29 Jul

Fear – What Stops You?

Say no to fear and yes to you.  

Now is the time to question your fears. 

Now is the time to challenge your limiting beliefs. 

Now is the time to recognise the outdated behaviours. 

Your past is not your future. 

Being aware of the past is helpful. 

Living there isn’t….

Fear only has to be acknowledged to be transformed.  Getting real with fear is beautiful, it’s freeing, it’s joyful.  It’s like no other feeling when you express what you know inside. 

Turn fear on its head.  Let’s do it together.  Feeling Excited And Ready?  I know I am…

I invite you to acknowledge your fear.  After all, it generally has had a positive intention up to now, most likely trying to keep you safe from some perceived danger or threat.  It hasn’t meant to cause you to harm or hold you back.  Fear was doing it’s best with the knowledge it had.

95% of what we think will happen doesn’t happen and now we’ve discussed that we may as well get down to business and write from the heart!

What story have you been telling others about yourself, your life and experiences which has an undercurrent of fear? 

What do you share about yourself on a first meeting? 

On those dark days when you retreat inside, how do you put yourself down?  What thoughts, actions and behaviours make you unkind towards yourself? 

With fear out of the way, what will communicate about your abilities and strengths?  Hopes, dreams, Joys? 

How will changing the meaning you place on fear and re-writing the story of your future serve you? 

What’s Your Story?  Rewriting your past – Transforming your future

I know I’ve been guilty of being a ‘so-called victim.’  I won’t even go there, I know those stories inside out and back to front.  They was sucking the life out of me and probably not very nice for those who are on the receiving end of draining and complaining.  I used to tell those stories at any given opportunity.  My negative experiences became my comfort zone, my identity, my go-to which I knew so well.  When I told those stories it was like a bad case of the farts, everyone got a waft of it. Phewwww.  Are you farting on everyone with your story and how does it serve you?

  • What fear-based story are you telling?
  • How long have you been sharing your fear?
  • What part of your experience is hindering you?
  • What is the cost of your fear? 
  • Are you willing to keep paying the price?

You are the author of your life.  You are the narrator, the publisher, the marketer.  What story are you telling?   

I invite you to write a letter to fear – Here’s mine

Dear Fear,

Thank you for protecting me and looking after me, I know you meant well.  I don’t know if you realise, you’ve been stopping me from what I know is in my heart is what I’m really want to do.  I have a calling and a purpose.  I want to live my life, not yours.   

I’m sorry fear, I have to let part of you go now.  I forgive you for the actions you have encouraged me not to take.  I forgive you for the opportunities you held me back from and the things which may have been rather fun. I forgive you for showing up when I didn’t ask you to. 

I want you to work with me now.  I want you to partner me on a new kind of adventure.  I love how you keep me safe from burning my hand, just like when my mother said ‘’ don’t touch the stove.’’ I love how you can make me run fast for the train so I can get to my appointment on time.  I welcome those times when my survival is at the threat to protect me intuitively.  I’m happy to keep that part of you and as for the rest, shall we both let go together with love so we can make the rest of our lives the best of our lives? 

I apologise for not acknowledging before the goodness and your constant giving to me. That was a heck of a lot of giving, all my life so far, all that fear, you obviously love me very much and showed that in the best way you knew how.  I understand you were doing your best to save me from myself , other people and experiences that reminded you of our past.  I am okay now.  I am an adult and I can handle it. 

I now choose to let that 95% of fear which wasn’t helping me go with love and maybe a little bit of glitter because even fear can play, shimmer and have some fun – it’s about time don’t you think?  As we are letting go of fear and there’s a hoofing amount to let go of, in its place, because we have been together for so long,  I ask you to go on an adventure with me.  We can fill that space with something far better.

I want you to stay by my side and show up this time differently.  I invite you to travel with me now so we can Feel Excited And Ready together.  How does that sound?  We can hold hands if you would like to until you are completely comfortable with this new behaviour.  Are you ready to see just how far we can go?  Come on, we can do it.  Let us explore life beyond fear and live it to the full.

I love you.  Thank you, Fear.  You taught me so well.

Wendy

Fear only has to be acknowledged to be transformed.  Getting real with fear is beautiful, it’s freeing, it’s joyful.  It’s like no other feeling when you express what you know inside. 

Your story matters.  Let it out from inside.  Write from your heart!

