08 Nov

Your Mind is Amazing!

Your mind is amazing!

It’s a complete storehouse of information that you have gathered throughout your life from birth to now.

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We store information through our senses (sight, sound, taste, smell and through feelings)

Our minds can be compared to enormous filing cabinets or hard drives storing various movies that contain the good, bad and ugly experiences from out pasts.

Just imagine your mind as this enormous warehouse storing your own personal past.

What movies do you have archived away?

Which movies bring up fear, anger, sadness, bitterness and pain, putting you in a state of dis-ease?

These films are like taped conversations playing over in your head or an endless series of thoughts, feelings and emotions moving through you.

Although an event happened in the past we might re-live it a thousand times over by thinking about it, re-experiencing it like it was actually happening all over again.

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• Which personal movies of yours are on constant replay?

• How often do you wake up and go to sleep with an old movie still running?

• How does this affect you emotionally and physically?

• What do you want instead?

These movies often represent a constant flow of negative experiences that we’ve been through (the voice of our inner critic/voice of doom, like a parasite that eats away at us from the inside and a voice we start to believe in and feelings that we think are real).

We replay over and over the same movies and the same story, until story becomes engrained.

The movie or inner story then becomes a default behaviour that we respond to when presented with a situation that is like one we have experienced before and triggers off what we believe to be true.

Most of what we react to has very little to do with a new experience and everything to do with past experiences (old movies)

What a liberation to realise that ‘the voice in my head’ is not who I am. ‘Who am I, then? The One who sees that – Eckhart Tolle

Head F**k

Pardon my language here, though I feel it needs to be said.  What we allow into our minds and what we play over and over really does leave us feeling f**ked at times.

Think back to the past and remember a time when you spent all day worrying over something.  Perhaps you experienced sleepless nights and upset stomach?  Were you, smoking or drinking too much to help you cope?

We are our own worst enemies, re-living arguments from decades ago, complaining about the weather, our partners, the rate of inflation, the youngsters of today, the state of the health service, our fears for the future….I’m exhausted just typing this up and this is what our thoughts can do to us.

We cling onto negative feelings, thoughts and emotions not realising that it’s us that suffers.

We become addicted to talking about all the things wrong with life seldom coming up for air.

  • How often do you feel overwhelmed emotionally?
  • What happens to your physical body when your thought time is filled up with worrying thoughts?
  • What are your energy levels like when your focus is on what’s wrong going wrong for you?
  • What happens to your sleep pattern?
  • How is your daily diet and digestion affected?
  • What do you actually gain by going over and over events from the past, ranting, complaining, moaning and perhaps even nagging?

If you want a happier life, more connected relationships, greater confidence and good health read on.

Unless we gain control over our minds we really will be F****d! 

Remember, you are not your thoughts!

In order to change the world, you have to get your head together first – Jimi hendrix

 

Practical Exercise – Mind Dump: Freeing the mind one thought at a time

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Find yourself a note book or better still a lovely big pad of A4 paper and grab yourself a pen.  You’re literally going to dump out what’s in your mind freehand.

There’s nothing more liberating than setting yourself free from the ‘poop’ from the past that you’ve been holding onto. 

For this mind dump activity, I suggest that you do it first thing in the morning, last thing at night and whenever you feel emotionally overwhelmed.

If you’re dumping a lot that’s good – better out than in!

There’s nothing complicated about the activity you simply write out what’s on your mind un-censored.  Let rip and have a good old rant on paper, really say what you want to say, nothing is banned here, only you will see it.

You may have several topics that you write about such as people or outside circumstances that are causing you stress.

Write about your worries, concerns, fears, doubts, injustices, anxieties, frustrations, uncertainties etc.

Just write what comes into your head and allow yourself the freedom to voice your thoughts.

Write until you can no longer think of what to write.  Get it all out!

The more frequently you do the mind dump exercise the less you will find you have to think about and in turn the less you will have to write.

You will feel better for doing this exercise on a regular basis and feeing your mind.

No one else has had to hear your rants, you haven’t gone into the same story over and over in the day telling everyone you know what you’re going through, making them feel f****d too, you simply write and get it all out freely and easily.

If you need to cry do, get some extra soft tissues and make sure to give yourself some TLC (Tender Loving Care) as you work through freeing your mind.

Things can only get better from here on in.

The primary cause of our unhappiness is never the situation but the thought about it –Eckhart Tolle

The Past is Over and You Have Your Whole Life Ahead of You

When we begin to realise that the past is over and it’s purely our thinking keeping it alive, we gain a sense of freedom.

No one ‘thinks us’. 

We wake up and realise that we do in fact have ownership over of the power of our own minds and that we can choose how we react and respond to life’s ups and downs.

