Category Archives: Joy

19 Feb

For the Love of Friendship

Friends are the family we choose to have in our lives.  Those all important people who with whom to share the highs and the lows and the roller coaster we call life.

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I’m often inspired to share in my blogs, real life events and today, out of the blue was surprised by a friend popping in on the off chance to see me and boy am I pleased I was in, albeit hanging out the washing with no milk in.  Friend’s don’t care if you hair is a mess, your home in disarray and there are no posh biscuits to share, they are there for you and meet you wherever you are.

What does the word friend or friendship mean to you?  

When you think about your own special family of friends, who comes to mind?  

How long have you know each other?

What similarities and interests do you share?

How did you come to meet?

What have you been through together?

What are your happiest memories shared? 

When was the last time you shared from your heart openly that you love your friends?

What’s your next available chance to make plans to meet with your friends? 

Time can’t be banked, exchanged or extended and before you know it time will fly…

Like my friend and I, life and circumstances took us to different parts of the country, each of us doing our own thing and yet coming together as if it was just yesterday we met.   With much chin wagging, hugs, laughter and tears we were able to fill in the blanks as to just how we have been sending our time.

There’s something truly special about friends and the best way I can describe it is like having a heart centred connection which stays in place and whenever life might take you that connection is a bond never broken.

Whether it’s been a month, a year or indeed years you have been out of contact with friends, coming together to meet each other exactly where you’re each at, will bring much joy to your heart.

Reach out today and make a plan to connect and share your journey with your friends.

Time passes quickly – real friendship lasts forever…

04 Feb

Happiness is Free

Happiness really is only ever a thought away….

According to Wikipedia:  ”Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy”

Happiness and joy just happen to be two of my favourite feelings, how about you?

What makes you happy?

Which memories are your happiest?

Who do you find yourself in the company of who makes you happy?

When you find yourself at your happiest, what are you thinking, doing or saying?

When was the last time you found yourself being joyous, happy, content?

If you could define the feeling of happiness on your terms, what does it look like, feel like and sound like for you?

What can you do today (taking full responsibility) to make yourself happier? 

 

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Get in touch with the feelings of happiness inside your body right now and imagine you have a dial which you can turn up to increases the level of happy feelings, do that in your mind right now, turn the dial up, make the picture of happiness brighter, sharper, clearer, stronger….

Turn up the feelings of happiness, right the way up, let the feeling grow and expand throughout your body….

Turn up the sounds of happiness inside your own mind and around you, make them louder, more defined, clearer.

If there is any smell or taste associated with happiness for you turn those senses up too….

Remember…Happiness is only ever a thought away!  Act as if and enjoy the feelings of joy and happiness right now.

And just for fun I share with you one of my favourite verses:

Smiling is infectious

You catch it like the flu

When someone smiled at me today

I started smiling too

I walked around the corner

And someone saw me grin

When he smiled I realised

I had passed it on to him

I thought about the smile

And then realised its worth

A single smile like mine

Could travel round the earth

So if you feel a smile begin

Don’t leave it undetected

Start an epidemic

And get the world infected.

Author Unknown (copied from ‘Poetic Expressions’)

So wishing you all a happy weekend ahead and remember happiness is not a destination, it is a journey.

With love from my heart to yours,

Wendy

www.wendyfry.com Helping you to get to the heart of your love and relationship problems

 

23 Jan

Wellness or Illness – What’s Your Focus?

Whether you’re reading this in the morning or at the end of your day, I invite you to take a moment and reflect on your thoughts for the day ahead or the thoughts you have had.  Is your anticipated day one of dread, doom and gloom or thinking back over your day has your focus been on wellness or illness?

Wellness isn’t just about physical health, our minds are powerful creators and depending on the direction of our thoughts they can either lift us up or pull us down.   It’s the same for illness.  No one wants to be ill, feel poorly or out of sorts though what we can do is focus on getting well, taking actions to help ourselves by eating the right foods, exercising, getting out in nature and taking our intention to one of healing and wellness.