28 Jul

If You Want to Write You Will Find the Way

You’ve been lying to yourself or worse still making excuses.  Let’s go there.  I’m going to say it how it is.  You need to get out of your own way! 

What Gets in the Way of Writing

Print out the list before reading in full. I made it oh, so easy for you – click on  What Gets in the Way of Writing invitation and hey presto there’s your lovely Free pdf from little ole me.  I’m good like that. 

ACTION STATIONS!  QUICK. 

GET YOUR BODY MOVING GO GRAB A PEN while it’s printing. 

Run to your neighbour’s house ask them to print it out if you still haven’t replaced your in the cartridge or fixed your printer. 

Heck, if you have to, use the work printer when no one is looking! Shhh, I won’t tell. 

QUICKLY – Read the list and tick or highlight the excuses – whoops I mean reasons which apply to you.  Make sure your heart is racing as you read, this is going to be life-changing!

Add to the list any personal additional blocks which you foresee getting in the way writing.  yep, that one too.  Let’s have it! 

SPEED UP.  COME ON.  THIS IS LIKE FIGHTING FIRE.  DO IT QUICK SPEEDY GONZALEZ.  NO PONDERING.   IF THERE IS ANY HESITATION WHILE YOU ARE PAUSING FOR BREATH THEN MARK THE ENTRY IN SOME WAY.  YES.  JUST MARK IT! YOU CAN REST LATER…

What Gets in the Way of Writing

  1. Getting started
  2. Confidence
  3. yourself
  4. Patience
  5. Distractions
  6. Pen or pencil running out
  7. Guts
  8. Writer’s block
  9. Laziness
  10. Literacy
  11. Finding your authentic voice
  12. Self-judgement
  13. Perception of another person’s judgement
  14. Need for validation or approval
  15. Time management
  16. Self-prioritising
  17. Overwhelm
  18. Work
  19. Homelife
  20. Emotions
  21. Procrastination
  22. Taking responsibility
  23. Life Events
  24. Self-sabotage
  25. Fear of failure
  26. Shame
  27. Guilt
  28. Embarrassment
  29. Vulnerability
  30. Memory
  31. Lack of ideas
  32. Too many choices
  33. Environmental triggers
  34. Finances
  35. Being seen
  36. Perceived criticism
  37. Self-criticism
  38. Negative self-beliefs
  39. Self-doubt
  40. Negative opinions from others
  41. Articulation
  42. Forgetfulness
  43. Energy
  44. Motivation
  45. Lack of focus
  46. Exposure
  47. Fear
  48. Perceived rejection or criticism
  49. Comparison
  50. Honing your creative process
  51. Not feeling/believing ‘you’re good enough’
  52. Self-esteem
  53. Confidence
  54. Physical disability
  55. Learning Label (Dyslexia etc)
  56. Intimidation
  57. Depression
  58. Stagnation
  59. Self-discipline
  60. Perfectionism
  61. Boredom
  62. Emotions, thoughts and feelings
  63. Writer’s block
  64. Self-acceptance
  65. Hopelessness
  66. Learning about how to write
  67. Lack of self-belief
  68. Having your written works accepted
  69. Having your written works rejected
  70. Illness
  71. Developing positive writing habits
  72. Not completing what you’ve started
  73. Your inner critic
  74. Self-judgement
  75. Completing things
  76. Finding your writing community
  77. Other – Please list

Well done you!

Now ….

Drum roll…

Rip up the listWhat Gets in the Way of Writing

Turn it into a confetti storm

Shout out loud and proud…

‘’I’m done with that!’’

 76 excuses are not reason enough not to write.   You’ve been lying to yourself.  If you want to write you WILL find the way!  

Now write this down


 Give yourself a pat on the back for making time for you! 

You can have a little dance and ‘Celebrate Good Times, Come On!’ – Just for fun. Oh yes!

Clap your hands together and shout ‘’hoorah.’’

Point to yourself and say, ‘’I AM a Writer!’’ 

Cartwheels, high fives Goddess and Warrior dances  and other extravaganza optional. 

And now we have calmed down.

Let’s get down the business of writing!

This prelude is taken from my third book ‘Write from Your Heart’ due for release in 2020. please do make contact when I can be of help and support to you.  I have a range of personal support programmes, writers workshops and fabulous writing retreats.  

