Tag Archives: conflict

26 Mar

Happy Other Mother’s Day

To all the ‘other mothers’, those special people who find us in our time of need, who love and accept us unconditionally for who we are, I give thanks to you today and every day.

March 26th in the UK is traditionally Mother’s Day.  A day to give thanks to the woman who gave birth to us and to acknowledge her and the gifts she has shared.  It is my hope that you have a wonderful relationship with your mother and enjoy each others company and  mutual love and respect.

Not all of us are lucky enough to have strong bonds with our mothers, for some they do not know of their birth mothers for others they are estranged and in conflict, many are bereft of their mothers in physical form and for some grieving the relationship they hoped for though I think it’s fair to say every woman on the planet has experienced the love of ‘another mother’.

Other mothers are those women who love us unconditionally and accept us for who we are warts and all.  They pick us up in times of need, hold us when we are at our wits end and encourage us to be our best.  They save us from ourselves on the darkest of nights and the hardest of days.  In short these women are amazing, angels in the physical form with hearts of gold who with their presence, for however long they are in our lives enable us to feel loved, valued, appreciated and held dear.

I have been so blessed to experience the love of ‘other mother’s’ throughout my life and I sincerely hope as you are reading this your mind wonders to the beautiful women who have graced your life and helped you on your way.

So whether it’s a step-mother, mother-in-law, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, landlady, teacher, college, therapist, friend, nurse, support worker or indeed a mother figure in spirit let us take a moment collectively together to acknowledge the love of those very special other mothers.

To be loved unconditionally is the greatest gift we can give to each other.  Where there is love there is hope and truth and light..

Thank you, other mothers for your love, your time and care, within me is part of you and your love of which I am ever grateful.

From my heart to yours with love x

Wendy 

 

18 Oct

Keeping Mum

Since the 14th Century people have been talking (or rather not talking) about ”keeping mum”.

So what exactly is this blog post about you might wonder…

woman-1445917_1280

Keeping ”mum” can refer to silence and also a mother.

Now, It’s a universal truth we all have had a mother…

As much as you might like to change your mother, transforming your relationship with her and coming to terms with your past, ultimately begins with you.

If you are experiencing familiar emotions like anger, sadness, guilt, blame or shame, please understand that you are not alone in your search for your mother’s approval, acceptance and love and you no longer need to keep ”mum” and keep it all inside.

With no ‘Dummies Guide’ available to help  you make peace with your mother and move on from past pain, I realised the importance of writing an informative and practical self-help guide specifically aimed at daughters to help them find emotional release, gain personal closure and an understanding of how all daughters’ lives are shaped through the mother-daughter experience.

I want you to know, that it is possible to move beyond the pain you feel inside.  It is possible to move on from your disappointments, regrets, feeling that you are unappreciated, unloved and misunderstood.  It is possible to work towards accepting your mother – warts and all and in turn, you will ease the pain of the past and realise you are worth loving.

Each of you reading this will have your own story when it comes to your mother and for mothers reading this, your story about your daughter will be unique to you.  Our personal realities are based on what we each individually experience and the perceptions and beliefs we filter through.

It is my intention to help you to bring balance to your thinking, guiding you to react and respond to your mother in a way which serves you better and by doing so; you will understand and transform your relationship at the deepest level.

What does the word ‘Mother’ mean to you? When I use the term “mum’’ or “mother’’, I refer to your childhood mother, your mother at the time she raised you.  This may also include a step mother, foster or adoptive mother or ‘other mother figure’ that cared for you.

Until your ‘mother stuff’ is understood and healed, the inner and outer conflicts you have or once had remain a burden.  I reach out to you and offer to share the strategies which have helped in my relationship with my own mother and also the wonderfully open women I have had the privilege to work with in my second book Mothers and Daughters: The guide to understanding and transforming the relationship with your mother

Over the coming weeks my blog will feature and introduce some of the topics covered in Mothers and Daughters.  So if you’ve had enough of ”keeping mum”, this blog and my book are a great place to start making the changes which enable you to feel heard, understood, accepted and loved for who you are.

Regardless of your past, you need not let it shape your future, stay with me and I will show you how.

27 Jul

Friends Matter

Many people say ‘you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends’ so this weeks blog is all about friendships and indeed how friendships bring love and laughter into our lives.

grouplaughing

Think back over the years, right back to childhood and remember the various friendships that you’ve made.

Perhaps you are still friends with people from your primary years, childhood sweethearts or even neighbours that you grew up with?

I was talking to a client recently who said that she has different friends for different things.  This makes absolute sense!  If you love bungee jumping, white water rafting and adrenalin sports and your girlfriends don’t it’s time to perhaps consider finding ‘your tribe’.

A tribe is a group of people who often share the same values, beliefs, common goals and who are supportive to you.

  • Who do you have in your tribe right now?
  • What do you love the most about these friendships?
  • How do the people who are in your tribe provide you with what you need?
  • What do you offer to these connections and friendships that your tribe enjoys receiving?
  • How does having this connection bring fulfilment to your life?

Perhaps you are a parent and enjoy coffee mornings after you’ve dropped your children off to school.

Maybe you tend to hang out with work colleagues after work for a drink or bite to eat.

What groups and societies do you belong to where like minded souls gather?

Who do you enjoy being with the most?

How are you spending your spare time?

Are you doing enough of what makes you happy?

If you don’t have the equivalent of a tribe I can guarantee to you that once you get clear about how you like to spend your time you can either set up your own tribe or find out where there are tribes already set up doing what you love.

So if it’s walking, photography, arts and crafts, Zumba, train spotting, candle making, an interest in Dr Who, music, dance, ladies who lunch, dating sites, Reiki shares, choirs, tap dancing, flying light aircraft, running groups or writing blogs to connect others together.  There is someone just like you waiting to meet you!

My friends consist of a group of girls (well women now) that I have know for over 20 years, we meet for coffees, meals cinema trips, movie nights in, clubbing on the odd occasion (though now I no longer dance on tables they still tease me with the tales of it!)  We call each other The HOGS (Girlfriends With Hearts of Gold)

We have a good old gossip, laugh hysterically and we are also there with a listening ear when personal health or family issues come up.

I have other tribes for the spiritual aspect of my work who help me to develop both personally  and professionally.  These are other therapists, people who are involved in holistic health care who share the same skills as myself who are Hypnotherapists, EFT and Future Life Progression Practitioners, Life Coaches, Speakers and trainers.

meditation laughing

If you feel you’re lacking in the friendship department or have had difficult friendships as many do, it’s never too late to move on from the past and to make new friends or work towards improving current relationships and friendships.

Much of my work covers relationships with others as well as the relationship that we all have with ourselves.

I work with individuals, couples, families and friends, helping each person to understand their unique beliefs about friendships and relationships. We explore communication styles and how to ask assertively for what we need in that relationship or friendship.

Our early relationships often shape our current ones and we can also explore how the past may influence the future addressing any misunderstandings about love, relationships and friendships.

If you’d like some help in making closer relationship connections with family, friends or indeed a new tribe and improving your confidence to take the actions to meet others who would love to meet you.  Please do make contact Here

I offer a range of free resources that you might like to use in your own time, download them at www.wendyfry.com 

Here’s to making a connection with like-minded people because friends matter!

teddy-bears-11286_1280 (2)

Wendy Fry Emotional Health, Love & Relationship Consultant, Author of Find YOU, Find LOVE helping you to get to the heart of you love and relationship problems