29 Aug

The Best of Friends

When you think of the word friend or friendship who or what comes to mind?

I love using a Thesaurus and found the following meanings in terms of friendship and the components of what we might mutually bring to a relationship with friends.  Reading through how many of these statements resonate with you and the friendships you’re blessed with?

  • accord
  • affection
  • agreement
  • closeness
  • devotion
  • harmony
  • intimacy
  • love
  • rapport
  • understanding
  • affinity
  • amiability
  • company
  • consideration
  • empathy
  • fondness
  • friendliness
  • sodality

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I don’t know about you but I personally have the best of friends and have known many of them for over 35 years, oh boy, that makes me feel a little old though all things considered my friendships have lasted longer than my relationships.

Friends come in all shapes and sizes, nationalities, ages, sexes with common goals and aims or opposing opinions.  I can understand the term ‘friends for life’ as so many of us are blessed with life long friendships from the day we form the friendship until the day we die, so many wonderful experiences can be shared with friends.

I invite you to take a moment today to honour your friendships and acknowledge them in some way, whether it be a call,  meeting up, sending a greeting by social media or indeed sharing this blog post just to say ‘thank you for being my friend.’

It’s often our friends who are there for us in our darkest hours and who are the first to want to celebrate our successes.

So on that note to all my wonderful friends, I love you, thank you for being in my life, you are the best!

 

 

 

22 Jun

Ten Years in the Making

A decade.  Ten years.  A passage in time.  Ten years of hopes and dreams and in betweens…..

When you think of the number 10 what comes to mind?

Do you jump back to the age of ten, think about Ten Pin Bowling, remember your ten times tables, the movie Ten or something else entirely?

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Well, I have a little confession and I got my 10 and 8 muddled up (for those of you who know about cockney rhyming slang, one would say ”I got myself in a two and eight” = state)

Just recently…with much excitement, drum rolling and even celebratory drinks, I shared a post on Facebook proclaiming a anniversary of ten years in my business when in fact it’s only been eight….woops

Maybe the ‘Freudian Slip’ is to blame (an error of speech, memory, internal train of thought or subconscious wish) or perhaps it actually feels like i’ve been doing what I love for longer than I have.   And, well…for those of you who know me i’m never one to miss a chance to celebrate!

So why am I writing this blog?

Firsty my good friend Jayesh suggested I write up my ten (eight years) in the making and secondly i’m reaching out to that part of you who, maybe just a tad could also do with celebrating your successes.

If you were ever hesitant about celebrating and having a bit of self-recognition now you have an excuse, because this blog is encouraging you to do just that…celebrate your wins, big and small.  In fact let’s celebrate right now, you’re here reading this and that in itself is a celebration!

So whether you’ve been doing something new for a day, a week, a month, a year or ten, my message is celebrate your successes, achievements, milestones and greatness, heck let’s start a Mexican wave and see how far across the globe it travels….

I bet if you look back over the last ten years and reflect on what you’ve overcome, the challenges you’ve got through, the problems you’ve resolved and what you’ve achieved you might actually start nodding your head as you read, smiling and saying out loud ‘wow’…..

Before you start chasing your next goal, dream, rainbow or bus, my invitation to you is to stand still (after the Mexican wave move) take a deep breath in and out, roll your shoulders back, stick your chest out and your tongue if you must and take stock on just how far you’ve come…then…and this is the fun part, point to yourself and say ”i’m amazing”, now say it even louder! Say it again and again.  Walk round and say it, do a little dance, jiggle your bottom, hold your head up high…take a bow…salute yourself and give yourself a round of applause. Yay, you rock!

Okay, now you can sit down now…

You are amazing, you’ve been through so much already and I know, right now, wherever you are in achieving the things which are important to you whether it’s learning Spanish, taking dance classes, improving your health, learning to knit or simply stretching yourself out of your comfort zone to be all you can be, there will be a time in the future when you’re having so much fun the concept of time runs away with itself and Julie Andrews style you’ll running around on a hill top pointing at yourself and saying ”i’m amazing”.

So my ten years in the making, albeit eight wouldn’t be possible without the engagement of others.  I love what I do.  It’s true, along the way i’ve fallen down, got back up, tried a new route, asked for help, had to learn a shed load of ‘stuff’, i’ve had some doubts, some fears, plenty of tears and yet…i’m ‘proof in the pudding’ (and I do love pudding)  that what you want to achieve you can!  Step by step with those little and large celebrations along the way, you will get there.  Remember, sometimes you just need to ‘be’, in the moment, taking that bow, recognising you, breathing, living, loving and celebrating you!

