25 Sep

Courage of Your Convictions

You and I both took our first steps with courage.

It never entered our minds to give up, we simply got back up and put one foot in front of the other and another and then another and there you are walking, talking, singing and dancing, all things you’ve had to learn at some point and whether you know it or not, that took courage.

Courage is all about taking action and having the determination to carry out one’s goals  and to do or say what you think is right regardless of another’s opinion.  Courage is about having confidence in yourself (or acting ‘as if’) until you become fearless.

Success and courage go hand in hand.  Limits I have to tell you only exist in your mind.

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Reflecting back, what have you already achieved despite believing it wasn’t possible?

What challenges have you overcome?

How did you achieve what you’ve already learnt? 

In what situations do you become fearful?

What’s beneath the fear? (is it fear of other people’s judgement, fear of failing, fear of not being good enough etc?) 

Acknowledging fears are nothing more than thoughts which create a physical response what small action can you take today to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone?

What can you hold yourself accountable for tomorrow, the next day and the day after that to conquer your fears and take those all important steps in the direction of your dreams? 

Half of what we fear never happens!  We make up stories in our minds to prepare us for the ‘worse case scenario’.  I personally prefer to take my mind to ‘what’s the best that can happen here’ and add to the movie how good it feels to achieve my goal, what I will see and hear and then I keep focusing on the results I want.  Truth is you can’t think a negative and a positive thought at the same time, try it and see.

Our thoughts can limit us until we acknowledge we are afraid.  Try shifting focus and know the end goal is much more compelling than the feeling of staying stuck where we are.   Make friends with Focus and Intention.  Spend time each day thinking about what you want and how wonderful it will be for your goals to come to fruition.  Heck, even buy the bottle of champagne in preparation of the celebration.

If you need some extra help in feeling the fear and doing it anyway.  You’ll enjoy reading ‘The Magician’s Way’  by William Whitecloud.  Although this book talks a lot about playing golf,  you don’t need to be a gold player to improve your swing and how you approach life.  Simply focusing on the target and acting as if will improve all life areas.

I want you to know you matter!  Take just four and a half minutes to watch this video Find Your Courage, you’ll be glad you did.

And just for the record, i’d been feeling nervous and uncomfortable about a forthcoming opportunity on Tuesday where to begin with I felt more than a little out of my depth but I had a word with myself and turned round my fears.  I’ve spent some time preparing and learning things I have previously put off and now my focus is on excitement and wondering what the best outcome will be.  Working through my own limitations and overcoming the obstacles and limiting beliefs in my mind, well i’m set for a great day and you know what, whatever the outcome it will be a perfect experience for me.

Courage is beginning with the first step and taking the next and the next and the next.  What’s the best that can happen?

” Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition they somehow know what you truly want to become” Steve Jobs

30 May

Our beliefs influence the way we feel and what we choose to do

A limiting belief is a thought, or series of thoughts, that stop us from moving forwards in life. Limiting beliefs could be based on past personal experiences or through witnessing the experiences of others.

When we truly grow up

Limiting beliefs also shape the form of our thought patterns, including irrational thinking. We all, at some point, experience limiting beliefs. Until we examine what it is we believe and change any limiting beliefs to a more empowering belief, we are often stuck in the prison of our own thinking.

This is the 3rd in the series of limiting beliefs, you can check out the previous blog posts Part 1 here and Part 2 here

Beliefs have the potential to be changed by cultivating awareness; we can choose what it is we want to believe. Challenging a limiting belief with awareness, effective questioning and using The Spotlight Process and EFT, may seriously improve a person’s sense of self worth, reduce fear, improve confidence, improve communication (internal and external dialogues) and open up all sorts of new and exciting possibilities.

What are your limiting beliefs?

Practical Exercise (10 minutes)

Measuring Limiting Beliefs using The VoC Scale (Validity of Cognition)

To measure the how true a limiting belief may be for you there is a scale called The Validity of Cognition (VoC) Scale which is an individualised measure of beliefs, developed by Francine Shapiro.

Use the VOCSscale to check the percentage of your current self limiting beliefs rating them from a 0 when you have no belief at all and 100 when the belief feels completely true for you.

