26 Jun

Love is on the Other Side of Fear

Many say hate is the opposite of love though it is in fact FEAR!

What are you afraid of?

” Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast”  Lewis Carroll ~ Alice in Wonderland 

  • How often do you find yourself thinking like Alice? 

At some point in our lives we all, unwittingly sabotage ourselves through fear based thinking.

We dash our future hopes based on past experiences without any real evidence that what we fear will repeat itself.

Do you really want to stay at The Mad Hatter’s tea party or are you ready to live your life in the absence of fear?

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Which of these fears are true for you?

  • Fear of not being good enough
  • Fear of not being loved
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of separation or loss of relationship
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of ill health
  • Fear of being controlled by another
  • Fear of success

What has been the price you have paid or are paying now based on fear of the past repeating itself?

Be aware that some fear based core beliefs come from our conditioning whilst growing up.

There is no blame here on our caregivers, we were very young when we formed our core beliefs and at the time, these beliefs seemed to be appropriate for us

Core beliefs may be formed based on the following conditions:

  • Fear associated with rejection/not being lovable, worthy or approved of
  • Fear associated with not meeting expectations, being good enough, adequate, recognised
  • Fear associated with criticism, judgement, being made wrong, being told off, being compared
  • Fear associated with people giving you attention, unwanted attention, smothering, feeling singled out, harassed, embarrassed

There is no evidence at all except the story in your mind, that the negative aspects of your past will repeat themselves.

It’s a story that you may have been playing for way too long and when you play that story over and over your body hears that story and will respond with the fear, sadness, despair and the limitations that you place on your future.

The future is not limited, but your thinking may be…

It’s time to change the story!

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If at this point you want to explore your limiting beliefs that may have created fear based thinking you can download for free Chapter 3 ‘Belief’s of my book Find YOU, Find LOVE 

When you are able to review your past as a learning experience taking with you the knowledge and wisdom gained from challenges, setbacks, wrong choices and perceived mistakes, it’s possible to make your past work for you to your best advantage.

Your past will no longer keep you in fear, terrified, doubtful, limited, trapped or anxious about the future. You simply transform your beliefs about fear and begin to take risks based on what you know for sure, not like Alice based on the imaginings of a creative mind!

Being aware of your responses to real and imagined situations is part of the journey towards transformation.

A fear only has to be acknowledged to be transformed!

The primary cause of our unhappiness is never the situation but the thought about it –Eckhart Tolle

Stepping into the space of love in the absence of fear and trusting that you can and will overcome your your limiting beliefs is the first step to the road to recovery.

When we get into our heart’s and out of our head’s fear dissolves.  We begin to feel rather than think!

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There are so many ways to create love in your life…

  • Self love
  • Self compassion
  • Simply ‘being’ in the absence of doing
  • Heart focused meditation
  • Love of another
  • Love of family
  • Love of a pet
  • Love of your work/vocation
  • Love of nature/gardening
  • Love of knowledge
  • Love of music
  • Love of people
  • Love of a faith/religion
  • Love of a hobby
  • Love of exercise
  • Love of reading/writing/journaling
  • Love of stillness/meditation
  • Love of life

What other things fill your heart with love and your life with joy?

My best advice is do the things you love and do the things you fear you never know you might just fly!

I love writing about love!….

If you would like to read more about how to get to the heart of your love and relationship problems my book Find YOU, Find LOVE will lead the way.

I also offer in person support in Sutton, Surrey UK and over Skype internationally

Find Out More ~ work with me!

Thanks so much for reading and making time for you!

From my heart to yours with love x


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09 May

Word Power

Words can harm and words can heal.  In fact words can and do influence our lives.

What we believe to be true because of something someone said may actually be stopping us moving forwards.

Other peoples words become our own internal dialogue that we confuse for our own.

That negative inner voice may criticise you, judge you, compare you and tell you you’re not good enough, worthy enough, capable enough or strong enough.  Worse than that, it may even call you names or swear at you.

Your voice made up of all the things you’ve ever heard is with you morning, noon and night, it can turn on the charm or pull the rug out from under your feet until you have a word with it and rein it in!

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Here are some words that I would like to ban that others frequently tell us that may have a negative connotation.

You can’t…

You don’t…

You should/shouldn’t…

You must/mustn’t…

You won’t…

You’ll never…

You ought to…

You need to…

You might like to copy out these statements and finish the sentences with the things that you have been told about yourself or what you want to achieve by ‘well meaning’ others.

Once completed rip it up into little pieces, stamp on it, burn it or make a paper air plane and send it off as far away from you as possible.

Change the limiting words you once heard into powerful, motivating and empowering statements instead!


I invite you to create powerful statements of your own finishing off the following statements:

I can…

I choose to…

I am…

I have…

I will…

I look forward to…

I love…

I create…

I know…

I enjoy…

I am a winner because…


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Take back your power! 

You are a winner!  

You can do anything you sent your mind to! 

Once you start to listen to your voice of encouragement you have the potential to transform your life.

You will be looking through new eyes, filtering for opportunity with a sense of hope and optimism of the future.

You will move to a place where anything is possible .

We can never quantify everything, sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith, find our wings and fly.

Allow the essence of who you are to flow through in your communications, listen to the internal voice of recognition, praise, support, acceptance, it’s there to guide you towards happiness.

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”Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another”Napoleon Hill

Want to know more about how to make your internal dialogue work for you using Hypnosis, Emotional Freedom Technique and NLP?  Go to www.bepositive.me.uk and read about how others have changed their lives through the power of words!