Tag Archives: bereavement

26 Mar

Happy Other Mother’s Day

To all the ‘other mothers’, those special people who find us in our time of need, who love and accept us unconditionally for who we are, I give thanks to you today and every day.

March 26th in the UK is traditionally Mother’s Day.  A day to give thanks to the woman who gave birth to us and to acknowledge her and the gifts she has shared.  It is my hope that you have a wonderful relationship with your mother and enjoy each others company and  mutual love and respect.

Not all of us are lucky enough to have strong bonds with our mothers, for some they do not know of their birth mothers for others they are estranged and in conflict, many are bereft of their mothers in physical form and for some grieving the relationship they hoped for though I think it’s fair to say every woman on the planet has experienced the love of ‘another mother’.

Other mothers are those women who love us unconditionally and accept us for who we are warts and all.  They pick us up in times of need, hold us when we are at our wits end and encourage us to be our best.  They save us from ourselves on the darkest of nights and the hardest of days.  In short these women are amazing, angels in the physical form with hearts of gold who with their presence, for however long they are in our lives enable us to feel loved, valued, appreciated and held dear.

I have been so blessed to experience the love of ‘other mother’s’ throughout my life and I sincerely hope as you are reading this your mind wonders to the beautiful women who have graced your life and helped you on your way.

So whether it’s a step-mother, mother-in-law, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, landlady, teacher, college, therapist, friend, nurse, support worker or indeed a mother figure in spirit let us take a moment collectively together to acknowledge the love of those very special other mothers.

To be loved unconditionally is the greatest gift we can give to each other.  Where there is love there is hope and truth and light..

Thank you, other mothers for your love, your time and care, within me is part of you and your love of which I am ever grateful.

From my heart to yours with love x

Wendy 

 

18 Mar

Love Lives On…

This week I am reminded at the fragility of life and what may seem like the permanence of death.

Close friends are grieving the loss of loved ones and are in shock, unable to process what has happened, while others have the anniversaries of the deaths of their loved ones passing which evokes all kinds of memories both happy and sad.

As we approach Mother’s Day here in the UK there are many of us who no longer have the presence of a physical Mother and we may grieve not only the relationship as it was though also the relationship we hoped for.

We will each find comfort in different ways.  For myself when grief hits and it often does at unexpected moments I simply acknowledge that my grief is an indication that there is love ever present in the moment.

We are each blessed with the gift of life.  How we use the gift and the 86,400 seconds in a day is personal to us.  We can choose to celebrate the precious moments shared with others and the gift of life we have within us or betroth our self to holding onto pain, sadness and loss.

Take a moment and consider your loved one who has come to pass from the physical plane, what would they want for you right now?

Would they want you to be unhappy or would they say ”thank you for the good times, it was a pleasure to connect with you in time and space, now go and live your life to the fullest, I will be here cheering you on from the sidelines”  

Life is for living and loving.  Remembering the loved ones we have lost with love keeps their memory alive in our hearts and minds.  Death is nothing at all.

I share with you this beautiful poem written by Henry Scott Holland.  It is my hope you find comfort in the words and consider as a result how you choose to live today.

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

As always my  blog posts come straight from my heart with love,

x Wendy

 

23 Nov

Are you still learning about love?

The Beatles sang ‘All You Need is Love’ but to love or not to love, that is the question?  When we are hurt and a relationship ends,  often the thought of ever loving someone again or being loved may seem like an impossible dream, is this true for you?

We all crave love in our lives, though sometimes love can be painful and that can create fear of ever loving again.  We are stuck between a rock and a hard place, uncertain of the future, unsure of our lovability or even our capacity to love again.

We may beat ourselves up and say things like ‘when will I learn to trust my instincts he/she was wrong for me from the start’ , we may berate ourselves and tell ourselves ‘I’m stupid to have ever trusted again’, we might wonder ‘what am I doing wrong?’and ‘why do I keep attracting the same type of partner?’  We might feel hopeless about love and relationships and steer clear of forming new ones based on past experiences and fear that the past will repeat itself again.

  • How much of the 86,400 seconds in your day is taken up worrying, anguishing and thinking about love and relationships? 
  • How much thought and air time do you give to talking about love when things go bad? 
  • How do your thoughts affect you physically, emotionally, spiritually?
  • Does love despair spill over into your working life?
  • What’s the cost of keeping hold of the thoughts and feelings about love and relationships that you may be having right now?

loves me loves me not daisy

  • What are you willing to change?
  • What actions can you take that would  make you feel better than you do right now?
  • How will you know when you’ve worked through your love and relationship problems and feel ready to love again?
  • What will that look like, feel like, sound like for you?
  • If you were to focus on what is possible in terms of love and relationships and you took actions to implement all that can be, how would your life be different?
  • Need some help in getting started?

As a love and relationship expert, many of my clients say ‘how long will it take to get over this?’ My answer is, it’s different for each and every person. When a relationship ends, it is always an opportunity for careful exploration of ‘the self’ and what may contribute to making the wrong choices from the start.

When you look inside and work though the things that may have contributed to love and relationship problems, well that’s the best relationship investment you will ever make.  Instead of looking outside of ourselves for love, acceptance, approval and a sense of self, it’s Important to do the ‘inner work’ and explore how we each operate in and out of a love relationship.

Find YOU, Find LOVE http://goo.gl/crnvoZ  is my first book about love and relationships and focuses on the relationship you have with yourself.  It’s a workbook full of practical exercises and techniques that help you explore your past and what may be contributing to love and relationship problems for you right now.

There is a full love and relationship inventory in the book, or you can download here for free http://www.wendyfry.com/resources   Use the inventory to gather the information that will help you work through your love and relationship beliefs.

You may need some support after completing the inventory to work towards transforming past doubts and future fears, though in doing so, you will gain a greater sense of self and in turn be confident that who you are is lovable regardless of the past circumstances and events that will have shaped you life up to now.

If you’d like to work with me in person in Surrey or over Skype, please do make contact to discover how The Spotlight Process and EFT (The Emotional Freedom Technique) can get you back on track. If you need some 1-2-1 support and guidance please do contact me direct to see how I can be of support to you via http://www.wendyfry.com

Still learning about Love?  If you want to take control of your future, resolve the past and make the rest of your life the best of your life.  Choose Find YOU, Find LOVE, in doing so you will find yourself, an endless fountain of love and joy that you may not have even been aware of.

x