Tag Archives: Mindfulness

04 Mar

Surrender to Possibility

In the absence of limited thinking and negative beliefs which hold you back from taking risks what would you do if you could do anything?

When was the last time you surrendered to not knowing an outcome and decided to go along for the journey anyway?

What’s the best that can happen when you surrender to possibility?

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Nothing is guaranteed in life except what you think to be impossible probably will be….

Remember IMPOSSIBLE includes the word I’M POSSIBLE.  My advice is to get on it, feel the fear and do it anyway you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

”It’s impossible” said Pride. ”It’s risky” said Experience, ”It’s pointless” said Reason, ”Give it a try” whispered The Heart…

What can you do today that your future self will thank you for?

What can you start doing, stop doing or do differently which will take you closer towards your hearts desires?

Live your life as if there are endless possibilities ~ The world is your lobster and what you want is only ever a thought away….

Act as if that which you want has come to pass and get into the ‘possibility mindset’, take action and strive to remember at all times :  When nothing is sure…everything is possible ~ Margaret Drabble

 

24 Feb

All in a Day’s Work

The mere mention of the word ‘work’ might be a trigger for some of you. The thought of working being all toil, blood, sweat and tears, relentless, unforgiving and stressful.  That is until that is you make your work, work for you.

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Give yourself a moment to reflect on the following work related questions.  Take stock of where you are, what’s working and what isn’t working and what you will benefit from changing.

  • What made you choose the line of work you’re in?
  • How did the job you are in come to be?
  • What do you hate about your job?
  • What do you love?
  • What would happen if the things you hate about your job you spent less time focusing on and spent more time appreciating the aspects which you enjoy?
  • What stops you creating a different outcome for yourself whether that be changing your line of work into another type of employment or speaking assertively and with positive intention to your boss about proposed changes to your workload and career progression?
  • If you could do anything, absolutely anything what kind of work would you choose for yourself without the supposed obstacles that are in your way?
  • If you want to be self employed and have been procrastinating about taking a leap of faith  what is it that stops you giving up the day job and building your own empire?
  • Are your beliefs about what you can do, be and have inspiring you to take action or holding you back even further, if so what are the more empowering beliefs you can choose for yourself?
  • What’s the cost if you do nothing to change your present situation?
  • Are you willing to pay that price?

I don’t have the answers to these questions as they will be personal to you though what I do know is if you spend time worrying about the week ahead on a Sunday night and the rest of your working week you’re clock watching and willing for that Friday feeling to come round quicker, you’re not making time to appreciate the good times in between.

If you’re gossiping in your tea break about your boss and other staff members who rile you, you’re reliving a past experience as if it was happening all over again, truth is it’s your gossiping about it that makes the situation worse, not the actual event itself.  If you take your work worries home and vent at your partner chances are your relationship will turn sour too.

Yes, we can all be triggered by different things, work, our boss, colleagues not pulling their weight, commuting, repetitive work, lack of clients, emails and calls not being replied to and generally feeling at war with the world and everyone in it, though remember, it’s not the trigger that’s the problem it’s the meaning you place on the trigger and the ‘stories and beliefs’ you build up about them.  The time and energy wasted focusing on the negatives you can never get back.

Tell a different story, focus on what you love about your work, explore how you can make practical changes to your workload, ask for help, take risks and most of all dare to live, dare to be, dare to use your skills to their fullest and most of all dare to live your life with passion and purpose.

I hope you enjoy my little acronym for work

W illingness to learn new things
O penminded about possibilities
R isk taker and change maker
K ick A*ss and then kick some more a*ss

Do the work you love and you won’t work a day in your life!

Offering a range of stress management techniques, supporting you to get clear on your focus and holding you accountable to achieve your dreams, begin by saying yes to you!

I’m here to help you get started www.bepositive.me.uk 

When you’re ready to make your Monday Magical rather than ‘Just Another Manic Monday’ (The Bangles) contact me to work on getting past your past and making your future a happier place to be.

It’s time to kick some a*ss.

