18 Dec

Staying Sane at Christmas

Christmas for many can be a happy occasion but for others it’s a stressful time of year.

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The classic saying ‘let bygones be bygones’ is often easier said than done.

If your thoughts are on all the things that could go wrong over the festive season guaranteed having the expectation will bring more of the same.

The thing is – you don’t have to do what you’ve always done, you don’t have to think how you’re always thought and you don’t have to act and behave in ways which aren’t helpful to you or anyone else.

It’s natural that we may want to protect ourselves from criticism, the judgement of others, expected arguments and the continuation of a family feud but in reality it can be so different.

Just one small change needs to be made and that change begins with you.

Instead of thinking about what you don’t want, focus on the most positive outcome possible then hold the vision and trust the process that this too will come to pass.

The Spotlight Process will help you to stay sane at Christmas enormously.

You might like to copy out and carry around these questions until they become familiar in your thought pattern.  Instead of responding in the old way, begin afresh by exploring the meaning and beliefs you are placing on an event, experience or in relation to the person you are in conflict with.

1. Where is my thinking right now? (Past, Present or Future?)

2. What proportion of my thinking is negative?

3. How does it affect me when I focus on the negative?

4. Where is the evidence that what I think will happen will happen?

5. What do I want instead of thinking or feeling this way?

6. Coming from my heart instead of my head what would love do here?

Ready to know more about The Spotlight Process and how embracing and applying this process in your life not just at Christmas will change your reality, simply follow this link which will take you to my first book ‘Find YOU, Find LOVE: Get to the heart of love and relationships using EFT.

Here’s to staying sane at Christmas,

From my heart to yours with love,

x Wendy

27 Jun

Learning about Love

In recent weeks we’ve covered much on the topic of limiting beliefs connected to love and relationships.

you can backtrack on the posts if you want to understand more about your own beliefs and how they may at times block you from having the kind of love and relationships you desire.

Love and relationship beliefs ~

Thought power ~

How our beliefs influence the way we feel and what we choose to do ~

Limiting beliefs and lifetime issues ~

Discovering your limiting beliefs ~

At some point in your life, you would have learnt specific beliefs as they were passed down to you by family members or caregivers, or you would have formed your own love and relationship beliefs based on your own perceptions and experiences growing up and throughout your life. All fears come from the ‘little you’, the ‘inner child’ as it’s sometimes referred to.

Be sure to nurture and love the child inside you, she still exists

As children, we are like sponges soaking up information through all our senses, believing everything we are told by our parents and caregivers. We place meanings as we interpret events and experiences and everything we learn is stored in the subconscious mind. We form beliefs about the world around us and about other people, including love and relationships.

Bruce Lipton, cell biologist explains the concept of this in his book Spontaneous Evolution: Our Positive Future and a Way to Get There from Here. I have paraphrased his account which details how the subconscious mind downloads information from the environment.

Before the age of six, while we are in what’s called a ‘hypnagogic’ state literally hypnotised by all the information coming at us. Some of the beliefs, perceptions and inferences we form are untrue, our analytical self conscious mind doesn’t fully exist and does not have the filters or discriminations that we develop after the age of six. We form beliefs based on what we ‘assume’ rather than what is fact. This often causes us problems later on in life, especially in the love and relationship area of our lives.

As adults, we hold onto those childhood beliefs, often without questioning where they came from, if they are/were true and if it is appropriate for us to hold onto them now. It’s the beliefs we form about love and relationships at that age, which can become a patterns of behaviour that we default to for the rest of our lives. Our subconscious beliefs keep running until we explore what we believe and how that is showing up in our lives.

Our pre set expectations about love and relationships are based on beliefs, perceptions, judgements and also our need for love, approval and acceptance from others. We often hand over the responsibility of being loved to another person (acting as a child would) and that in itself can put huge pressure on relationships.

Not only do we lose a sense of our identity, we also give up on taking responsibility for ourselves to fulfil our own needs. It often becomes an obsession to get our needs met by others and when they are not met, the issue can feel as crucial as life or death!

As children growing up, it is natural for us to look towards our caregivers and parents to cater to our every whim, to seek for and be rewarded with love, approval, acceptance and nurturing, though as adults it becomes our personal responsibility to give those things to ourselves, It’s no longer appropriate to look outside of ourselves for these things or to demand them in a relationship.

It is no longer appropriate as an adult to act from the ‘little me’ (your younger self/inner child) where you may be coming across as a needy baby or demanding child. In fact it complicates matters if we are constantly clingy, needy and wanting to be ‘filled up’ with love, approval, acceptance or attention from another.