Read through the list below using the Voc Scale to identify which limiting beliefs are true for you. Fill in the blanks where appropriate and add your own limiting beliefs that have been holding you back from love.

• Fear of not being good enough
• Fear of not being loved
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of separation or loss of relationship
• Fear of failure
• Fear of being controlled by another
• Fear of success
• I don’t deserve…..
• I am not worthy of…..
• I’m not lovable
• I’m too……..
• I’m not…..
• I won’t be able to…..
• It’s impossible
• I can’t…..
• Something bad will happen if…..
• What if it doesn’t work out?
• What if I get hurt?
• What if my partner isn’t faithful?
• What if I lose…..?

You may be wondering right now how you can transform your limiting beliefs so here goes:

Part of the process of changing limiting beliefs is cultivating awareness, so that we can distinguish the difference between:

• What we’d like to believe
• What we think we should believe
• What we truly believe.

It is often our limited and negative thinking that holds us back from the things that we seek. Beliefs are often so unconscious that we seldom question them.

With effective self questioning, taking into account:

• When the belief was formed
• Whose belief it is
• If that belief limits us or allows us to grow
• If the beliefs we hold are still appropriate for us

Each of us has a choice and by choosing empowering beliefs about love and relationships, much can be changed in our lives for the better.

In order to change a limiting belief we need to change the internal picture and representation that we have of ourselves, of others and about the world around us, so that over time, our creative subconscious mind recognises new pictures and beliefs as a new reality and filters from a different perspective, instead of looking through dirty windows at the same dirt, we notice things we never saw before or experienced before.

If a limiting belief is based on a lie or is a belief formed by someone else’s opinion, then it is time to change the belief. Challenging a limiting belief and working out where it comes from will provide enormous benefits.

Changing our beliefs offers a renewed sense of freedom and there is a willingness to take new risks once we decide to look at the world through new windows.

Ready to uncover your limiting beliefs and move beyond them check out my full range of services here It will be my pleasure to work with you.

16 May

Discover Your Limiting Beliefs

What is a limiting belief?

A limiting belief is a mental block stored in your mind which limits your ability to achieve any goals you may set for yourself. A limiting belief acts as a barrier stopping you from achieving the success you desire and deserve, not only connected with love and relationships but in fact, with many other aspects of your life.

You will unconsciously organise your actions and behaviour depending on your beliefs, your beliefs are guiding principles and maps of how you make sense of the world. Some of your beliefs are not true and are simply thoughts that lead to your learnt behaviour and responses to people and events.

A limiting belief is a repetitive, habitual thought that you may think over and over and over again and it is my intention to guide you to discover what your negative beliefs and blocks to love and relationships might be.

Until you question your limiting beliefs, you may think that they are true and for this reason often your beliefs may come true, your limiting beliefs may act as self fulfilling prophecies even if the thought is undesirable.

Your limiting beliefs create your perception, through self talk and the internal dialogue that you run inside your head. You can talk yourself into doing or not doing something and what you believe influences your behaviour and performance.

You may find yourself staying in the safety of your comfort zone if a belief creates F E A R (False Evidence Appearing Real).

Look carefully and you will see that a limiting belief is nothing more than a thought that you believe to be true. The word ‘beLIEf’ itself includes the word LIE and until we explore our beliefs, perceptions and judgments, we will not be aware of what lies we have been telling ourselves about love and relationships that are no longer helpful to us.

The truth is we get so comfortable with our beliefs

As with judgements, limiting beliefs are nothing but patterns of thoughts. Just because your experiences in the past may have been true, it does not necessarily follow that they will continue to be true. You may find yourself building up walls of protection, trying to keep yourself safe from disappointment and heartache when in fact, it is these very walls that confine you and may stop you from having amazing relationships with yourself and others.

The conversations that you have inside your own mind may build on existing limiting beliefs, as you find yourself replaying the limiting beliefs over and over. Limiting beliefs can affect every part of your life, your work, your well being, your relationships and it is the beliefs we form about love in our early years, which impacts our lives in later years.

