When was the last time you had a good cry?
It never ceases to amaze me how someone crying might make others feel uncomfortable. They might rush in saying things like:
- Don’t cry
- Pull yourself together
- Don’t let anyone see you crying
- It’s weak to cry
- Don’t get upset
As children we may have been told things like:
- Don’t be a cry baby
- Be a big a big boy/girl
- Pansy and other inappropriate name calling
- You’re pathetic
- Stop snivelling
It’s not long before we internalise all these negative messages and beliefs about why we shouldn’t cry!
The truth is our bodies are designed to release stress and build up of toxins through the secretion of tears. It’s actually healthy to cry.
Perhaps you have found a way to keep a ‘stiff upper lip’ on your feelings keeping everything in, or maybe you are like me when you are in shock or deeply saddened, you too might shed a bucket load of tears.
If we continually keep emotions in we might find ourselves ‘imploding’ and this continual build up of stress and unexpressed emotions might lead to depression, low mood, sleeplessness, anxiety and a whole host of symptoms where the body tries other ways to release the build up of emotions.
Feeling like we can’t express ourselves in the moment we might also find ourselves exploding in anger and rage at the most inappropriate time.
When you next cry and someone tells you not to, it might be interesting to ask them ”what is it about my tears, that makes you uncomfortable?”
Your tears, upset and emotions may well evoke in someone else the unresolved emotions they have not released, triggering off their own sadness, loss, grief, anger and the full range of human emotions that we all experience.
There is a lovely scientific study right here if you’re interested in finding out more about the different types of tears and why it’s healthy to release emotional tears.
In my work as a therapist, I have seen grown men, women and children cry. In our work together, they are given the space and freedom to cry , encouraged to express the emotions that have been held in and allowed to vent what they are feeling. Often the unresolved emotions go as far back as childhood when they were fist told not to cry.
There are a range of techniques I offer to aid emotional release though right here in this moment, the first step to coming to tems with how you feel is to join me in saying aloud.
- I give myself permission to feel what I’m feeling
- It’s okay for me to have these emotions
- I allow myself to work through what I’m feeling
Whenever your emotions surface unexpectedly repeat these statements to see you through, grab yourself some soft tissues and allow yourself to cry.
If you need a safe space to work through what you’re feeling, a place where you will be heard and supported I welcome you to make contact. I offer a range of support programmes to suit your individual needs.
If you need help in coming to terms with love and relationships contact me here
For general therapeutic support you can find out more here
Remember crying is good for you.
As ever, from my heart to yours with love,