Tag Archives: peace

12 Mar

The Precious Present

In the blink of an eye life can change and never go back to the same way or shape it was before.

Whether it’s our health, the longevity of others, our careers, relationships or ambitions nothing is certain and it’s easy to take so many things for granted.

Most of us spend time worrying about the future predicting all kinds of catastrophes and for others they are stuck in the past fearful that the past will repeat itself through not taking any action to prove their fears otherwise.  How many of us are actually present?

Just this week I have been reminded about the preciousness of life.  It is a gift given to us although how many of us savour it, enjoy it, appreciate it and respect it?

When was the last time you simply stopped to be? 

Do that now, just stop, sit back, sink into the surface you are laying or sitting on, take a deep breath in and out, roll your shoulders and neck, breathe in and out some more…really deeply this time.  Connect with your heart, go inside, feel the presence of yourself, inside of yourself….

This moment and the precious present is your only guarantee.  The moments before are gone, other moments may come through what of this one? 86,000 seconds in a day to enjoy, appreciate, acknowledge, savour and be grateful for.

Living life moment to moment is all we have ~ Let’s be grateful for the precious present, it is a gift to appreciate and enjoy.

 

 

19 Sep

The Power of Words

Whether it be the words you think or those you speak, sing, write or withhold all words have power and carry an energetic vibration….

On waking or sleeping the words you think or say aloud often set the tone for your day or the depth of your sleep.  What you say in haste without thinking may cut someone to the core and the words you say with love stick in your nearest and dearest hearts and minds forever.

Once you have learnt the alphabet everything you read or hear is a combination of those twenty six letters and who would have thought those 26 letters could have such power?

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I’ve been thinking a lot about words recently as i’m in the process of writing my second book which by the way is a lot of words.

As well as my own dialogue i’ve been thinking about strangers words, communications from people I know, those shown on media or spoken on TV as well as listening to the words of those whom I esteem to.  The impact words have on us is huge.  The emotional charge of what we hear and speak as well as the physiological feelings experienced when we hear words of criticism or words of praise can last a lifetime and indeed create limiting beliefs based on the meanings we have placed on the words we have heard.

You may have heard about the experiment carried out by Dr Masaru Emoto on Water Molecule Experiment which indicates words are very much alive and contain both positive and negative energy vibration.

On searching for a suitable graphic to post with this blog typing in the search engine ‘words’, I was able to select graphics on stress, anxiety, anger, terrorism, fear, hate and love, (it was interesting to note my own thought reaction and physical response on viewing) you can guess where my focus was when you see this post.

Whatever we feel in any given moment, guaranteed is a result of a thought related to a new experience or one in which we have felt this way before.  Words, just like energy attract.  If we feel loved, appreciated, accepted and respected in any given moment because of what someone has said it’s likely the love bucket and good feeling file starts to overflow.   If words are said in anger it’s likely our filing cabinet or hard drive of all the times someone has shown anger will do a quick search and pull up all the files before we can say ‘hey presto!’ we are down the swanny without a paddle thinking about all the injustices in the world.

So..today and every day, reach for the words which give you a higher feeling thought and keep going from there.  Raise your vibration using those 26 little letters and take your focus to joy, love, happiness, calm, contentment and connection.  Talking of which, thank you for connecting with me here today.

Oh and remember the words you think are like having a bad case of the farts, if you are angry everyone gets a stink of it and the same way if your vibration is on joy (even though they don’t really smell of roses) you might find the seat next to you on the tube is always taken, random people talk to you and smile, you make friends easily and the right circumstances and people show up in your life.

Words have power!  Choose them wisely.

From my heart to yours with love x

ohh…and here just for you feel free to download the free chapter on Beliefs from my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE, simply add your details to the pop up box which loads after a few seconds and begin exploring where your limiting beliefs  and self-sabotage comes from.  Chances are they don’t even belong to you but based on the words spoken to you from way back when.

