18 Jan

PAUSE for Positive Change

We all have the same amount of hours in the day though I know many of you might wish you had more time to either get through your ‘In Tray’, deal with the hundreds of daily emails or simply want more time to connect with your family and friends.

I need to let you know, the secret of success is…Less is more!

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Working yourself into the ground, running on empty and worrying about everything creates stress.

Taking just a few minutes out of your day, brings you back into balance.  Getting you out of your head and into your heart.  By slowing down our thoughts, remembering to breathe and taking a moment to pause, will allow you to de-stress, do more and have time for fun stuff too.

Now is the perfect time to PAUSE and connect with your heart space Any time you find yourself going into your head, pause and use heart centred breathing.

Re-connecting with your heart space will support you in remembering your:

 
Passion

Ability

Uniqueness

Sense of Self

Energy of Love

 
Allow the pause to reach your heart space, breathe deeply and allow yourself to fully connect in love.  Feel that love and connection growing and expanding, filling up not only your physical body with beautiful energy.

Blast out that vibrant energy from your heart out into The Universe.

Create a positive ripple of heart connection across the planet.

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to believe that you do great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you will know when you’ve found it – Steve Jobs

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Heart Based Exercise: Making your future the best it can be

I encourage you to reflect on the following points, to make your future the best it can be. Ask yourself:

 
• What do I need to stop doing that holds me back from having a more heart centred connection with myself and others?
• What do I need to start doing to allow my heart to open fully?
• What can I commit to right now that will allow for a more heart centred approach to life and living?
Heart Based Exercise (apply daily as many of these heart centred self care choices as you possible)

I have listed below some activities that will aid you in being more loving to yourself and making time for you to be with you. What can you choose from these examples that will make you feel pampered, cherished and loved and what other ways can you find to love you?

 
Affirmations – starting and ending the day with positive affirmations while connection from your heart will aid towards general well-being creating balance and positive energy flow.

 
Being out in nature – connecting to nature is very restorative and reduces mental fatigue. It is both healing and cleansing, being out in fresh air and green spaces restoring one’s emotional health and physical wellbeing on many different levels.

 
Complementary Therapies – there are some wonderful therapies that may make you feel relaxed and at peace with yourself – for example massage, Reiki, HeartMath Coherence and Reflexology, as well as EFT are all are treatments which aid in the release of built up emotions in the emotional and physical body whilst also easing the mind.

 
Eating well – choosing healthy foods that you enjoy and which are natural and energising are an important part of looking after you and maintaining a healthy heart. Prepare for yourself delicious meals and treats with love and care. Use beautiful china to eat and drink from. Make eating a beautiful ritual where you honour your body and your health.

 

Exercise – Any form of exercise, whether it’s walking, cycling, swimming, aerobics, dancing or using a trampoline will release endorphins (the ‘happy’ hormone) into your body. Laughter Yoga if you haven’t yet discovered it is perfect for a lasting happiness effect. Exercise can make you feel energised, positive and confident and is also great for toning and shaping as well as pumping blood around the heart. Be sure to have some form of exercise in your daily routine and to build up gradually listening to your body at all times.

 

Gratitude – Practising daily gratitude has so many benefits.  Read this wonderful article by Monica Cafferky, freelance journalist  ‘How Writing a Daily Gratitude Diary Changed Our Lives’  I’m pleased to have been interviewed for this article and share with you how the attitude of gratitude changed me life in the Daily Express.

 

Rest and relaxation – down time such as listening to music, reading, taking a nap or making sure you have plenty of sleep when you need it, is a very loving way to look after yourself and your heart.

 

Meditation – You may also find meditation helps you to relax after a busy day or, as part of a daily morning ritual. Check out  Five Minute Meditations by Caroline Maidment which I highly recommend. Meditation lowers the heart rate and boosts immunity feeding the body with nutrients and oxygen.

 

Self care – such as taking luxurious baths with scented oils, candles burning and using wonderful body moisturisers and having a pamper, generally all helps one’s body to feel loved and cared for. Body brushing increases lymphatic flow through the body towards the heart. Choosing carefully the outfit you will wear for the day ahead, how you style your hair and if you wear make-up, taking care to apply and wear the colours that love you are all an important part of you showing yourself love, attention and care.