If for any reason you can’t physically get out to do these things what you can do is to take your mind on an amazing holiday as often as you like until you feel re-charged and energised.  If the Caribbean is your desired location take your mind there right now, notice the blue of the sky, the feel of the warm sand on your feet, the smell of the sea, the taste of salt in your mouth from swimming or resting at the waters edge,  the sound of the waves lapping on the sure…hmmm….bliss wouldn’t you agree.

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It’s true to say many people walk about ‘unconsciously’, meaning they may not even be aware of there thoughts until someone like me comes along and asks…”are your thoughts working for you, yes or no?”  If what you are thinking makes you feel lousy, the good news is you can change your thoughts, after all you are the creator of your thoughts are you not?

In my line of work I get to meet some amazing people who are ready to master their thoughts as well as their lives.  These people have woken up from the unconscious walking around letting their negative thoughts rule them and instead show up ready to unlearn the negative hypnotising they have been doing to themselves.

Words are powerful creators, including the words we say in our heads as well as the ones we speak and share.  Would you really talk to another person the way you do to yourself?

It’s not until we explore our negative thoughts and patterns of behaviour including our thinking do we become enlightened that we have the choice.  We can focus on illness or wellness, it’s really quite simple.

I invite you to make a pact with yourself from today, whenever you find yourself going off on a tangent or thinking about the things that make you feel drained, unhappy, angry, fearful or emotionally upset, change your focus to the thoughts which lift you up.  Give yourself a healthy dose of encouragement, support, reassurance, love and kindness and notice how much better you feel when you turn your thoughts to wellness.

Here to guide you are the key questions from The Spotlight Process.  A unique technique which I have developed to bring your thoughts into balance.

1. Where is my thinking right now? (Past, Present or Future?)

2. What proportion of my thinking is negative?

3. How does it affect me when I focus on the negative?

4. Where is the evidence that what I think will happen will happen?

5. What do I want instead of thinking or feeling this way?

6. Coming from my heart instead of my head what would love do here?

Need a helping hand to further master your thoughts? There is a whole chapter on The Spotlight Process in my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE along with a chapter on EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to support you in finding emotional freedom.

Because I love to give and want you to succeed this guided meditation ‘Negative Memory Release’ will support you in moving forwards towards health and wellness.  It’s the first download you come to when you reach the downloads page, scroll down until you find it.  Enjoy…

So, love your day and love your life by simply changing your thoughts.

Your future self will thank you for it…

From my heart to yours, with love,

Wendy

 

 

 

09 Jan

When Nothing is Certain….

Everything is possible…

So many times different people both friends and clients have said to me ‘what if i can’t?’, my answer is always, ‘what if you can?’

Limits exist only in the mind, what we believe to be true becomes an end result or in some cases no result at all.

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It’s true to say in life there are often many challenges that come at unexpected times and also the events we know will happen with certainty that we have to prepare for.

Here are just a few examples of where people get stuck in their thinking:

  1. It’s impossible
  2. I’m too old
  3. No one will want me
  4. I’m not experienced enough
  5. All my relationships have failed
  6. I keep attracting the wrong types
  7. I don’t have the money
  8. I don’t have the energy
  9. It’s hopeless
  10. I can’t do it

I’m sure you get the picture and perhaps by even reading those few short statements your energy has slumped, you feel defeated, negative, unhappy.  Words are powerful and it’s the words we say to ourselves inwardly and outwardly that contribute to feeling stuck and often if were’re feeling stuck we take no action because we are in a place of fear often trapped in the past and scared it will repeat itself.

So here are my re-frames I offer when I hear the kinds of complaints above:

  1. How do you know?
  2. Compared to whom?
  3. Where is the evidence of this?
  4. What can you do to gain the experience you need?
  5. What have you learnt from these relationships?
  6. If you were to focus on the ‘right types’ what is the right type for you?
  7. What other resources are open to you to achieve what you want?
  8. If you did have the energy what’s the first thing you’d do, how will that one small action benefit you?
  9. What do you want instead of that feeling of hopelessness?
  10. Get rid of the T in can’t and you can

It’s an interesting fact to share…

We are not our thoughts though our thoughts will ultimately take us closer to a desired outcome or further away.

