Tag Archives: love

26 Mar

Happy Other Mother’s Day

To all the ‘other mothers’, those special people who find us in our time of need, who love and accept us unconditionally for who we are, I give thanks to you today and every day.

March 26th in the UK is traditionally Mother’s Day.  A day to give thanks to the woman who gave birth to us and to acknowledge her and the gifts she has shared.  It is my hope that you have a wonderful relationship with your mother and enjoy each others company and  mutual love and respect.

Not all of us are lucky enough to have strong bonds with our mothers, for some they do not know of their birth mothers for others they are estranged and in conflict, many are bereft of their mothers in physical form and for some grieving the relationship they hoped for though I think it’s fair to say every woman on the planet has experienced the love of ‘another mother’.

Other mothers are those women who love us unconditionally and accept us for who we are warts and all.  They pick us up in times of need, hold us when we are at our wits end and encourage us to be our best.  They save us from ourselves on the darkest of nights and the hardest of days.  In short these women are amazing, angels in the physical form with hearts of gold who with their presence, for however long they are in our lives enable us to feel loved, valued, appreciated and held dear.

I have been so blessed to experience the love of ‘other mother’s’ throughout my life and I sincerely hope as you are reading this your mind wonders to the beautiful women who have graced your life and helped you on your way.

So whether it’s a step-mother, mother-in-law, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, landlady, teacher, college, therapist, friend, nurse, support worker or indeed a mother figure in spirit let us take a moment collectively together to acknowledge the love of those very special other mothers.

To be loved unconditionally is the greatest gift we can give to each other.  Where there is love there is hope and truth and light..

Thank you, other mothers for your love, your time and care, within me is part of you and your love of which I am ever grateful.

From my heart to yours with love x

Wendy 

 

18 Mar

Love Lives On…

This week I am reminded at the fragility of life and what may seem like the permanence of death.

Close friends are grieving the loss of loved ones and are in shock, unable to process what has happened, while others have the anniversaries of the deaths of their loved ones passing which evokes all kinds of memories both happy and sad.

As we approach Mother’s Day here in the UK there are many of us who no longer have the presence of a physical Mother and we may grieve not only the relationship as it was though also the relationship we hoped for.

We will each find comfort in different ways.  For myself when grief hits and it often does at unexpected moments I simply acknowledge that my grief is an indication that there is love ever present in the moment.

We are each blessed with the gift of life.  How we use the gift and the 86,400 seconds in a day is personal to us.  We can choose to celebrate the precious moments shared with others and the gift of life we have within us or betroth our self to holding onto pain, sadness and loss.

Take a moment and consider your loved one who has come to pass from the physical plane, what would they want for you right now?

Would they want you to be unhappy or would they say ”thank you for the good times, it was a pleasure to connect with you in time and space, now go and live your life to the fullest, I will be here cheering you on from the sidelines”  

Life is for living and loving.  Remembering the loved ones we have lost with love keeps their memory alive in our hearts and minds.  Death is nothing at all.

I share with you this beautiful poem written by Henry Scott Holland.  It is my hope you find comfort in the words and consider as a result how you choose to live today.

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

As always my  blog posts come straight from my heart with love,

x Wendy

 

19 Feb

For the Love of Friendship

Friends are the family we choose to have in our lives.  Those all important people who with whom to share the highs and the lows and the roller coaster we call life.

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I’m often inspired to share in my blogs, real life events and today, out of the blue was surprised by a friend popping in on the off chance to see me and boy am I pleased I was in, albeit hanging out the washing with no milk in.  Friend’s don’t care if you hair is a mess, your home in disarray and there are no posh biscuits to share, they are there for you and meet you wherever you are.

What does the word friend or friendship mean to you?  

When you think about your own special family of friends, who comes to mind?  

How long have you know each other?

What similarities and interests do you share?

How did you come to meet?

What have you been through together?

What are your happiest memories shared? 

When was the last time you shared from your heart openly that you love your friends?