04 Feb

Happiness is Free

Happiness really is only ever a thought away….

According to Wikipedia:  ”Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy”

Happiness and joy just happen to be two of my favourite feelings, how about you?

What makes you happy?

Which memories are your happiest?

Who do you find yourself in the company of who makes you happy?

When you find yourself at your happiest, what are you thinking, doing or saying?

When was the last time you found yourself being joyous, happy, content?

If you could define the feeling of happiness on your terms, what does it look like, feel like and sound like for you?

What can you do today (taking full responsibility) to make yourself happier? 

 

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Get in touch with the feelings of happiness inside your body right now and imagine you have a dial which you can turn up to increases the level of happy feelings, do that in your mind right now, turn the dial up, make the picture of happiness brighter, sharper, clearer, stronger….

Turn up the feelings of happiness, right the way up, let the feeling grow and expand throughout your body….

Turn up the sounds of happiness inside your own mind and around you, make them louder, more defined, clearer.

If there is any smell or taste associated with happiness for you turn those senses up too….

Remember…Happiness is only ever a thought away!  Act as if and enjoy the feelings of joy and happiness right now.

And just for fun I share with you one of my favourite verses:

Smiling is infectious

You catch it like the flu

When someone smiled at me today

I started smiling too

I walked around the corner

And someone saw me grin

When he smiled I realised

I had passed it on to him

I thought about the smile

And then realised its worth

A single smile like mine

Could travel round the earth

So if you feel a smile begin

Don’t leave it undetected

Start an epidemic

And get the world infected.

Author Unknown (copied from ‘Poetic Expressions’)

So wishing you all a happy weekend ahead and remember happiness is not a destination, it is a journey.

With love from my heart to yours,

Wendy

www.wendyfry.com Helping you to get to the heart of your love and relationship problems

 

28 Jan

Unlearning Your Learning

It’s true to say we all have habits, patterns of thinking, behaviours and a ways of reacting to life and it’s curve balls which either serve us well or ‘take us down the swanny without a paddle.’

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For those not familiar with this term, we are basically in a boat, oar-less, possibly screaming ‘stop the ride I want to get off’ or either trying to cling on to the nearest, person or thing not really knowing if we will make it or not.

This blog has become a habit for me and one I love because writing for me is a habit and I do love to inspire others with my words and shares.  Just like walking I learned to write a long time ago and both habits have served me well. Though not all habits are healthy and this is why i’m going to share my insights into unlearning your learning.

I’m often inspired to write about real life situations and just yesterday I was talking to a friend and we agreed it’s easy to get into the habit of just having a beer or a glass of wine or two after a long stressful day or even as a reward when your day has been ace.  The ‘wine o’clock or beer o’clock’ glasses come on and you think…’oh, just the one’ and before you know it that small one has become several bottles of beer, a bottle of wine and the six pack Hoola Hoops, the whole bag of mini-cheeses disappear (well they are mini you say to yourself) The box of chocolates you were saving for your aunt’s birthday get munched including the ones which aren’t your favourites and for afters you decide to open the tub of your favourite ice cream, you know the one with the cherries and choc-chip in or maybe it’s the rum and raisin for you.

Hmm…habits have a lot to answer to and so do we because it is us who are actually feeding these habits.  Whether it’s being a fridge raider, a chocolate addict, getting angry when driving, feeling out of control when things don’t go your way or feeling rejected when someone says no to spending time with you we all have our own unique ways of responding.

So it’s time to unlearn your learning, it’s much easier than you might think

Much of our learning is ‘unconscious’ we aren’t even aware we have eaten the whole contents of the fridge perhaps until the morning and you wonder who has been in an stolen all the goodies.  We often don’t think before we reply when someone honks us in the traffic, we honk right back a gazillion times , shouting words of abuse if someone angers us only fuels the fire and when we get upset and end up in a flood of tears when those we want to be with can’t be with us for whatever reasons not one of these ways is beneficial for long term health.  The good news is, the triggers we learn to respond in  unhealthy ways can be unlearned.

