Self talk Archives

04 Mar

Surrender to Possibility

In the absence of limited thinking and negative beliefs which hold you back from taking risks what would you do if you could do anything?

When was the last time you surrendered to not knowing an outcome and decided to go along for the journey anyway?

What’s the best that can happen when you surrender to possibility?

Nothing is guaranteed in life except what you think to be impossible probably will be….

Remember IMPOSSIBLE includes the word I’M POSSIBLE. My advice is to get on it, feel the fear and do it anyway you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

”It’s impossible” said Pride. ”It’s risky” said Experience, ”It’s pointless” said Reason, ”Give it a try” whispered The Heart…

What can you do today that your future self will thank you for?

What can you start doing, stop doing or do differently which will take you closer towards your hearts desires?

Live your life as if there are endless possibilities ~ The world is your lobster and what you want is only ever a thought away….

Act as if that which you want has come to pass and get into the ‘possibility mindset’, take action and strive to remember at all times : When nothing is sure…everything is possible ~ Margaret Drabble

23 Jan

Wellness or Illness – What’s Your Focus?

Whether you’re reading this in the morning or at the end of your day, I invite you to take a moment and reflect on your thoughts for the day ahead or the thoughts you have had. Is your anticipated day one of dread, doom and gloom or thinking back over your day has your focus been on wellness or illness?

Wellness isn’t just about physical health, our minds are powerful creators and depending on the direction of our thoughts they can either lift us up or pull us down. It’s the same for illness. No one wants to be ill, feel poorly or out of sorts though what we can do is focus on getting well, taking actions to help ourselves by eating the right foods, exercising, getting out in nature and taking our intention to one of healing and wellness.

If for any reason you can’t physically get out to do these things what you can do is to take your mind on an amazing holiday as often as you like until you feel re-charged and energised. If the Caribbean is your desired location take your mind there right now, notice the blue of the sky, the feel of the warm sand on your feet, the smell of the sea, the taste of salt in your mouth from swimming or resting at the waters edge, the sound of the waves lapping on the sure…hmmm….bliss wouldn’t you agree.

It’s true to say many people walk about ‘unconsciously’, meaning they may not even be aware of there thoughts until someone like me comes along and asks…”are your thoughts working for you, yes or no?” If what you are thinking makes you feel lousy, the good news is you can change your thoughts, after all you are the creator of your thoughts are you not?

In my line of work I get to meet some amazing people who are ready to master their thoughts as well as their lives. These people have woken up from the unconscious walking around letting their negative thoughts rule them and instead show up ready to unlearn the negative hypnotising they have been doing to themselves.

Words are powerful creators, including the words we say in our heads as well as the ones we speak and share. Would you really talk to another person the way you do to yourself?

It’s not until we explore our negative thoughts and patterns of behaviour including our thinking do we become enlightened that we have the choice. We can focus on illness or wellness, it’s really quite simple.

I invite you to make a pact with yourself from today, whenever you find yourself going off on a tangent or thinking about the things that make you feel drained, unhappy, angry, fearful or emotionally upset, change your focus to the thoughts which lift you up. Give yourself a healthy dose of encouragement, support, reassurance, love and kindness and notice how much better you feel when you turn your thoughts to wellness.

Here to guide you are the key questions from The Spotlight Process. A unique technique which I have developed to bring your thoughts into balance.

1. Where is my thinking right now? (Past, Present or Future?)

2. What proportion of my thinking is negative?

3. How does it affect me when I focus on the negative?

4. Where is the evidence that what I think will happen will happen?

5. What do I want instead of thinking or feeling this way?

6. Coming from my heart instead of my head what would love do here?

Need a helping hand to further master your thoughts? There is a whole chapter on The Spotlight Process in my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE along with a chapter on EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to support you in finding emotional freedom.

Because I love to give and want you to succeed this guided meditation ‘Negative Memory Release’ will support you in moving forwards towards health and wellness. It’s the first download you come to when you reach the downloads page, scroll down until you find it. Enjoy…

So, love your day and love your life by simply changing your thoughts.

Your future self will thank you for it…

From my heart to yours, with love,

Wendy

15 Jan

Be Your Own Super Hero

Okay, so do I have your attention?

If you’ve been waiting for a knight in shining armour, a genie in a bottle or your fairy godmother to come along and they have been on a detour for as long as you can remember…it’s time to get your big girl panties on and be your own super hero.

