Our thoughts are powerful creators….
It’s natural to have both positive and negative thoughts, it’s part of life and learning. Though consider how much of your time and energy is taken up with negative thinking?
Power Exercise – Thought Tracking: Use daily as often as possible through the day
For the next few days, observe how many of your thoughts are critical and in judgemental. Thoughts that come from the head, rather than the heart.
For every critical thought you have, replace it with an alternative thought until you can respond to yourself or other people and situations in more loving way.
When you are angry at someone it’s you that feels the anger in your body, not them. When you are frustrated and stressed it’s you that suffers the symptoms of stress. If there is hatred, this too is experienced physically by YOU, no one else suffers as a result of your thinking, only YOU.
Ask yourself ‘does this thought give me peace or does it give me stress?’
Be aware of the thoughts, always reach for a higher feeling thought to be sure YOU have a great day every day.
Use your thoughts to work for you, not against you and notice what changes when you use the power of your thoughts.
You might like to read though this excerpt from my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE, to identify where your thinking may be going into the negative:
Read through and record how many of the automatic negative thoughts you identify with. In doing so you will become aware of how many of your thoughts are automatic negative thoughts and how these might be limiting the very think you want to achieve.
|Automatic Negative Thought||Meaning|
|Mind reading||Assume that you know what people are thinking|
|Fortune telling||Predicting the future in a negative way|
|Judging||View yourself/others/events in terms of good/bad|
|Labelling||Giving global negative meanings about yourself and others|
|Ignoring the positives||Positive things aren’t recognised or seem trivial|
|Blowing things out of scale||Believe that what will happen will be unbearable|
|Personalising||Assume self blame for negative events|
|Over generalising||See a global pattern of negatives based on a single event|
|‘Should’s’||Seeing people and events as to how you think they ‘should’ be|
|Negative filtering||Focus on the negative, ignoring the positive|
|Focusing on regrets||Focus on the idea that you should have done better in the past|
|Emotional reasoning||Allowing your feelings to guide your perception of reality|
|‘What if’ thinking||Thinking about all the things that could go wrong|
|All or nothing thinking||Black and white thinking/ only good or bad- no in between|
|Blaming||Focusing on others as a source of your negative feelings|
|Unfair comparisons||Focus on others who you perceive are doing better than you|
|Inability to disconfirm||Reject any evidence that might contradict your negative thoughts|
It’s time to change your thinking….
No one ‘thinks you’ that is the one thing that you do have control over.
Use the following twelve steps to bring your thoughts back into balance every time you recognise yourself going into automatic negative thinking about love and relationships. Copy out these statements and carry with you until the questioning becomes part of your natural thought process to bring yourself back each time you go into a story.
|1||Am I confusing thought with fact?|
|2||Am I predicting the future negatively?|
|3||Am I jumping to conclusions?|
|4||Am I assuming I can do nothing to change my situation?|
|5||Am I overestimating the chance of disaster?|
|6||Am I thinking in all or nothing terms?|
|7||Am I only paying attention to the negative side of things?|
|8||Am I telling myself I’m not lovable because of things that have happened in my past?|
|9||Am I focusing on my weaknesses and forgetting my strengths?|
|10||What are the advantages and disadvantages of thinking this way?|
|11||Do my negative thoughts help or hinder me?|
|12||If I bring balance to my thinking, what would love do here?|
Our thoughts can create many negative experiences, or many positive experiences; it’s all down to the meaning and the beliefs and perceptions we place on things.
If you need some help in leaving the past behind you, moving beyond limited thinking, working through anger, grief and despair or simply want to manage your emotions take a look at my support programmes and packages.
From my heart to yours with love,