If you’d like to understand more about yourself, your relationships and how your past has influenced you up to now check out my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE

When you’re ready to fully invest in yourself I have a range of support programmes you might like to consider.

I welcome the opportunity to connect with you and your wonderful inner child.

When we truly grow up and take full responsibility to heal old wounds and take care of our own needs, our lives can change dramatically. We have the capacity to totally transform them. Life becomes all that we imagined and more.

From my heart to yours with love,

x Wendy

This blog posts concludes the series related to limiting beliefs, I hope you have enjoyed it.

As a thank you for following you might like to listen to these 2 free MP3’s audios Standing in the Spotlight of Love and 21 Steps to LOVE …enjoy

 

13 Jun

Love and Relationship Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are something we have all experienced at one time or another.

Sometimes our beliefs work for us but often times when it comes to love and relationships our past experiences are what limit us when it comes to love.

In recent weeks we’ve discussed:

Thought power ~

How our beliefs influence the way we feel and what we choose to do ~

Limiting beliefs and lifetime issues ~

Discovering your limiting beliefs ~

This week’s blog will give you an opportunity to reflect specifically on your love and relationship beliefs.

You might like to record the answers in a journal as you go along.

  • What limiting negative beliefs do you have about love?
  • What limiting negative beliefs do you have about relationships?
  • What limiting beliefs do you have about yourself? (i.e. I’m not good enough)
  • What love and relationship beliefs are influencing your life negatively right now?
  • Where do these beliefs come from?
  • How did you come to believe what you do?
  • Are these beliefs your own or ones that were passed down to you?
  • What does having those beliefs mean to you/say about you?
  • What triggers these beliefs?
  • What does this belief accomplish?
  • Are the beliefs appropriate for you today, or ones that you picked up years ago and forgot to update?
  • What are the beliefs you hold about yourself in terms of love and relationships?
  • What is the negative impact of having these beliefs?
  • Is there any benefit or reason for keeping these beliefs?
  • What alternative beliefs could you choose?
  • If you changed those beliefs, what would you be able to do that you can’t do now?
  • What happens when you change those limiting beliefs?
  • What will you gain from letting go of these limiting beliefs?
  • What positive and empowering beliefs would you like to have about yourself, love and relationships instead of the above?

Slave to love

Understanding beliefs and past conditioning

At this point in your life you may have many different beliefs about love and relationships running.  When I say running, I mean running like movies running through your mind or running like taped conversations playing over in your head or an endless series of thoughts, feelings and emotions moving through you.

When you think of the love and relationship movies you have been playing in your mind can they be compared a romance with a happy ending or is yours more of a heartbreak hotel scenario?

These movies often represent a constant flow of negatives (the voice of our inner critic/voice of doom, like a parasite that eats away at us from the inside and a voice we start to believe in and feelings that we think are real). We replay over and over the same movies and the same story, until story becomes engrained.  That movie or inner story then becomes a default behaviour that we respond to when presented with a situation that is like one we have experienced before and triggers off what we believe to be true.  Most of what we react to has very little to do with a new experience and everything to do with past experiences (old movies)

Here are some general beliefs about love and relationships that you might be familiar with and may well form part of your own story or movie.  Which statements do you identify with?

  • ‘’Men/women are all the same’’
  • ‘’Men/woman can’t be trusted’’
  • ‘’Men/women are selfish and only think about themselves’’
  • ‘’Men/women will only let you down’’
  • ‘’You’re better off on your own’’
  • ‘’Love hurts’’
  • ‘’Nothing lasts forever’’
  • ‘’Relationships are a waste of time’’
  • ‘’Nothing good ever happens to me’’

What additional statements do you find yourself repeating time and time again based on your experiences (movies?)

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it – Rumi

Next time we talk about what’s blocking you from love.  If you can’t wait to learn more about love & relationships order your copy of Find YOU, Find LOVE right here 

09 May

Turn up your love dial and get in the zone of love

It’s true, everybody’s looking for love. Since we were mere babies, to be loved is a natural human need from our earliest years. As adults, we no longer have to depend on others to love us; we can meet our own needs fairly and squarely.

Think about a dial with -10 being the lowest love score, 0 being neutral and +10 being at its highest rate of love

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• How high is your love dial right now?

• If your dial is anything less than a + 10 what do you need to start doing, stop doing or do differently to get it to a +10?

• How will your life change when you are thinking and acting from a +10?

• What three things do you love about yourself? (keep adding to that list so that you have a growing list of things to love and appreciate about yourself)

• What memories do you have of giving and receiving love?