Not so long ago someone said to me ”you’re going to need someone else to take care of you now”, little did they know I have my very own super powers and have been doing a mighty fine job of looking after myself.

It’s all too easy to get complacent in life, waiting for the good times to roll but if you’re going blue in the face from waiting or constantly checking your phone, email or social media status for the invitations, celebrations and the magic dreams are made of to fall into your lap and they’re not, here is a savvy plan for taking action.

Think about what it is you want from life. There may be several things such as an improved career, the relationship of your dreams, good health, a palace complete with indoor spa and a fridge full of healthy foods along with a gorgeous waiter to serve them to you, the whole shoe or book collection you’ve been adding to your wish list, or maybe it’s something really simple like spending more time walking in nature.

Whatever it is you want, you can have. You just have to start somewhere. Rather than scattering your focus on your entire wish list and getting frustrated and exhausted waiting for the things on it to materialise, this is the alternative for waiting for your super hero to rescue you.

So…here goes, grab yourself a pen and paper:

Make a list of all the things you would like to come to pass
Decide on just one of these things (for now) that you are going to make your main focus
Whatever this one thing is, what’s the one thing you can start with to bring this to fruition?
What’s the next step, the next and the one after that?
Get into the feeling place as if what you want has already happened
Imagine it, enjoy it, experience it, make it real in your mind
Turn up the feelings associated with your achievement, swish them all around your body…hmm, feels good doesn’t it
What will you see when you have realised your dream? Make the colours in the picture brighter, sharper, stronger, clearer
What will you hear when your goal is ‘living’ make the sounds inside your own mind and the external sounds louder, sharper and more defined
What will you taste and smell? Turn the smell and taste right up and savour it
Act as if what you want has come to pass and spend time each day getting into the feeling, seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and sensing of your actualised experience

Raising you vibration in this way, focusing on what it is you want and acting as if it has already materialised will serve you far better than wishing, hoping and dreaming.

Begin today as you mean to go on, and if your goal is anything like mine, you will achieve the other things as part of the process of beginning now with doing the one thing that will make everything else really easy.

Always remember you are your own hero or heroine in the game of life and you can be, do and have whatever you set your mind to…on your marks, get set, go….

What’s the best that can happen?

Woo hoo, enjoy the ride……

Oh and just for the sheer pleasure of it, here is one of my favourite tracks Hero by the beautiful and talented Enrique Iglesias. Why not sing it to yourself and commit to being your own hero.

With love from me to you,

x Wendy

09 Jan

When Nothing is Certain….

Everything is possible…

So many times different people both friends and clients have said to me ‘what if i can’t?’, my answer is always, ‘what if you can?’

Limits exist only in the mind, what we believe to be true becomes an end result or in some cases no result at all.

It’s true to say in life there are often many challenges that come at unexpected times and also the events we know will happen with certainty that we have to prepare for.

Here are just a few examples of where people get stuck in their thinking:

It’s impossible
I’m too old
No one will want me
I’m not experienced enough
All my relationships have failed
I keep attracting the wrong types
I don’t have the money
I don’t have the energy
It’s hopeless
I can’t do it

I’m sure you get the picture and perhaps by even reading those few short statements your energy has slumped, you feel defeated, negative, unhappy. Words are powerful and it’s the words we say to ourselves inwardly and outwardly that contribute to feeling stuck and often if were’re feeling stuck we take no action because we are in a place of fear often trapped in the past and scared it will repeat itself.

So here are my re-frames I offer when I hear the kinds of complaints above:

How do you know?
Compared to whom?
Where is the evidence of this?
What can you do to gain the experience you need?
What have you learnt from these relationships?
If you were to focus on the ‘right types’ what is the right type for you?
What other resources are open to you to achieve what you want?
If you did have the energy what’s the first thing you’d do, how will that one small action benefit you?
What do you want instead of that feeling of hopelessness?
Get rid of the T in can’t and you can

It’s an interesting fact to share…

We are not our thoughts though our thoughts will ultimately take us closer to a desired outcome or further away.

So on that note…

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
What will this look like, feel like and sound like to you?
Looking back on how you achieved this how did you do it?
What advice would your ‘future self’ give you in order to get started?
If you were to become your own best friend what would you say to yourself which offers support, encouragement and praise along the way?
What’s one thought, action and deed you can take today which will take you closer to your desire?