When you do what you love and you celebrate your achievements along the way you get more of what you want.  Appreciating the small steps, giant strides and leaps of faith you have taken and will continue to take will soon add up to actualising the dream, fulfilling your ambition, completing a task and well, a celebration or three.  Are you in?

Happiness is not a destination, it is a journey.  Make time to smell the roses along the way. 

Now…

Just for fun, stand up again, put up both hands up in front of you and give me a high ten, you are amazing!

 

21 Apr

Why doing what you love is good for you

Whether it’s reaching a high and experiencing a surge of endorphins at the end of running, raising money for charity, organising an event for friends, fishing, rambling or simply getting your hands dirty as you plant up your Spring tubs, doing what you love has so many health benefits.

Reduction in stress and anxiety, emotional and physical health improvement, increased self esteem and a more positive attitude are the only side effects of doing more of what you love…it makes sense, yes?

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  • When was the last time you made time for you to do whatever you wanted without the need for anyone elses approval, permission or judgement?

 

  • How often do you meet up with your best friends for those all important girly  chats and hugs or for an evening of boys banter over a pint or a round of golf? 

 

  • What sets your heart alight, is it creating some artwork, singing, amateur dramatics, writing prose, dancing or something else and when was the last time you did that?

Doing what you love may or may not cost money.

Most of the things I love are free such as walking in nature, watching my friends children play, writing, digging in the garden, spending time with friends over a cuppa or simply watching the sky.  There is so much you can do to increase daily happiness when you make time for it.

January is a classic for New Year’s Resolutions, though I like to set new goals for myself in the Spring.  Perhaps you’d care to join me in doing more of what you love?

Spring is a time of new birth, new beginnings, a time for flourishing, living and loving.

What can you do today that your future self will thank you for?

Dance like nobody’s watching

Love like you’ve never been hurt

Sing like nobody’s listening

Live like heaven on earth 

Verse by William Perky

If you need more positivity in your life and want to say yes to you, you might like to invest in yourself and make the rest of your life the best of your life right here

 

11 Oct

Seeing is Believing!

What’s your personal vision for the future in positive terms?

How will you know when you’ve achieved it?

What will it look like, sound like, feel like?

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I love using a ‘Personal Vision Exercise’ when I’m working with clients. When they are in their heads trying to analyse what it is they want and why and think things through rationally they are using conscious mind.

Left too long to our own devices, bogged down with the how’s we run the risk of staying stay stuck where we are and nothing changes.

It’s out creative subconscious mind which loves to make pictures, to see visions materialise, the artist of our dreams, the creator of our reality.   Unconscious mind is expansive  and limitless.

Imagine what you can create using your mind to it’s fullest potential…

You might like to try the personal vision exercise for yourself.

  • Take a whole bunch of magazines, holiday brochures, newspapers, guides, flyers and anything which has a picture on which makes you feel good and what you want as part of your future
  • Cut out key words or write your own in and also collect anything which represents your goal as already being achieved
  • Arrange your layout in a way that feels right for you
  • You can then glue into a journal, create a vision board or apply to the inside of a clip frame or make a poster of your personal vision and goal achievement
  • Making just five minutes a day to look at your personal vision, seeing really is believing.  What your mind conceives, it can believe and it will achieve!
  • Using this process you activate all senses, sight, sound, smell, taste and feelings.  Imagine turning up a dial of your senses and getting them off the scale to really experience the joy of achieving your goals at a cellular level

Seeing really is believing.  What you choose to focus on expands.  You will find what you focus on showing up in your life more and more.

So be sure to focus on the good stuff!

If it’s health, wealth, love, success, happiness or something else entirely, make this your personal vision for your future.  It will be time well spent!

Need a hand in getting started?  I’d be happy to work with you to achieve your goals.  Check out my services here

If you’d like specific support in the area of love and relationships check out the free resources and make contact when you’re ready to get to the heat of your love and relationship problems.

23 May

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Have you ever laid on your back looking at the clouds?

Perhaps you’ve noticed shapes, patterns or even words written across the sky or simply lost track of time as the clouds pass by.