 

When you are kind and loving towards yourself connecting from your heart you act from a place of self love, it’s possible to expand, connect, amplify, magnetise and bring balance to your life.  Your thought processes change and you may find yourself being more positive about life in general, as you operate more from heart focused awareness.

It is beautiful to express love and even more beautiful to feel it – Dejan Stoganovic

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When you’re ready to take the next step and make your future the best it can be contact me for love and relationship support at www.wendyfry.com or for general therapeutic support at www.bepositive.me.uk email: info@wendyfry.com.

I work over Skype and also in person from my practice in Surrey offering a range of personal support programmes, workshops and VIP Days.

Remember to PAUSE, you’d be surprised what you find in the gap! 

21 Dec

Christmas Frazzle or Christmas Cheer ~ It’s up to you…

Dreading Christmas? 

What’s worse, the thought of endless cooking and washing up or spending time with your ‘Out Law’s

It’s all to easy at this time of year to become frazzled, overwhelmed with doing and little time for being.

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Running round like a headless chicken trying to get the best turkey, stressing out as you stand in queues to pay with feet aching, busting for the toilet and your arms feel like they’re hanging off, it definitely is a case of ‘bah humbug’ and the Christmas spirit far from cheerful.

Often you get what you expect….

If you are anticipating problems getting things done, expecting grief from your in laws, the turkey getting burnt, relatives arguing or worse still fighting, what is this based on?

Often we project the past into the future experting the same thing to happen again and this is what we get.  My previous post Thought Tracking will help with this and aid for a peaceful day.

I invite you to make some you time in amongst the wrapping of presents and trying not to open the sweets you bought for Aunty Joan to have a little mind holiday called…

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‘My Ideal Day’ is a creative way to get you thinking in a more positive and optimistic way from the heart.

It will move you beyond the anticipated  stress of Christmas, to a place where all things are possible, encouraging you to enjoy your day coming from the heart instead of the head.

When you focus on what you want and act as if it is already yours, it is likely to show up much sooner than you think.

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye – H. Jackson, Jr.

On a brand new sheet of paper or in a journal, write a story about how you want your Christmas Day to be. If you don’t have a pen and paper to hand, just think it through as if you were creating an anticipated and very positive movie about how your Christmas day will shape up.

This will be no ordinary day (remember you are putting the past behind you) it will be the story of your ideal Christmas Day and how it will be when everything goes swimmingly- think specifically here about your current relationships and family dynamics and who you would like to get on better with and include that in the main content of your writing.

You will be writing this in the positive, present tense, as if what you want has already come to pass and you are enjoying your life and relationships.

  • What will your day look like?
  • What will be happening?
  • How will you be feeling?
  • What will you hear going on around you?
  • How will you be spending your time?
  • How will you be thinking differently?

Take time to go over your story, making sure it’s complete and then read your story every day in the lead up to Christmas.

By focusing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want and getting into the energy space of the heart and acting as if having the ideal Christmas day.

If you need some extra help in understanding how your beliefs shape your future or you want to get clearer on how you want Christmas day to be.  You can download for free ‘Beliefs’ chapter three, from my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE at www.wendyfry.com/book/resources along with ‘The Do Want/Don’t Want’ exercise.

There are also two free audio’s for you to download 21 Steps to LOVE  and Standing in the Spotlight of LOVE

Keep love in your heart.  A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead – Oscar Wilde

Here’s to plenty of Christmas cheer!

From my heart to your with love,

Wendy x 

02 Nov

Make time to smell the roses…

When was the last time you stopped to smell the roses, luxuriated in a bubble bath, read a whole book in a day, took time out with friends or simply closed the door on everything and made some you time?

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People often ask me, ‘how do you keep going’?  To me it’s simple. I listen to my body. When I need more sleep, I sleep more, when I need space to think and recharge my batteries I go for a walk. If I need some support in working through a problem, I use the energy psychology techniques which I teach or seek the guidance of friends and trusted therapists.

