04 Jul

Missing Events – Making up for lost time

When you think of your past, what was it you wanted you didn’t receive?

Was it the love from another, a promotion, recognition from someone important to you, being included in a group, praise for a job well done or simply feeling accepted for who you are?

Each of us crave different things, often it comes down to the need for love, acceptance, approval or oneness.

Any emotions and feelings not acknowledged in childhood

In my work as a therapist many of my clients talk about the things which happened in their lives which they regret. They tell the story of the disappointments, unfairness, heartbreak, despair and the beliefs they formed about themselves, the world around them and/or other people.

It’s true our past events do affect us until we resolve them but how often do we talk about the missing events and how to heal the past by creating a new way of thinking?

Until I discovered Matrix Reimprinting (you can read more about it here In Karl Dawson and Sasha Allenby’s first book on the subject) Matrix Reimprinting Using EFT: Rewrite Your Past, Transform Your Future, I too had many missing events from my past and many limiting beliefs which were ruining my life.

The beauty of Matrix Reimprinting is you can go back to a time in your past when you formed limiting beliefs such as ‘i’m not good enough’, ‘pretty enough’, ‘slim enough’, ‘worthy enough’, ‘lovable enough’ etc and work with your ECHO (Energetic Consciousness Hologram) otherwise known as your inner child who formed these limiting beliefs.

A little like re-writing a story, working in the matrix gives you the freedom to go back, make up for lost time and say or do what you didn’t say within the  remembered event giving the younger you the power to change your experience of that time.  Although you can’t actually change the past you can go back to the memory of when you formed a limiting belief, learn why you put it in place and clear the energy which remains utilising EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) you can even put in a new ending and take your inner child off in a whole new direction with a fresh and empowering belief which serves you.  There is so much freedom in doing this and life takes on new meaning.

At the age of fifteen, I formed the belief ‘I not lovable’, it was on reflection a misguided belief which came from my father leaving my mother but at the time I took this as a personal rejection, this played out in my life and shaped the outcome of my relationships spanning over 20 years, expecting those I had relationships with to leave or abandon me.  I’ve written about it here in my first book Find YOU Find LOVE.  Which includes EFT to clear the past as well as The Spotlight Process to help you monitor your thoughts, beliefs and how to change them.

Thinking about what it is you want to achieve in your life, what stops you?  

What are the limiting beliefs which get in your way of having loving relationships, the career or promotion you want?

What stops you trying something new?  

Who from your childhood are you still carrying resentment towards?

Which negative emotions do you suffer from the most?

Who or what triggers these emotions?

What limiting beliefs do you have about yourself?

What is preventing you from feeling more at peace with yourself? 

What else is holding you back in your life?

What is your ECHO (inner child) holding onto which still hurts you now?

What are the missing events you wish had happened?

If you were able to go back and create a new ending to an old story/event what would you do or say? 

How would changing your beliefs about yourself, others and the world around you benefit you?

I appreciate there are a lot of questions here.  You can learn more about limiting beliefs and how yours may still be influencing your current reality by downloading the free chapter here

I will continue to share in my blog how making up for lost time, using EFT and Matrix Reimprinting putting you back in control of your life.

Being aware of the past is helpful, living there isn’t.

From my heart to yours (and your ECHO) with love

x Wendy

When you’re ready to work with me you can check out your best programme here 

 

 

 

 

20 Jun

What’s blocking you from love?

It is crucial to ask yourself whether there is any benefit in keeping hold of limiting beliefs about love and relationships.

So far we’ve discussed:

Love and relationship beliefs ~

Thought power ~

How our beliefs influence the way we feel and what we choose to do ~

Limiting beliefs and lifetime issues ~

Discovering your limiting beliefs ~

It might seem like an odd question to ask but how do you benefit from holding on to your limiting beliefs?

We often hold onto something that may limit us as it has a ‘pay off’ or secondary gain, a benefit of some sort.  We may do this unconsciously without even realising it.   More often than not, the things we say we don’t want and don’t like are things familiar to us.  The feeling of familiarity and staying in our comfort zones can be appealing, even if we say we don’t like it, it’s known and in many ways feels ‘safe’.

It’s time to stop shining the light on the past, because that’s not where the future is

Think about the problem or limiting belief that you would like to change.  Measure the percentage of each belief and how true it is for you 0% being untrue and 100% being totally true for you.