• Remember how giving and receiving love felt, what you saw, heard and experienced.  Turn up those feelings….

• How can you be more loving towards yourself today and every day?

• How will you benefit when you accept, allow and welcome more love into your life?

• How will your day change when you filter for and look for all the loving experiences you can find?

• Think of all the possibilities that being more open to love could bring…

• How will your life change if you said yes to love for now and for always?

Make love your mission…

Love comes in many forms – how do you experience love?

Have you ever put love outside of yourself as if it’s a thing that can fill up a void, a hole, a need? I know I have, that is until I learnt that love is something that we can generate within ourselves. Each of us has inside of ourselves, everything we could ever need and more.  We are the ones who can turn up our love dials.

There are so many ways to experience love. One way of experiencing love is to be in the moment. In love with loving where you’re at, able to enjoy the feeling of love flowing through you with ease, neither being caught up with thinking about the past, or worrying about the future, simply accepting the present moment just as it is.

There are so many ways to love ~ what resonates with you?

• Self love
• Love of another
• Love of family
• Love of a pet
• Love of your work/vocation
• Love of nature/gardening
• Love of knowledge
• Love of music
• Love of people
• Love of a faith/religion
• Love of a hobby
• Love of exercise
• Love of reading/writing/journaling
• Love of stillness/meditation

What other ways can you think of that create the ‘flow’ of love in you (flow is the feeling of wholeness, connection, contentment, just being in love with life and all that is)

Love doesn’t make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worth while – Franklin P Jones

Find YOU, Find LOVE the resource guide to getting to the heart of your love and relationship problems.

15 Feb

Emotional Freedom Technique ~ EFT for Positive Change

Over the next few weeks I take great pleasure in sharing with you the Emotional Freedom Technique, otherwise known as EFT or Tapping.

I will be sharing specifically EFT for love and relationship problems taken from my book Find YOU, Find LOVE: Get to the heart of love and relationships using EFT

Find YOU Find LOVE

In last week’s blogWho Else Wants Emotional Freedom I offered an overview of EFT though this week I will cover the history of EFT, How to use and apply it, endorsements for EFT as well as various components of EFT.

I will break it all down step by step for you, for easy reading safe in the knowledge by using this technique it will seriously change your life for the better!


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The History of Gary Craig ‘The Main Man’

Gary Craig, founder of The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is a very wise man.  Gary suggests with EFT to ‘’try it on everything’’   and I couldn’t agree more.  In my mind, EFT is the perfect remedy to be included in everyone’s ‘medicine cupboard’ and the good news is that it has no nasty side effects!

Gary created EFT, The Emotional Freedom Technique as an offshoot from Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT).  Gary simplified the process of TFT and created EFT.  Gary understood that ‘’the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s energy system’’ and he’s used it with thousands of people to improve their physical and emotional health.  What a legacy to leave behind, to be able to change lives for the better, using this simple technique.

I came across the emotional freedom technique many years ago when I worked for a health care provider.  Several of the therapists who were part of our network of affiliates, used EFT with their clients which had some very beneficial effects.

I became interested in this type of energy work, already being a qualified Reiki practitioner the concept appealed to me.  As I gleaned more information about this powerful technique, I wanted to learn this not only for myself but also to share with my own clients.

I have personally used EFT to work through painful childhood memories, personal limitations and beliefs and I share this technique with my clients and now you the reader to support you in working through your own challenges and setbacks.  EFT gives you the opportunity to transform and to be free from the ties that may have been binding you and keeping you stuck in the past.

What is EFT and how can I use it?

EFT is classed as an Energy Psychology.  Energy Psychology focuses on the connected relationship of energy, emotions, behaviours and health.  EFT works by shifting the brain’s electrochemistry and works by stimulating energy points on the surface of the skin.

EFT combines the principles of Chinese Medicine with modern psychology.  Our emotional and physical health depends upon the smooth flow of energy through our body’s energy meridians.  Emotions affect our energy systems and when we are tuned into a negative thought, emotion, situation or event our energy system disrupts and literally responds to the thought.

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Improving energy flow

By clearing and releasing emotional conflicts through EFT tapping, our energy system is stimulated and balances out any energy disruptions.  Our energy flow is improved, in turn our physical health and emotional wellbeing is also improved.

EFT works in a similar way to acupuncture though without the use of needles to stimulate energy flow.  EFT includes bringing awareness to emotional issues as well as physical ailments.