So on that note…

  • What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
  • What will this look like, feel like and sound like to you?
  • Looking back on how you achieved this how did you do it?
  • What advice would your ‘future self’ give you in order to get started?
  • If you were to become your own best friend what would you say to yourself which offers support, encouragement and praise along the way?
  • What’s one thought, action and deed you can take today which will take you closer to your desire?

Remember you can be, do and have anything you set your mind to and when your thinking tells you otherwise tell it to ‘go and do one!’ or something similar.

You are not your thoughts.  You are a magnificent creator and your dreams can be part of your reality and experience.

Begin today acting as if and work backwards…

Happiness, success, love, career progression, whatever it is you want is only ever a thought away

03 Jan

Mirror, Mirror…..

Life is but a reflection of our beliefs, hopes and fears. What we say to ourselves inside our own minds and outwardly does indeed influence our futures. What we think we can or can’t do eventually comes to pass.

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Not so many years ago I had a dream; I left my day job and perused a career which in actual fact is a vocation, a joy, a way of being. Many told me to get a ‘proper job’ or even a part time job to tide me over. Some said ‘it’s too risky’, others ‘too competitive’, others simply rolled their eyes and thought I’d lost the plot.

The truth is I had faith in myself from day one that I could achieve my dreams. I didn’t sit back waiting for the dream to happen. I took action, invested in myself, re-trained, read what seems like a million books, prioritised my life, cut out the things I didn’t need, I budgeted, planned, took more action and you know what happened ‘The Universe’ if you believe in such a thing/place/energy saw what I was doing, it listened to my thoughts, it felt my vibration of acting as if this dream had already come to pass and sent a truck load of opportunities my way. Needless to say I had quite a few celebrations along the way.

There are not many who can honestly say they are living a happy life though for me, my life is incredibly happy. Every day I get to do the work I love working with people who also want to live their dreams. Looking back I have achieved so much and you can too.

Begin today by bringing your thinking and feelings into balance. Are you really living the life you want or do you want something different? If it’s the latter, start imagining what it will feel like when you are beyond the goal achievement, when you’ve reached a point in your life when even more beautiful experiences have come to pass because you took action towards your dreams.

Your thoughts become things; begin today by reaching for the higher feeling thought until you can actually feel the joy of living the life you want. You only have to think it and to feel it for it to become a reality. Everything else is part of the ride of discovering your fullest potential.

Begin today and notice what you are reflecting out to the world, if you don’t like the refection, change it. You are the master of your thoughts and your destiny.
Ready to make even deeper lasting change find out how right here

02 Oct

Make Your Life a Masterpiece

It’s no secret life seems to pass by at the blink of an eye.

When you think of your life so far, the highs, the lows, the inbetweens, what stands out the most?

Depending on your answer you will have either gone through your filing cabinet (hard drive) and the inner workings of your mind to select your favourite happy memories or indeed perhaps the files of hardships, difficulties and disappointments came to the fore.

The question I asked wasn’t a trick question, I’m just curious as to how your mind works.   Depending on your mood today your answer might well be different tomorrow.  Your mindset will either create a work of art or indeed a mess.  Your thoughts create our outcomes.  No one thinks you, you are the artist so to speak…’The Thinker’.

Going back to life seeming to pass by at the blink of an eye if you were to begin today living your life on purpose rather than going through the motions what would you start doing, stop doing or do differently?

It’s true to say there may be other people in your life you may need to care for but how much of your life are you really living with joy, happiness, appreciation and happiness?

What opportunities are you missing out on?  If you were to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone just a little, what can you start with, what’s the next step, the next and the one after that?

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Remember some see flowers, others see weeds.  It’s all about perspective.

Make your life a masterpiece, you are the director of your show, the artist of your canvas and the musician of your overture.  Give it everything you’ve got!

 

 

 

19 Sep

The Power of Words

Whether it be the words you think or those you speak, sing, write or withhold all words have power and carry an energetic vibration….