What’s your next available chance to make plans to meet with your friends? 

Time can’t be banked, exchanged or extended and before you know it time will fly…

Like my friend and I, life and circumstances took us to different parts of the country, each of us doing our own thing and yet coming together as if it was just yesterday we met.   With much chin wagging, hugs, laughter and tears we were able to fill in the blanks as to just how we have been sending our time.

There’s something truly special about friends and the best way I can describe it is like having a heart centred connection which stays in place and whenever life might take you that connection is a bond never broken.

Whether it’s been a month, a year or indeed years you have been out of contact with friends, coming together to meet each other exactly where you’re each at, will bring much joy to your heart.

Reach out today and make a plan to connect and share your journey with your friends.

Time passes quickly – real friendship lasts forever…

23 Jan

Wellness or Illness – What’s Your Focus?

Whether you’re reading this in the morning or at the end of your day, I invite you to take a moment and reflect on your thoughts for the day ahead or the thoughts you have had.  Is your anticipated day one of dread, doom and gloom or thinking back over your day has your focus been on wellness or illness?

Wellness isn’t just about physical health, our minds are powerful creators and depending on the direction of our thoughts they can either lift us up or pull us down.   It’s the same for illness.  No one wants to be ill, feel poorly or out of sorts though what we can do is focus on getting well, taking actions to help ourselves by eating the right foods, exercising, getting out in nature and taking our intention to one of healing and wellness.

If for any reason you can’t physically get out to do these things what you can do is to take your mind on an amazing holiday as often as you like until you feel re-charged and energised.  If the Caribbean is your desired location take your mind there right now, notice the blue of the sky, the feel of the warm sand on your feet, the smell of the sea, the taste of salt in your mouth from swimming or resting at the waters edge,  the sound of the waves lapping on the sure…hmmm….bliss wouldn’t you agree.

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It’s true to say many people walk about ‘unconsciously’, meaning they may not even be aware of there thoughts until someone like me comes along and asks…”are your thoughts working for you, yes or no?”  If what you are thinking makes you feel lousy, the good news is you can change your thoughts, after all you are the creator of your thoughts are you not?

In my line of work I get to meet some amazing people who are ready to master their thoughts as well as their lives.  These people have woken up from the unconscious walking around letting their negative thoughts rule them and instead show up ready to unlearn the negative hypnotising they have been doing to themselves.

Words are powerful creators, including the words we say in our heads as well as the ones we speak and share.  Would you really talk to another person the way you do to yourself?

It’s not until we explore our negative thoughts and patterns of behaviour including our thinking do we become enlightened that we have the choice.  We can focus on illness or wellness, it’s really quite simple.

I invite you to make a pact with yourself from today, whenever you find yourself going off on a tangent or thinking about the things that make you feel drained, unhappy, angry, fearful or emotionally upset, change your focus to the thoughts which lift you up.  Give yourself a healthy dose of encouragement, support, reassurance, love and kindness and notice how much better you feel when you turn your thoughts to wellness.

Here to guide you are the key questions from The Spotlight Process.  A unique technique which I have developed to bring your thoughts into balance.

1. Where is my thinking right now? (Past, Present or Future?)

2. What proportion of my thinking is negative?

3. How does it affect me when I focus on the negative?

4. Where is the evidence that what I think will happen will happen?

5. What do I want instead of thinking or feeling this way?

6. Coming from my heart instead of my head what would love do here?

Need a helping hand to further master your thoughts? There is a whole chapter on The Spotlight Process in my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE along with a chapter on EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to support you in finding emotional freedom.

Because I love to give and want you to succeed this guided meditation ‘Negative Memory Release’ will support you in moving forwards towards health and wellness.  It’s the first download you come to when you reach the downloads page, scroll down until you find it.  Enjoy…

So, love your day and love your life by simply changing your thoughts.

Your future self will thank you for it…

From my heart to yours, with love,

Wendy

 

 

 

09 Jan

When Nothing is Certain….