 

30 May

Our beliefs influence the way we feel and what we choose to do

A limiting belief is a thought, or series of thoughts, that stop us from moving forwards in life. Limiting beliefs could be based on past personal experiences or through witnessing the experiences of others.

When we truly grow up

Limiting beliefs also shape the form of our thought patterns, including irrational thinking. We all, at some point, experience limiting beliefs. Until we examine what it is we believe and change any limiting beliefs to a more empowering belief, we are often stuck in the prison of our own thinking.

This is the 3rd in the series of limiting beliefs, you can check out the previous blog posts Part 1 here and Part 2 here

Beliefs have the potential to be changed by cultivating awareness; we can choose what it is we want to believe. Challenging a limiting belief with awareness, effective questioning and using The Spotlight Process and EFT, may seriously improve a person’s sense of self worth, reduce fear, improve confidence, improve communication (internal and external dialogues) and open up all sorts of new and exciting possibilities.

What are your limiting beliefs?

Practical Exercise (10 minutes)

Measuring Limiting Beliefs using The VoC Scale (Validity of Cognition)

To measure the how true a limiting belief may be for you there is a scale called The Validity of Cognition (VoC) Scale which is an individualised measure of beliefs, developed by Francine Shapiro.

Use the VOCSscale to check the percentage of your current self limiting beliefs rating them from a 0 when you have no belief at all and 100 when the belief feels completely true for you.

Read through the list below using the Voc Scale to identify which limiting beliefs are true for you. Fill in the blanks where appropriate and add your own limiting beliefs that have been holding you back from love.

• Fear of not being good enough
• Fear of not being loved
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of separation or loss of relationship
• Fear of failure
• Fear of being controlled by another
• Fear of success
• I don’t deserve…..
• I am not worthy of…..
• I’m not lovable
• I’m too……..
• I’m not…..
• I won’t be able to…..
• It’s impossible
• I can’t…..
• Something bad will happen if…..
• What if it doesn’t work out?
• What if I get hurt?
• What if my partner isn’t faithful?
• What if I lose…..?

You may be wondering right now how you can transform your limiting beliefs so here goes:

Part of the process of changing limiting beliefs is cultivating awareness, so that we can distinguish the difference between:

• What we’d like to believe
• What we think we should believe
• What we truly believe.

It is often our limited and negative thinking that holds us back from the things that we seek. Beliefs are often so unconscious that we seldom question them.

With effective self questioning, taking into account:

• When the belief was formed
• Whose belief it is
• If that belief limits us or allows us to grow
• If the beliefs we hold are still appropriate for us

Each of us has a choice and by choosing empowering beliefs about love and relationships, much can be changed in our lives for the better.

In order to change a limiting belief we need to change the internal picture and representation that we have of ourselves, of others and about the world around us, so that over time, our creative subconscious mind recognises new pictures and beliefs as a new reality and filters from a different perspective, instead of looking through dirty windows at the same dirt, we notice things we never saw before or experienced before.

If a limiting belief is based on a lie or is a belief formed by someone else’s opinion, then it is time to change the belief. Challenging a limiting belief and working out where it comes from will provide enormous benefits.

Changing our beliefs offers a renewed sense of freedom and there is a willingness to take new risks once we decide to look at the world through new windows.

Ready to uncover your limiting beliefs and move beyond them check out my full range of services here It will be my pleasure to work with you.

01 May

Live, Laugh, Love

May 1st is not only Global Love Day, it’s also World Laughter Day and what a winning combination loving and laughing is.

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I’ve come to realise in recent years the importance of really living life, not just going through the motions and every day blending into another but to actually live my life with passion and purpose to the best of my ability.

In the past six months I personally have experienced bereavements, some closer to home than others, I’ve known of friends losing loved ones and those close to me having health scares.  It’s all too easy to focus on fear and forget to direct our minds to the best possible outcome.  Fear keeps us safe from the worst case scenario but is also keeps us from living life to it’s fullest potential.

