08 Nov

Your Mind is Amazing!

Your mind is amazing!

It’s a complete storehouse of information that you have gathered throughout your life from birth to now.

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We store information through our senses (sight, sound, taste, smell and through feelings)

Our minds can be compared to enormous filing cabinets or hard drives storing various movies that contain the good, bad and ugly experiences from out pasts.

Just imagine your mind as this enormous warehouse storing your own personal past.

What movies do you have archived away?

Which movies bring up fear, anger, sadness, bitterness and pain, putting you in a state of dis-ease?

These films are like taped conversations playing over in your head or an endless series of thoughts, feelings and emotions moving through you.

Although an event happened in the past we might re-live it a thousand times over by thinking about it, re-experiencing it like it was actually happening all over again.

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• Which personal movies of yours are on constant replay?

• How often do you wake up and go to sleep with an old movie still running?

• How does this affect you emotionally and physically?

• What do you want instead?

These movies often represent a constant flow of negative experiences that we’ve been through (the voice of our inner critic/voice of doom, like a parasite that eats away at us from the inside and a voice we start to believe in and feelings that we think are real).

We replay over and over the same movies and the same story, until story becomes engrained.

The movie or inner story then becomes a default behaviour that we respond to when presented with a situation that is like one we have experienced before and triggers off what we believe to be true.

Most of what we react to has very little to do with a new experience and everything to do with past experiences (old movies)

What a liberation to realise that ‘the voice in my head’ is not who I am. ‘Who am I, then? The One who sees that – Eckhart Tolle

Head F**k

Pardon my language here, though I feel it needs to be said.  What we allow into our minds and what we play over and over really does leave us feeling f**ked at times.

Think back to the past and remember a time when you spent all day worrying over something.  Perhaps you experienced sleepless nights and upset stomach?  Were you, smoking or drinking too much to help you cope?

We are our own worst enemies, re-living arguments from decades ago, complaining about the weather, our partners, the rate of inflation, the youngsters of today, the state of the health service, our fears for the future….I’m exhausted just typing this up and this is what our thoughts can do to us.

We cling onto negative feelings, thoughts and emotions not realising that it’s us that suffers.

We become addicted to talking about all the things wrong with life seldom coming up for air.

  • How often do you feel overwhelmed emotionally?
  • What happens to your physical body when your thought time is filled up with worrying thoughts?
  • What are your energy levels like when your focus is on what’s wrong going wrong for you?
  • What happens to your sleep pattern?
  • How is your daily diet and digestion affected?
  • What do you actually gain by going over and over events from the past, ranting, complaining, moaning and perhaps even nagging?

If you want a happier life, more connected relationships, greater confidence and good health read on.

Unless we gain control over our minds we really will be F****d! 

Remember, you are not your thoughts!

In order to change the world, you have to get your head together first – Jimi hendrix

 

Practical Exercise – Mind Dump: Freeing the mind one thought at a time

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Find yourself a note book or better still a lovely big pad of A4 paper and grab yourself a pen.  You’re literally going to dump out what’s in your mind freehand.

There’s nothing more liberating than setting yourself free from the ‘poop’ from the past that you’ve been holding onto. 

For this mind dump activity, I suggest that you do it first thing in the morning, last thing at night and whenever you feel emotionally overwhelmed.

If you’re dumping a lot that’s good – better out than in!

There’s nothing complicated about the activity you simply write out what’s on your mind un-censored.  Let rip and have a good old rant on paper, really say what you want to say, nothing is banned here, only you will see it.

You may have several topics that you write about such as people or outside circumstances that are causing you stress.

Write about your worries, concerns, fears, doubts, injustices, anxieties, frustrations, uncertainties etc.

Just write what comes into your head and allow yourself the freedom to voice your thoughts.

Write until you can no longer think of what to write.  Get it all out!

The more frequently you do the mind dump exercise the less you will find you have to think about and in turn the less you will have to write.

You will feel better for doing this exercise on a regular basis and feeing your mind.

No one else has had to hear your rants, you haven’t gone into the same story over and over in the day telling everyone you know what you’re going through, making them feel f****d too, you simply write and get it all out freely and easily.

If you need to cry do, get some extra soft tissues and make sure to give yourself some TLC (Tender Loving Care) as you work through freeing your mind.

Things can only get better from here on in.

The primary cause of our unhappiness is never the situation but the thought about it –Eckhart Tolle

The Past is Over and You Have Your Whole Life Ahead of You

When we begin to realise that the past is over and it’s purely our thinking keeping it alive, we gain a sense of freedom.

No one ‘thinks us’. 

We wake up and realise that we do in fact have ownership over of the power of our own minds and that we can choose how we react and respond to life’s ups and downs.