An acupuncturist would study more than three hundred meridian points and use a needle to stimulate energy flow. With EFT, we use our fingertips to tap gently on some of our energy meridian points/energy pathways to stimulate energy flow, transforming and releasing emotional and physical symptoms as we go.

EFT at your fingertips

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In next week’s blog I will share the EFT Tapping points with you.  We tap directly on the surface of the specific points with light and gentle tapping movements, some people may prefer to gently rub these spots if they are using EFT in a public space.  Tapping gently and stimulating these points moves the flow of energy through the entire meridian system.

Once EFT has been learnt (and it’s so easy to pick up) it can be used anywhere in any circumstance, it’s portable and very easy to master and can often reduce an emotional intensity in as little as five to ten minutes of tapping.  For some longer standing problems, several sessions and rounds of tapping may be required to reduce the emotional intensity.

There is great freedom in tapping and releasing your trapped or uneven energy flow, which has been blocked and holding you back from being open to love and loving relationships.  Persist with using EFT regularly and you will reap the benefits tenfold.

Your energy can be influenced positively or negatively by what you think about.  EFT will support you in dissolving and resolving the emotional charge connected to any memory, event or person. You can further help yourself by bringing your thinking into alignment and being aware of where your mind has been.

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EFT can be applied to a range of emotional problems or physical symptoms.  Once you are familiar with the technique, it will support you in not only releasing negative emotions, but will also allow you to tap into those inner resources you always had but just forgot about.

EFT can be used to clear past traumas, overwhelming emotions and can also be used to increase relaxation, happiness and joy.  EFT can also be in the moment as and when a shock may occur.

It can be used to transform fears, anxieties, past events, current challenges, upsets, disagreements, physical ailments, emotional problems, relationship problems, aiding  personal healing, as well as self development, confidence building and life transformation – phew – and that’s not all!

EFT has changed my life so much for the better and my hope is that it will change yours, in ways you never imagined possible. EFT has paved the way for me to the road of freedom and amazing opportunities and I share it here with you so that you can take your own journey to all that is possible.

I hope that after reading my posts you will use EFT in your everyday life.  EFT is a technique I wish everyone knows about.  It’s so effective on many different levels.  It can be used to manage day to day life, along with those unexpected things and it may also improve your physical health and emotional wellbeing, as well as deal with past or current challenges and setbacks.

It is my wish for you, that EFT transforms your life in the way it has transformed mine and the lives of the people I have shared this valuable resource with.

What the people at the top are saying about EFT

Many self help authors, gurus and teachers endorse EFT, the word is waking up to the positive changes EFT brings and is spreading.

Louise L Hay author of You Can Heal Your Life said ‘’ When I first heard about using tapping or EFT (Emotional freedom Technique), I thought it was delightful that something this simple and easy could really work’’.

Dr Wayne Dyer recently said ‘’put away your scepticism, this really works…I’ve had great results with tapping in my own life.’’

Jack Canfield, Co-creator of Chicken Soup for the Soul, calls it ‘’the most powerful new transformational technology to come along in years.’’

I had the privilege of training as an Advanced EFT and Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner with the wonderful Karl Dawson www.efttrainingcourses.net

Karl co-authors Matrix Reimprinting Using EFT with Sasha Allenby

I’ve had the great privilege to have also contributed to his latest book Transform Your Beliefs, Transform Your Life co-authored with Kate Marillat.  Both books are excellent reads if you wish to develop your EFT toolkit.

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Your mind and body react to a continuous flow of information coming in through your senses. Every thought you think affects your body (physiology) and emotions.  Likewise every physical action affects your thinking and your mood.   Thoughts can create and heighten stress, sadness, depression as well as intensify feelings of joy, happiness and love.

I wish to encourage you to be aware from this moment on how your mind-body connection works.  Being aware of this connection, will help you to manage the ways your mind and body influence each other.  Being aware of your thoughts for even just a few minutes each day is a start.

Checking in with yourself as often as possible and monitoring your thoughts will serve you well.  When you manage your thinking to that which is more positive, or you allow your body to experience positive things such as exercise, relaxation and good health, the mind-body connection improve tenfold.

Measuring energy flow using the SUD Scale

EFT uses a scoring system to measure the depth and intensity of a problem and this scale is called SUD (Subjective Unit of Distress)   it measures on a scale of 0 – 10.

0 equates to feeling neutral and 10 equates to feeling high emotional distress.  It’s helpful as you work through various problems to measure before and after tapping, the level of distress you begin and end with.

This scale was introduced in 1969 by Joseph Wolpe.

Using this scale helps you to identify how much the problem may be affecting your physical and emotional wellbeing.