To become more conscious you simply start to pay more attention to the following:

  • Your mood generally and how you tend to behave when you experience difficult situations
  • The thoughts you say inside your own mind or out loud when life throws it’s curve balls
  • How you feel inside in reaction to the things which upset you (like a bomb about to go off is a great exapmle)
  • Visual triggers which you find upsetting (your husband looking at the TV and not you) 
  • Other people’s tone or tempo of voice which riles you (yeah whatever) 
  • Where you might be deleting, distorting or generalising information
  • Smells and tastes which remind you of happy times (when we are unhappy we often reach for feel god foods that we may have been rewarded with as a child, often sweet things)
  • Your ‘go to’ addiction when you want to cheer up or reward youself (booze, shopping, ice cream etc)
  • Your beliefs about a situation, person or group of people which have you displaying behaviours which you regret afterwards or find yourself attaching to

Thought catching and being aware if how you feel moment to moment will help to bring you back to the present.  Mindless behaviours keep you back from health and wellness, they may also impact finances, relationships, self-esteem, energy levels, mood generally and having the level of success in all life areas.

Do join me in a spot of imagining…

  • Imagine (pretend, see sense and think about) yourself in the future having unlearnt your learning (the bad habits and ways of responding to people, situations and the things which trigger you)
  • How did you do it?  
  • What did you start doing
  • What did you stop doing
  • What are you doing differently now?
  • What advise would your future self say to you right now that will help you unlearn your negative learning?
  • What’s the first thing you can do to help yourself?
  • And the next, and the next and the next? 

Start as you mean to go on…

If you know you’re feeling low, don’t stock your home with the foods and drinks you will only regret eating and drinking.  Make a plan to give yourself some TLC by another means

If you’ve had upsets with friends or family and want to repair relationships arrange a mutual setting free from alcohol where you can talk through what you both want (the outcome you hope for)  Go with the positive intention of building the relationship, talking about what you want, not what you don’t want

If you’re someone who often feels depressed or anxious start taking action by doing more of what brings you a sense of inner calm and happiness.  Bring in a sense of gratitude for what you already have in your life.  Choose actions which lift you, whether it be going for a walk, watching funny movies, spending time with a pet, having a massage any of these things will change the way you feel.

There are so many ways to unlearn your negative learning and this begins with a single thought and a plan of action and before you know it you will have adapted some brand new learning and behaviours which serve you well.

There will come a time when you simply forget what it was you were even trying to unlearn.  Your new behaviours become part of life and living on purpose.

Get into the habit now of changing your habits to those which bring you long term happiness and joy.

From my heart to yous,

With love,

Wendy

If you need any help and support contact me via www.wendyfry.com and we can talk through support options and getting you back on track to learning new ways of thinking and new ways of being.

 

23 Jan

Wellness or Illness – What’s Your Focus?

Whether you’re reading this in the morning or at the end of your day, I invite you to take a moment and reflect on your thoughts for the day ahead or the thoughts you have had.  Is your anticipated day one of dread, doom and gloom or thinking back over your day has your focus been on wellness or illness?

Wellness isn’t just about physical health, our minds are powerful creators and depending on the direction of our thoughts they can either lift us up or pull us down.   It’s the same for illness.  No one wants to be ill, feel poorly or out of sorts though what we can do is focus on getting well, taking actions to help ourselves by eating the right foods, exercising, getting out in nature and taking our intention to one of healing and wellness.

If for any reason you can’t physically get out to do these things what you can do is to take your mind on an amazing holiday as often as you like until you feel re-charged and energised.  If the Caribbean is your desired location take your mind there right now, notice the blue of the sky, the feel of the warm sand on your feet, the smell of the sea, the taste of salt in your mouth from swimming or resting at the waters edge,  the sound of the waves lapping on the sure…hmmm….bliss wouldn’t you agree.

