05 Oct

Do Your Relationships Need an Overhaul?

Working in the area of relationships all too often people contact me at their wits end not knowing what to do. They are fraught, upset, angry, scared and often feel very alone in trying to work out their next steps.

When speaking to their nearest and dearest in the hope to make sense of it all,  they get opinions, judgements and advice which really isn’t helpful and often further compounds the problem.

Emotions are a record of the past

Perhaps you too can remember a time when an important relationship wasn’t working,  when you didn’t know which way to turn, or indeed maybe right now you need a helping hand to guide you through understanding your relationships if they are not as you wish them to be.

Whether it be ‘significant other’ love relationships, family relationships, work relationships or indeed friendships there are times when the relationship as it is isn’t working and may well need an overhaul.

As much as we may want others to change, the change may well start with you!

Check out the free love and relationship inventory here

It’s all too easy to blame others for not meeting our needs though as adults we can take responsibility for meeting many of those needs ourselves.  Maybe we’ve never been taught how to stand on our own two feet and if you’re still carrying unmet needs from childhood you have no blueprint of managing yourself and project those needs out into your relationships.

The past few weeks I’ve been planning my new book which will feature specifically, the conflicting relationships between mother and daughter relationships.

I’ve decided to write it for daughters as my client base is mostly woman who have relationship problems which, when traced back often stem from unmet needs in childhood where their mothers have been physically or emotionally unavailable for whatever reason.

Any emotions and feelings not acknowledged in childhood

There is never any blame here towards your parents or caregivers, it’s often insightful to learn how far back down the time line unmet needs go.  Societal changes, changes in parenting styles, relationships ending, illness, global events, changes to living circumstances, schooling, your circle of influence and that of your parents, all play a part in whether or not your emotional and physical needs were met.

The good news is, unmet needs from childhood can be understood, worked through and as the adult you are now, you can re-parent yourself and give to yourself the loving relationship you may never have experienced. 

When working with my clients our aim is to get you to a place where you can meet your own needs. see the free self love inventory here for guidance.

Regardless of external events whether they go the way you want them to or not, you stay whole in your connectedness to yourself.  You remain complete in your love-ability.  You parent yourself in times of distress and uncertainty and most of all you remember who you are is so worth loving.

If you ever wondered whether there was a limit pg 177

Need a helping hand to guide you through  check out the range of services I offer to suit your needs.

From my heart to yours with love

x Wendy

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