I was reminded yesterday of the phrase ‘every cloud has a silver lining’.  Even when things don’t seem to be going well and we don’t like the situation we are in, some good may come from it, yet to be revealed.

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As well as being an author a bigger part of my work is supporting others as an Emotional Health Consultant.  That may include working with people with physical pain too.

Yesterday my client came to me in physical and emotional pain.

I asked the following questions:

  • What is the gift in this situation?
  • How might this physical pain and injury actually be benefiting you? 
  • Since having this complaint, what have you stopped doing that you never enjoyed anyway?
  • What has this injury moved you away from that you are happy about?
  • What is it moving you towards that you want more of?
  • What is this injury giving you time for?

I ask a lot of open question in my work, some of the questions are frustrating and clients do get angry. They might shout and say ‘why would there be a gift in this, I hate having XYZ’.

Emotional and physical pain can be a touchy subject though asking these questions does bring clarity.

Sometimes a client might not know the answer straight away so I ask them to ponder the questions and either email me with the answers or share their learnings in our next appointment. It’s interesting to find out what their silver lining is.

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This reminds me of another client I worked with some time ago who didn’t like the question ‘what is the gift in this situation’, she shouted at me and rightly so, she was in chronic pain and had been for years with bouts of pain so bad she was debilitated for days on end.

She then emailed me a couple of months later to say I now have the answers to the questions you asked me.

This is a snapshot of what she said:

I’m sorry I shouted at you.  As much as I hated the questions I can now see that my body and the pain I was holding is in fact a gift.

The gift in this situation is my pain has stopped me going to work.  I now know now that I need to leave my stressful job and move away from the people in my workplace not respecting me or my time.  

I realise that a 3 hour commute each day is adding to my stress.  I hate working in London!

 

This pain is benefiting me as it’s actually laid me up in bed and given me time to think about what I want from life.

I want to live by the cost, in a small cottage and get a dog.  I want to be able to go on long walks with my dog and have time to live life and enjoy it. 

Since having this pain I have not been able to drive to see the people I have toxic relationships with.  It’s given me time to realise that I need to create new boundaries with family.  They weren’t respecting me and I wasn’t respecting myself.

This physical pain has helped me understand the emotional pain I’ve been holding onto from past events and given me an opportunity to work with you and get the right kind of help.

I’m pleased to say that this particular  young lady made contact last year to say she had moved to the coast.  Sent a picture of her adorable puppy.  She now has a new job which is walking distance and is living with a partner in a happy and harmonious relationship.

She is fit, active and only on occasional days when she does too much do the symptoms of chronic pain come back.  Se now has all the skills and resources to manage her pain through our work together.

So my questions to you are:

  • What are your silver linings?
  • How is the relationship you are in benefiting you? Or indeed if you are single what is the benefit of that?
  • The job that you do.  What is it stopping you from doing that you might be afraid of?
  • The physical or emotional pain you may be in.  How has this shaped your life and what do you want instead?
  • If you were free from the things that you don’t want and don’t like what might you have to do that scares you?
  • Now you know every cloud has a silver lining what can you do today that will support you in moving past your physical or emotional pain?

I have hundreds and hundreds of insightful questions that will help to bring clarity to your own personal situation.

I can share with you tools and techniques that put you back in control of your life.

If you’d like to work with me check out www.bepositive.me.uk Helping you to help yourself to live your life with purpose!

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17 May

Under the Same Sky

It’s fair to say. Waking up at dawn on a Sunday morning at silly o’clock when most normal folk might be sleeping in has its benefits.

Mornings are when I’m most productive. When my brain is the most creative and when I have the most energy so I’ve taken to waking up with the dawn chorus.

Laying in bed looking out across apricot skies, with tinges of turquoise and florescent greens I marvel at the beauty of nature.

I also wondered who might be coming in from a night out seeing the exact same sky or who may have been woken by a hungry baby or snoring husband, bleary eyed and in need of sleep.

It got me thinking that we all live under the same sky.

Freedom illustration

The sky doesn’t belong to anyone, the moon or the sun come to that and at some point maybe you and I have looked at the same stars in wonder, shared the same sunset or indeed the same dawn chorus.

As you go about your day today, tomorrow, next week and all the months and years ahead take some time each day or night to look up at the sky and wonder who else might be doing the exact same thing.