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It’s true to say many people walk about ‘unconsciously’, meaning they may not even be aware of there thoughts until someone like me comes along and asks…”are your thoughts working for you, yes or no?”  If what you are thinking makes you feel lousy, the good news is you can change your thoughts, after all you are the creator of your thoughts are you not?

In my line of work I get to meet some amazing people who are ready to master their thoughts as well as their lives.  These people have woken up from the unconscious walking around letting their negative thoughts rule them and instead show up ready to unlearn the negative hypnotising they have been doing to themselves.

Words are powerful creators, including the words we say in our heads as well as the ones we speak and share.  Would you really talk to another person the way you do to yourself?

It’s not until we explore our negative thoughts and patterns of behaviour including our thinking do we become enlightened that we have the choice.  We can focus on illness or wellness, it’s really quite simple.

I invite you to make a pact with yourself from today, whenever you find yourself going off on a tangent or thinking about the things that make you feel drained, unhappy, angry, fearful or emotionally upset, change your focus to the thoughts which lift you up.  Give yourself a healthy dose of encouragement, support, reassurance, love and kindness and notice how much better you feel when you turn your thoughts to wellness.

Here to guide you are the key questions from The Spotlight Process.  A unique technique which I have developed to bring your thoughts into balance.

1. Where is my thinking right now? (Past, Present or Future?)

2. What proportion of my thinking is negative?

3. How does it affect me when I focus on the negative?

4. Where is the evidence that what I think will happen will happen?

5. What do I want instead of thinking or feeling this way?

6. Coming from my heart instead of my head what would love do here?

Need a helping hand to further master your thoughts? There is a whole chapter on The Spotlight Process in my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE along with a chapter on EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to support you in finding emotional freedom.

Because I love to give and want you to succeed this guided meditation ‘Negative Memory Release’ will support you in moving forwards towards health and wellness.  It’s the first download you come to when you reach the downloads page, scroll down until you find it.  Enjoy…

So, love your day and love your life by simply changing your thoughts.

Your future self will thank you for it…

From my heart to yours, with love,

Wendy

 

 

 

15 Jan

Be Your Own Super Hero

Okay, so do I have your attention?

If you’ve been waiting for a knight in shining armour, a genie in a bottle or your fairy godmother to come along and they have been on a detour for as long as you can remember…it’s time to get your big girl panties on and be your own super hero.

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Not so long ago someone said to me ”you’re going to need someone else to take care of you now”, little did they know I have my very own super powers and have been doing a mighty fine job of looking after myself.

It’s all too easy to get complacent in life, waiting for the good times to roll but if you’re going blue in the face from waiting or constantly checking your phone, email or social media status for the invitations, celebrations and the magic dreams are made of to fall into your lap and they’re not, here is a savvy plan for taking action.

Think about what it is you want from life.  There may be several things such as an improved career, the relationship of your dreams, good health, a palace complete with indoor spa and a fridge full of healthy foods along with a gorgeous waiter to serve them to you, the whole shoe or book collection you’ve been adding to your wish list, or maybe it’s something really simple like spending more time walking in nature.

Whatever it is you want, you can have.  You just have to start somewhere.  Rather than scattering your focus on your entire wish list and getting frustrated and exhausted waiting for the things on it to materialise, this is the alternative for waiting for your super hero to rescue you.

So…here goes, grab yourself a pen and paper:

  1. Make a list of all the things you would like to come to pass
  2. Decide on just one of these things (for now) that you are going to make your main focus
  3. Whatever this one thing is, what’s the one thing you can start with to bring this to fruition?
  4. What’s the next step, the next and the one after that?
  5. Get into the feeling place as if what you want has already happened
  6. Imagine it, enjoy it, experience it, make it real in your mind
  7. Turn up the feelings associated with your achievement, swish them all around your body…hmm, feels good doesn’t it
  8. What will you see when you have realised your dream? Make the colours in the picture brighter, sharper, stronger, clearer
  9. What will you hear when your goal is ‘living’ make the sounds inside your own mind and the external sounds louder, sharper and more defined
  10. What will you taste and smell?  Turn the smell and taste right up and savour it
  11. Act as if what you want has come to pass and spend time each day getting into the feeling, seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and sensing of your actualised experience

Raising you vibration in this way, focusing on what it is you want and acting as if it has already materialised will serve you far better than wishing, hoping and dreaming.