I’ve made it my mission to focus on gratitude and appreciate the wins of the day.  I use my mind to remember beautiful experiences, I use my heart to reconnect with love even after someone’s physical body has gone.  I invite you to do the same.  Focus on what is going well, what is working in your life, focus on the things which bring you joy, directing your mind to a higher feeling thought will raise your vibration and increase your overall health and well-being.

My invitation to you at the end of every day is to have an end of day reflection:

  • What did I see today which warmed my heart?
  • What did I hear today which made me smile?
  • What did I taste today which delighted my tastebuds?
  • What did I smell today which brought back happy memories?
  • What did I experience today which made me feel alive?
  • What made me laugh today?
  • What filled my heart with love today?
  • What am I most grateful for today?

Every day may not be a good day though there is something good in everyday ~ Alice Morse Earle

 

21 Apr

Why doing what you love is good for you

Whether it’s reaching a high and experiencing a surge of endorphins at the end of running, raising money for charity, organising an event for friends, fishing, rambling or simply getting your hands dirty as you plant up your Spring tubs, doing what you love has so many health benefits.

Reduction in stress and anxiety, emotional and physical health improvement, increased self esteem and a more positive attitude are the only side effects of doing more of what you love…it makes sense, yes?

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  • When was the last time you made time for you to do whatever you wanted without the need for anyone elses approval, permission or judgement?

 

  • How often do you meet up with your best friends for those all important girly  chats and hugs or for an evening of boys banter over a pint or a round of golf? 

 

  • What sets your heart alight, is it creating some artwork, singing, amateur dramatics, writing prose, dancing or something else and when was the last time you did that?

Doing what you love may or may not cost money.

Most of the things I love are free such as walking in nature, watching my friends children play, writing, digging in the garden, spending time with friends over a cuppa or simply watching the sky.  There is so much you can do to increase daily happiness when you make time for it.

January is a classic for New Year’s Resolutions, though I like to set new goals for myself in the Spring.  Perhaps you’d care to join me in doing more of what you love?

Spring is a time of new birth, new beginnings, a time for flourishing, living and loving.

What can you do today that your future self will thank you for?

Dance like nobody’s watching

Love like you’ve never been hurt

Sing like nobody’s listening

Live like heaven on earth 

Verse by William Perky

If you need more positivity in your life and want to say yes to you, you might like to invest in yourself and make the rest of your life the best of your life right here

 

15 Apr

Your Past Need Not Define Your Future

How often does what’s happened in the past limit you?

Whether it’s starting a new relationship, ending one which isn’t working, changing your job or improving your health what limiting beliefs get in the way?

Do you tell yourself ‘I can’t do it’, ‘men, women, people in general can’t be trusted’, ‘I’ll never be able to manage on my own’, ‘all the good jobs are taken’, ‘I can’t keep my weight off’

Would you ever talk to a best friend like that?  Telling them they’re useless, their ideas will never work, they might as well give up?  No, I don’t think so, so why do you do this to yourself?

Back in the day when I was considering becoming a coach and NLP Practitioner I will admit I had a lot of self doubt.

My inner Gremlin which was rather like the meanest, nastiest bully.  It would tell me things such as:

  • You’re not good enough 
  • You’ll never understand it
  • There are so many others out there doing this, why would they want little ole me!

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I also had so called friends telling me:

  • There’s no money it it
  • It’s too competitive and cut throat
  • Everyone is giving up their day job and becoming a coach
  • Why would you want to give up your day job

In hindsight i know my friends were advising me as if they were in the situation, these were their fears, I didn’t need to make them mine.  I realised my own self doubts came from the past when I found it hard to understand letters and numbers and when I though everyone else was better than me.

The truth is I realised I could stay the same doing a 9-5 and not really using the gifts I naturally have or I could fly by the seat of my pants and create for myself a different future.

In the end that small voice inside got a little louder and said ‘You can do this!’ and well, that was ten years ago now.  Since that time i’ve achieved so much and helped others achieve their dreams too.