My mother taught me how to read and write. As much as I hated learning the alphabet at the time sitting amongst balls of scrunched up paper crying my eyes out as I simply could not get it right the first time or the next, or the next.  I am grateful for the legacy she left behind. To write from your heart like a bird on a wing is freeing. Soaring above my past and looking back on how far I’ve come.  I invite you, dear reader, to do the same.


Working with you and for you sharing your message, your passion and your purpose.

 

27 Jul

Creative Play – Writing by Hand

Your handwriting is personal and intimate in the same way your voice and fingerprint is unique. 

In my work as a therapist, writing and creativity coach, it never ceases to amaze me how much fun adults can have when they bring the creative play to writing.  As adults we forget to play and miss out having fun. 

Whether it’s finger painting, conducting a ‘word’ orchestra with fingertips and making the shapes of letters in the air, writing with pasta shapes or etchings in the sand, creating and expressing freely ignites the heart. 

When you make time for play, writing can be fun.  Choosing to express yourself fully in the written word by hand transmits the voice of your heart to paper.  Creative play in whatever shape or form makes the journey of your personal and writers evolution a magical one. 

Don’t take my word for it.  Try out for yourself.  Notice your energy and joy for life rise and your productivity increase. 

Today, tomorrow, every day of your life.  Write and play from your heart. 

25 Jul

ABC, Easy as 123, simple as do re mi

From an early age, I hated writing.  As much as I tried, tongue sticking out in concentration, trying to remember the shape and the curve of each letter.  My little fingers gripping a stubby pencil and saying ‘bottoms’ when I missed out sections of the alphabet or confused the letters back to front.  As for the ‘b’s’ and ‘d’s well that’s another story.  I simply couldn’t get it right.  Perhaps you’ve been there too? 

I dreaded having to recite the alphabet though I must admit, between you and me, the ‘L, M, N, O, P’ section was the most fun.  Taking a deep breath in when I got to this part, puffing up my chest in a sing-song voice and waving my arms about as if I was conducting an orchestra, I always remembered the lemon part as I called it! Join me now, stand up, take a breath and shot out ‘’L, M, N, O, P’’ in your best voice and have a little shimmy with it if you must.

When it came to writing out the alphabet in its completeness, I can remember sitting on the chocolate chequered carpet which made my eyes go funny in Milton Road, Wimbledon, SW19, the house where I grew up. It wasn’t often I was allowed chocolate and definitely not before teatime! but  seeing the chocolate carpet  and thinking about chocolate well, on occasion when needs must, and no one was looking I’d clamber up on the kitchen stool, prize of the Tupperware lid of the chocolate stash container and have a good old much blaming  any unaccounted for chocolate bars on my brother!

Grumpy, tearful and afraid of ‘THE ALPHABET’ which seemed as bad as saying or hearing a rude word and not knowing what it meant, I KNEW IT WAS BAD!  I sat cross-legged, full of pins and needles in my legs from lack of movement, surrounded by balls of scrunched up paper crying my eyes out. 

My mother’s angry red face looking fit to burst because I couldn’t learn the alphabet as quickly as she wanted me to.  The memory of her shouting and waving her index finger in a pointed way – ‘’you’ll learn this bloody alphabet if it kills me’’ stayed with through the days of trying to write and the night times too hoping I would eventually remember and save her from ALPHABET DEATH.  In the confused mind of a four-year-old didn’t I want to get it right in case it killed my mum, subconsciously I was blocking myself from getting things right and writing.  What past experience might be blocking you? 

I will let you into a couple of secrets.  Oh, no, not ‘those ones,’ they are still a secret.  Learning can be stressful and when my mum wasn’t hovering over me with that look of hers on the ‘You Will Learn the Bloody Alphabet Days,’ and left me to my own devices to practice, practice, practice, I poked out my tongue, pulled the underneath of my eyes down with one hand and pushed my nose up with the other hand at the same time.  I’m laughing aloud here as I remember this.  Try it out for yourself.  It’s a lot of fun!

All joking aside, to release the emotions building up because I was making my Mum mad, I would sit and press, and press, and press in the dimples of the ‘Rice Crispy Wallpaper’ surrounding the fireplace (the bubbly kind of raised paper which you can deflate with your thumb and make a little mark)  now that really did feel good and gave me a sense of triumph.   If she did notice, she didn’t say anything or maybe thought it was my brother. 