The limiting beliefs you have formed may be based on old fears, old hurts or old stories that have no relevance in the present moment. You may be blocked within certain areas of your life because of the beliefs that you are running, these beliefs do not just influence how positive or negative a relationship will be, our limiting beliefs impact all areas of our lives. Those beliefs will collapse the moment that you stop feeding the limiting belief and you can achieve this through the use of EFT and The Spotlight Process.

These processes will be shared in my blogs across the coming weeks ahead.

Limits exist only in your mind!

If waiting to learn more about your limiting beliefs seems like torture you can read more about how to change them here

31 Mar

Stop Playing the Fool

Stop Playing the Fool. 

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  • How often do you find yourself laughing things off when deep down you’re hurting?
  • What makes you wear a mask of who you think you should be rather than being all of who you are?
  • When do you find yourself not putting you first in relationships only to find the relationship fails anyway, when you’ve given all you’ve got and then some? 

April Fool’s day comes but once a year, though how often are you playing the fool and not really living your life on your terms? 

Help is at hand.

If you’re:

  • Fed up with waiting for more love, fun and happiness in your life…
  • Ready to let go of the past and focus on having a positive and loving relationship that fulfils you…
  • All set to be accepted for who you are and totally and free to be yourself…
  • Eager to make the rest of your life, the best of your life…

I hate to say it.  The only thing stopping you is you!

I stopped playing the fool a long time ago and have to say it’s liberating.  Gone is the mask of fear, the long nose of lying to please others, the need for approval or acceptance.  Gone is the me I thought I had to be, it’s the best thing i’ve ever done and I want to share with you the tools and transformation techniques which stopped me playing the fool.

On your marks, get set, go! Ready to discover all you can be….

Using an extensive tool kit, I can not only show you how to be the best that you can be, I will guide you to get out of your own way so that you can experience the love that you truly deserve.  Playing the fool and wallowing in the self-sabotage that goes with it will be history when you say yes to you!

By examining the events, perceptions and beliefs you have formed about yourself,  love and relationships you will gain the awareness that the past need not influence the future.

I will share with you the transformational tools and techniques to give you freedom from your past including the emotional baggage, self doubt and fear. You will move from helplessness to happiness and become the person who you’ve always have been and just forgot about.

Offering you the strategies for positive and lasting change guiding you back home to you, the place where love resides.
Who you are is so worth loving.  You are the key to finding and keeping the love you deserve.

For the month of April and in recognition of April Fool’s Day you be foolish not to take up this great offer.

Save 10% off ‘12 Weeks to Total Love and relationship Transformation’ when booking in April 2016.

Would you like to:

  • Get to the heart of your love and relationship problems?
  • Release the past?
  • Start believing in yourself more?
  • Move on from doubts and fears?
  • Improve your confidence and self Esteem?
  • Improve current relationships?
  • Learn to trust again?
  • Let go of feelings that you’re unlovable?
  • Remove the blocks that are holding you back from love?
  • Find practical solutions to your love and relationship issues?
  • Accept yourself just as you are?
  • Turn up your love dial and let love in?
  • Redirect your focus and find love?
  • Envision your future exactly as you want it to be?

It is easy to fool the eye but it’s hard to fool the heart – Al pacino 

Say yes to you!

28 Feb

Taking stock ~ using EFT for Emotional Freedom

In this month’s previous blog posts:

Who Else Wants Emotional Freedom

EFT for Positive Change

Transform Your Emotions Using EFT

We discovered the benefits of applying The Emotional Freedom Technique when the going gets tough.

This week I offer a lovely exercise to go through which will bring awareness to what’s holding you back in life and love, feel free to adapt the questions if you have say career conflicts, difficulties with neighbours, challenges when it comes to health or finances.

EFT can be used to clear the full range of human emotions and limiting beliefs.  

 

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Practical Exercise (15 minutes for Q&A) plus additional time to work through the underlying emotions and beliefs. 

Download your EFT Tapping Chart here and the process here

Answer the following questions and record your answers in a journal.

If as you work through the questions you feel any uncomfortable emotions coming up, apply EFT. This will support you in dissolving and resolving the emotional overwhelm you may have been carrying, related to different areas of your life and life experiences.