No matter how good you are at juggling, if you have too many balls on the go, guaranteed you’re going to drop one or two every now and then. There’s no shame in dropping balls, having to start again or even take a complete holiday from juggling.

Take a moment and reflect on your day, your week, your month ahead and count just how many balls you are juggling.

Along with the physical ‘doing’ action of juggling you also have the emotional aspect and stresses and strains that go with keeping your eyes on all balls as well as anticipating new ones that might land at any moment.

Consider:

What additional things you are you squeezing into an already busy day?

Which daily actions are you making that you are doing so resentfully?

How often are you saying yes to others and no to yourself?

What are you letting people get away with?  

When did you last set clear boundaries about what is okay or not okay for you?

How much do you respect your time, your well-being, physical and emotional health?

If you continue this way what are the negative aspects of doing so?

If you were to start saying no to others and yes to yourself what would that give you?

What would saying no allow more of?

Decide to take one small action every day to bring yourself into balance.  Notice the changes as you say no to others and yes to you!

Whether you choose to do nothing and stare out the window, listen to some music, read a book, walk in nature, luxuriate in a bubble bath, make time to spend with friends or seek the support of a skilled therapist .  Life doesn’t have to be a continual struggle.

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Imagine, what life will be like when you enjoy juggling knowing you can put the balls down when you want to.

Think about what it will be like to know, even if you stop, for just a moment, the sky won’t fall in!  Just like in the children’s fairy tale ‘Chicken Licken’.  Perhaps even now, right in this moment you might give yourself some time to read this story once more.

There are things I’m good at, one of them isn’t juggling, nor do I wish to improve on how many balls I can juggle at one time. I’m good at keeping my own life in balance and at helping you to do the same.

Imagine what it will be like to be able to set clearer boundaries, to communicate clearly your preferred way of working, being, living…

Think about what it will be like for you to be treated respectfully and with kindness…

What if you were so clear about what it is you don’t want and what you do want in your life that nothing stops you from achieving your dreams…

Whether it be help with reducing emotional overwhelm.  Working out your soul purpose.  Setting up or expanding an existing business.  Working through past issues or identifying what it is you want for your future.  I have a range of programmes and services to make juggling those balls a thing of the past.  I also offer VIP Days for those of you who are ready to say yes to you!

For specific love and relationship support go to http://www.wendyfry.com

Make time to smell the roses and say yes to you!

 

 

 

 

 

23 May

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Have you ever laid on your back looking at the clouds?

Perhaps you’ve noticed shapes, patterns or even words written across the sky or simply lost track of time as the clouds pass by.

I was reminded yesterday of the phrase ‘every cloud has a silver lining’.  Even when things don’t seem to be going well and we don’t like the situation we are in, some good may come from it, yet to be revealed.

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As well as being an author a bigger part of my work is supporting others as an Emotional Health Consultant.  That may include working with people with physical pain too.

Yesterday my client came to me in physical and emotional pain.

I asked the following questions:

  • What is the gift in this situation?
  • How might this physical pain and injury actually be benefiting you? 
  • Since having this complaint, what have you stopped doing that you never enjoyed anyway?
  • What has this injury moved you away from that you are happy about?
  • What is it moving you towards that you want more of?
  • What is this injury giving you time for?

I ask a lot of open question in my work, some of the questions are frustrating and clients do get angry. They might shout and say ‘why would there be a gift in this, I hate having XYZ’.

Emotional and physical pain can be a touchy subject though asking these questions does bring clarity.

Sometimes a client might not know the answer straight away so I ask them to ponder the questions and either email me with the answers or share their learnings in our next appointment. It’s interesting to find out what their silver lining is.

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This reminds me of another client I worked with some time ago who didn’t like the question ‘what is the gift in this situation’, she shouted at me and rightly so, she was in chronic pain and had been for years with bouts of pain so bad she was debilitated for days on end.

She then emailed me a couple of months later to say I now have the answers to the questions you asked me.