  • Do I deserve to get over this problem?
  • Is it good for me to get over this problem?
  • Is it safe for me to get over this problem?
  • Is it safe for others if I get over this problem?
  • Is it possible for me to overcome this problem?
  • Can I choose to allow myself to get over this problem?

If your answers are anything less than 100% you might want to have a word with yourself, reflecting on the following questions

  • Am I willing to do what it takes to get over this problem?
  • What are the negative aspects of no longer having this problem?
  • What would I lose if you didn’t have this problem?
  • What are the positive aspects of not having this problem?
  • What needs to happen for me to end this situation?
  • What resources do I have or need to end this situation?

Changing beliefs need not be difficult.  The first step towards changing our limiting beliefs is with awareness

There are many tools and techniques available to support you in changing beliefs.  Martix reimprinting utilising EFT and The Spotlight Process are two of my preferred techniques to aid in belief change. You can find out more here

To check in further and to gauge if there are any resistances to changing your beliefs, current problems and challenges ponder on the following questions and answer with a yes or no.

  • I deserve to get over this problem
  • It is safe for me/others to get over this problem
  • I am willing to do what it takes to get over this problem
  • I will allow myself to get over this problem
  • I am ready to get over this problem
  • It is good for me to get over this problem
  • It is possible for me to overcome this problem
  • I benefit from getting over this problem
  • Others benefit from me getting over this problem
  • I have what it takes to get over this problem
  • I choose to get over this problem
  • I want to get over this problem

If you answer mostly no’s please do make contact and let’s work together to change those limiting beliefs.  Alternatively you can always explore my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE to get you back on track.

You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new – Brian Tracey

31 Mar

Stop Playing the Fool

Stop Playing the Fool. 

sad-woman-1048898_1280 (2)

  • How often do you find yourself laughing things off when deep down you’re hurting?
  • What makes you wear a mask of who you think you should be rather than being all of who you are?
  • When do you find yourself not putting you first in relationships only to find the relationship fails anyway, when you’ve given all you’ve got and then some? 

April Fool’s day comes but once a year, though how often are you playing the fool and not really living your life on your terms? 

Help is at hand.

If you’re:

  • Fed up with waiting for more love, fun and happiness in your life…
  • Ready to let go of the past and focus on having a positive and loving relationship that fulfils you…
  • All set to be accepted for who you are and totally and free to be yourself…
  • Eager to make the rest of your life, the best of your life…

I hate to say it.  The only thing stopping you is you!

I stopped playing the fool a long time ago and have to say it’s liberating.  Gone is the mask of fear, the long nose of lying to please others, the need for approval or acceptance.  Gone is the me I thought I had to be, it’s the best thing i’ve ever done and I want to share with you the tools and transformation techniques which stopped me playing the fool.

On your marks, get set, go! Ready to discover all you can be….

Using an extensive tool kit, I can not only show you how to be the best that you can be, I will guide you to get out of your own way so that you can experience the love that you truly deserve.  Playing the fool and wallowing in the self-sabotage that goes with it will be history when you say yes to you!

By examining the events, perceptions and beliefs you have formed about yourself,  love and relationships you will gain the awareness that the past need not influence the future.

I will share with you the transformational tools and techniques to give you freedom from your past including the emotional baggage, self doubt and fear. You will move from helplessness to happiness and become the person who you’ve always have been and just forgot about.

Offering you the strategies for positive and lasting change guiding you back home to you, the place where love resides.
Who you are is so worth loving.  You are the key to finding and keeping the love you deserve.

For the month of April and in recognition of April Fool’s Day you be foolish not to take up this great offer.

Save 10% off ‘12 Weeks to Total Love and relationship Transformation’ when booking in April 2016.

Would you like to:

  • Get to the heart of your love and relationship problems?
  • Release the past?
  • Start believing in yourself more?
  • Move on from doubts and fears?
  • Improve your confidence and self Esteem?
  • Improve current relationships?
  • Learn to trust again?
  • Let go of feelings that you’re unlovable?
  • Remove the blocks that are holding you back from love?
  • Find practical solutions to your love and relationship issues?
  • Accept yourself just as you are?
  • Turn up your love dial and let love in?
  • Redirect your focus and find love?
  • Envision your future exactly as you want it to be?

It is easy to fool the eye but it’s hard to fool the heart – Al pacino 

Say yes to you!

15 Feb

Emotional Freedom Technique ~ EFT for Positive Change

Over the next few weeks I take great pleasure in sharing with you the Emotional Freedom Technique, otherwise known as EFT or Tapping.