Be patient with yourself, and know that as long as you are tapping and using EFT to shift and change the energy around the things that have been holding you back, progress can be made.
• What negative thoughts, feelings and emotions about love and relationships do you suffer from the most?
• Who or what triggers these thoughts, feelings and emotions the most? (this could be a person, situation or a place)
• List in brief, the top ten most traumatic events that you have experienced related to love and relationships
• Who or what is holding you back from having a loving and a positive relationship?
• What is preventing you from being more loving towards yourself?
• Who from your past are you carrying any anger or resentment towards?
• What limiting negative beliefs do you have about love?
• What limiting negative beliefs do you have about relationships?
• What limiting beliefs do you have about yourself? (i.e. I’m not good enough)
• What positive and empowering beliefs would you like to have about yourself, in love and relationships instead of the above?

 

When working with clients we explore the underlying emotions to current problems.  Often what we may be reacting to in the moment is actually from a past event which felt the same.

To understand more about your limiting beliefs you can download a free chapter about his at www.wendyfry.com or invest in my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE for the full range of love and relationship respurces.

If you’d like some personal support to work through the things which are holding you back from living your life with passion and purpose.  Please do make contact with me at info@wendyfry.com and discover how my range of services, tools and techniques will support you in getting back on track to being all you can be.
Your life begins to change the day you take responsibility for it – Steve Maraboli

 

08 Nov

Your Mind is Amazing!

Your mind is amazing!

It’s a complete storehouse of information that you have gathered throughout your life from birth to now.

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We store information through our senses (sight, sound, taste, smell and through feelings)

Our minds can be compared to enormous filing cabinets or hard drives storing various movies that contain the good, bad and ugly experiences from out pasts.

Just imagine your mind as this enormous warehouse storing your own personal past.

What movies do you have archived away?

Which movies bring up fear, anger, sadness, bitterness and pain, putting you in a state of dis-ease?

These films are like taped conversations playing over in your head or an endless series of thoughts, feelings and emotions moving through you.

Although an event happened in the past we might re-live it a thousand times over by thinking about it, re-experiencing it like it was actually happening all over again.

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• Which personal movies of yours are on constant replay?

• How often do you wake up and go to sleep with an old movie still running?

• How does this affect you emotionally and physically?

• What do you want instead?

These movies often represent a constant flow of negative experiences that we’ve been through (the voice of our inner critic/voice of doom, like a parasite that eats away at us from the inside and a voice we start to believe in and feelings that we think are real).

We replay over and over the same movies and the same story, until story becomes engrained.

The movie or inner story then becomes a default behaviour that we respond to when presented with a situation that is like one we have experienced before and triggers off what we believe to be true.

Most of what we react to has very little to do with a new experience and everything to do with past experiences (old movies)

What a liberation to realise that ‘the voice in my head’ is not who I am. ‘Who am I, then? The One who sees that – Eckhart Tolle

Head F**k

Pardon my language here, though I feel it needs to be said.  What we allow into our minds and what we play over and over really does leave us feeling f**ked at times.

Think back to the past and remember a time when you spent all day worrying over something.  Perhaps you experienced sleepless nights and upset stomach?  Were you, smoking or drinking too much to help you cope?

We are our own worst enemies, re-living arguments from decades ago, complaining about the weather, our partners, the rate of inflation, the youngsters of today, the state of the health service, our fears for the future….I’m exhausted just typing this up and this is what our thoughts can do to us.

We cling onto negative feelings, thoughts and emotions not realising that it’s us that suffers.

We become addicted to talking about all the things wrong with life seldom coming up for air.

  • How often do you feel overwhelmed emotionally?
  • What happens to your physical body when your thought time is filled up with worrying thoughts?
  • What are your energy levels like when your focus is on what’s wrong going wrong for you?
  • What happens to your sleep pattern?
  • How is your daily diet and digestion affected?
  • What do you actually gain by going over and over events from the past, ranting, complaining, moaning and perhaps even nagging?

If you want a happier life, more connected relationships, greater confidence and good health read on.

Unless we gain control over our minds we really will be F****d! 

Remember, you are not your thoughts!