On waking or sleeping the words you think or say aloud often set the tone for your day or the depth of your sleep.  What you say in haste without thinking may cut someone to the core and the words you say with love stick in your nearest and dearest hearts and minds forever.

Once you have learnt the alphabet everything you read or hear is a combination of those twenty six letters and who would have thought those 26 letters could have such power?

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I’ve been thinking a lot about words recently as i’m in the process of writing my second book which by the way is a lot of words.

As well as my own dialogue i’ve been thinking about strangers words, communications from people I know, those shown on media or spoken on TV as well as listening to the words of those whom I esteem to.  The impact words have on us is huge.  The emotional charge of what we hear and speak as well as the physiological feelings experienced when we hear words of criticism or words of praise can last a lifetime and indeed create limiting beliefs based on the meanings we have placed on the words we have heard.

You may have heard about the experiment carried out by Dr Masaru Emoto on Water Molecule Experiment which indicates words are very much alive and contain both positive and negative energy vibration.

On searching for a suitable graphic to post with this blog typing in the search engine ‘words’, I was able to select graphics on stress, anxiety, anger, terrorism, fear, hate and love, (it was interesting to note my own thought reaction and physical response on viewing) you can guess where my focus was when you see this post.

Whatever we feel in any given moment, guaranteed is a result of a thought related to a new experience or one in which we have felt this way before.  Words, just like energy attract.  If we feel loved, appreciated, accepted and respected in any given moment because of what someone has said it’s likely the love bucket and good feeling file starts to overflow.   If words are said in anger it’s likely our filing cabinet or hard drive of all the times someone has shown anger will do a quick search and pull up all the files before we can say ‘hey presto!’ we are down the swanny without a paddle thinking about all the injustices in the world.

So..today and every day, reach for the words which give you a higher feeling thought and keep going from there.  Raise your vibration using those 26 little letters and take your focus to joy, love, happiness, calm, contentment and connection.  Talking of which, thank you for connecting with me here today.

Oh and remember the words you think are like having a bad case of the farts, if you are angry everyone gets a stink of it and the same way if your vibration is on joy (even though they don’t really smell of roses) you might find the seat next to you on the tube is always taken, random people talk to you and smile, you make friends easily and the right circumstances and people show up in your life.

Words have power!  Choose them wisely.

From my heart to yours with love x

ohh…and here just for you feel free to download the free chapter on Beliefs from my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE, simply add your details to the pop up box which loads after a few seconds and begin exploring where your limiting beliefs  and self-sabotage comes from.  Chances are they don’t even belong to you but based on the words spoken to you from way back when.

 

13 Sep

Every Day An Anniversary

Every day is an anniversary of some other day.

Some say time is immeasurable and doesn’t exist though as you’re sitting there right now reading this, let’s celebrate the fact you are alive and very much present in this time and space.  Whether you’re reading this on your phone on the tube, from home on your PC or tablet, or if you’re following this page and reading in your email today is your day and the anniversary of you showing up day after day and wouldn’t you agree that’s worth a celebratory high five, bow, shimmy or even a glass of fizz.

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Just today it made me realise how quickly time passes.  My dad has been married to my stepmother for 30 years today also on this day 6 years ago my lovely neighbour Norma was laid to rest.  This time last year I was in hospital awaiting an operation, I was also launching my first book woo hoo!

September happens to be one of my favourite months as the leaves start to change colour and horse chestnuts (conkers) are getting themselves ready for picking and a conker fight or two.

So today and every day reflect on your past and ponder the happy anniversaries and also the anniversaries of hardships you have overcome, achievements made, projects completed, operations you’ve survived, hills you’ve climbed, risks taken, words spoken, commitments made and acknowledge although time stands still apparently for no man (or woman come to that) just take a moment to acknowledge every day is the anniversary of some other day.

If you find yourself remembering anniversaries with sadness, regret, anger or love, welcome all your emotions, it shows you, you are alive and that you’ve lived and loved.  Feel what you need to feel and know this day too will pass as will tomorrow and the next day too.

Every day may not be a good day but there will be something good in every day…look for it, seek it, find it!