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Resolve and dissolve your problems using EFT

By making a commitment to yourself to apply EFT to work through the things that may have been holding you back in life and love, you really step into your own power in resolving and dissolving past hurts and fears.

Choosing to take personal responsibility right here and now to commit to yourself and taking responsibility for the changes that you would like in your life, is one of the best investments you will ever make. It’s through regularly working on yourself that the biggest changes occur.

EFT can be applied to any area of your life and used to transform the complete range of all emotions.  EFT has the capacity to change your life for the better, clearing the past and creating a space for the new.

I advise using EFT as soon as possible, in your everyday life.  Whenever and how frequently you use EFT is a personal choice.  You can never tap too much, only too little.

I personally use EFT as it has a positive chain reaction and works not just on one main issue but all the little connecting issues that are related to a problem.  If you have any doubt at all about whether or not to tap on problem, tap and see what comes up and what changes as a result.

As you read through my blog posts and download your free chapter on beliefs you will become aware of your old patterns, outdated behavioural responses and how you may have been unintentionally getting in your own way or blocking your own success, sabotaging love relationships without being aware of what you were doing.

We all do it at some point in our lives, unwittingly sabotage ourselves, as the fear of the unknown is greater than the fear of what is.  That is all about to change once you’ve discovered and apply EFT in your life.

I look forward to sharing more on this theme in the coming weeks with you.

For general therapeutic support check out www.bepositive.me.uk

For love and relationship support go to www.wendyfry.com 

 

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08 Feb

Who Else Wants Emotional Freedom?

There’s a lot to be said about emotional intelligence and I’m sure you have read many self-help books on the subject of emotions and how they impact your life, though what I will be sharing over the next few weeks ahead is a technique called EFT to set you free from the emotions weighing you down.  I will be sharing specifically EFT for love and relationship problems taken from my book Find YOU, Find LOVE:Get to the heart of love and relationships using EFT

Find YOU Find LOVE

I will also be talking about EFT Lorraine Whyte from Blog Talk Radio on the 18th February on her show ‘Unlock Your Soul’ I will be sure to share the link to the show with you as soon as I have it. You might like to listen to a previous interview where we talk about self love.

EFT otherwise known as ‘Tapping’ or The Emotional Freedom Technique is becoming more and more and more popular as a way to de-stress, process and release hurtful emotions as well as clearing the way for new beginnings and boosting your confidence.

EFT goes way beyond just thinking and talking about your problems, it’s a practical technique housewives, school children, racing drivers, sports professionals, singers and actors are using to either clear negative feelings or indeed ramp up the positive ones.

Whatever your age, gender, ethnic origin or beliefs EFT belongs to everyone.  We all have unwanted emotions and together we can free ourselves from the things which weigh us down.

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In my book I share the following tools and techniques:

Chapter 1: Get to the Heart of Love and Relationships Using EFT

  • What is The Emotional Freedom Technique?
  • EFT Tapping Points and Process
  • Transform Your Thoughts and Feelings Using EFT
  • Positive EFT

The weekly blogs will outline some of the content to get you started using EFT and even if you are a seasoned practitioner or have been using EFT for some time I will be sharing how to utilise the technique for the area of love and relationships.

The Emotional Freedom Technique 

I really do feel that EFT deserves a drum roll of introduction, appreciation and acknowledgement, as using it may seriously improve your emotional well-being and in turn your relationships and that, wouldn’t you agree, is worth a drum roll or three?

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want to be free from unwanted negative emotions or who doesn’t want to improve their love and relationships or their ability to love and be loved.  There is great freedom and personal transformation that comes from using this technique and you will experience that for yourself if you follow the guidelines offered to you.

I’m hopeful that once you have learnt and applied EFT to the areas of your life you wish to work on, EFT will become as regular for you as brushing your teeth.  EFT can be compared to daily brushing to balance energy.  It can be used as ‘first aid’ and applied as and when needed in the moment.  It can also be used for long term healing and will certainly be less painful than a root canal.  When you are able to work on the root of a problem, smaller, related problems will no longer influence you to such a great effect.

EFT has the potential to change your beliefs and in turn transform your life.  You will find your life improving either in subtle ways or with dramatic effect depending on how often you apply the technique.  When you free yourself from past hurts and fears, clearing emotional baggage easily and quickly, you break old patterns and behaviours and open up for yourself a world full of love and opportunity.

EFT and the ripple effect

Many people find that using EFT on one problem, in fact resolves other problems at the same time.  As our energy shifts and changes and begins flowing freely, so our thoughts, feelings and emotions shift and change.  Life starts to look rosy again.