I will be sharing specifically EFT for love and relationship problems taken from my book Find YOU, Find LOVE: Get to the heart of love and relationships using EFT

Find YOU Find LOVE

In last week’s blogWho Else Wants Emotional Freedom I offered an overview of EFT though this week I will cover the history of EFT, How to use and apply it, endorsements for EFT as well as various components of EFT.

I will break it all down step by step for you, for easy reading safe in the knowledge by using this technique it will seriously change your life for the better!


change-671374_1280 (2)

The History of Gary Craig ‘The Main Man’

Gary Craig, founder of The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is a very wise man.  Gary suggests with EFT to ‘’try it on everything’’   and I couldn’t agree more.  In my mind, EFT is the perfect remedy to be included in everyone’s ‘medicine cupboard’ and the good news is that it has no nasty side effects!

Gary created EFT, The Emotional Freedom Technique as an offshoot from Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT).  Gary simplified the process of TFT and created EFT.  Gary understood that ‘’the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s energy system’’ and he’s used it with thousands of people to improve their physical and emotional health.  What a legacy to leave behind, to be able to change lives for the better, using this simple technique.

I came across the emotional freedom technique many years ago when I worked for a health care provider.  Several of the therapists who were part of our network of affiliates, used EFT with their clients which had some very beneficial effects.

I became interested in this type of energy work, already being a qualified Reiki practitioner the concept appealed to me.  As I gleaned more information about this powerful technique, I wanted to learn this not only for myself but also to share with my own clients.

I have personally used EFT to work through painful childhood memories, personal limitations and beliefs and I share this technique with my clients and now you the reader to support you in working through your own challenges and setbacks.  EFT gives you the opportunity to transform and to be free from the ties that may have been binding you and keeping you stuck in the past.

What is EFT and how can I use it?

EFT is classed as an Energy Psychology.  Energy Psychology focuses on the connected relationship of energy, emotions, behaviours and health.  EFT works by shifting the brain’s electrochemistry and works by stimulating energy points on the surface of the skin.

EFT combines the principles of Chinese Medicine with modern psychology.  Our emotional and physical health depends upon the smooth flow of energy through our body’s energy meridians.  Emotions affect our energy systems and when we are tuned into a negative thought, emotion, situation or event our energy system disrupts and literally responds to the thought.

background-1076263_1280 (2)

Improving energy flow

By clearing and releasing emotional conflicts through EFT tapping, our energy system is stimulated and balances out any energy disruptions.  Our energy flow is improved, in turn our physical health and emotional wellbeing is also improved.

EFT works in a similar way to acupuncture though without the use of needles to stimulate energy flow.  EFT includes bringing awareness to emotional issues as well as physical ailments.

An acupuncturist would study more than three hundred meridian points and use a needle to stimulate energy flow. With EFT, we use our fingertips to tap gently on some of our energy meridian points/energy pathways to stimulate energy flow, transforming and releasing emotional and physical symptoms as we go.

EFT at your fingertips

hand-1000025_1280 (2)

In next week’s blog I will share the EFT Tapping points with you.  We tap directly on the surface of the specific points with light and gentle tapping movements, some people may prefer to gently rub these spots if they are using EFT in a public space.  Tapping gently and stimulating these points moves the flow of energy through the entire meridian system.

Once EFT has been learnt (and it’s so easy to pick up) it can be used anywhere in any circumstance, it’s portable and very easy to master and can often reduce an emotional intensity in as little as five to ten minutes of tapping.  For some longer standing problems, several sessions and rounds of tapping may be required to reduce the emotional intensity.

There is great freedom in tapping and releasing your trapped or uneven energy flow, which has been blocked and holding you back from being open to love and loving relationships.  Persist with using EFT regularly and you will reap the benefits tenfold.

Your energy can be influenced positively or negatively by what you think about.  EFT will support you in dissolving and resolving the emotional charge connected to any memory, event or person. You can further help yourself by bringing your thinking into alignment and being aware of where your mind has been.

EFT crown

EFT can be applied to a range of emotional problems or physical symptoms.  Once you are familiar with the technique, it will support you in not only releasing negative emotions, but will also allow you to tap into those inner resources you always had but just forgot about.

EFT can be used to clear past traumas, overwhelming emotions and can also be used to increase relaxation, happiness and joy.  EFT can also be in the moment as and when a shock may occur.

It can be used to transform fears, anxieties, past events, current challenges, upsets, disagreements, physical ailments, emotional problems, relationship problems, aiding  personal healing, as well as self development, confidence building and life transformation – phew – and that’s not all!