Begin today as you mean to go on, and if your goal is anything like mine, you will achieve the other things as part of the process of beginning now with doing the one thing that will make everything else really easy.

Always remember you are your own hero or heroine in the game of life and you can be, do and have whatever you set your mind to…on your marks, get set, go….

What’s the best that can happen?

Woo hoo, enjoy the ride……

Oh and just for the sheer pleasure of it, here is one of my favourite tracks Hero by the beautiful and talented Enrique Iglesias.  Why not sing it to yourself and commit to being your own hero.

With love from me to you,

x Wendy

 

 

 

03 Jan

Mirror, Mirror…..

Life is but a reflection of our beliefs, hopes and fears. What we say to ourselves inside our own minds and outwardly does indeed influence our futures. What we think we can or can’t do eventually comes to pass.

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Not so many years ago I had a dream; I left my day job and perused a career which in actual fact is a vocation, a joy, a way of being. Many told me to get a ‘proper job’ or even a part time job to tide me over. Some said ‘it’s too risky’, others ‘too competitive’, others simply rolled their eyes and thought I’d lost the plot.

The truth is I had faith in myself from day one that I could achieve my dreams. I didn’t sit back waiting for the dream to happen. I took action, invested in myself, re-trained, read what seems like a million books, prioritised my life, cut out the things I didn’t need, I budgeted, planned, took more action and you know what happened ‘The Universe’ if you believe in such a thing/place/energy saw what I was doing, it listened to my thoughts, it felt my vibration of acting as if this dream had already come to pass and sent a truck load of opportunities my way. Needless to say I had quite a few celebrations along the way.

There are not many who can honestly say they are living a happy life though for me, my life is incredibly happy. Every day I get to do the work I love working with people who also want to live their dreams. Looking back I have achieved so much and you can too.

Begin today by bringing your thinking and feelings into balance. Are you really living the life you want or do you want something different? If it’s the latter, start imagining what it will feel like when you are beyond the goal achievement, when you’ve reached a point in your life when even more beautiful experiences have come to pass because you took action towards your dreams.

Your thoughts become things; begin today by reaching for the higher feeling thought until you can actually feel the joy of living the life you want. You only have to think it and to feel it for it to become a reality. Everything else is part of the ride of discovering your fullest potential.

Begin today and notice what you are reflecting out to the world, if you don’t like the refection, change it. You are the master of your thoughts and your destiny.
Ready to make even deeper lasting change find out how right here

30 Dec

End of Year Reflections

I invite you to use this end of year reflection exercise taking stock of your year so far. The lessons that you’ve learnt about yourself, other people and the world around you.

There may have been some painful parts to 2016, though with learning often the unpleasant situations are our greatest gifts and create positive change and new beginnings in our lives.

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You might like to copy out the questions in a journal and work through them one by one.

2016 Reflections 

• Reflecting back on 2016, what happened month by month?
• What did you really love about 2016?
• What were your magic and special moments?
• What made you smile?
• What made you cry?
• What happened in 2016 that you would rather not go through again?
• What experiences have you been through that you did not enjoy and what did you learn from those experiences?
• What do you need to change? What do you need to start doing, stop doing or do differently? (This can be related to how you spend your time, who you spend time with, your health, and your income, your sense of self, your relationships and any other aspect of your life)
• What important lessons did you learn about yourself; people in general, your body, your work, your family, your relationships, your sense of fulfilment and accomplishment?
• What do you want for 2017? (Answer in the positive tense-no don’t wants’ allowed!)
• What are you committed to achieving?
• What is the most important skill that you want to either further develop or master within yourself?
• What changes and actions are you committed to making in your life?
• What do you need to do in 2017 to get you to be where you want to be?
• If 2016 was a tough year for you so far, how can you use your learning to your best advantage to make next year even better?
• What are you committed to?
• What can you achieve in the next twelve months with focused attention?
• Who were you when you started 2016 and who are you now?
• Who are you becoming?
• What else is possible for you?
I hope that you enjoy completing your end of year reflections. After working through you might like to reread and write up separately your goals and action steps to make 2017 your best year yet!