If you need some help in finding clarity, support in working through your poop and making the rest of your life the best of your life I will be delighted to work with you please do make contact at info@wendyfry.com

For general therapy & support http://www.bepositive.me.uk

For love and relationship support http://www.wendyfry.com

11 Oct

Seeing is Believing!

What’s your personal vision for the future in positive terms?

How will you know when you’ve achieved it?

What will it look like, sound like, feel like?

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I love using a ‘Personal Vision Exercise’ when I’m working with clients. When they are in their heads trying to analyse what it is they want and why and think things through rationally they are using conscious mind.

Left too long to our own devices, bogged down with the how’s we run the risk of staying stay stuck where we are and nothing changes.

It’s out creative subconscious mind which loves to make pictures, to see visions materialise, the artist of our dreams, the creator of our reality.   Unconscious mind is expansive  and limitless.

Imagine what you can create using your mind to it’s fullest potential…

You might like to try the personal vision exercise for yourself.

  • Take a whole bunch of magazines, holiday brochures, newspapers, guides, flyers and anything which has a picture on which makes you feel good and what you want as part of your future
  • Cut out key words or write your own in and also collect anything which represents your goal as already being achieved
  • Arrange your layout in a way that feels right for you
  • You can then glue into a journal, create a vision board or apply to the inside of a clip frame or make a poster of your personal vision and goal achievement
  • Making just five minutes a day to look at your personal vision, seeing really is believing.  What your mind conceives, it can believe and it will achieve!
  • Using this process you activate all senses, sight, sound, smell, taste and feelings.  Imagine turning up a dial of your senses and getting them off the scale to really experience the joy of achieving your goals at a cellular level

Seeing really is believing.  What you choose to focus on expands.  You will find what you focus on showing up in your life more and more.

So be sure to focus on the good stuff!

If it’s health, wealth, love, success, happiness or something else entirely, make this your personal vision for your future.  It will be time well spent!

Need a hand in getting started?  I’d be happy to work with you to achieve your goals.  Check out my services here

If you’d like specific support in the area of love and relationships check out the free resources and make contact when you’re ready to get to the heat of your love and relationship problems.

21 Sep

Body Talk: Using the power of words to heal

Your body is amazing!

Right now without even having to think about it you are breathing, your blood is pumping round your body, your heart is beating, you may have blinked several times.

Perhaps you are sitting down as you read this, knees bent, back and bottom supported, eyes reading the words and your mind making sense of their meaning.

All without having the think about it!

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On Friday I went in for a minor knee op called an Arthroscopy to ‘trim up’ a damaged cartridge using keyhole surgery.

I’d heard good and bad stories from people about what to expect and with thanks for their input I decided to set my own intention for the op telling myself that I would recover well and be back on my feet in just a few days.

Despite my osteopath telling me I’d be on crutches for 2 weeks, others telling me I’d be in excruciating pain and all sorts of other horror stories about anaesthetic the whole process was smooth running.

While I waited for the op, there were several other woman all worried about having the same procedure, one close to tears and extremely anxious.

So in conversation before they went down for their procedures, I planted some healing word seeds.

  • ”You will be surprised at how quick your body will heal”
  • ”Every day, in every way, you will feel better and better”
  • ”Having this op will bring you so many benefits”
  • ”While you are resting your body repairs itself even while you’re sleeping”
  • ”In less than a few days you’ll be able to move about much more easily than expected”
  • ”Your body is amazing and will adapt well to the changes made”

I was the last one to go down and it was good to see these ladies going off looking and feeling brighter than they did before.

In hypnosis we call this type of pre framing, ‘post hypnotic response‘.  It’s possible using words like this even in a waking state to influence a positive outcome.

Words have power and your body hears everything you think!

Always one to walk my talk, yesterday just a day after the op, I got myself up and walking, gently and sensibly, I did my post surgery exercises, and took a natural supplement for pain relief and inflammation reduction (Turmeric) with lemon water, a natural antiseptic deciding not to go for the prescribed meds.

I’m not quite doing cartwheels at the moment though I know in no time at all I will be back to the level of fitness I was before if not more so.

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My mind is willing and I know my body will follow the post conditioned response.

”Every day in every way I will get better and better”

I’ve realised as I’m approaching that fifty age mark in the not too distant future,  I’ve been a little guilty for taking my body for granted.

So from now on, when I write my daily gratitude journal there will be some credits going in for my amazing body and it’s inner intelligence to heal.

Thank you for joining me over the coming days and weeks ahead in practising gratitude to give thanks to your own amazing body.

Take nothing for granted!

Your body is amazing, it hears every word you speak.  Send it some love, thanks and appreciation for all that it does for you Including the ability to read this blog!