EFT has changed my life so much for the better and my hope is that it will change yours, in ways you never imagined possible. EFT has paved the way for me to the road of freedom and amazing opportunities and I share it here with you so that you can take your own journey to all that is possible.

I hope that after reading my posts you will use EFT in your everyday life.  EFT is a technique I wish everyone knows about.  It’s so effective on many different levels.  It can be used to manage day to day life, along with those unexpected things and it may also improve your physical health and emotional wellbeing, as well as deal with past or current challenges and setbacks.

It is my wish for you, that EFT transforms your life in the way it has transformed mine and the lives of the people I have shared this valuable resource with.

What the people at the top are saying about EFT

Many self help authors, gurus and teachers endorse EFT, the word is waking up to the positive changes EFT brings and is spreading.

Louise L Hay author of You Can Heal Your Life said ‘’ When I first heard about using tapping or EFT (Emotional freedom Technique), I thought it was delightful that something this simple and easy could really work’’.

Dr Wayne Dyer recently said ‘’put away your scepticism, this really works…I’ve had great results with tapping in my own life.’’

Jack Canfield, Co-creator of Chicken Soup for the Soul, calls it ‘’the most powerful new transformational technology to come along in years.’’

I had the privilege of training as an Advanced EFT and Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner with the wonderful Karl Dawson www.efttrainingcourses.net

Karl co-authors Matrix Reimprinting Using EFT with Sasha Allenby

I’ve had the great privilege to have also contributed to his latest book Transform Your Beliefs, Transform Your Life co-authored with Kate Marillat.  Both books are excellent reads if you wish to develop your EFT toolkit.

human-skeleton-163715_1280 (2)

Your mind and body react to a continuous flow of information coming in through your senses. Every thought you think affects your body (physiology) and emotions.  Likewise every physical action affects your thinking and your mood.   Thoughts can create and heighten stress, sadness, depression as well as intensify feelings of joy, happiness and love.

I wish to encourage you to be aware from this moment on how your mind-body connection works.  Being aware of this connection, will help you to manage the ways your mind and body influence each other.  Being aware of your thoughts for even just a few minutes each day is a start.

Checking in with yourself as often as possible and monitoring your thoughts will serve you well.  When you manage your thinking to that which is more positive, or you allow your body to experience positive things such as exercise, relaxation and good health, the mind-body connection improve tenfold.

Measuring energy flow using the SUD Scale

EFT uses a scoring system to measure the depth and intensity of a problem and this scale is called SUD (Subjective Unit of Distress)   it measures on a scale of 0 – 10.

0 equates to feeling neutral and 10 equates to feeling high emotional distress.  It’s helpful as you work through various problems to measure before and after tapping, the level of distress you begin and end with.

This scale was introduced in 1969 by Joseph Wolpe.

Using this scale helps you to identify how much the problem may be affecting your physical and emotional wellbeing.

love fingers -382533_1280 (2)

Resolve and dissolve your problems using EFT

By making a commitment to yourself to apply EFT to work through the things that may have been holding you back in life and love, you really step into your own power in resolving and dissolving past hurts and fears.

Choosing to take personal responsibility right here and now to commit to yourself and taking responsibility for the changes that you would like in your life, is one of the best investments you will ever make. It’s through regularly working on yourself that the biggest changes occur.

EFT can be applied to any area of your life and used to transform the complete range of all emotions.  EFT has the capacity to change your life for the better, clearing the past and creating a space for the new.

I advise using EFT as soon as possible, in your everyday life.  Whenever and how frequently you use EFT is a personal choice.  You can never tap too much, only too little.

I personally use EFT as it has a positive chain reaction and works not just on one main issue but all the little connecting issues that are related to a problem.  If you have any doubt at all about whether or not to tap on problem, tap and see what comes up and what changes as a result.

As you read through my blog posts and download your free chapter on beliefs you will become aware of your old patterns, outdated behavioural responses and how you may have been unintentionally getting in your own way or blocking your own success, sabotaging love relationships without being aware of what you were doing.

We all do it at some point in our lives, unwittingly sabotage ourselves, as the fear of the unknown is greater than the fear of what is.  That is all about to change once you’ve discovered and apply EFT in your life.

I look forward to sharing more on this theme in the coming weeks with you.

For general therapeutic support check out www.bepositive.me.uk

For love and relationship support go to www.wendyfry.com 

 

 cropped jpeg of logo