In order to change the world, you have to get your head together first – Jimi hendrix

 

Practical Exercise – Mind Dump: Freeing the mind one thought at a time

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Find yourself a note book or better still a lovely big pad of A4 paper and grab yourself a pen.  You’re literally going to dump out what’s in your mind freehand.

There’s nothing more liberating than setting yourself free from the ‘poop’ from the past that you’ve been holding onto. 

For this mind dump activity, I suggest that you do it first thing in the morning, last thing at night and whenever you feel emotionally overwhelmed.

If you’re dumping a lot that’s good – better out than in!

There’s nothing complicated about the activity you simply write out what’s on your mind un-censored.  Let rip and have a good old rant on paper, really say what you want to say, nothing is banned here, only you will see it.

You may have several topics that you write about such as people or outside circumstances that are causing you stress.

Write about your worries, concerns, fears, doubts, injustices, anxieties, frustrations, uncertainties etc.

Just write what comes into your head and allow yourself the freedom to voice your thoughts.

Write until you can no longer think of what to write.  Get it all out!

The more frequently you do the mind dump exercise the less you will find you have to think about and in turn the less you will have to write.

You will feel better for doing this exercise on a regular basis and feeing your mind.

No one else has had to hear your rants, you haven’t gone into the same story over and over in the day telling everyone you know what you’re going through, making them feel f****d too, you simply write and get it all out freely and easily.

If you need to cry do, get some extra soft tissues and make sure to give yourself some TLC (Tender Loving Care) as you work through freeing your mind.

Things can only get better from here on in.

The primary cause of our unhappiness is never the situation but the thought about it –Eckhart Tolle

The Past is Over and You Have Your Whole Life Ahead of You

When we begin to realise that the past is over and it’s purely our thinking keeping it alive, we gain a sense of freedom.

No one ‘thinks us’. 

We wake up and realise that we do in fact have ownership over of the power of our own minds and that we can choose how we react and respond to life’s ups and downs.

If you need some help in finding clarity, support in working through your poop and making the rest of your life the best of your life I will be delighted to work with you please do make contact at info@wendyfry.com

For general therapy & support http://www.bepositive.me.uk

For love and relationship support http://www.wendyfry.com

17 Aug

It’s time to let go of the things weighing you down!

What are you holding onto that’s weighing you down?

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Choose from the list and feel free to add your own:

Anger |  Unwanted weight |  Grief  |  Hurt  | Physical Pain |  Conflict  | Sadness  | Fear  

Resentment  | Hatred  |  Uncertainty  |  Shame  |  Guilt  |  Anxiety  |  Depression  

Boredom |  Confusion  |  Embarrassment  |  Failure  |  Inadequacy  |  Hopelessness  

Stress  |  Unworthiness  |  Vulnerability  |  Powerlessness  |  Loneliness  | Despair?

The weight of emotion bears heavily on us as does the past if we spend too much time focusing on the negative aspects of time that’s already done!

The past only exists in our minds, a bit like a hard drive, if we keep going to the anger file and re-read all the history of every time we’ve felt angry, chances are just thinking about those events, people who made us angry and situations where we didn’t feel heard, validated, loved or approved of, well it feels like you’re back in the past and experiencing the event all over again.  And we both know that’s no fun!

Why would we do that to ourselves?

A lot of our thought time is wasted in the past.  Once you’ve spent that time, you can’t get it back!

We’d make better use of our time if we focused on what we’ve learned about the past and how to use that information to get clearer about what we do want!

Changing our thought’s always to ‘okay so what do I want?’  Will be thought time well spent and actually makes you feel more hopeful about life.

Being aware of the past is helpful, living there isn’t!

I invite you to have a ‘Mind Dump’, literally dump out all the contents of what you don’t want on this free to download Pdf worksheet and then go right on ahead and turn your don’t wants, to do wants and notice how your enthusiasm, motivation and focus changes when you spend more time thinking about what remains to be achieved.

The example in the Pdf is about love and relationships though you can use this exercise in all areas of your life.

Fill in the don’t wants first, then complete the do wants.

Now to have some fun, tear off the left hand (don’t want column) jump on it, burn it, rip it into little pieces, make a paper air plane of it and set yourself free form the don’t wants, you’ll be glad you did.