If you need some help in finding clarity, support in working through your poop and making the rest of your life the best of your life I will be delighted to work with you please do make contact at info@wendyfry.com

For general therapy & support http://www.bepositive.me.uk

For love and relationship support http://www.wendyfry.com

12 Jun

Don’t Look Back ~ You’re not going that way!

The past is over! 

Many of us stay stuck in the past.  Wishing, wanting, hoping and dreaming for the future to be different but actually doing very little to change it.

What is it you want for your future and what stops you achieving that?

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Future Life Progression is a unique and safe way to look ahead into your future for the purpose of finding out what next steps to take in your life now. It’s a positive experience that can only change your life for the better.

~ What would it be like to learn how to overcome the challenges you have right now?

~ What if you knew that making a certain choice was the right choice?

~ Is a certain job or relationship right for you?

~ Do you want to know if the next house move the right move?

So many questions can be answered this way.

Future Life Progression will give you all of these answers and more. 

The future is yours to create for yourself!

Future Life Progression will help you to achieve the best possible future you could ever imagine, when you apply the knowledge and wisdom your future self gives you! 

If you could give yourself advice 10 years ago after all the challenges you have overcome since then, what would you say?

Future Life Progression, other wise known as FLP is no different to that.

Whatever your questions ~ Future Life Progression will get you moving in the direction of your dreams.

I’ve recently used FLP for the following questions posed by clients:

  • What line of work/career should I be in
  • Will I cope if I have children/will my partner help out
  • Will I get married
  • Should I work on products or services
  • What are the names of my products
  • Will I meet anyone 
  • Should I take this business venture/opportunity
  • Will my business be successful
  • Where will I be living 

Rose gives her feedback here about her experience of FLP.

One week ago I visited Wendy for a Future Life Progression, I have a keen interest in Past Life Regression but knew very little about this.  The session was relaxing and I felt quite energised afterwards.  I am setting up a business so my focus was how this would progress over the next 5 and 10 years, I found the insight I gained from this session quite invaluable.   I had many ideas regarding the direction my business would take and was becoming very confused over where I should be concentrating my energies, this session has helped me to streamline my thoughts and focus on one path.  Looking back it is now quite obvious what I should have been doing but in my confusion I just couldn’t see it.  I would recommend this to anyone who is looking for some direction in life – Rose

~

FLP therapy was an absolute delight! It’s difficult to describe in words the potential I can now see within myself which without Wendy’s guidance I may never have been woken up to.  Wendy’s genuine passion to help others reach their full potential makes for an exceptionally rewarding experience – K Thomas

Additional information about FLP can be found at Future life Progression working in person in Sutton, Surrey UK or over Skype for your convenience.

What are you waiting for?….

The future is yours…

Wendy Fry, Emotional Health & Love & Relationship Consultant is an Advanced Practitioner of Future Life Progression.

Author of Find YOU, Find LOVE and offering  a range of services helping you to help yourself live an awesome life!

 

 

12 Jan

Make LOVE Your Story

If you ever wondered whether there was a limit to how happy you can be, how loved and cherished you can feel, how complete you can become,  think again… 

there is no limit, none at all! 

 

If you ever wondered whether there was a limit pg 177

From this moment on, when you get caught up in a story in your mind, please take a moment and reflect:

  • What part of your story is a replay of what happened in the past that is negative?
  • How often do you tell this story?
  • When you tell this story, how do you feel?
  • Is your story one that you are creating about the future with a negative expectation based on the past?
  • How is thinking in this way limiting you?
  • What are the consequences of thinking this way?
  • What do you want instead?

The memory on replay or the thought about the future isn’t real though your mind and body may think it is real and you will find your body responding to a thought.

For example if you’re anxious about a past event or something happening in the future that worries you, you may find yourself breathing shallowly, having sweaty palms,have butterflies in your tummy or even start feeling dizzy.

There is no evidence at all except the story in your mind, that the negative aspects of your past will repeat themselves or your future fears will come true. It’s a story that you may have been playing for way too long and when you play that story over and over your body hears that story and will respond with the physical reactions based on your thoughts about fear, sadness, despair etc.  The limitations that you place on your future are really just thoughts!

The future is not limited, but your thinking may be. It’s time to change the story.

Power Questions and Practical Exercise 

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Use the following twelve steps to bring your thoughts back into balance every time you recognise yourself going into automatic negative thinking about love and relationships.  Copy out these statements and carry with you until the questioning becomes part of your natural thought process to bring yourself back each time you go into a story.

1 Am I confusing thought with fact?
2 Am I predicting the future negatively?
3 Am I jumping to conclusions?
4 Am I assuming I can do nothing to change my situation?
5 Am I overestimating the chance of disaster?
6 Am I thinking in all or nothing terms?
7 Am I only paying attention to the negative side of things?
8 Am I telling myself I’m not lovable because of things that have happened in my past?
9 Am I focusing on my weaknesses and forgetting my strengths?
10 What are the advantages and disadvantages of thinking this way?
11 Do my negative thoughts help or hinder me?
12 If I bring balance to my thinking, what would love do here?