Having been someone who let the past get in the way once too often I’ve developed a process helping you to move on from the past.  It’s shared in my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE though I wanted to share some snippets with you here:

Using The Spotlight Process on the stories in your mind

From this moment on, when you get caught up in a story in your mind, please take a moment and reflect:

  • What part of your story is a replay of what happened in the past?
  • How often do you tell this story?
  • When you tell this story, how do you feel?
  • Is your story one that you are creating about the future with a negative expectation based on the past?
  • How is thinking in this way limiting you?
  • What are the consequences of thinking this way?
  • What do you want instead?

When your story is a replay from the past or is a negative projection into the future your body responds as if you are actually experiencing fear simply because you are thinking about it. The memory isn’t real though your mind and body may think it is real and project fear of attack into situations that are really quite safe.  Our unconscious mind will do everything it can to keep us safe even if there is no actual risk.  It’s a self protection mechanism.

Practical Exercise using The Spotlight Process (15 minutes)

Periodically throughout the day and at the end of each day, use The Spotlight Process to take stock of where you have spent most of your thought time (past, present or future) and answer the following questions which complement the process beautifully.

  • What have I been focusing on?
  • Where have my thoughts been (past, present future?)
  • How have I been talking to myself for the last hour or two?
  • Have I been talking to myself in a kindly way or a critical way?
  • What images, stories, thoughts or feelings have experienced today that have caused me distress?
  • Which emotions and feelings have I experienced the most today?
  • Have I been thinking about the future negatively or positively?
  • What advice can I give myself so that tomorrow is a better day?
  • What choices can I make that will take me closer to my goals?

When you use the past to work for you rather than against you, instead of responding from the part of you (the child within) conditioned by your parents or caregivers you are able to reply from the adult you.

Responding from your adult self will support you to grow, to take action and to achieve great things you desire.  Responding from the adult you, encourages you to take risks, to blossom, to treat yourself with love and kindness, to be the best that you can be.

Download your free chapter on limiting beliefs work through your demons and create for yourself a magnificent future. If you need a helping hand I offer a range of support programmes

The Past is Over

If your light is always in the past, you cannot see the future

31 Mar

Stop Playing the Fool

Stop Playing the Fool. 

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  • How often do you find yourself laughing things off when deep down you’re hurting?
  • What makes you wear a mask of who you think you should be rather than being all of who you are?
  • When do you find yourself not putting you first in relationships only to find the relationship fails anyway, when you’ve given all you’ve got and then some? 

April Fool’s day comes but once a year, though how often are you playing the fool and not really living your life on your terms? 

Help is at hand.

If you’re:

  • Fed up with waiting for more love, fun and happiness in your life…
  • Ready to let go of the past and focus on having a positive and loving relationship that fulfils you…
  • All set to be accepted for who you are and totally and free to be yourself…
  • Eager to make the rest of your life, the best of your life…

I hate to say it.  The only thing stopping you is you!

I stopped playing the fool a long time ago and have to say it’s liberating.  Gone is the mask of fear, the long nose of lying to please others, the need for approval or acceptance.  Gone is the me I thought I had to be, it’s the best thing i’ve ever done and I want to share with you the tools and transformation techniques which stopped me playing the fool.

On your marks, get set, go! Ready to discover all you can be….

Using an extensive tool kit, I can not only show you how to be the best that you can be, I will guide you to get out of your own way so that you can experience the love that you truly deserve.  Playing the fool and wallowing in the self-sabotage that goes with it will be history when you say yes to you!

By examining the events, perceptions and beliefs you have formed about yourself,  love and relationships you will gain the awareness that the past need not influence the future.

I will share with you the transformational tools and techniques to give you freedom from your past including the emotional baggage, self doubt and fear. You will move from helplessness to happiness and become the person who you’ve always have been and just forgot about.

Offering you the strategies for positive and lasting change guiding you back home to you, the place where love resides.
Who you are is so worth loving.  You are the key to finding and keeping the love you deserve.

For the month of April and in recognition of April Fool’s Day you be foolish not to take up this great offer.

Save 10% off ‘12 Weeks to Total Love and relationship Transformation’ when booking in April 2016.