Now, you have just one lovely list about what you do want.

Focusing this way changes your energy vibration and you will find yourself attracting all those beautiful do wants to you.

Letting go of the things that hold you back will open new opportunities.  Your thoughts become clearer, your actions more defined and your goals easier to reach.

Watch out for the side effects…letting go of the things holding you back can seriously improve your life! 

Need some help in letting go?  Please contact me and discover for yourself a range of transformational techniques that will get you back on track to living your life with purpose!

Why look back when you can look forwards.

It’s time to let go of what’s been weighing you down! 

From my heart to yours with love

x Wendy

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12 Jun

Don’t Look Back ~ You’re not going that way!

The past is over! 

Many of us stay stuck in the past.  Wishing, wanting, hoping and dreaming for the future to be different but actually doing very little to change it.

What is it you want for your future and what stops you achieving that?

FLP snail

Future Life Progression is a unique and safe way to look ahead into your future for the purpose of finding out what next steps to take in your life now. It’s a positive experience that can only change your life for the better.

~ What would it be like to learn how to overcome the challenges you have right now?

~ What if you knew that making a certain choice was the right choice?

~ Is a certain job or relationship right for you?

~ Do you want to know if the next house move the right move?

So many questions can be answered this way.

Future Life Progression will give you all of these answers and more. 

The future is yours to create for yourself!

Future Life Progression will help you to achieve the best possible future you could ever imagine, when you apply the knowledge and wisdom your future self gives you! 

If you could give yourself advice 10 years ago after all the challenges you have overcome since then, what would you say?

Future Life Progression, other wise known as FLP is no different to that.

Whatever your questions ~ Future Life Progression will get you moving in the direction of your dreams.

I’ve recently used FLP for the following questions posed by clients:

  • What line of work/career should I be in
  • Will I cope if I have children/will my partner help out
  • Will I get married
  • Should I work on products or services
  • What are the names of my products
  • Will I meet anyone 
  • Should I take this business venture/opportunity
  • Will my business be successful
  • Where will I be living 

Rose gives her feedback here about her experience of FLP.

One week ago I visited Wendy for a Future Life Progression, I have a keen interest in Past Life Regression but knew very little about this.  The session was relaxing and I felt quite energised afterwards.  I am setting up a business so my focus was how this would progress over the next 5 and 10 years, I found the insight I gained from this session quite invaluable.   I had many ideas regarding the direction my business would take and was becoming very confused over where I should be concentrating my energies, this session has helped me to streamline my thoughts and focus on one path.  Looking back it is now quite obvious what I should have been doing but in my confusion I just couldn’t see it.  I would recommend this to anyone who is looking for some direction in life – Rose

~

FLP therapy was an absolute delight! It’s difficult to describe in words the potential I can now see within myself which without Wendy’s guidance I may never have been woken up to.  Wendy’s genuine passion to help others reach their full potential makes for an exceptionally rewarding experience – K Thomas

Additional information about FLP can be found at Future life Progression working in person in Sutton, Surrey UK or over Skype for your convenience.

What are you waiting for?….

The future is yours…

Wendy Fry, Emotional Health & Love & Relationship Consultant is an Advanced Practitioner of Future Life Progression.

Author of Find YOU, Find LOVE and offering  a range of services helping you to help yourself live an awesome life!

 

 

23 May

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Have you ever laid on your back looking at the clouds?

Perhaps you’ve noticed shapes, patterns or even words written across the sky or simply lost track of time as the clouds pass by.

I was reminded yesterday of the phrase ‘every cloud has a silver lining’.  Even when things don’t seem to be going well and we don’t like the situation we are in, some good may come from it, yet to be revealed.

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As well as being an author a bigger part of my work is supporting others as an Emotional Health Consultant.  That may include working with people with physical pain too.

Yesterday my client came to me in physical and emotional pain.

I asked the following questions:

  • What is the gift in this situation?
  • How might this physical pain and injury actually be benefiting you? 
  • Since having this complaint, what have you stopped doing that you never enjoyed anyway?
  • What has this injury moved you away from that you are happy about?
  • What is it moving you towards that you want more of?
  • What is this injury giving you time for?