Remember you can be, do and have anything you set your mind to and when your thinking tells you otherwise tell it to ‘go and do one!’ or something similar.

You are not your thoughts. You are a magnificent creator and your dreams can be part of your reality and experience.

Begin today acting as if and work backwards…

Happiness, success, love, career progression, whatever it is you want is only ever a thought away

03 Jan

Mirror, Mirror…..

Life is but a reflection of our beliefs, hopes and fears. What we say to ourselves inside our own minds and outwardly does indeed influence our futures. What we think we can or can’t do eventually comes to pass.

Not so many years ago I had a dream; I left my day job and perused a career which in actual fact is a vocation, a joy, a way of being. Many told me to get a ‘proper job’ or even a part time job to tide me over. Some said ‘it’s too risky’, others ‘too competitive’, others simply rolled their eyes and thought I’d lost the plot.

The truth is I had faith in myself from day one that I could achieve my dreams. I didn’t sit back waiting for the dream to happen. I took action, invested in myself, re-trained, read what seems like a million books, prioritised my life, cut out the things I didn’t need, I budgeted, planned, took more action and you know what happened ‘The Universe’ if you believe in such a thing/place/energy saw what I was doing, it listened to my thoughts, it felt my vibration of acting as if this dream had already come to pass and sent a truck load of opportunities my way. Needless to say I had quite a few celebrations along the way.

There are not many who can honestly say they are living a happy life though for me, my life is incredibly happy. Every day I get to do the work I love working with people who also want to live their dreams. Looking back I have achieved so much and you can too.

Begin today by bringing your thinking and feelings into balance. Are you really living the life you want or do you want something different? If it’s the latter, start imagining what it will feel like when you are beyond the goal achievement, when you’ve reached a point in your life when even more beautiful experiences have come to pass because you took action towards your dreams.

Your thoughts become things; begin today by reaching for the higher feeling thought until you can actually feel the joy of living the life you want. You only have to think it and to feel it for it to become a reality. Everything else is part of the ride of discovering your fullest potential.

Begin today and notice what you are reflecting out to the world, if you don’t like the refection, change it. You are the master of your thoughts and your destiny.
Ready to make even deeper lasting change find out how right here

18 Dec

Staying Sane at Christmas

Christmas for many can be a happy occasion but for others it’s a stressful time of year.

The classic saying ‘let bygones be bygones’ is often easier said than done.

If your thoughts are on all the things that could go wrong over the festive season guaranteed having the expectation will bring more of the same.

The thing is – you don’t have to do what you’ve always done, you don’t have to think how you’re always thought and you don’t have to act and behave in ways which aren’t helpful to you or anyone else.

It’s natural that we may want to protect ourselves from criticism, the judgement of others, expected arguments and the continuation of a family feud but in reality it can be so different.

Just one small change needs to be made and that change begins with you.

Instead of thinking about what you don’t want, focus on the most positive outcome possible then hold the vision and trust the process that this too will come to pass.

The Spotlight Process will help you to stay sane at Christmas enormously.

You might like to copy out and carry around these questions until they become familiar in your thought pattern. Instead of responding in the old way, begin afresh by exploring the meaning and beliefs you are placing on an event, experience or in relation to the person you are in conflict with.

1. Where is my thinking right now? (Past, Present or Future?)

2. What proportion of my thinking is negative?

3. How does it affect me when I focus on the negative?

4. Where is the evidence that what I think will happen will happen?

5. What do I want instead of thinking or feeling this way?

6. Coming from my heart instead of my head what would love do here?

Ready to know more about The Spotlight Process and how embracing and applying this process in your life not just at Christmas will change your reality, simply follow this link which will take you to my first book ‘Find YOU, Find LOVE: Get to the heart of love and relationships using EFT.

Here’s to staying sane at Christmas,

From my heart to yours with love,

x Wendy

31 Oct

Meeting Your Mentors

The first mentor I had in my life was my mother. Who she was and how I related to her and her mentoring and mothering have shaped my life. I’m ever grateful for my learnings and the wisdom I have gained through her teachings.

When I say the word ‘Mentor’ who comes to mind for you? Is it your mother or someone else entirely?