This is a snapshot of what she said:

I’m sorry I shouted at you.  As much as I hated the questions I can now see that my body and the pain I was holding is in fact a gift.

The gift in this situation is my pain has stopped me going to work.  I now know now that I need to leave my stressful job and move away from the people in my workplace not respecting me or my time.  

I realise that a 3 hour commute each day is adding to my stress.  I hate working in London!

 

This pain is benefiting me as it’s actually laid me up in bed and given me time to think about what I want from life.

I want to live by the cost, in a small cottage and get a dog.  I want to be able to go on long walks with my dog and have time to live life and enjoy it. 

Since having this pain I have not been able to drive to see the people I have toxic relationships with.  It’s given me time to realise that I need to create new boundaries with family.  They weren’t respecting me and I wasn’t respecting myself.

This physical pain has helped me understand the emotional pain I’ve been holding onto from past events and given me an opportunity to work with you and get the right kind of help.

I’m pleased to say that this particular  young lady made contact last year to say she had moved to the coast.  Sent a picture of her adorable puppy.  She now has a new job which is walking distance and is living with a partner in a happy and harmonious relationship.

She is fit, active and only on occasional days when she does too much do the symptoms of chronic pain come back.  Se now has all the skills and resources to manage her pain through our work together.

So my questions to you are:

  • What are your silver linings?
  • How is the relationship you are in benefiting you? Or indeed if you are single what is the benefit of that?
  • The job that you do.  What is it stopping you from doing that you might be afraid of?
  • The physical or emotional pain you may be in.  How has this shaped your life and what do you want instead?
  • If you were free from the things that you don’t want and don’t like what might you have to do that scares you?
  • Now you know every cloud has a silver lining what can you do today that will support you in moving past your physical or emotional pain?

I have hundreds and hundreds of insightful questions that will help to bring clarity to your own personal situation.

I can share with you tools and techniques that put you back in control of your life.

If you’d like to work with me check out www.bepositive.me.uk Helping you to help yourself to live your life with purpose!

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03 May

Being or Doing?

Do you class yourself as a doer?

Someone who rarely sits still, always getting on with the next project, idea, theory.

Yep, me too, I can be like that ‘most of the time’

I’ve been practising ‘being’ instead of ‘doing’ today and I have to say…I’m loving it.

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As a self employed therapist and author I’m the boss, the cleaner, the admin assistant, the blogger, the post opener, the banker, the errand runner and the tea maker…the list of what I do on most days, including the weekends is pretty endless but I do it all with a loving heart purely because I love what I do and want to make a difference in the world in which we live.

I often set my clients ‘Home Play‘, which is really ‘Homework’ (don’t tell!)

I encourage them to ‘BE’ Instead of ‘DO’.

So today I practised what I preach. I took the day off from doing and just let myself be totally in the moment.

Sitting in sunlight, reading and listening to some relaxing music I simply let go of the doing, the striving the  achieving and allowed myself to submerge into stillness.

Having some valuable time out from thinking, ticking off lists, planning and ‘doing’ there is no greater medicine than this!

By being, I noticed so much more.

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The feeling of sunlight on my face…

The stir of a passing breeze in my hair…

The joy of living in this beautiful world…

The eloquent tunes of birdsong…

Blossom petals floating from a nearby tree…

Insects going about their work…

The world was alive with doing though I was simply being…

It’s as though time stood still…

It’s hard to describe what contentment means though for me this is as close as I can get…

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So are you a ‘doer’?  Nothing wrong with that.

I invite you to..simply be……

Tomorrow is a bank holiday in the UK.  It’s a whole beautiful day to BE!

86,000 seconds where you have the opportunity to simply live in the moment….

Please do let me know what you noticed by being, rather than doing.

There is so much to hear, see and feel when we stop doing and start being. 

For me ‘being’ today has fuelled my passion for life, living and loving.

Tomorrow isn’t promised.

Today…just ‘BE’ ….

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You’ll be glad you did. 

X From My heart to yours with love

Wendy

www.bepositive.me.uk

Helping you to help yourself live the rest of your life with purpose!