I ask a lot of open question in my work, some of the questions are frustrating and clients do get angry. They might shout and say ‘why would there be a gift in this, I hate having XYZ’.

Emotional and physical pain can be a touchy subject though asking these questions does bring clarity.

Sometimes a client might not know the answer straight away so I ask them to ponder the questions and either email me with the answers or share their learnings in our next appointment. It’s interesting to find out what their silver lining is.

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This reminds me of another client I worked with some time ago who didn’t like the question ‘what is the gift in this situation’, she shouted at me and rightly so, she was in chronic pain and had been for years with bouts of pain so bad she was debilitated for days on end.

She then emailed me a couple of months later to say I now have the answers to the questions you asked me.

This is a snapshot of what she said:

I’m sorry I shouted at you.  As much as I hated the questions I can now see that my body and the pain I was holding is in fact a gift.

The gift in this situation is my pain has stopped me going to work.  I now know now that I need to leave my stressful job and move away from the people in my workplace not respecting me or my time.  

I realise that a 3 hour commute each day is adding to my stress.  I hate working in London!

 

This pain is benefiting me as it’s actually laid me up in bed and given me time to think about what I want from life.

I want to live by the cost, in a small cottage and get a dog.  I want to be able to go on long walks with my dog and have time to live life and enjoy it. 

Since having this pain I have not been able to drive to see the people I have toxic relationships with.  It’s given me time to realise that I need to create new boundaries with family.  They weren’t respecting me and I wasn’t respecting myself.

This physical pain has helped me understand the emotional pain I’ve been holding onto from past events and given me an opportunity to work with you and get the right kind of help.

I’m pleased to say that this particular  young lady made contact last year to say she had moved to the coast.  Sent a picture of her adorable puppy.  She now has a new job which is walking distance and is living with a partner in a happy and harmonious relationship.

She is fit, active and only on occasional days when she does too much do the symptoms of chronic pain come back.  Se now has all the skills and resources to manage her pain through our work together.

So my questions to you are:

  • What are your silver linings?
  • How is the relationship you are in benefiting you? Or indeed if you are single what is the benefit of that?
  • The job that you do.  What is it stopping you from doing that you might be afraid of?
  • The physical or emotional pain you may be in.  How has this shaped your life and what do you want instead?
  • If you were free from the things that you don’t want and don’t like what might you have to do that scares you?
  • Now you know every cloud has a silver lining what can you do today that will support you in moving past your physical or emotional pain?

I have hundreds and hundreds of insightful questions that will help to bring clarity to your own personal situation.

I can share with you tools and techniques that put you back in control of your life.

If you’d like to work with me check out www.bepositive.me.uk Helping you to help yourself to live your life with purpose!

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29 Jan

What a Difference A Day Makes – 24 Little Hours

And that difference is YOU!

We all have the same amount of hours in the day, 86,400 seconds in fact and I hope that today and every day you choose to make a difference to yourself!

On the 25th January 2015, I was very fortunate to be invited to speak at The Giving Back Conference hosted by the amazing Brett Moran http://brett-moran.com/gbc  This is the second year running Brett has hosted the event and all funds raised go to ‘Rebuilding Sri Lanka’.

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Not only were the speakers and organisers at The Giving Back Conference giving their time freely and willingly to raise funds, we all gathered to give you the opportunity to ‘Give Back To Yourself!’.

The energy in the room was amazing.  Nearly one hundred beautiful souls gathered together to give back to themselves and showed up for this life changing transformational event to create personal shifts and global change.  Principles were shared to help to initiate mindset shifts so that each and every person attending can achieve their personal goals.

Speakers Tim Box & Zoe Clews, street hypnotists http://boxandclews.com/ blew our minds with just how easily our minds can believe something even if it’s not real, it feels real.  Brett literally had his hand glued to the table believing he couldn’t move it.

How many of your limiting beliefs are like that? 