Feel the connection that we share….

You are never alone…

Somewhere…

Someone…

Living under the same sky…

Is thinking of you

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I like it that you and I live under the same sky…

Knowing we are connected through time and space…

Two people with different parents…

Perhaps different nationalities…

Different values and beliefs…

Different hopes and fears…

Different goals and dreams…

We are not separated by these things.  We are connected together through something far greater than ourselves. 

May to September it’s curtains open for me and I naturally wake with the dawn.

Whether you are still sleeping or just waking up to the day….this is for you.

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Under the same sky, you and I.

From my heart you yours with love  x

Wendy

Wendy Fry author of Find YOU, Find LOVE: Get to the heart of love and relationships, available on amazon.

My website www.wendyfry.com offers a range of free love and relationship resources and audio downloads for you to enjoy.  Please do make contact if you would like to work with me in person I have a range of support programmes helping you to live your life with purpose!

29 Jan

What a Difference A Day Makes – 24 Little Hours

And that difference is YOU!

We all have the same amount of hours in the day, 86,400 seconds in fact and I hope that today and every day you choose to make a difference to yourself!

On the 25th January 2015, I was very fortunate to be invited to speak at The Giving Back Conference hosted by the amazing Brett Moran http://brett-moran.com/gbc  This is the second year running Brett has hosted the event and all funds raised go to ‘Rebuilding Sri Lanka’.

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Not only were the speakers and organisers at The Giving Back Conference giving their time freely and willingly to raise funds, we all gathered to give you the opportunity to ‘Give Back To Yourself!’.

The energy in the room was amazing.  Nearly one hundred beautiful souls gathered together to give back to themselves and showed up for this life changing transformational event to create personal shifts and global change.  Principles were shared to help to initiate mindset shifts so that each and every person attending can achieve their personal goals.

Speakers Tim Box & Zoe Clews, street hypnotists http://boxandclews.com/ blew our minds with just how easily our minds can believe something even if it’s not real, it feels real.  Brett literally had his hand glued to the table believing he couldn’t move it.

How many of your limiting beliefs are like that? 

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Brett gave an awesome talk and shared with us his journey from addiction to recovery, to loving life and yoga.  Brett is an amazing man who speaks from the heart, who shows up as who he is, who cares so deeply and compassionately about people and the word around us and does some amazing work both with individuals and groups through his coaching programmes http://brett-moran.com/

Brett has a passion for helping others and an exuberant energy for life and living.  The funds raised from the day will add so much benefit to the people of Sri Lanka to rebuild their lives.  Thank you Brett for making a difference to all that had the opportunity to attend The GBC, our lives and the lives of others will never go back to the same shape after experiencing this transformational day.

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I was up next as a new speaker which was an amazing privilege for me to connect with others who were open and ready to learn about ‘self love’.

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There was so much acceptance in the room, so much trust, so much openness and so much love.  I shared my own story about believing at the age of twelve when my dad left that ‘I was Unlovable’ and talked a little about my first book ‘Find YOU, Find LOVEwhich shares the tools and techniques that guide you to finding more self love, self acceptance and as a result be able to give and receive love without conditions.

I realise now as an adult that the beliefs I formed weren’t true at all and that the reason my dad left was that he too felt unloved.  Beliefs can shape our lives negatively and positively.  Be sure to check in with your beliefs and how they may be limiting you.

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Many people at the conference shared with me that they resonated with my own story and were able to identify their own limiting beliefs about love and relationships based on their own individual experiences, often in childhood were still shaping their lives and how focusing on the past was limiting the capacity to fully love and the opportunity to fully live.

I could have talked all day about this subject and getting to know each persons experience of putting love outside of themselves, it’s a subject I will never tire of.  My journey has made me who I am and my pain has allowed me to connect with each of you through love and i wouldn’t change that for a thing.

Make your past work for you and shine your light on all that is possible for you and then some!

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Leading the group through The Spotlight Process a simple process which helps you examine where you are sending your thought time and how to bring your thoughts into balance, EFT (The Emotional Freedom Technique) to aid releasing pain from the past connected with love and relationship difficulties and a beautiful Future Life Progression to meet the ‘wizened older self’ to share messages about self love.  I felt truly humbled to connect in this way with so many.