Everything is possible…

So many times different people both friends and clients have said to me ‘what if i can’t?’, my answer is always, ‘what if you can?’

Limits exist only in the mind, what we believe to be true becomes an end result or in some cases no result at all.

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It’s true to say in life there are often many challenges that come at unexpected times and also the events we know will happen with certainty that we have to prepare for.

Here are just a few examples of where people get stuck in their thinking:

  1. It’s impossible
  2. I’m too old
  3. No one will want me
  4. I’m not experienced enough
  5. All my relationships have failed
  6. I keep attracting the wrong types
  7. I don’t have the money
  8. I don’t have the energy
  9. It’s hopeless
  10. I can’t do it

I’m sure you get the picture and perhaps by even reading those few short statements your energy has slumped, you feel defeated, negative, unhappy.  Words are powerful and it’s the words we say to ourselves inwardly and outwardly that contribute to feeling stuck and often if were’re feeling stuck we take no action because we are in a place of fear often trapped in the past and scared it will repeat itself.

So here are my re-frames I offer when I hear the kinds of complaints above:

  1. How do you know?
  2. Compared to whom?
  3. Where is the evidence of this?
  4. What can you do to gain the experience you need?
  5. What have you learnt from these relationships?
  6. If you were to focus on the ‘right types’ what is the right type for you?
  7. What other resources are open to you to achieve what you want?
  8. If you did have the energy what’s the first thing you’d do, how will that one small action benefit you?
  9. What do you want instead of that feeling of hopelessness?
  10. Get rid of the T in can’t and you can

It’s an interesting fact to share…

We are not our thoughts though our thoughts will ultimately take us closer to a desired outcome or further away.

So on that note…

  • What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
  • What will this look like, feel like and sound like to you?
  • Looking back on how you achieved this how did you do it?
  • What advice would your ‘future self’ give you in order to get started?
  • If you were to become your own best friend what would you say to yourself which offers support, encouragement and praise along the way?
  • What’s one thought, action and deed you can take today which will take you closer to your desire?

Remember you can be, do and have anything you set your mind to and when your thinking tells you otherwise tell it to ‘go and do one!’ or something similar.

You are not your thoughts.  You are a magnificent creator and your dreams can be part of your reality and experience.

Begin today acting as if and work backwards…

Happiness, success, love, career progression, whatever it is you want is only ever a thought away

18 Dec

Staying Sane at Christmas

Christmas for many can be a happy occasion but for others it’s a stressful time of year.

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The classic saying ‘let bygones be bygones’ is often easier said than done.

If your thoughts are on all the things that could go wrong over the festive season guaranteed having the expectation will bring more of the same.

The thing is – you don’t have to do what you’ve always done, you don’t have to think how you’re always thought and you don’t have to act and behave in ways which aren’t helpful to you or anyone else.

It’s natural that we may want to protect ourselves from criticism, the judgement of others, expected arguments and the continuation of a family feud but in reality it can be so different.

Just one small change needs to be made and that change begins with you.

Instead of thinking about what you don’t want, focus on the most positive outcome possible then hold the vision and trust the process that this too will come to pass.

The Spotlight Process will help you to stay sane at Christmas enormously.

You might like to copy out and carry around these questions until they become familiar in your thought pattern.  Instead of responding in the old way, begin afresh by exploring the meaning and beliefs you are placing on an event, experience or in relation to the person you are in conflict with.

1. Where is my thinking right now? (Past, Present or Future?)

2. What proportion of my thinking is negative?

3. How does it affect me when I focus on the negative?

4. Where is the evidence that what I think will happen will happen?

5. What do I want instead of thinking or feeling this way?

6. Coming from my heart instead of my head what would love do here?

Ready to know more about The Spotlight Process and how embracing and applying this process in your life not just at Christmas will change your reality, simply follow this link which will take you to my first book ‘Find YOU, Find LOVE: Get to the heart of love and relationships using EFT.