Would you like to:

  • Get to the heart of your love and relationship problems?
  • Release the past?
  • Start believing in yourself more?
  • Move on from doubts and fears?
  • Improve your confidence and self Esteem?
  • Improve current relationships?
  • Learn to trust again?
  • Let go of feelings that you’re unlovable?
  • Remove the blocks that are holding you back from love?
  • Find practical solutions to your love and relationship issues?
  • Accept yourself just as you are?
  • Turn up your love dial and let love in?
  • Redirect your focus and find love?
  • Envision your future exactly as you want it to be?

It is easy to fool the eye but it’s hard to fool the heart – Al pacino 

Say yes to you!

25 Jan

The Voice of the Heart

How often do you truly connect in with your heart?

Hands, hearts sky

Do you find your head ruling your heart rather than the other way round?  If so read my blog ‘get out of your head and into your heart‘ 

It’s possible to increase heart centre connection using the exercise below and also the ones included here 

Heart Based Practical Exercise: The voice of the heart

Copy out or read aloud the following statements and include your positive heartfelt endings

 
• I experience love when I…..

 
• When I think about love I feel it in my (name the area of your body where you feel the energy of love. This might be somewhere else in addition to your heart)…..

 
• I have learnt to love and take care of myself by…..

 
• Love and heart focused connection fills up so much of my time that I forget to….

 
• I can…..

 
• My heart is full of love because I choose to…..

 
• The inner core of my being recognises love through…..

 
• This is my chance to…..

 
• When I listen to my heart it tells me…..

 
• I respect myself totally because…..

 
• I’m determined to…..

 
• I’m so happy that I now choose…..

 
• I am blessed to experience heart connection because…..

 
• I will…..

 
• I am strong enough to…..

 
• Love is now a part of me and I vow to…..

 
• I’m certain that I can…..

 
• I promise to…..

 
• This is my opportunity to…..

 
• It is my mission to…..because…..

 
• I am choosing to make the rest of my life…..

 
• I love myself unconditionally exactly as I am and in doing so I…..

 

Notice what changes in you day, week and month ahead when you get into the space of love and heart centred connection.

 

One love, one heart, one destiny – Bob Marley
When you’re ready to take the next step in exploring your hearts needs to support you in achieving your personal and business goals. I offer a range of support programmes. www.wendyfry.com  for love and relationship support and www.bepositive.me.uk for general therapeutic support.

11 Jan

Raising Your Love Vibration

We all need love and heart centred connection….

Since we were mere babies, to be loved, nurtured and connected with others is a natural human need inbuilt from our earliest years.

As adults, we no longer need to be reliant to find love and connection from the outside sources; we can meet our own needs independently by going into our hearts.

If you need a little more information about heart connection see my previous blog Get Out of Your Head and into Your Heart 

Heart Based Exercise: Raising Your Love Vibration- connecting with your heart space

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You can use this exercise in the written sense, writing down your answers or simply use as a visual exercise if you prefer.

Think about a dial with -10 being the lowest love score, 0 being neutral and +10 being at its highest rate of heart connection

How high is your heart connection dial right now?
• If your dial is anything less than a + 10 what do you need to start doing, stop doing or do differently to get it to a +10?
• How will your life change when you connecting with your heart space from a +10?
• What things do you love about life/yourself/others when you connect from the heart? (keep adding to that list so that you have a growing list of things to love and appreciate about yourself)
• What memories do you have of giving and receiving love?
• Remember how giving and receiving love felt, what you saw, heard and experienced, how was this achieved when you openly gave and received love through your heart?
• How can you be more loving towards yourself and others?
• What would happen if you accepted, allowed and welcomed more love into your life?
• How would your day change if you filtered for and looked for all the loving experiences you could find through heart centred awareness?
• How would your life change if you operated more from your heart and said yes to love for now and for always?