 

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Thank you to all who joined in with these amazing techniques, Many of you came up after to feedback about the shifts, transformations and ‘light bulb moment’s’ that you had from applying the strategies offered to you.  Giving back to yourself in this way will have so many benefits and those benefits will grow and grow long after the day itself.

 

Next up was the very gentle and calming Robert Gebka, Director of The Dorset Mindfulness Centre http://www.dorset-mindfulness.co.uk/  Robert is author of Managing Depression with Mindfulness for Dummies. 

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Robert had some amazing demonstrations that showed us how the mind can become overwhelmed with thinking and overwhelmed with doing, he talked us through some relaxations and I have to be honest, I was so zoned out getting into them I can’t even remember what he was saying, it was just like being still and going inside, being but not hearing or doing.  It was soooooo sooo relaxing.

Here’s Robert with Brett.  What a winning combination to teach us to give something back to ourselves through awareness.

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Brett shared with us details of a book ‘Moment, By Moment’ by Jerry Braza & Tich Nhat Hanh which lead to Brett’s own personal transformation and boy did will all have some transformation moments on Sunday.  Although i’m writing away here, much of the day was beyond words.

Thank you to each and every one of you that showed up, I am so humbled to have shared the space and shared the love with you.  You make the difference!  Be proud of yourselves!

Today and every day is the first day of the rest of your life, LIVE IT! 

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Special thanks go to Jo Galloway, Brett’s PA who made it all happen…what’s a spelling mistake between friends x Love you Jo!

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Praise and a massive high five go to the awesome Alex Dixon, photographer and general nice guy, a strong, silent presence who has captured beautifully all the magic moments from the day.

Stupendous praise, thanks and love go to  the gorgeous Ella Brett’s daughter who helped us out with the raffle, check in and generally just being her beautiful self.  I thought she might be a little camera shy for this blog, believe me she is like her daddy, beautiful inside and out.

What a difference a day makes, twenty four little hours.  That difference is YOU!

Day by day, week by week, moment by moment go back to the heart of you.  Within you is everything you will ever need.

Namaste…..I see you x

www.wendyfry.com Helping you to get to the heart of your love and relationship problems

 

What a Difference a Day Makes by Dinah Washington http://youtu.be/OmBxVfQTuvI

30 Dec

What’s Your Word for 2015?

Want a simple and effective way to make 2015 awesome?  Here’s how…

Choose a word that evokes in you a wonderful feeling, a word that when you think of it makes you feel I glad all over, a word that when you visualise the results of achieving it you feel alive!   Choose a word that when you hear it or read it inspires you and makes your heart sing.  Select a word that really gets your taste buds tingling and your nose sniffing out for more of your word.

Use all of your senses to really connect with your word, what will it look like, feel, like, sound like to have more of your word in your life?  Ramp up those thoughts and feelings and embody your word deep inside of yourself, let your word live in you and through you, through thought, action and deed.

My word for 2015 is LOVE, yes love! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE and more lovely LOVE!

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There is so much to love.  I love my family, my friends, my work, I love life and living, I love being connected with people I have never even met, I love giving love as well as receiving love.

So think about your  buzz word. What do you want more of in 2015?

Choose a word that makes you feel good, a word that you want more of, a word that you are committed to giving as well as receiving, a word that makes you smile, a word that sets your heart on fire!

Now go and find yourself an awesome looking pebble or piece of driftwood, something beautiful from nature  to write your word on, your word will replace to mother earth that which is taken in a very positive way, it can be put back into the earth at the end of 2015 with thanks and gratitude. As an alternative perhaps you might like to create something from Paper Mache or make a card, use embroidery to stitch your word, bake a cake with the word on it, make some music that relates to your word use your creativity to find a way that best expresses you and your word.

Love in grass

My lovely LOVE pebble will now sit next to my computer so that all communications I send, I send with love.  The pebble will be in my work space so all that enter my office to work with me will also feel the energy of love ripple out.

Love will be my focus for 2015.  I will see LOVE every day, I will feel LOVE every day, I will hear LOVE every day, I will BE love.

So what’s  YOUR word for 2015? 

Feel free to share your word and this blog to inspire others to choose a word for 2015.

Words are magical and so are you, create for yourself a beautiful future with YOUR word.

If you’d like to work with me to make the rest of your life the best of your life  check out www.bepositive.me.uk it will be my pleasure to connect with you