EFT has a ripple effect, just like casting a pebble into a still lake, the ripples of change spread out into all areas of your life.  Every ripple, every thought, every feeling, every word and every action you cast out will create and bring to you amazing life changes.

I use EFT every.  I recommend you, too, use EFT as part of your natural daily health plan to support you in balancing your emotional health and well-being.

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Take a moment to reflect and consider these questions carefully:

  • Do you want to be free from emotional ties to the past?
  • Ready to set yourself free from fear and worry?
  • Looking forward to letting go of emotional baggage weighting you down?
  • Want to feel more hopeful about the future?
  • More confident?
  • More loving?

Then join me in living your life with passion and purpose!

EFT will support you in achieving all these things and more.

Set your diary ahead to follow this blog (it goes live on Monday’s) and all will be revealed over the coming weeks.

Can’t wait to get started in getting to the heart of your love and relationship problems. You can download completely free Chapter 3 from my book ‘Love and Relationship Beliefs’ over at www.wendyfry.com  You will also find some other lovely goodies on the resources page to use at your leisure.

Serious about sorting out your love and relationship problems, take a peek at my services page here  It will be my pleasure to support you in Finding You and Finding LOVE.

01 Feb

Crazy Little Thing Called Love!

As we step into February the month for love and with Valentine’s Day fast approaching.  Many of you might be wondering….Can any body find me somebody to love?

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Oh, yes! All things love, Saint Valentine deserves a mention. You can read more about the historical aspects of Saint Valentine and the significance of 14th February being a special day here though as nearly everyone gets on the band wagon buying roses, champagne and chocolates for their nearest and dearest supermarkets, florists, fragrance houses and chocolatiers cash in on The Day of Love.

Always one to be a little bit different and stepping away from the norm, I say ‘let every day be a day for love’.

If you’re with me on that, shout out ‘I’m in’!…now even louder…’I’m in’!

On the subject of love, my argument here, simply because I love a good old debate, is why wait for others to validate you in the love department and have to wait a whole year for the privilege.

Don’t get me wrong, It’s always lovely to receive love tokens, knights in shining armour delivering the finest milk chocolate,  bed strewn with red rose petals and a luxury bubble bath with a chilled bottle of Moet on the side, but what if Saint Valentine is still on his white charger trying to find you it’s a case of Love Don’t Live Here Any More 

Option 2

Be your own Saint Valentine every day!

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Essential ingredients for daily love (repeat daily 365 days a year)

  • Wake up, stretch, yawn, have a little wriggle and say ‘today’s the day for love’

 

  • Get up, put your favourite music on, (these can be your favourite love tracks) or any kind of music that makes you want to groove and shake your booty (we can start a love train)

 

  • While showering, imagine you’re standing under a beautiful rainbow which not only cleanses away yesterdays residue, imagine the rainbow water is also showering you with love (singing in the shower optional, if you decide to dance too, please use hand rails) Here’s one of my faves to get you in the mood. Singing tracks like this to yourself might feel a bit odd though once you get used to you will find yourself singing all kinds of wonderful things.

 

  • After towelling dry, dress in your best, after all you’re spending the day with wonderful you.

 

  • Next…set your intention and affirm the day will bring you experiences to love and appreciate (even if those things are lessons, they will help you grow)

 

  • Think about how you love your insides and be sure to nurture your body with healthful foods which energise you and support your health and well-being

 

  • Choose how you spend your thinking time, turning your thoughts to love as often as possible (example)

 

 

  • At the end of your day do what makes you feel good whether it be a jog in the park, chilling with a good book, running your own sumptuous bubble bath and having the chocolates all to yourself or simply meditating, listening to music or if you really must show the world you can dance

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this newsletter and the dance tracks (you can take the girl out of the eighties but not the 80’s out of the girl)

Please feel free to let me know how you get on with the daily love…

And just for fun have a little boogie to ‘Crazy Little Thing Called Love’ 

PS…remember to download completely free 21 Steps to LOVE and Standing in the Spotlight of LOVE
It’s been my pleasure connecting with you as ever.

From my heart you yours, with love

Wendy x

Get your copy of Find YOU, Find LOVE here for UK customers and here, overseas, oh and please do leave a review, thank you

FYFL JACKET

 

www.bepositive.me.uk General Therapy

www.wendyfry.com  Love & Relationship Support

 

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23 Nov

How Do You Experience Love?

An open heart is an open mind – Dalai Lama

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How Do You Experience Love?

There are so many ways to experience love, it will be different for each and everyone reading this.

