Category Archives: Mentoring

24 Feb

All in a Day’s Work

The mere mention of the word ‘work’ might be a trigger for some of you. The thought of working being all toil, blood, sweat and tears, relentless, unforgiving and stressful.  That is until that is you make your work, work for you.

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Give yourself a moment to reflect on the following work related questions.  Take stock of where you are, what’s working and what isn’t working and what you will benefit from changing.

  • What made you choose the line of work you’re in?
  • How did the job you are in come to be?
  • What do you hate about your job?
  • What do you love?
  • What would happen if the things you hate about your job you spent less time focusing on and spent more time appreciating the aspects which you enjoy?
  • What stops you creating a different outcome for yourself whether that be changing your line of work into another type of employment or speaking assertively and with positive intention to your boss about proposed changes to your workload and career progression?
  • If you could do anything, absolutely anything what kind of work would you choose for yourself without the supposed obstacles that are in your way?
  • If you want to be self employed and have been procrastinating about taking a leap of faith  what is it that stops you giving up the day job and building your own empire?
  • Are your beliefs about what you can do, be and have inspiring you to take action or holding you back even further, if so what are the more empowering beliefs you can choose for yourself?
  • What’s the cost if you do nothing to change your present situation?
  • Are you willing to pay that price?

I don’t have the answers to these questions as they will be personal to you though what I do know is if you spend time worrying about the week ahead on a Sunday night and the rest of your working week you’re clock watching and willing for that Friday feeling to come round quicker, you’re not making time to appreciate the good times in between.

If you’re gossiping in your tea break about your boss and other staff members who rile you, you’re reliving a past experience as if it was happening all over again, truth is it’s your gossiping about it that makes the situation worse, not the actual event itself.  If you take your work worries home and vent at your partner chances are your relationship will turn sour too.

Yes, we can all be triggered by different things, work, our boss, colleagues not pulling their weight, commuting, repetitive work, lack of clients, emails and calls not being replied to and generally feeling at war with the world and everyone in it, though remember, it’s not the trigger that’s the problem it’s the meaning you place on the trigger and the ‘stories and beliefs’ you build up about them.  The time and energy wasted focusing on the negatives you can never get back.

Tell a different story, focus on what you love about your work, explore how you can make practical changes to your workload, ask for help, take risks and most of all dare to live, dare to be, dare to use your skills to their fullest and most of all dare to live your life with passion and purpose.

I hope you enjoy my little acronym for work

W illingness to learn new things
O penminded about possibilities
R isk taker and change maker
K ick A*ss and then kick some more a*ss

Do the work you love and you won’t work a day in your life!

Offering a range of stress management techniques, supporting you to get clear on your focus and holding you accountable to achieve your dreams, begin by saying yes to you!

I’m here to help you get started www.bepositive.me.uk 

When you’re ready to make your Monday Magical rather than ‘Just Another Manic Monday’ (The Bangles) contact me to work on getting past your past and making your future a happier place to be.

It’s time to kick some a*ss.

31 Oct

Meeting Your Mentors

The first mentor I had in my life was my mother. Who she was and how I related to her and her mentoring and mothering have shaped my life. I’m ever grateful for my learnings and the wisdom I have gained through her teachings.

When I say the word ‘Mentor’ who comes to mind for you? Is it your mother or someone else entirely?


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There have been other mentors in my life such as my father, my brother, uncles, aunts, school teachers, neighbours, friends and as i’ve gone through life also mentors who I have esteemed to on a professional level. Pretty much everyone we interact with could be classed as a mentor as we are learning from them (good or bad)

Life is about learning, it’s an experience we can’t avoid until of course we are no longer on this earthly plane. What we take from life and the meanings we place on our experiences creates outcomes and further experiences depending on our beliefs about who we are and what we can achieve.

I’m coming up to the half a century mark (goodness knows where the time has gone) though it’s a great time to stop and reflect on my life and I invite you to do the same:

• Who has made the most positive impact in your life?
• What have you overcome with the help of others?
• Who are you eternally grateful to for the support, love and encouragement they have shown you?
• When in your life have you felt your best and who helped you to achieve this?
• What are the life experiences you have encountered which have made you the person you are today?
• Reflecting on your past who and what are you grateful for?
• Looking towards your future what would your current self say to your future self?
• Thinking about the rest of your life and knowing too, you are your own best mentor. What will you start doing, stop doing and do differently to make the rest of your life the best of your life?

 

We never know what path we will walk when we are born into this world and our experiences can make us or break us. The fact that you are reading this means you are made up of courage, determination, strength and love, oh and stardust! You have the ability to continue ever onwards living your life on purpose and mentoring yourself along the way to check you are on track.

The mentors in our lives help us, support us and encourage us and we too play a big hand in what we choose to do with their guidance. Decide today if you are to be your very own personal mentor what is the first thing you will say to yourself? and the next, and the next and the next? What is the first action you will take? and the next and the next and the next? When you commit to yourself to make your past work for you so much can be gained.

I am ever grateful for the mentors in my life and I have listed them in my next book Mothers and Daughters: The guide to understanding and transforming the relationship with your mother

With loving thanks to my mother Jeanette and father Paul who gave me the gift of life and my brother Colin who taught me how to shape some funky dance moves when the going gets tough.  Massive hugs to my wonderful friends especially ‘THE HOGS’ (Girlfriends with Hearts of Gold) Gill Shaw, Ann Whittaker, Deborah Marshall, Joanna Emmerson, Maaike Vlamm, Lucy Moreton, Lisa Rackham and Caroline Maidment, you are the best!

Special thanks goes to Olive Webb who was like a second mum to me; Olive picked me up many times when I fell down and always with love.  Heartfelt gratitude goes out to Margaret Biggs, Helen Stanbridge, Jane Taylor, Curly Martin, Lexie Bebbington, Anne Jirsch, Sasha Allenby, Monica Cafferky and Sharon King.  To all the people who have caused me pain and discomfort in my life, without the challenges and experiences I had with you, I may never have found the path leading me to do the work I love – so I thank you.

I’ve come a long way because of the people I met and have been blessed by many to receive their help and support as well as their love, encouragement and guidance.  It’s been a gift to have found them, or maybe they found me…

Not always one to blow my own trumpet there’s no time like the present to also recognise I’ve got to where I am through my own determination and I invite you to do the same.

Take a bow, salute yourself and do the happy dance in acknowledgement of just how far you’ve come.  Here’s looking forward to the next half a century and the wonderful mentors and experiences we have yet to discover.