12 Aug

Real Life

Have you heard the saying ‘’what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?’’ 

Real-life isn’t always kind.  Anyone of us may experience a setback, an overwhelming challenge or something which takes us off the course of action we had planned.  No one is infallible to ‘real life.’ 

You can read about some of the automatic negative and overwhelming thoughts we may each experience when the ‘poop hits the fan’ adding  fuel to the fire right here.

In times of stress, in my life experience as a coach and mentor I’ve listened to people shout ‘’Life Sucks,’’ and ‘’Stop the ride I want to get off’’ or worse still” I can’t take it anymore.” The information shared here will support you in exploring your thinking in relation to life’s stressors and to question is life really as bad as you think it to be.  

All those worries, fears and imaginings.  How much of that mountain of stress came true?  All that anxiety you put yourself through – for what?  Time wasted worrying about ‘what if’ this, that or the other happens when there is no evidence it will come true except in your thinking?

So – over to you.  Let’s go there, let’s address ‘real life.’ Take my hand if you need to, I got my big girl panties on and we can do this okay? 

What’s your catchphrase when life takes you down and the going gets tough?

Write about a time in your life when you were screaming your little head off and at the end of your tether.

Perhaps right now, you’re dealing with issues you hadn’t foreseen, and the pressure is building up – write about it, please.   You can thank me for being pushy later… 

Write about your experiences freehand in a journal express what it feels like to be living real life when it’s in its most raw form.  

What have you had enough of? 

What keeps you awake at night?

Write that stull down before you go to sleep! So, you can actually, yes sleep. Makes sense, right? 

Journaling has considerable positive health benefits.  Emotional, physical and mental health can all be improved through writing, so much so my third book ‘Write from Your Heart-Discover your authentic voice through journaling’ due for release in 2020 is dedicated to this subject.  If you can’t wait that long to get the facts, contact me here and let’s get the party started. 

In addition to writing about life’s challenges as and when they hit, it will also support you to write about your inner strengths.  Resilience.  Attitude and personal ability detailing how you moved beyond past problems and what you did move through life being a b*tch.  

For every problem there is a solution.  I believe you will find it.  I do, I believe in you.  Can you go there with me and believe this for yourself? 

Did you know, you can even write words of encouragement from your ‘future self’ to the you that’s sitting there reading this blog post right now?  It’s easy to write this way, try it and see.  The you who has moved beyond today’s challenges will love to hear the ‘future you’ s loving, nurturing and understanding voice of the heart. 

What reassuring words do you need to hear right now?  Write them down. 

Everything will be okay in the end…  

Where you’re at right now isn’t the end.  It’s a phase you are going through.  This too will come to pass. 

Life is precious and we are truly blessed to be here.  

We may forget at times to enjoy life and find happiness no matter how small when everything seems overwhelming. 

Life is worth celebrating when we stop to pause.

Take a moment.  Join me right now.  Stop.  Slow your breathing down.   Take nice, deep and easy breaths in and out, again.  Repeat.  Notice you are still breathing – amazing isn’t it.  

You are here right now.   It’s okay.  You’re going to be okay.

Give thanks to you.  A moment of self-appreciation.  A pat on the back.  A smile of acknowledgement.  After all, look how far you’ve come.  You are amazing.

Living to Tell the Tale

  • What’s your journey, what have you overcome despite all odds?
  • What makes you personally grateful to have the life you are now living?
  • How did you get this far?
  • What would be your best advice to someone who has gone through your own experience?
  • What’s your new motto for life in hindsight of what you’ve learnt and overcome? 

Mine is’ ‘Bring it on.  What’s the best that can happen?’’ 

When you write from your heart freely by handwriting in and of itself can be cathartic, energising, motivating and inspiring so you can get on with the ‘busyness’ of life. 

” A problem shared is a problem halved,” so says ‘the old wives’ tale.’  The truth of it is, if there really is no one to listen to what you have to share your writing journal will always be there for you, ready to support you with a listening ear. 

I believe we are all natural storytellers and have the ability to write and speak from the heart and although this blog is aimed at writers and aspiring authors any of the articles and exercises shared within my blog pages can be adapted to  suit your personal situation and real life.

On the subject of life and writing.  If it really does get too much to handle and the going gets tough you can contact me here to support you in getting to the heart of the matter.  Offering tailored solutions, support programmes, VIP Days and writing retreats to support you with everyday problems and matters of the heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

02 Aug

Have you got ANT’s in your pants when it comes to writing?

ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)
 
Ant infestation?  Can’t get to itch that scratch? 
 
You know you need to do something about those pesky ants when  your thoughts stop you writing from your heart.
 · Mind reading- you assume you know what people, editors, publishers and readers think without having enough evidence
 
· Fortune telling- you predict the future negatively, things will get worse or there is a danger ahead, your book won’t sell and you’ll be starving
 
· Catastrophizing- you believe that what has happened or will happen will be so awful and unbearable that you won’t be able to stand it so you lock yourself away and procrastinate about writing
 
· Labelling- you give global negative traits to yourself and others including ‘Self-publishing.’  Discounting positive outcomes- Self-publishing could make your book a best seller on Amazon
 
· Negative filtering- you focus on the negative all the time and don’t often notice the positives of writing for fun, enjoyment and to get paid 
 
· Over generalising- you see a global pattern of negatives based on a single incident Dichotomous thinking you view events or people in all or nothing.  ”They turned my book away therefore I’m a useless piece of dog doo .”
 
· ‘Shoulds’- you see events in terms of how things should be, rather than simply focusing on what is.  ”I will only write if I can get a book deal so there!’ 
 
· Personalising- you assume an unreasonable amount of the blame to yourself for negative events and fail to see that certain events are caused by.  My mother said ”don’t be a show off or big myself up.” Oh, I better not be an author then…
 
· Blaming- you focus on the other person as the source of your negative feelings and you refuse to take responsibility for changing yourself. ”I can’t possibly write I have a home and family to run, they would never put up with it.”
 
· Unfair comparisons- you interpret events in terms of standards that are unrealistic, you focus on others who do better than you and find yourself feeling inferior.  ”I’m never going to be the next J.K Rowling.”
 
· Regret orientation- you focus on the idea that you could have done better in the past, rather than on what you can do better now.  ”I’m too old to write now – look at me.” 
 
· What if?- you keep asking a series of questions about “what if” something happens and you fail to be satisfied with any of the answers. ”What if I write and no one wants my book.”  
 
· Emotional reasoning- You let your feelings guide your interpretation of reality.  ”Me write – oh, no I could never do that it’s way too scary to write and publish a book.  What would my parents, neighbours, husband think? ”
 
· Inability to disconfirm- you reject any evidence or arguments that might contradict your negative thoughts.  ”No. My English teacher clearly said I would never amount to anything if I was staring out the window and swinging on my chair all day.”
 
· Judgement focus- you view yourself, others and events in terms of evaluations as good-bad or superior-inferior, rather than simply describing, accepting or understanding. You are continually measuring yourself and others according to uninformed standards and finding that you and others fall short. You are focused on the judgement of others as well as your own judgements of yourself.  ”Nope, not doing that.  People will judge me, they will think…”Heck you know this story I’m not even going to type it up here. 
 
Don’t let those ANT’s in your pants or your head eat you alive. 
 
ANT control to your rescue itch that scratch. ! 
 
This excerpt is an adaption from my first book Find YOU Find LOVE  especially for antsy writers. 
 
Don’t make an anthill out of it. Take control of your ANT’s NOW.  What’s the best that can happen?