There have been other mentors in my life such as my father, my brother, uncles, aunts, school teachers, neighbours, friends and as i’ve gone through life also mentors who I have esteemed to on a professional level. Pretty much everyone we interact with could be classed as a mentor as we are learning from them (good or bad)

Life is about learning, it’s an experience we can’t avoid until of course we are no longer on this earthly plane. What we take from life and the meanings we place on our experiences creates outcomes and further experiences depending on our beliefs about who we are and what we can achieve.

I’m coming up to the half a century mark (goodness knows where the time has gone) though it’s a great time to stop and reflect on my life and I invite you to do the same:

• Who has made the most positive impact in your life?
• What have you overcome with the help of others?
• Who are you eternally grateful to for the support, love and encouragement they have shown you?
• When in your life have you felt your best and who helped you to achieve this?
• What are the life experiences you have encountered which have made you the person you are today?
• Reflecting on your past who and what are you grateful for?
• Looking towards your future what would your current self say to your future self?
• Thinking about the rest of your life and knowing too, you are your own best mentor. What will you start doing, stop doing and do differently to make the rest of your life the best of your life?

We never know what path we will walk when we are born into this world and our experiences can make us or break us. The fact that you are reading this means you are made up of courage, determination, strength and love, oh and stardust! You have the ability to continue ever onwards living your life on purpose and mentoring yourself along the way to check you are on track.

The mentors in our lives help us, support us and encourage us and we too play a big hand in what we choose to do with their guidance. Decide today if you are to be your very own personal mentor what is the first thing you will say to yourself? and the next, and the next and the next? What is the first action you will take? and the next and the next and the next? When you commit to yourself to make your past work for you so much can be gained.

I am ever grateful for the mentors in my life and I have listed them in my next book Mothers and Daughters: The guide to understanding and transforming the relationship with your mother

With loving thanks to my mother Jeanette and father Paul who gave me the gift of life and my brother Colin who taught me how to shape some funky dance moves when the going gets tough. Massive hugs to my wonderful friends especially ‘THE HOGS’ (Girlfriends with Hearts of Gold) Gill Shaw, Ann Whittaker, Deborah Marshall, Joanna Emmerson, Maaike Vlamm, Lucy Moreton, Lisa Rackham and Caroline Maidment, you are the best!

Special thanks goes to Olive Webb who was like a second mum to me; Olive picked me up many times when I fell down and always with love. Heartfelt gratitude goes out to Margaret Biggs, Helen Stanbridge, Jane Taylor, Curly Martin, Lexie Bebbington, Anne Jirsch, Sasha Allenby, Monica Cafferky and Sharon King. To all the people who have caused me pain and discomfort in my life, without the challenges and experiences I had with you, I may never have found the path leading me to do the work I love – so I thank you.

I’ve come a long way because of the people I met and have been blessed by many to receive their help and support as well as their love, encouragement and guidance. It’s been a gift to have found them, or maybe they found me…

Not always one to blow my own trumpet there’s no time like the present to also recognise I’ve got to where I am through my own determination and I invite you to do the same.

Take a bow, salute yourself and do the happy dance in acknowledgement of just how far you’ve come. Here’s looking forward to the next half a century and the wonderful mentors and experiences we have yet to discover.

24 Oct

Nothing is Set in Stone

When nothing is certain everything is possible…

Life ideally is about achieving balance and harmony, though in reality nothing is set in stone even if we think it is. What we once knew for certain may become uncertain, old constructs change shape, what was promised is forgotten, what we hoped to achieve falls away and we may have no choice but to start again, though this time differently.

Change can be painful though on the other hand with change we transform and grow. We find hidden strengths we may never have discovered otherwise and we can begin a new chapter and a new journey getting ever curious about what’s the best that can happen.

New opportunities we never imagined may show up and we break out of the self confined prison we have been in. What once may have felt like a comfort zone no longer provides safety as it simply stops us growing and becoming all we can be.

Relationships are ever changing and if we can roll with the changes and even create some of our own it allows us to change the relationship we have with ourselves. We do not have to be who we have always been. Every day is a gift, the gift of starting over and beginning again

So remember – when life feels out of balance and relationships change along the way, all is not lost it’s just about finding a different kind of balance.