 

Reflect on your answers and notice where you might be falling a little short in the love vibration department.  If you need some extra help read my previous blog post Creating Possibilities through Heart Centred Connection 

The moment you surrender to love and allow it to lead you to exactly where your soul wants it to go, you will have no difficulty – Neal Donald Walsch

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Practical Exercise: Increasing Raising your love vibration

Use the following statements in addition to the prior exercise, either writing your answers  after the gaps, visualising the process or reading the statements aloud and ending in your own words.
Connecting with my heart I know….

Being more heart centred changes my life because….

I love how it feels when…..

I love knowing…..

It makes me feel so good that…..

I love seeing myself…..

I enjoy…..

I’m excited at the thought of…..

I love being…..

I’m delighted that….

I appreciate….

It feels so good to be….

I’m so happy that….

When you raise your love vibration through heart centred connection,  you feel differently about yourself and your future. When you can change your mind set about what is possible rather than what is impossible this changes your energetic vibration, try it and see.

Wherever you go, go with all your heart – Confucius

When you’re ready to work with me please do make contact at info@wendyfry.com to explore the range of tools and techniques I can share with you, Helping You to help Yourself!

Love and Relationship Support Programmes www.wendyfry.com

General Therapeutic Support www.bepositive.me.uk 

21 Dec

Christmas Frazzle or Christmas Cheer ~ It’s up to you…

Dreading Christmas? 

What’s worse, the thought of endless cooking and washing up or spending time with your ‘Out Law’s

It’s all to easy at this time of year to become frazzled, overwhelmed with doing and little time for being.

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Running round like a headless chicken trying to get the best turkey, stressing out as you stand in queues to pay with feet aching, busting for the toilet and your arms feel like they’re hanging off, it definitely is a case of ‘bah humbug’ and the Christmas spirit far from cheerful.

Often you get what you expect….

If you are anticipating problems getting things done, expecting grief from your in laws, the turkey getting burnt, relatives arguing or worse still fighting, what is this based on?

Often we project the past into the future experting the same thing to happen again and this is what we get.  My previous post Thought Tracking will help with this and aid for a peaceful day.

I invite you to make some you time in amongst the wrapping of presents and trying not to open the sweets you bought for Aunty Joan to have a little mind holiday called…

‘My Ideal Day’christmas-993287_1280 (2)

‘My Ideal Day’ is a creative way to get you thinking in a more positive and optimistic way from the heart.

It will move you beyond the anticipated  stress of Christmas, to a place where all things are possible, encouraging you to enjoy your day coming from the heart instead of the head.

When you focus on what you want and act as if it is already yours, it is likely to show up much sooner than you think.

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye – H. Jackson, Jr.

On a brand new sheet of paper or in a journal, write a story about how you want your Christmas Day to be. If you don’t have a pen and paper to hand, just think it through as if you were creating an anticipated and very positive movie about how your Christmas day will shape up.

This will be no ordinary day (remember you are putting the past behind you) it will be the story of your ideal Christmas Day and how it will be when everything goes swimmingly- think specifically here about your current relationships and family dynamics and who you would like to get on better with and include that in the main content of your writing.

You will be writing this in the positive, present tense, as if what you want has already come to pass and you are enjoying your life and relationships.

  • What will your day look like?
  • What will be happening?
  • How will you be feeling?
  • What will you hear going on around you?
  • How will you be spending your time?
  • How will you be thinking differently?

Take time to go over your story, making sure it’s complete and then read your story every day in the lead up to Christmas.

By focusing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want and getting into the energy space of the heart and acting as if having the ideal Christmas day.

If you need some extra help in understanding how your beliefs shape your future or you want to get clearer on how you want Christmas day to be.  You can download for free ‘Beliefs’ chapter three, from my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE at www.wendyfry.com/book/resources along with ‘The Do Want/Don’t Want’ exercise.

There are also two free audio’s for you to download 21 Steps to LOVE  and Standing in the Spotlight of LOVE

Keep love in your heart.  A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead – Oscar Wilde

Here’s to plenty of Christmas cheer!

From my heart to your with love,

Wendy x