The Past is Over

The past is over.  It’s gone.  It’s history.  Only your thoughts and energy of ‘The Story’ and these negative experiences keep the past alive. It’s only your thinking and the energy connected to this experience that remains, not the actual experience itself.

Day 12 Make love your story

Make LOVE Your Story

On a brand new sheet of paper or in a journal, write a story about a day in your life.  This will be no ordinary day, it will be the story of your ideal day when you look through the eyes of love – think specifically here about love and relationships and include that in the main content of your writing.

  • How will you be thinking differently?
  • What will your day look like?
  • What will be happening?
  • How will you be feeling?
  • What will you hear going on around you?
  • How will you be spending your time?

Write this story from the truth of who you are. Write it from your heart space where you are open to giving and receiving love.

Take time to go over your story, making sure it’s complete and then read your story every day for a week.

By focusing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want and getting into the energy space of having what you dream of, your dreams are more likely to become a reality.  It is also very uplifting to be thinking from the place of what is possible and that everything you have included in your ideal day is achievable.

You will be writing this in the present tense, as if what you want has already come to pass and you are enjoying your life and love relationships.

Please do make contact if you’d like to work with me at www.wendyfry.com  You can also download some free resources and audios on love and relaitonships on there too.

I also have a Find YOU, Find LOVE facebook page if you wish to connect there where you will find out more about 365 Days to LOVE. https://wendyfry.com/365-days-love/

 

 

19 Oct

Rewriting the Past Using The Spotlight Process

Having worked therapeutically with many people over the years, I have seen how people were limiting themselves and their love and relationship goals because of their negative thinking.

They were either spending too much time thinking about the past, focusing entirely on current problems, or projecting catastrophic and disabling fears into the future.

I developed The Spotlight Process which is featured in my very first book, Find YOU, Find LOVE to help you acknowledge where you have been spending most of your thought time and will guide you to work out where your thoughts may be out of balance and how to change them.  By being aware of your thought time and how it may limit you, you are given an opportunity to rewrite that past.

Where have you been shining your spot light?

  • Are you stuck in the past thinking about all the things you regret not having done? Do you feel angry and bitter about your choices? Do you wish you have your life all over again wishing you knew back then what you know now?
  • Do you spend a lot of time thinking about your current problems, feeling like there’s no way out? Do you feel overwhelmed, bogged down, fed up and tired of life?
  • Are you constantly evaluating, judging and filtering for all the things that could go wrong for you in the future? Are you scared of taking risks and things going wrong? Do you find it hard to trust, to live, to love?

Rewriting the Past

The Spotlight Process  in full will be featured in my next workshop on Saturday 15th November 2014, you can book here http://goo.gl/aMlZQY 

Now is the perfect time to apply The Spotlight Process to your own life simply by examining your thoughts.

  • Wherever you are at this moment, I invite you to think about a spotlight and the light that shines from it. Whether you see it, sense it or imagine it, think about that spotlight right now. This ray of light could be a light in the form a torch, a lighthouse, a stage spotlight. Whatever spotlight comes to mind is perfect for you.
  • Think of this ray of light as a ray of your thoughts, feelings and emotions. This light can shine back into your past, ahead to your future or into this very moment.
  • This is your spotlight. You are in control of shining the light. You are the director of where you narrow your beam and what you choose to illuminate and think about. Whatever you shine your light on, you will experience.
  • Using The Spotlight Process consider where you have been spending most of your thought time?
  • Examine your thoughts & feelings about past are they positive or negative in terms of love and relationships?
  • How you feel about your current relationship status in the present?
  • Consider what concerns and fears you have about the future of your relationships?

Using this process you will gain insights into what has been holding you back from finding you and finding love.

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The Spotlight Process – Key Questions:

I suggest you copy these questions into a journal to carry them around with you until the questions become part of your natural thought process.

  1. Where is my thinking right now? (Past, Present or Future?)
  2. What proportion of my thinking is negative?
  3. How does it affect me when I focus on the negative?
  4. Where is the evidence that what I think will happen will happen?
  5. What do I want instead of thinking or feeling this way?
  6. Coming from my heart instead of my head what would love do here?

When you are clear about where you have been spending your thought time and how this may be limiting you, the path ahead is brighter and more achievable, using this process will support you into brining your thoughts into balance and what you need to do to change them.

It’s time to rewrite the past and decide from now on that you will use the past to your best advantage, to learn from it and grow into being the lovable person that you are.

If you wish to sign up for my fortnightly newsletter and download the freebies I’m offering you go to  https://www.wendyfry.com and connect if you wish to on the Find YOU, Find LOVE facebook page you can do so via this link https://www.facebook.com/findyoufindlove?ref=hl

From my heart to yours with love x

Wendy