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Brett gave an awesome talk and shared with us his journey from addiction to recovery, to loving life and yoga.  Brett is an amazing man who speaks from the heart, who shows up as who he is, who cares so deeply and compassionately about people and the word around us and does some amazing work both with individuals and groups through his coaching programmes http://brett-moran.com/

Brett has a passion for helping others and an exuberant energy for life and living.  The funds raised from the day will add so much benefit to the people of Sri Lanka to rebuild their lives.  Thank you Brett for making a difference to all that had the opportunity to attend The GBC, our lives and the lives of others will never go back to the same shape after experiencing this transformational day.

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I was up next as a new speaker which was an amazing privilege for me to connect with others who were open and ready to learn about ‘self love’.

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There was so much acceptance in the room, so much trust, so much openness and so much love.  I shared my own story about believing at the age of twelve when my dad left that ‘I was Unlovable’ and talked a little about my first book ‘Find YOU, Find LOVEwhich shares the tools and techniques that guide you to finding more self love, self acceptance and as a result be able to give and receive love without conditions.

I realise now as an adult that the beliefs I formed weren’t true at all and that the reason my dad left was that he too felt unloved.  Beliefs can shape our lives negatively and positively.  Be sure to check in with your beliefs and how they may be limiting you.

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Many people at the conference shared with me that they resonated with my own story and were able to identify their own limiting beliefs about love and relationships based on their own individual experiences, often in childhood were still shaping their lives and how focusing on the past was limiting the capacity to fully love and the opportunity to fully live.

I could have talked all day about this subject and getting to know each persons experience of putting love outside of themselves, it’s a subject I will never tire of.  My journey has made me who I am and my pain has allowed me to connect with each of you through love and i wouldn’t change that for a thing.

Make your past work for you and shine your light on all that is possible for you and then some!

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Leading the group through The Spotlight Process a simple process which helps you examine where you are sending your thought time and how to bring your thoughts into balance, EFT (The Emotional Freedom Technique) to aid releasing pain from the past connected with love and relationship difficulties and a beautiful Future Life Progression to meet the ‘wizened older self’ to share messages about self love.  I felt truly humbled to connect in this way with so many.

 

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Thank you to all who joined in with these amazing techniques, Many of you came up after to feedback about the shifts, transformations and ‘light bulb moment’s’ that you had from applying the strategies offered to you.  Giving back to yourself in this way will have so many benefits and those benefits will grow and grow long after the day itself.

 

Next up was the very gentle and calming Robert Gebka, Director of The Dorset Mindfulness Centre http://www.dorset-mindfulness.co.uk/  Robert is author of Managing Depression with Mindfulness for Dummies. 

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Robert had some amazing demonstrations that showed us how the mind can become overwhelmed with thinking and overwhelmed with doing, he talked us through some relaxations and I have to be honest, I was so zoned out getting into them I can’t even remember what he was saying, it was just like being still and going inside, being but not hearing or doing.  It was soooooo sooo relaxing.

Here’s Robert with Brett.  What a winning combination to teach us to give something back to ourselves through awareness.

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Brett shared with us details of a book ‘Moment, By Moment’ by Jerry Braza & Tich Nhat Hanh which lead to Brett’s own personal transformation and boy did will all have some transformation moments on Sunday.  Although i’m writing away here, much of the day was beyond words.

Thank you to each and every one of you that showed up, I am so humbled to have shared the space and shared the love with you.  You make the difference!  Be proud of yourselves!

Today and every day is the first day of the rest of your life, LIVE IT! 

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Special thanks go to Jo Galloway, Brett’s PA who made it all happen…what’s a spelling mistake between friends x Love you Jo!

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Praise and a massive high five go to the awesome Alex Dixon, photographer and general nice guy, a strong, silent presence who has captured beautifully all the magic moments from the day.

Stupendous praise, thanks and love go to  the gorgeous Ella Brett’s daughter who helped us out with the raffle, check in and generally just being her beautiful self.  I thought she might be a little camera shy for this blog, believe me she is like her daddy, beautiful inside and out.

What a difference a day makes, twenty four little hours.  That difference is YOU!

Day by day, week by week, moment by moment go back to the heart of you.  Within you is everything you will ever need.

Namaste…..I see you x

www.wendyfry.com Helping you to get to the heart of your love and relationship problems

 

What a Difference a Day Makes by Dinah Washington http://youtu.be/OmBxVfQTuvI