Set your goals high and don’t stop till you get there! – Bo Jackson

26 Dec

You’ve got to have Faith

Different things inspire me and today in light of the sad news of George Michael passing away it made me think back to my favourite song of George’s, ‘Faith’

I see George as a man who followed his inspirations, his passion and his heart and it got me thinking and wondering about how many of us have faith in ourselves, what we do and what we strive for.

George in a round about way taught me about expressing emotions, singing, dancing and being a warm and loving presence. He was a man who could draw a crowd in a good way. Respected, admired and for many cherished.

Today I am going to ponder on the things I want for my future and the legacy I wish to leave behind.  I invite you to do the same by asking yourself the following questions:

If you knew you could not fail, what would you do that you’re not currently doing?

What is your mission statement when you think about keeping unfailing faith in your abilities to achieve what you want?

What gifts (skills, attributes, words of affirmation etc) can you share with others to help them on their own personal journey’s?

When it comes to the end of your life, how do you want people to remember you?

What is the greatest legacy you can leave behind?  (please be aware a legacy is not always a monetary gain or property)  

Thank you George for inspiring me today in writing this blog post and for being the difference who made a difference.

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”Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark” – Tagore

12 Dec

Say Yes to Life!

Did you know there are 86,400 seconds in a day?  If you didn’t you do now.

The trouble with life is, you can’t bank it, save it for a rainy day, trade it in or request a new one, it simply doesn’t work like that.

Before you know it Monday is soon Friday, it’s the weekend again and then back to work.

For many people life is a whirlwind of just getting through each day until the next one comes. Few make time to smell the roses or ponder how to make the most of the 86,400 seconds they have been granted and this is why I’m writing this blog to help you take stock of where you’ve been and where you’re heading.

Life and death is certain , it’s one thing we know for sure but how many of us are really living our lives ‘on purpose?’

Are you living the same day 365 days a year or do you want something different for yourself?

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End of year reflections 

Reflecting back on 2016, what happened month by month?

• What did you really love about 2016?
• What were the high points of the year?
• What were your magic and special moments?
• What made you smile?
• What made you cry?
• What happened in 2016 that you would rather not go through in 2017?
• What experiences have you been through that you did not enjoy in 2016 what did you learn from those experiences?
• What do you need to change?
• What do you need to start doing, stop doing or do differently? (This can be related to how you spend your time, who you spend time with, your health, and your income, your sense of self, your relationships and any other aspect of your life)
• What important lessons did you learn in 2016 about yourself; people in general, your body, your work, your family, your relationships, your sense of fulfilment and accomplishment?
• What do you want in 2017? (Answer in the positive tense-no don’t wants’ allowed!)
• What are you committed to achieving?
• What is the most important skill that you want to either further develop or master within yourself?
• What changes and actions are you committed to changing in your life?
• What do you need to do in 2017 to move on from 2016, even though 2016 may have been amazing, what do you need to leave behind in order to move on?
• If 2016 was a tough year for you, how can you use your learning to your best advantage to make 2017 your best year yet?
• What are you committed to?
• What can you achieve in the next 12 months with focused attention?
• Who were you when you started 2016 and who are you now?
• Who are you becoming?
• What else is possible for you?

I hope that you enjoy completing your end of year reflections, on reading through after completion you may like to take from it and write up separately your goals and action steps to make 2017 your best year yet!

If you need some help and support in living life to it’s fullest potential please do make contact.

One life, live it!

Wendy Fry | Emotional Health & Relationship Consultant | Helping you to help yourself

www.bepositive.me.uk | www.wendyfry.com | www.mothersanddaughters.solutions