Here’s to staying sane at Christmas,

From my heart to yours with love,

x Wendy

18 Oct

Keeping Mum

Since the 14th Century people have been talking (or rather not talking) about ”keeping mum”.

So what exactly is this blog post about you might wonder…

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Keeping ”mum” can refer to silence and also a mother.

Now, It’s a universal truth we all have had a mother…

As much as you might like to change your mother, transforming your relationship with her and coming to terms with your past, ultimately begins with you.

If you are experiencing familiar emotions like anger, sadness, guilt, blame or shame, please understand that you are not alone in your search for your mother’s approval, acceptance and love and you no longer need to keep ”mum” and keep it all inside.

With no ‘Dummies Guide’ available to help  you make peace with your mother and move on from past pain, I realised the importance of writing an informative and practical self-help guide specifically aimed at daughters to help them find emotional release, gain personal closure and an understanding of how all daughters’ lives are shaped through the mother-daughter experience.

I want you to know, that it is possible to move beyond the pain you feel inside.  It is possible to move on from your disappointments, regrets, feeling that you are unappreciated, unloved and misunderstood.  It is possible to work towards accepting your mother – warts and all and in turn, you will ease the pain of the past and realise you are worth loving.

Each of you reading this will have your own story when it comes to your mother and for mothers reading this, your story about your daughter will be unique to you.  Our personal realities are based on what we each individually experience and the perceptions and beliefs we filter through.

It is my intention to help you to bring balance to your thinking, guiding you to react and respond to your mother in a way which serves you better and by doing so; you will understand and transform your relationship at the deepest level.

What does the word ‘Mother’ mean to you? When I use the term “mum’’ or “mother’’, I refer to your childhood mother, your mother at the time she raised you.  This may also include a step mother, foster or adoptive mother or ‘other mother figure’ that cared for you.

Until your ‘mother stuff’ is understood and healed, the inner and outer conflicts you have or once had remain a burden.  I reach out to you and offer to share the strategies which have helped in my relationship with my own mother and also the wonderfully open women I have had the privilege to work with in my second book Mothers and Daughters: The guide to understanding and transforming the relationship with your mother

Over the coming weeks my blog will feature and introduce some of the topics covered in Mothers and Daughters.  So if you’ve had enough of ”keeping mum”, this blog and my book are a great place to start making the changes which enable you to feel heard, understood, accepted and loved for who you are.

Regardless of your past, you need not let it shape your future, stay with me and I will show you how.

13 Sep

Every Day An Anniversary

Every day is an anniversary of some other day.

Some say time is immeasurable and doesn’t exist though as you’re sitting there right now reading this, let’s celebrate the fact you are alive and very much present in this time and space.  Whether you’re reading this on your phone on the tube, from home on your PC or tablet, or if you’re following this page and reading in your email today is your day and the anniversary of you showing up day after day and wouldn’t you agree that’s worth a celebratory high five, bow, shimmy or even a glass of fizz.

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Just today it made me realise how quickly time passes.  My dad has been married to my stepmother for 30 years today also on this day 6 years ago my lovely neighbour Norma was laid to rest.  This time last year I was in hospital awaiting an operation, I was also launching my first book woo hoo!

September happens to be one of my favourite months as the leaves start to change colour and horse chestnuts (conkers) are getting themselves ready for picking and a conker fight or two.

So today and every day reflect on your past and ponder the happy anniversaries and also the anniversaries of hardships you have overcome, achievements made, projects completed, operations you’ve survived, hills you’ve climbed, risks taken, words spoken, commitments made and acknowledge although time stands still apparently for no man (or woman come to that) just take a moment to acknowledge every day is the anniversary of some other day.

If you find yourself remembering anniversaries with sadness, regret, anger or love, welcome all your emotions, it shows you, you are alive and that you’ve lived and loved.  Feel what you need to feel and know this day too will pass as will tomorrow and the next day too.