One thing for certain is to always remember you have you. External events may change, relationships may change, people may change though at the end of the day you still have you, and that dear heart is the one thing you can rely on, you’ve got this far and I know you can roll with the changes because nothing is set in stone.

When nothing is certain anything is possible…..

If you’d like to find out more about finding balance and improving your relationships check out my first book Find YOU, Find LOVE and my next book Mothers and Daughters due out next month.

As always, from my heart to yours,

With love x

02 Oct

Make Your Life a Masterpiece

It’s no secret life seems to pass by at the blink of an eye.

When you think of your life so far, the highs, the lows, the inbetweens, what stands out the most?

Depending on your answer you will have either gone through your filing cabinet (hard drive) and the inner workings of your mind to select your favourite happy memories or indeed perhaps the files of hardships, difficulties and disappointments came to the fore.

The question I asked wasn’t a trick question, I’m just curious as to how your mind works. Depending on your mood today your answer might well be different tomorrow. Your mindset will either create a work of art or indeed a mess. Your thoughts create our outcomes. No one thinks you, you are the artist so to speak…’The Thinker’.

Going back to life seeming to pass by at the blink of an eye if you were to begin today living your life on purpose rather than going through the motions what would you start doing, stop doing or do differently?

It’s true to say there may be other people in your life you may need to care for but how much of your life are you really living with joy, happiness, appreciation and happiness?

What opportunities are you missing out on? If you were to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone just a little, what can you start with, what’s the next step, the next and the one after that?

Remember some see flowers, others see weeds. It’s all about perspective.

Make your life a masterpiece, you are the director of your show, the artist of your canvas and the musician of your overture. Give it everything you’ve got!

25 Sep

Courage of Your Convictions

You and I both took our first steps with courage.

It never entered our minds to give up, we simply got back up and put one foot in front of the other and another and then another and there you are walking, talking, singing and dancing, all things you’ve had to learn at some point and whether you know it or not, that took courage.

Courage is all about taking action and having the determination to carry out one’s goals and to do or say what you think is right regardless of another’s opinion. Courage is about having confidence in yourself (or acting ‘as if’) until you become fearless.

Success and courage go hand in hand. Limits I have to tell you only exist in your mind.

Reflecting back, what have you already achieved despite believing it wasn’t possible?

What challenges have you overcome?

How did you achieve what you’ve already learnt?

In what situations do you become fearful?

What’s beneath the fear? (is it fear of other people’s judgement, fear of failing, fear of not being good enough etc?)

Acknowledging fears are nothing more than thoughts which create a physical response what small action can you take today to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone?

What can you hold yourself accountable for tomorrow, the next day and the day after that to conquer your fears and take those all important steps in the direction of your dreams?

Half of what we fear never happens! We make up stories in our minds to prepare us for the ‘worse case scenario’. I personally prefer to take my mind to ‘what’s the best that can happen here’ and add to the movie how good it feels to achieve my goal, what I will see and hear and then I keep focusing on the results I want. Truth is you can’t think a negative and a positive thought at the same time, try it and see.

Our thoughts can limit us until we acknowledge we are afraid. Try shifting focus and know the end goal is much more compelling than the feeling of staying stuck where we are. Make friends with Focus and Intention. Spend time each day thinking about what you want and how wonderful it will be for your goals to come to fruition. Heck, even buy the bottle of champagne in preparation of the celebration.

If you need some extra help in feeling the fear and doing it anyway. You’ll enjoy reading ‘The Magician’s Way’ by William Whitecloud. Although this book talks a lot about playing golf, you don’t need to be a gold player to improve your swing and how you approach life. Simply focusing on the target and acting as if will improve all life areas.

I want you to know you matter! Take just four and a half minutes to watch this video Find Your Courage, you’ll be glad you did.

And just for the record, i’d been feeling nervous and uncomfortable about a forthcoming opportunity on Tuesday where to begin with I felt more than a little out of my depth but I had a word with myself and turned round my fears. I’ve spent some time preparing and learning things I have previously put off and now my focus is on excitement and wondering what the best outcome will be. Working through my own limitations and overcoming the obstacles and limiting beliefs in my mind, well i’m set for a great day and you know what, whatever the outcome it will be a perfect experience for me.

Courage is beginning with the first step and taking the next and the next and the next. What’s the best that can happen?

” Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition they somehow know what you truly want to become” Steve Jobs