Body Talk: Use the power of your own words to heal!

If you need some help in being more positive about future outcomes please do make contact: http://www.bepositive.me.uk

I look forward to teaching you new ways of thinking, sharing transformational techniques, to release the past and create a future full of renewed confidence, self belief and love!

 

 

 

 

 

14 Sep

Seeing is Believing!

Beliefs are nothing more than empowering or limiting thoughts.

The beliefs we choose to give our attention to, guide our actions, behaviours and circumstances.

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We store information through our senses (seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and tasting)

Our perceptions of events, people and the world at large form beliefs that may not even be true.

Our core beliefs were developed at a time when we were children, when we had minimal ability to reason and think rationally for ourselves. The beliefs that were handed down to us were formed by our parents, mentors, teachers, environment and culture.

Core beliefs form the picture we paint of ourselves, a portrait of our own abilities, our worth, flaws, strengths and our relationships with others and with the world. Our beliefs establish the limits of what we think we can, or can’t, achieve.

We behave in ways consistent with our beliefs and values. Our beliefs impact on much of what we do, the thoughts we think, our feelings and our physical symptoms. We delete, distort and generalise information by forming an intricate filter of opinions, emotions and memories and we only notice what we think supports the existing belief.

Our thoughts, assumptions and beliefs influence the way that we feel and what we choose to do.

A limiting belief is a thought, or series of thoughts, that stop us from moving forwards in life.

Limiting beliefs could be based on past personal experiences or through witnessing the experiences of others. Limiting beliefs also shape the form of our thought patterns, including irrational thinking.

We all, at some point, experience limiting beliefs. Until we examine what it is we believe and change any limiting beliefs to a more empowering belief, we are often stuck in the prison of our own thinking.

Beliefs have the potential to be changed by cultivating awareness; we can choose what it is we want to believe.

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Challenging a limiting belief with awareness, effective questioning and using The Spotlight Process and EFT, may seriously improve a person’s sense of self worth, reduce fear, improve confidence, improve communication (internal and external dialogues) and open up all sorts of new and exciting possibilities.

What are your limiting beliefs?

Measuring Limiting Beliefs using The VoC Scale (Validity of Cognition)

To measure the how true a limiting belief may be for you there is a scale called The Validity of Cognition (VoC) Scale which is an individualised measure of beliefs, developed by Francine Shapiro.

Use the VOC scale to check the percentage of your current self limiting beliefs rating them from a 0 when you have no belief at all and 100 when the belief feels completely true for you.

Read through the list below using the Voc Scale to identify which limiting beliefs are true for you. Fill in the blanks where appropriate and add your own limiting beliefs

• Fear of not being good enough
• Fear of not being loved
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of separation or loss 
• Fear of failure
• Fear of being controlled by another
• Fear of success
• I don’t deserve xyz…..
• I am not worthy of xyz…..
• I’m not lovable
• I’m too……..
• I’m not…..
• I won’t be able to…..
• It’s impossible
• I can’t…..
• Something bad will happen if I…..
• What if it doesn’t work out?
• What if I get hurt?
• What if I lose…..?

Part of the process of changing limiting beliefs is cultivating awareness, so that we can distinguish the difference between:

• What we’d like to believe
• What we think we should believe
• What we truly believe.

It is often our limited and negative thinking that holds us back from the things that we seek. Beliefs are often so unconscious that we seldom question them.

With effective self questioning, taking into account:

• When the belief was formed
• Whose belief it is
• If that belief limits us or allows us to grow
• If the beliefs we hold are still appropriate for us

In order to change a limiting belief we need to change the internal picture, meaning and representation that we have of ourselves, of others and about the world around us, so that over time, our creative subconscious mind recognises new pictures, new meanings and beliefs as a new reality and filters from a different perspective.

Instead of looking through dirty windows at the same dirt, we notice things we never saw or experienced before.

Changing our beliefs offers a renewed sense of freedom and there is a willingness to take new risks once we decide to look at the world through new windows.

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Joking aside, I would like to remind you of some old, outdated, beliefs that you may have moved on from already:

  • Father Christmas
  • The Tooth Fairy
  • Monsters under the bed
  • Fairy tales and other stories

If you’d like to understand your beliefs at a deeper level and how they may be negatively influencing your life Find YOU, Find LOVE offers you a range of tools and techniques to support you in working through the things that are holding you back from achieving what you want from life.

When you are ready to work with me in person and experience a VIP Day please do make contact.  I look forward to hearing from you and helping you to help yourself.  Teaching you new ways of thinking, sharing transformational techniques, to release the past and create a future full of renewed confidence, self belief and love!

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