There’s a saying that goes ”A change is as good as a rest” Have you heard it?
Just today someone contacted me as they were fearful of an unexpected change in their lives. I asked them the following questions:
- What do you know for certain about this change?
- What is this an opportunity for?
- What haven’t you yet thought of that could be a positive about this change?
- What are you moving away from that you’re pleased to let go of?
- What are you moving towards that could actually be beneficial to you?
There’s another saying that goes ”the only think to fear is fear itself” and change is like that too!
FEAR = Failure To Experience Actual Reality.
Half of what we worry about never comes true!
That’s a heck of a lot of wasted energy and worrying when you could have been spending time on doing something fun.
Read through and record how many of the automatic negative thoughts you identify with when it comes to change or anything else that’s been worrying you come to that. You can apply this exercise to anything.
Simply mentally tick off the statements that are true for you or record in a journal which statements you think the most often. In doing so you will become aware of how many of your thoughts are automatic negative thoughts that are in fact not based on reality at all.
|Automatic Negative Thought
|Mind reading||Assume that you know what people are thinking|
|Fortune telling||Predicting the future in a negative way|
|Judging||View yourself/others/events in terms of good/bad|
|Labelling||Giving global negative meanings about yourself and others|
|Ignoring the positives||Positive things aren’t recognised or seem trivial|
|Blowing things out of scale||Believe that what will happen will be unbearable|
|Personalising||Assume self blame for negative events|
|Over generalising||See a global pattern of negatives based on a single event|
|‘Should’s’||Seeing people and events as to how you think they ‘should’ be|
|Negative filtering||Focus on the negative, ignoring the positive|
|Focusing on regrets||Focus on the idea that you should have done better in the past|
|Emotional reasoning||Allowing your feelings to guide your perception of reality|
|‘What if’ thinking||Thinking about all the things that could go wrong|
|All or nothing thinking||Black and white thinking/ only good or bad- no in between|
|Blaming||Focusing on others as a source of your negative feelings|
|Unfair comparisons||Focus on others who you perceive are doing better than you|
|Inability to discomform||Reject any evidence that might contradict your negative thoughts|
When it comes to change it isn’t always a bad thing!
Until the change has come to pass how can we possibly know what that change will bring?
If you need a helping hand in working through a recent shock connected with change or indeed you have been putting of making changes or accepting that a change is imminent please do make contact. I work via Skype and also in person in Sutton, Surrey, UK. www.bepositive.me.uk
There was a time in my life I was resistant to change and believe me it’s no fun resisting and now my motto is…
”Whatever happens I can handle it!”
What if every single change you’ve experienced and will go through is leading you to exactly where you’re meant to be!