Every day may not be a good day but there will be something good in every day…look for it, seek it, find it!

Make every day a day to remember and make time to celebrate you!

Happy Anniversary – You are amazing!

 

29 Aug

The Best of Friends

When you think of the word friend or friendship who or what comes to mind?

I love using a Thesaurus and found the following meanings in terms of friendship and the components of what we might mutually bring to a relationship with friends.  Reading through how many of these statements resonate with you and the friendships you’re blessed with?

  • accord
  • affection
  • agreement
  • closeness
  • devotion
  • harmony
  • intimacy
  • love
  • rapport
  • understanding
  • affinity
  • amiability
  • company
  • consideration
  • empathy
  • fondness
  • friendliness
  • sodality

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I don’t know about you but I personally have the best of friends and have known many of them for over 35 years, oh boy, that makes me feel a little old though all things considered my friendships have lasted longer than my relationships.

Friends come in all shapes and sizes, nationalities, ages, sexes with common goals and aims or opposing opinions.  I can understand the term ‘friends for life’ as so many of us are blessed with life long friendships from the day we form the friendship until the day we die, so many wonderful experiences can be shared with friends.

I invite you to take a moment today to honour your friendships and acknowledge them in some way, whether it be a call,  meeting up, sending a greeting by social media or indeed sharing this blog post just to say ‘thank you for being my friend.’

It’s often our friends who are there for us in our darkest hours and who are the first to want to celebrate our successes.

So on that note to all my wonderful friends, I love you, thank you for being in my life, you are the best!

 

 

 

31 Jul

Trigger Happy!

You’ve probably heard the term ‘Trigger Happy’ without really thinking too much about what it means. If you search the term on various dictionaries it will relate to the use of guns, violence, aggression and hot-headed behaviour.

I’ve been thinking a lot about ‘triggers’ of late and how each of us, whether we are aware of it or not are triggered in various ways by other people, our environment, culture and immediate circle of influence as well as the media, religions and even marketing for food, cars, fancy watches and designer clothes.

We are sensory beings filtering, responding and storing information through our senses of touch, taste, smell, sight and sound. Gut instinct and intuition comes into it too.

So before I go into too much jargon (i’ve been knows to do this at times) i’d like to talk with you about ‘Happy Trigger’s’

I said Happy Triggers, not Happy Tiggers!

Who here knows and loves Tigger from Winnie the Poo?  I thought i’d post a picture of me here in costume, what do you reckon?

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Before I digress…back to happy triggers!

What makes you happy?

  • Waking up at the weekend knowing you haven’t got work
  • Having time to play with your children
  • Eating your favourite meal or snack
  • Gazing at the stars, sunrises or sunsets
  • Meeting your friends
  • Listening to your favourite band
  • Reading a book
  • Seeing your family
  • Being in nature
  • Soaking in a luxurious scented bath 
  • Treating yourself or someone else to a gift
  • Stroking a pet
  • Planting a garden
  • Watching your favourite movie
  • Laying in the sun
  • Playing a sport
  • Singing, acting or dancing
  • Seeing other people happy 

Guaranteed reading through this list you will have been triggered by a word, a thought, a feeling and a memory or series of memories.

When you feel out of kilter, notice what triggered a bad mood, was it something you saw, heard, felt, touched or tasted, or just a sense of gut intuition kicking in?

When you become more aware of your triggers, you don’t have to keep shooting yourself with them, playing the scenario over and over (you know that’s no fun), you can catch your triggers and begin to recognise what you are responding to might have nothing at all to do with what’s going on in the moment and everything to do with something from the past.

Load your thoughts with happiness….

Now for a little ‘home play’, because it’s so much nicer than ‘home work’.  Grab yourself a pen and paper or open up your notes on your phone, pc or tablet and get busy writing down 100 things which make you happy, then when you’re done, write another 100.

And while you’re at it, feel free to sing along Come on Everyone Get Happy!