Some of you may remember reading a children’s story book called Charlotte’s Web by EB White, a classic line from this book is ‘what a tangled web we weave’.
In love and relationships we weave a complicated web of stories about love and relationships based on beliefs, perceptions, judgements, conditions and the need for approval and acceptance. We often hand over our responsibility of being loved to another person (acting as a child would wanting our needs to be met by another) and that in itself can put huge pressure on the relationship. Not only that we lose a sense of our inner selves and give up on taking self responsibility to fulfil our own needs. It often becomes an obsession to get our needs met and can seem like life and death if they are not.
As children growing up it is natural for us to look towards our caregivers and parents to cater to our every whim to seek for and be rewarded with love, approval, acceptance and nurturing, though as adults that is our personal responsibility, it’s no longer appropriate to look outside of ourselves for these things or to demand them in a relationship.
It is no longer appropriate to act from that ‘little me’ place. Coming across as the needy baby or child when you are an adult. In fact it complicates things if we are constantly clingy, needy and wanting to be ‘filled up’ with the love, approval, acceptance or attention from another.
In my forthcoming book Find YOU Find LOVE, using The Spotlight Process and EFT you will gain insight and clarity into why your love relationships may not have been as loving or lasting as you would like them to be.
When we truly grow up and take responsibility (response-ability) responding to our own needs rather than looking to others to respond to and look after us, our lives can change dramatically and we have the capacity to totally transform them.