So you see as much as I love The Jacksons song  ‘ABC, Easy as 123, simple as do re mi,’ It really wasn’t easy for me.

What do you remember about learning to read and write?

What actions did you take to make your past work for you, not against you? 

Got a book inside you and don’t know where to start? 

Your words and your story matter!  

Let’s find a way to make it happen and turn your book ideas from dreams into reality. 

Offering you an invitation and opportunity to join my FREE 21 Day Write from Your Heart Journaling Invitation starting 1st August 2019 online via a private Facebook group to discover your authentic voice within. 

Contact directly to request to join and to discuss your writing goals and options of support.  

What’s the best that can happen when you write from your heart? 

 

22 Jul

Blog

The Seeds You Plant Today Become the Story of Your Future 

Your Story Needs to be Told 

On researching why people don’t write, stop writing or simply give up on the dream it became evident to me the emotional side of writing needs to be dealt with first and foremost. 

Writing isn’t about writing, it’s about showing up as who you are.  Confidently sharing your message.   Writing and speaking from your heart regardless of what other people think, say or do.  It’s about gaining courage, sharing your truth and growing into YOU.

‘’Your life tells a story and there is someone out there who needs to hear it.  You may think your story is not sensational, but it does not have to be sensational.  It just has to be sincere.  If your audience can relate to you and your experiences, and chances are they will, then you need to tell what you have been through, share your life, share your love and share your message with the world’’ Mark Brown 1995 World Champion public speaker.

My third book ‘Write from Your Heart – Discover your authentic voice through journaling’ is due for release in 2020 will support you in moving through the limits in your mind to find new ways to start afresh taking your writing mojo to an all-time peak.

The good news is you won’t have to wait until 2020 to access the material from Write from Your Heart.  Starting 1st August 2019 you are invited to the ‘21 Day Write from Your Heart Journaling Invitation’ Private Facebook Group.  Email directly to be added to the group or to find out when the next writer’s workshop, training course or retreat is running.  https://wendyfry.com/21-day-write-heart-journaling-invitation/

I will leave you with this thought.  Once you take action, get yourself out of your way and ditch the limiting beliefs about writing and becoming an author.  Writing is easy!

You may as well start writing from your heart! 

 

 

22 Jul

I Believe in Being Real

Having the title, ‘author’ doesn’t mean I’m some sort of guru who needs to be bowed down to or held in revere.  There is no need to stutter in my presence, put on your posh voice or talk about the weather. 
I am possibly no different from you.  I too am a living, walking, talking breathing person with feelings, doubts and worries.  Life has thrown me its fair share of curveballs, poop storms, and drama – Enough to make me scream ‘’stop the ride I want to get off.’’ 
I’ve abandoned the rollercoaster when I’ve needed to.  Walked round in circles somewhat.  Had a good cry AND eaten the family pack of biscuits as well as the whole tub of a certain Cherry Garcia. 
After taking time out when the going’s got tough, to breathe and breathe some more.  I’ve dusted myself down and in the absence of sage, ‘Mexican Waved’ myself and then performed my finest Wonder Woman, Lynda Carter spin around.  Climbed back on the ride with my Dorothy ”You Had the Power All Along My Dear” red sparkly shoes,  added some extra gumption and donned a kickass attitude to boot.
Without you, ‘the reader of my words,’ the word ‘author’ or ‘writer’ is a title which has no meaning.  I am who I am – because of you.  YOU, wonderful, beautiful person that you are.  YOU took the time to read my words and I thank you.
We are on this journey called life together.  For some reason we are here connecting right now, spooky I know or maybe it’s The Universe working its magic. 
I intend to be real and meet you where you’re at.  Two hearts connecting as one.  All of you and all of me though I warn you in advance – I may not share my ice cream tub because we both know…there really only is enough for one. 
Sign up to my FREE  21 Day Write from Your Heart Journaling Invitation Private Facebook Group starting 1st August 2019.   We will have some fun, show up as who we are, write stuff down, take action and follow the yellow brick road. 
Email directly at info@wendyfry.com with your Facebook URL to be added to the group. 
https://wendyfry.com/21-day-write-heart-journaling-invitation/
Write from your heart and discover your authentic voice through Journaling.   Popcorn optional…