Make every day a day to remember and make time to celebrate you!

Happy Anniversary – You are amazing!

 

05 Sep

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

I wonder how many of you remember the song ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ by Bobby McFerrin?  You can listen in right here  as you read this blog post…

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What is this happiness lark you might say!  You might even go a little further and find yourself thinking any number of the following responses when it comes to happiness:

How can I be happy when XYZ has gone wrong

How can I be happy when XYZ is bound to be a disaster

How can I be happy after what he/she did to me

How can I be happy when it’s inevitable XYZ will happen

Happiness isn’t long lasting, something always happens to me to ruin it

I hear you and believe me I know what’s it’s like to be unhappy, it’s part of human experience just as much as happiness is.  What might make me unhappy you might be okay with or vice versa.   I personally believe happiness is a choice as are your thoughts.  No one thinks you and you are in control of what you think and what goes on inside your grey matter…

You might be wondering why I decided to write a post about happiness when there are so many other wonderful or miserable things to write about, well the truth is just yesterday someone said to me ‘I don’t think we’d make a good match, you’re one of those constantly happy people, I prefer a degree of cynicism’.  Now I could have taken this as a complete blow, thrown all my toys out of the pram, argued as to why I choose happiness and tried to convince the other person why for me I prefer to be happy rather than cynical.  I did none of this and I simply said ‘I hear you and I agree we wouldn’t make a great match, best of luck and enjoy your weekend ahead’…woops, I did it again and finished the interaction with a burst of happiness.

So despite the outcome this chappy actually inspired me with his comments and I want to thank him as it’s given me the title of today’s blog post.

As we begin the working week my best advice is don’t carry last week’s dirty laundry into this week, today is a brand new day, it hasn’t happened yet (except maybe in your thinking) If you’ve been dreading getting back to the school run, getting on the train that is always late, getting stuck in traffic, seeing your boss or co-workers miserable faces my best advice is…don’t worry, be happy!

You are the master of your destiny, you are the controller of your thoughts, you are the one who can change your thinking by replacing negative thoughts for happy ones.

Take yourself to the end of your working day, how do you feel when you have chosen the happy response, what do you hear inside your own mind when you choose happiness, what do you see when you look through your happy glasses, what did you enjoy the smell or taste of when you chose things which made you happy, what did you sense when whatever the outcome of others people’s actions, words and behaviours you simply decided to not worry and be happy?

It’s estimated it takes 72 muscles to frown and 13 to smile…what are you choosing for yourself today and every day?

The original recording of the song Don’t Worry, Be Happy, was recorded by Bob Marley you can check it out on You Tube or download to your phone so wherever you go you always choose happiness…if you want to 🙂

 

29 Aug

The Best of Friends

When you think of the word friend or friendship who or what comes to mind?

I love using a Thesaurus and found the following meanings in terms of friendship and the components of what we might mutually bring to a relationship with friends.  Reading through how many of these statements resonate with you and the friendships you’re blessed with?

  • accord
  • affection
  • agreement
  • closeness
  • devotion
  • harmony
  • intimacy
  • love
  • rapport
  • understanding
  • affinity
  • amiability
  • company
  • consideration
  • empathy
  • fondness
  • friendliness
  • sodality

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I don’t know about you but I personally have the best of friends and have known many of them for over 35 years, oh boy, that makes me feel a little old though all things considered my friendships have lasted longer than my relationships.

Friends come in all shapes and sizes, nationalities, ages, sexes with common goals and aims or opposing opinions.  I can understand the term ‘friends for life’ as so many of us are blessed with life long friendships from the day we form the friendship until the day we die, so many wonderful experiences can be shared with friends.

I invite you to take a moment today to honour your friendships and acknowledge them in some way, whether it be a call,  meeting up, sending a greeting by social media or indeed sharing this blog post just to say ‘thank you for being my friend.’

It’s often our friends who are there for us in our darkest hours and who are the first to want to celebrate our successes.

So on that note to all my wonderful friends, I love you, thank you for being in my life, you are the best!