One way of experiencing love is to be ‘in the moment’. Fully alive and receptive with where you are in time and space. Using your senses to be in touch with the moment (seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting)

You are able to enjoy the feeling of love flowing through you with ease when you are fully present.

Neither being caught up with thinking about the past, or worrying about the future, simply accepting the present moment just as it is through heart centred awareness.

There are so many ways to connect in with your heart space and experience joy and love….

  • Self love/Self compassion
  • Simply ‘being’ in the absence of doing
  • Heart focused meditation
  • Love of another
  • Love of family
  • Love of a pet
  • Love of your work/vocation
  • Love of nature/gardening
  • Love of knowledge
  • Love of music
  • Love of people
  • Love of a hobby
  • Love of exercise
  • Love of reading/writing/journaling
  • Love of stillness/meditation
  • Love of life

 

How do you experience the flow of love in you?

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Flow is the feeling of wholeness, connection, contentment, just being in love with life and all that is regardless of external circumstances.

When you are in peak flow you are in your heart and there is no greater place to be.

Need some help in getting out of your head and into your heart?  I have a range of services and programmes to suit your needs www.bepositive.me.uk

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart Helen Keller

20 Jul

When Nothing is Certain ~ Everything is Possible!

What is it that you have been worrying about?

Who or what has been taking up your thought time?

How often does ‘not knowing’ the result of something and ‘uncertainty’ throw you off balance?

What outcome do you focus on when what you want to know about something which isn’t yet known?  

What percentage of your thoughts are positive?

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It’s natural for our minds to think and prepare us for the worst case scenario when we are faced with making choices.  It tries to protect us from danger and harm.

Our animalistic’ fight and flight’ mechanisms kick in and sometimes we may also experience the freeze response and we are trapped inside our own thinking, too frightened to move.

In fact, what we create in our minds isn’t actual reality, it’s a story that we make up about what we think will happen.

I bet half of the things you’ve worried about from birth to now haven’t even happened!

Fear disables.  It stops you from growing, advancing, progressing and achieving!

Don’t let your fear based thinking get in your way, your thoughts can be changed!

I personally now tell fear to ”go and do one!”   I’m too busy thinking about what else IS possible!

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real

OR

FEAR = Feeling Excited And Ready!

Which one are you?

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Fear and Excitement are often felt in the gut (solar Plexus).  Don’t confuse your fear with excitement, use the energy of excitement to motivate you into achieving positive outcomes for yourself.

I personally love writing happy ending stories and getting into the mindset of what is possible…

From this moment on , begin to pay attention to your thoughts…. 

Are you thinking ‘worse case nightmare’ or ‘best possible dream’ when your mind runs riot around an unknown outcome?

My best advice is to focus on what you want, not what you don’t want!

Notice how your energy, passion and zest for life, love, health and happiness improve simply by changing your thoughts.

Over a year ago I decided to write my first book

Find YOU, Find LOVE

FYFL JACKET

Back then nothing was certain!

I’d never written a book before, I didn’t know how to do it, I knew zero about publishing, marketing a book let alone know how to balance my time to write it.

I had to learn things I never knew. I had to work through some limiting beliefs about my book ‘being good enough’, I had to bring up old skeletons from my cupboard and work through them, I had to set boundaries, I had to learn a heap load of ‘stuff’ .  I had to stretch myself beyond what I thought was possible for me and I’m still stretching as we speak right now!

I focused on the positive outcome of what I wanted to achieve!

My goal  was and still is to get my book out to as many people as possible who need help with love and relationships and understanding the significant role they play in creating happy outcomes for themselves.

Part of my not knowing became clearer when I chunked down all that I had to do.  I used what seemed close to a million post it notes to form the structure and chapters of my book.

I asked for help and hired the right people to help me.  I surrounded myself with people who believed in me and also had to turn the ‘self belief’ notch right up as high as it would go.

chapter process

Every day for 6 months I got up earlier, I wrote every day, I laughed, I cried, I used EFT Tapping to get me past the blocks, fears, doubts and insecurities and came out the other side with a big grin on my face when I opened my fist copies of Find YOU, Find LOVE

You can watch me here at the Book Opening  so wish I’d done my hair! But hey ho, this is me, opening the books as soon as they arrived!

Today everything is certain!  

Find YOU, Find LOVE is featured in Today’s Daily Express 20th July 2015

‘ Change Your Life While Relaxing on a Sunbed’

A summer special written and shared by the lovely Monica Cafferky with much gratitude.

