31 Jul

Trigger Happy!

You’ve probably heard the term ‘Trigger Happy’ without really thinking too much about what it means. If you search the term on various dictionaries it will relate to the use of guns, violence, aggression and hot-headed behaviour.

I’ve been thinking a lot about ‘triggers’ of late and how each of us, whether we are aware of it or not are triggered in various ways by other people, our environment, culture and immediate circle of influence as well as the media, religions and even marketing for food, cars, fancy watches and designer clothes.

We are sensory beings filtering, responding and storing information through our senses of touch, taste, smell, sight and sound. Gut instinct and intuition comes into it too.

So before I go into too much jargon (i’ve been knows to do this at times) i’d like to talk with you about ‘Happy Trigger’s’

I said Happy Triggers, not Happy Tiggers!

Who here knows and loves Tigger from Winnie the Poo?  I thought i’d post a picture of me here in costume, what do you reckon?


Before I digress…back to happy triggers!

What makes you happy?

  • Waking up at the weekend knowing you haven’t got work
  • Having time to play with your children
  • Eating your favourite meal or snack
  • Gazing at the stars, sunrises or sunsets
  • Meeting your friends
  • Listening to your favourite band
  • Reading a book
  • Seeing your family
  • Being in nature
  • Soaking in a luxurious scented bath 
  • Treating yourself or someone else to a gift
  • Stroking a pet
  • Planting a garden
  • Watching your favourite movie
  • Laying in the sun
  • Playing a sport
  • Singing, acting or dancing
  • Seeing other people happy 

Guaranteed reading through this list you will have been triggered by a word, a thought, a feeling and a memory or series of memories.

When you feel out of kilter, notice what triggered a bad mood, was it something you saw, heard, felt, touched or tasted, or just a sense of gut intuition kicking in?

When you become more aware of your triggers, you don’t have to keep shooting yourself with them, playing the scenario over and over (you know that’s no fun), you can catch your triggers and begin to recognise what you are responding to might have nothing at all to do with what’s going on in the moment and everything to do with something from the past.

Load your thoughts with happiness….

Now for a little ‘home play’, because it’s so much nicer than ‘home work’.  Grab yourself a pen and paper or open up your notes on your phone, pc or tablet and get busy writing down 100 things which make you happy, then when you’re done, write another 100.

And while you’re at it, feel free to sing along Come on Everyone Get Happy!



29 Dec

End of Year Reflections Leading to a New Year and New Life


End of Year Reflections Leading to a New Year and New Life.

Please use this exercise to reflect back on 2014 and the lessons that you learnt about yourself, other people and the world around you.

welcome 2015

There may have been some painful parts to 2014, though with learning often the unpleasant situations are our greatest gifts and create positive change and new beginnings in our lives.

You might like to copy out the questions in a journal and work through them one by one.

• Reflecting back on 2014, what happened month by month?

• What did you really love about 2014?

• What were the high points of the year?

• What were your magic and special moments?

• What made you smile?

• What made you cry?

• What happened in 2014 that you would rather not go through in 2015?

• What experiences have you been through that you did not enjoy in 2014?

• What did you learn from those experiences?

• What do you need to change?

• What do you need to start doing, stop doing or do differently?

(This can be related to how you spend your time, who you spend time with, your health, and your income, your sense of self, your relationships and any other aspect of your life)

• What important lessons did you learn in 2014 about:

* Yourself?
* People in general?
* Your body?
* Your work/business?
* Your family?
* Your relationships?
* Your sense of fulfilment and accomplishment?

• What do you want in 2015? (Answer in the positive tense-no don’t wants’ allowed!)

• What are you committed to achieving?

• What is the most important skill that you want to either further develop or master within yourself?

• What changes and actions are you committed to changing in your life?

• What do you need to do in 2015 to move on from 2014 (even though 2014 may have been amazing, what do you need to leave behind in order to move on?)

• If 2014 was a tough year for you, how can you use your learning to your best advantage to make 2015 your best year yet?

• What are you committed to?

• What can you achieve in the next 12 months with focused attention?

• Who were you when you started 2014 and who are you now?

• Who are you becoming?

• What else is possible for you?

girl making wish

I hope that you enjoy completing your end of year reflections.  After completion you may like to read back through it and take from it your goals and action steps to make 2015 your best year yet!

Write them down and make them happen!

Sign up to free resources and audio downloads at www.wendyfry.com

Wendy Fry | Emotional Health & Relationship Consultant | Helping you to help yourself |www.bepositive.me.uk | www.wendyfry.com

27 Dec

Love is where we live

Love is where we live.

Today I thought I saw a sign that said ‘Love is where we live’ under the ‘You are here in Tunbridge Wells town sign’.  It made me smile not only to realise that I had in fact reached my destination I also felt a surge of excitement in  anticipation of the day and what I could find to love from the day’s events.

The sign got me thinking about love and how love relates to where we live. 

Many think of home as bricks and mortar, an area, a town, a country.  Some say ‘home is where the heart’ is or ‘wherever I lay my hat that’s my home’ but what is it really like to live ‘inside you’ and how much love is under your roof?  How much time and attention are you investing in making your own personal house a home?

Love is where we live

  • Many people travel the world over to find a place where they can settle down called home.
  • Some look outside of themselves for someone else to love them and fill up their empty rooms with love or things. 
  • Others try to escape love through drugs, alcohol, work, sleep and other addictions because their experience of where they’ve lived before has been painful and unwelcoming. 
  • For some they build up comfort zones and prisons made up of fears, insecurities and doubts instead of homes. 

Not every place you live will have dry rot or crumbling walls, not every home will cause heartache.  Some homes that you have never even stepped into have solid foundations. They may be an undiscovered investment that given the opportunity will bring you untold joys.  These homes may provide warmth, shelter, happiness and love.  A place where you can lay your hat, a place where you can be accepted as who you are, a place where you are loved, a place called home….what would that be like for you?

It’s true each home you investigate may have a risk attached to it, but what’s the risk if you stay inside that comfort zone, keep travelling the world over or keep moving from home to home before you even unpack?  Is your home really where the heart is?

Before you do consider where to live, just check in with yourself and make a note of how much love is under your roof and before you can love another be sure to go about the business of making your own house a home.  This love and relationship inventory will lead the way https://wendyfry.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Love-and-Relationship-Inventory1.pdf

If you would like some help in working through the barriers that you may have to living in a happy home, I offer a range of services to support your needs https://wendyfry.com/services It will be my joy to support you.

On further investigation on the way back, the sign actually said ‘love where we live’.  It’s a borough run council programme to celebrate and reward the amazing individuals, groups and organisations that help make Tunbridge Wells a great place to live.

I’m thinking about making myself up t-shirt that say’s ‘love lives here’.  I may not live in Tunbridge Wells though wherever I travel, that’s my home, just like a snail carries its shell on its back – I carry love with me wherever I go and you can too x

From my heart you yours with love

X Wendy

Helping you to get to the heart of your love and relationship problems www.wendyfry.com

https://www.facebook.com/lovewherewelive?fref=photo For Tunbridge Wells Facebook group ‘Love where we live’