your heart has a blueprint for happiness, joy and compassion for yourself and others

• Your heart stores that which you seek…love, contentment, joy

The heart is where our true self resides, that place of inner knowing and intuition, the higher self, the source, our oneness.

Our heart speaks to us in a gentle voice and will guide us back home to ourselves if we stop long enough to listen.

Our heart truly knows what’s best for us if we can get the head out of the way.

Whatever we are waiting for – peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of abundance – it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart – Sarah Ban Breathnach

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Heart Based Exercise: Listening to Your Heart’s Needs

• Listen to your heart’s needs

• Be aware of the fears in your head

• Make a note of where these fears come from. Are they fears from the past, fears related to current concerns or fears about things you imagine happening in the future?

• Bring yourself back to your heart each time you find yourself going back into your head

• Go back to the heart space using heart based breathing, connect with and expand that feeling of love

• Act from the heart in every situation

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Wrist Band Exercise:

This is a great awareness exercise that supports you in bringing head and heart into balance.

  1. Wear a loose elastic band, hair tie, charity wrist band or just your watch around your wrist
  2. Every time you go into your head (over analysing, judging, labelling and categorising) which takes you further away from love, change the item over from one wrist to the other, to bring you back to heart centred awareness
  3. Filter your experiences through your heart space and you will experience life through the filter of love

It’s a very effective and simple exercise that further brings awareness to your thought process and will aid you to re-direct your thinking to that which is more positive

It will show you the habits of your thinking and make you realise where your mind wanders to…you just need to pull it back again

I offer this exercise to my clients and some of the feedback I’ve had is:

‘’ I can’t believe how many of my thoughts are negative and critical ’’

‘’Although I got annoyed at how many times I had to change the band over, it made me laugh when I realised half of what I was worrying about might not even happen’’

‘’My wife and I are now doing this together, I want my dad to do it too and he is so negative’’ (of course this in itself is a negative thought and the band has to be changed over to the opposite wrist)

You can read additional feedback about my services, techniques and the results gained from working with me.

Have fun along the way catching yourself; the more you practice the more you get your head and heart in balance.

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes – Carl Jung

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From my heart you yours,

With Love,

X Wendy

23 Nov

How Do You Experience Love?

An open heart is an open mind – Dalai Lama

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How Do You Experience Love?

There are so many ways to experience love, it will be different for each and everyone reading this.

One way of experiencing love is to be ‘in the moment’. Fully alive and receptive with where you are in time and space. Using your senses to be in touch with the moment (seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting)

You are able to enjoy the feeling of love flowing through you with ease when you are fully present.

Neither being caught up with thinking about the past, or worrying about the future, simply accepting the present moment just as it is through heart centred awareness.

There are so many ways to connect in with your heart space and experience joy and love….

  • Self love/Self compassion
  • Simply ‘being’ in the absence of doing
  • Heart focused meditation
  • Love of another
  • Love of family
  • Love of a pet
  • Love of your work/vocation
  • Love of nature/gardening
  • Love of knowledge
  • Love of music
  • Love of people
  • Love of a hobby
  • Love of exercise
  • Love of reading/writing/journaling
  • Love of stillness/meditation
  • Love of life

 

How do you experience the flow of love in you?

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Flow is the feeling of wholeness, connection, contentment, just being in love with life and all that is regardless of external circumstances.

When you are in peak flow you are in your heart and there is no greater place to be.

Need some help in getting out of your head and into your heart?  I have a range of services and programmes to suit your needs www.bepositive.me.uk

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart Helen Keller