Dail Express feature 20th July 2015

This achievement was made by taking my own advice…

Take action every day in the direction of your dreams ~

When nothing is certain, everything is possible!

I’m no different to you.  I’ve had my doubts, fears, insecurities and experiences from the past that I don’t wish to repeat.  I simply used my fears as stepping stones to achieve the things that are important to me.

What action, thought or deed can you make today that even though nothing is certain, everything is possible? 

If you’d like to work with me to explore what else is possible for you please do make contact

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From my heart to yours, with love

x Wendy

30 Dec

21 Steps to Love Free Audio Recording

21 steps to love free audio recording http://youtu.be/Rt8kx_jayzM

I’d like to take you now through a journey of time and space, you set the time frame and I will lead the way. You could take yourself forward in time to one year from this date, three years, five  years, ten years whatever time frame jumps out for you.  You may like to experiment with different time frames and use the audio several times to reveal different sources of information.

The audio along with other free resources are available on www.wendyfry.com go to the section that says book/resources and find all your lovely freebies there.

For a personalised Future Life progression session I am also available to work with you privately for bespoke guided love and relationship sessions in person or over Skype check out for details about FLP (Future Life Progression) and the various ways it can be used here www.bepositive.me.uk

Guiding you to listen to your inner self to find the answers to all of the questions you will ever need

The Exercise that you will be guided through:

Find a quiet place to relax, sit back and take three nice deep and easy breaths.

Imagine that you are in your favourite place the place where you truly feel relaxed.

You are enjoying the experience of being comfortable, content and deeply relaxed…

Be aware of your breathing becoming slower and more and more relaxed.

Think about seeing, sensing or imagining that you are travelling forwards in time; you choose the mode of transport and simply sit back and enjoy the ride.

You are willing to go forward to a new time and space in the future and by doing so; your mind will expand and be open to receiving information through your senses, alerting you to all that is possible.

You may also become aware of some changes that you need to make in the here and now, to get you to where you want to be in the future.

Allow your mind to take you where it will.

  • Imagine that you have moved beyond your current circumstances forward to your designated time frame (one, three, five or ten years ahead)
  • Experience that just for a moment or two
  • What have you moved away from?
  • What have you moved towards?
  • What have you let go off?
  • What did you stop doing?
  • What did you start doing?
  • What are you doing differently now?
  • How do you experience your life and love relationships in the future compared to the ones that you are living now?
  • What changes have you made between then and now in your life and love relationships that have been positive and beneficial to you?
  • Notice your thoughts, how have they changed, what did you have to do to think differently about love and relationships?
  • Notice your feelings now that you have moved on from the past.
  • What do you hear going on around you or inside your own head? (This could be your own voice or the voice of others)
  • Be aware of any smells or tastes associated with this time frame
  • What advice does the ‘future you’ have to share with you?
  • Ask the future you the top three burning questions that you would like information about and find a way of receiving that information for your highest good
  • If you took that advice right now and applied it to your life, how would that benefit you?
  • If you didn’t take that advice what difficulties might remain and how would that limit you?
  • Is there anything else that you wish to find out about your future, you may be interested in other life areas outside of love and relationships and the same process can be applied?
  • If you have other questions to ask your future self, ask them now, the answers may come through pictures, words or feelings.
  • Tune in to the future you carefully, be patient and wait for your answer to come in any way that seems right for you.
  • Phrase your questions clearly and in a positive way.
  • You may also wish to form questions beginning with who, when, where, why or what before you question your future self
  • If this exercise seems a little difficult for you in any way, just pretend that you are able to work through it. Pretend that you are thinking about, seeing, sensing or imagining yourself in the future and it will come.
  • What the mind believes it can achieve and ‘acting as if’ will expand your thinking, your horizons and your measure of love
  • Thank your future self for the guidance, knowledge, love and wisdom they share with you, knowing that you can re-connect with them again at any time you wish to
  • Bring back with you to your current awareness in this current time and space, the insights and information you have learned from your future self.
  • If there were things that were less than you hoped for, ask yourself ‘How can I change this for myself?
  • What actions do I need to take in order to change this?
  • What do I need to stop doing, do differently, or start doing?’

Sometimes, it’s about taking action towards what we want in order to bring the changes to us more quickly and effectively.  Any information you receive will be for your highest good and will be a guiding light in shaping your future as that all singing, all dancing extravaganza and making your future the best it can be.

Limits exist only in the mind…are you ready to step ever forwards into your future?

This exercise has been adapted with kind permission of Anne Jirsch with excerpts from her Future Life Progression TrainingsAnne is author of The Future Is Yours